Small town attitude

pilly

Okay, I started off the day in great form, it's a Friday and the sun is shining etc.

But I work in a tiny village where there the majority of employees live in the same village and have done all their lives.

Sometimes the attitude does my head in and other times I can laugh it off.

You know the type the I'm talking about "now she's cousins with so and so who got your one pregnant and then left her and then she had another baby for so and so"

Today though is a more serious situation. One of the lads in the factory next to us committed suicide and they have nothing better to do here than gossip and why, when, what, where etc.

I'm trying to not even reply but I feel like I'm going to explode and say "get a fcuking life and don't be dissecting others".

The things they're speculating about are atrocious and half of them probably aren't true, I don't know and don't need to know. It's horrible.

Help me stay sane through the day Boardsies.

conor_ie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ggIHfwkIWM

Kimbot

Sounds like you work with this guy:

Mr. Incognito

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2N_uvnvGbI

biko

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-WJYCM0YiM

me_irl

Can you take the midnight train, goin' anywhere?

buzzwell

It's an Irish thing, or so we think.
It's probably the same the world over, people love a good gossip, and often the spicier the better, dressed up as concern for the individual who is the focus of their discussions.

How to rise above it? I don't know, distract yourself somehow?
It's easier when you're younger though, you look at the old ones doing it and say you'll never be an old one doing it and then you just say fook it, keep me in the loop, I don't want to be the only one not knowing what's going on.

Biggest lickspittle on boardz

The gossiping attitude is the same in every town, village, and city around the world. I've visited friends and cousins around the world, they're all chattering away about the neighbour, shopkeeper, barman, and postman.

It's just that in towns and cities you wouldn't know as many people locally. But the one's that are known, become part of the news and gossip.

It's human nature to rationalise and discuss why something has happened. Some suggestions might be accurate, others ludicrous. The ludicrous ideas are usually discarded and discounted. Maybe you should get off your high horse and stop pretending like you've never gossiped about someone, or questioned why someone has committed suicide. I know I've asked plenty of questions when someone close to me killed themselves.

Widdershins

Nah she's not on a high horse, insinuating horrible things when the poor person is dead and cant stick up for themself is cruel. It could spread around and upset their family/friends even more.

My friend had an accident years ago and the rumours just got more ridiculous as time went on. Local legend now has it that he was beaten up by the Russian mafia for double crossing them over a land sale or something.

And if you asked one of m neighbours (who's patently unwell in the head, and at least anyone sensible can see it), she'd tell you all sorts of hair raising stories about me. I love finding out all about my scandalous life, it's fascinating!

pilly

Biggest lickspittle on boardz wrote: »

The gossiping attitude is the same in every town, village, and city around the world. I've visited friends and cousins around the world, they're all chattering away about the neighbour, shopkeeper, barman, and postman.

It's just that in towns and cities you wouldn't know as many people locally. But the one's that are known, become part of the news and gossip.

It's human nature to rationalise and discuss why something has happened. Some suggestions might be accurate, others ludicrous. The ludicrous ideas are usually discarded and discounted. Maybe you should get off your high horse and stop pretending like you've never gossiped about someone, or questioned why someone has committed suicide. I know I've asked plenty of questions when someone close to me killed themselves.

I'm not on any bloody high horse.

And no I've never gossiped about anyone who's committed suicide because I've experienced it in my own family and I know the pain it causes.

These people aren't close to the guy who's committed suicide, they've never even spoken to him and neither have I. That's why I prefer to keep my mouth shut.

All of a sudden he's gay, he was an alcoholic, he was sacked, he was robbing, he was living in squalor. It's disgusting. Even if he was all of the above strangers don't need to know it or discuss it.

I think it's you who's on your high horse this afternoon.

freshpopcorn

I find people gossip everywhere to be honest.
People in a small town will gossip about things and people in cities gossip to.
People in a small town in Limerick will gossip about a local suicide and people in living in a Dublin or even bigger place will gossip something that effects them.
In generally I've nearly always found gossip to be true.

Lorelli!

The area I live is a bit like that but I haven't really noticed any gossiping or anything. I don't live here that long though but it does seem like everyone knows each other.

My husband and I were going into the shop a while ago and a man who we have chatted to a few times was leaving as we were going in. When he saw us, he said to my husband "hiya Sam" but then he obviously couldn't remember my name and stuttered a bit and then blurted out and nodded "hiya Sam's wife"

Glenster

freshpopcorn wrote: »

People in a small town will gossip about things and people in cities gossip to.

Yeah but in a small town you cant do anything but it will be commented on.

"Oh I see you had a salad for your lunch today, on a diet are we?"

"Young Noel's on a diet I hear, wonder what that's about if you know what I mean"

That sort of nonsense would never happen in a city.

valoren

Some people are just c*nts.
C'est la vie.

Mutant z

All the joys of being within a small community everyone knows something about everyone else, very different to living in a city where you often wouldn't even know who your neighbours are.

Your Face

I hear John is on the All-bran.

CeilingFly

Unfortunately that is what happens. In a way its a way for people to cope with what has happened - soem will look to see where the can lay blame, others will say not particularly nice things, others will just follow the crowd like sheep.

What they don't want to hear is that they would have any blame. S

Of course when its the funeral they'll all pretend that are so concerned and then 10 minutes later they will get on with theor own lives.

Its not just here, its a "small town" issue in many countries - and when its "small town" it can be a neighbourhood in a large city, but its the same mentality.

freshpopcorn

Glenster wrote: »

Yeah but in a small town you cant do anything but it will be commented on.

"Oh I see you had a salad for your lunch today, on a diet are we?"

"Young Noel's on a diet I hear, wonder what that's about if you know what I mean"

That sort of nonsense would never happen in a city.

I live in a small town and I've experienced the same living in cities. The line about a salad salad could be said anywhere and same goes with Noel being on a diet. I find city people equally as gossipy as country people to be honest.

Village Crazy Lady

Unfortunately gossip is part and parcel of small town, village life, anywhere in the world. Just best to ignore, I live in a village and I find it helpful for my sanity to not listen to it nor tell anyone my business but unfortunately what they don't know they just make up. It's amazing the stuff I find out about myself that I didn't know:)

pilly

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I live in a small town and I've experienced the same living in cities. The line about a salad salad could be said anywhere and same goes with Noel being on a diet. I find city people equally as gossipy as country people to be honest.

The difference being if you live in a city it's unlikely that the person serving your lunch knows everyone in your life.

pilly

Village Crazy Lady wrote: »

Unfortunately gossip is part and parcel of small town, village life, anywhere in the world. Just best to ignore, I live in a village and I find it helpful for my sanity to not listen to it nor tell anyone my business but unfortunately what they don't know they just make up. It's amazing the stuff I find out about myself that I didn't know:)

Well now, you are the Village Crazy Lady, I've heard some good stories about you myself. :D

realdanbreen

pilly wrote: »

Okay, I started off the day in great form, it's a Friday and the sun is shining etc.

But I work in a tiny village where there the majority of employees live in the same village and have done all their lives.

Sometimes the attitude does my head in and other times I can laugh it off.

You know the type the I'm talking about "now she's cousins with so and so who got your one pregnant and then left her and then she had another baby for so and so"

Today though is a more serious situation. One of the lads in the factory next to us committed suicide and they have nothing better to do here than gossip and why, when, what, where etc.

I'm trying to not even reply but I feel like I'm going to explode and say "get a fcuking life and don't be dissecting others".

The things they're speculating about are atrocious and half of them probably aren't true, I don't know and don't need to know. It's horrible.

Help me stay sane through the day Boardsies.

Would you prefer to live somewhere where your colleagues would not even be aware of a suicide next door?

pilly

realdanbreen wrote: »

Would you prefer to live somewhere where your colleagues would not even be aware of a suicide next door?

No, I'd prefer they didn't talk ****e about someone they don't know, that's all.

freshpopcorn

pilly wrote: »

The difference being if you live in a city it's unlikely that the person serving your lunch knows everyone in your life.

Well if you want that kind of life then move to a larger area.
When I lived in an Irish city. I knew people working in the local shops/cafes/restaurants/etc after a short while. So, I suggest a very large city if you want to avoid gossip!

Village Crazy Lady

pilly wrote: »

Well now, you are the Village Crazy Lady, I've heard some good stories about you myself. :D

Can't be true!! I've just about done it all according to everyone in the village!!

Yamanoto

And after it rains there's a rainbow
And all of the colors are black
It's not that the colors aren't there
It's just imagination they lack
Everything's the same back in my little town

In my little town I never meant nothing
I was just my father's son
Saving my money
Dreamin of glory
Twitching like a finger on a trigger of a gun

- My Little Town by Paul Simon

realdanbreen

pilly wrote: »

No, I'd prefer they didn't talk ****e about someone they don't know, that's all.

Tell them that then and problem solved!

pilly

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Well if you want that kind of life then move to a larger area.
When I lived in an Irish city. I knew people working in the local shops/cafes/restaurants/etc after a short while. So, I suggest a very large city if you want to avoid gossip!

This is After Hours, not Personal Issues.

Not looking for advice thanks. When I am I'll remember to move house anytime someone pisses me off slightly.

freshpopcorn

pilly wrote: »

This is After Hours, not Personal Issues.

Not looking for advice thanks. When I am I'll remember to move house anytime someone pisses me off slightly.

Move job as well because you clearly don't like the gossip!

LadyMacBeth_

People in cities gossip about people they know, everyone gossips. I don't like the small town/village mentality though. I was staying in a small village last weekend and me and my friends were looking outside a restaurant at the menu. The locals sitting outside did not take their eyes off us. I would suffocate living in a place like that. Give me the anonymity of living in a city any day.

DEFTLEFTHAND

It's kind of human nature to speculate about the circumstances of somebody's suicide. It's not only in small towns where this occurs.

Morbid curiosity.

realdanbreen

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

People in cities gossip about people they know, everyone gossips. I don't like the small town/village mentality though. I was staying in a small village last weekend and me and my friends were looking outside a restaurant at the menu. The locals sitting outside did not take their eyes off us. I would suffocate living in a place like that. Give me the anonymity of living in a city any day.

Yeah I envy you the anonymity you have stuck on the m50 for hours every day!

LadyMacBeth_

realdanbreen wrote: »

Yeah I envy you the anonymity you have stuck on the m50 for hours every day!

I take the bus.

pilly

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

I take the bus.

Or Luas or Dart or all of the excellent public transport services in Dublin. :D

Someone has a chip on the shoulder about being from a small town I think.

jk23

One of the best bits of advice I was given was if you took everything anyone said about you or someone else to heart you wouldn't leave the house or have a moments peace. Best thing to do is ignore it or if that's not possible rationalise that their opinions don't matter at the end of the day...

Ubbquittious

Mars Bar

Widdershins wrote: »

Nah she's not on a high horse, insinuating horrible things when the poor person is dead and cant stick up for themself is cruel. It could spread around and upset their family/friends even more.

My friend had an accident years ago and the rumours just got more ridiculous as time went on. Local legend now has it that he was beaten up by the Russian mafia for double crossing them over a land sale or something.

And if you asked one of m neighbours (who's patently unwell in the head, and at least anyone sensible can see it), she'd tell you all sorts of hair raising stories about me. I love finding out all about my scandalous life, it's fascinating!

My best friend had a brain hemhorrhage when were getting ready for P.E. The rumour after school was that the vending machine fell on her. :rolleyes:

Village Crazy Lady

Ubbquittious wrote: »

Brilliant tune, haven't heard that for years

realdanbreen

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

I take the bus.

You are making me even more envious!

realdanbreen

pilly wrote: »

Or Luas or Dart or all of the excellent public transport services in Dublin. :D

Someone has a chip on the shoulder about being from a small town I think.

Dublin! I thought you were referring to real cities in your earlier posts. Sure you would get to see everything there is to see in Dublin in 2 days, that's a fact! As for anonominity, anytime I've spent more than a few days there I have bumped into people I know!

ScumLord

Biggest lickspittle on boardz wrote: »

It's just that in towns and cities you wouldn't know as many people locally. But the one's that are known, become part of the news and gossip.

In cities gossiping about people you know is replaced with gossiping about celebrities.

That's always been there, if anything it's gotten much better, go back to ancient civilizations and gossip was really nasty and nothing could be done about it. They would use graffiti to put gossip up on the walls so the people being gossiped about would know exactly what's being said about them, and it would become as credible as actual facts.

pilly

realdanbreen wrote:

Dublin! I thought you were referring to real cities in your earlier posts. Sure you would get to see everything there is to see in Dublin in 2 days, that's a fact! As for anonominity, anytime I've spent more than a few days there I have bumped into people I know!

That's because it's full of culchies!

ToddyDoody

pilly wrote: »

Okay, I started off the day in great form, it's a Friday and the sun is shining etc.

But I work in a tiny village where there the majority of employees live in the same village and have done all their lives.

Sometimes the attitude does my head in and other times I can laugh it off.

You know the type the I'm talking about "now she's cousins with so and so who got your one pregnant and then left her and then she had another baby for so and so"

Today though is a more serious situation. One of the lads in the factory next to us committed suicide and they have nothing better to do here than gossip and why, when, what, where etc.

I'm trying to not even reply but I feel like I'm going to explode and say "get a fcuking life and don't be dissecting others".

The things they're speculating about are atrocious and half of them probably aren't true, I don't know and don't need to know. It's horrible.

Help me stay sane through the day Boardsies.

I'm the opposite. I have a small town attitude but work in Dublin.

My pace can be a bit slower than those I work with but I make lists and keep on top of things.

I try to be nice in a fairly simple and humble way but I feel like the office resembles the set of expose or something.

I'm actually quite terrified of the place, but keep going for the money and opportunities.

Fierce isn't too strong a word to describe my colleagues and the people on the journey on the way in.

The people near you on the tram sense if your eyes drift towards their feet while reading the phone, and tend to move them or whatever.

I pretty much do the same type of things most days but the context shifts wildly. Sometime I'm liked and other times hated with a vengeance - whereby colleagues will make growling noises in my direction.

All in all, being from outside Dublin once made you think it was the holy grail but experience has taught me to be ruthless in terms of cutting through the bull**** that goes along with the place.

pilly

ToddyDoody wrote:

I'm pretty much do the same type of things most days but the context shifts wildly. Sometime I'm liked and other times hated with a vengeance - whereby colleagues will make growling noises in my direction.

Growling noises? Do you work with dogs?

ToddyDoody

pilly wrote: »

Growling noises? Do you work with dogs?

That what it sounds like to me. Maybe I'm just a bit sensitive.

freedominacup

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

People in cities gossip about people they know, everyone gossips. I don't like the small town/village mentality though. I was staying in a small village last weekend and me and my friends were looking outside a restaurant at the menu. The locals sitting outside did not take their eyes off us. I would suffocate living in a place like that. Give me the anonymity of living in a city any day.

Any of them have banjos? Did everyone make it home?

LadyMacBeth_

freedominacup wrote: »

Any of them have banjos? Did everyone make it home?

Banjos and straw hats, and teeth missing. Several didn't make it home, we assume that they've been made into lampshades by now.

Beyondgone

I don't gossip. Does my head in listening to it. I just cut them off and change the subject. I try really hard to mind my own business. This generally gets regarded as being "too blunt" or "buzzkill". Gossip is usually shyte with no basis in facts.
"Did you hear what yer wan did?"
"No, no I didn't. Jasus, look at the time, I have to be somewhere.."

JupiterKid

As FDR's very intelligent wife and hostess, Eleanor Roosevelt, once opined:

"Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people."

pilly

JupiterKid wrote:

"Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people."

That's a great one!

Persephone kindness

conor_ie wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ggIHfwkIWM

I raise you one Dachshund eating a banana !:P