Do you have sympathy for male 'incels (involuntary celibates)?

jeanjolie

These are young adult guys who can get it up and actually want to be in a romantic/sexual relationship (maybe not enough to do anything meaningful..) but due to attractiveness, mental issues and/or dysfunctional relationships with society, family, peers, are constantly unable to.

It's a big thing on Reddit and the overall Red Pill. I wanted to post it in 'The Gentlemans Club' but I think that it's too specific and wanted to know how the average boardsie user thought of these guys.

Mrs OBumble

No different from women in the same categories.

Beyondgone

Pack of softies.
They need a stiff talking to. Or someone they really love/fancy. Either would work.

ceadaoin.

No, because as often seems to be the case, they take out their bitterness and frustration on women who have nothing to do with their situation i.e. All of them

Tigger

jeanjolie wrote: »

These are young adult guys who can get it up and actually want to be in a romantic/sexual relationship (maybe not enough to do anything meaningful..) but due to attractiveness, mental issues and/or dysfunctional relationships with society, family, peers, are constantly unable to.

It's a big thing on Reddit and the overall Red Pill. I wanted to post it in 'The Gentlemans Club' but I think that it's too specific and wanted to know how the average boardsie user thought of these guys.

I amaware of people who find getting a partner very difficult and i sometimes think about whether they realise that they would have to compromise on their type of partner in order together in a relationship and whether the decide they simply can't get someone they find attractive

I had not previously been aware of the vernacular

jeanjolie

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

No different from women in the same categories.

Unless a woman is severely deformed facially or physically, mentally incapacitated, or is choosing voluntarily,

Involuntary celibate

and

average white middle class woman

don't exist.

Tigger

Beyondgone wrote: »

Pack of softies.
They need a stiff talking to. Or someone they really love/fancy. Either would work.

I think you read it wrong

Hector Bellend

I think therefore I ****

Noveight

Seems like an completely unnecessary labeling.

Ipso

Hector Bellend wrote: »

I think therefore I ****

I have to hand it to you.

eeguy

Noveight wrote: »

Seems like an completely unnecessary labeling.

I really wish there were less names for all this stuff. Incels, cis, its so hard to keep up.

Why do we need to categorize and group people?

pillphil

Noveight wrote: »

Seems like an completely unnecessary labeling.

It's a self label as far as I know.

ThinkProgress

@OP - You'll be grand, just grow a beard... that's what all the ugly dudes do!

It's fashionable too, so nobody will think you're a paedophile!! :P

jeanjolie

ThinkProgress wrote: »

@OP - You'll be grand, just grow a beard... that's what all the ugly dudes do!

It's fashionable too, so nobody will think you're a paedophile!! :P

Not me but anyways, I dislike looking masculine; I understand that's what a lot of young women still want in a man but I'm not going to sacrifice my personality just to fit some masculine ideals.

RayM

I have sympathy for anybody who's lonely, but my sympathy levels run a bit short when they start to blame everyone else for their predicament. Which is often the case with people who call themselves "incels".

GritBiscuit

While anyone lonely or wanting a relationship who can't find their match tugs on the old heart strings, I struggle to muster sympathy for people who blame anything and everything for their woes rather do a bit of introspection and work on themselves...particularly when their "lack" is purely in reference to sex.

There are plenty of people who are less than attractive, less than mentally stable and with less than a fully functional relationship track record who are not celibate, which would suggest these aren't actually the issue...

Your Face

Sounds like an excuse to act horrible.

ceadaoin.

GritBiscuit wrote: »

While anyone lonely or wanting a relationship who can't find their match tugs on the old heart strings, I struggle to muster sympathy for people who blame anything and everything for their woes rather do a bit of introspection and work on themselves...particularly when their "lack" is purely in reference to sex.

There are plenty of people who are less than attractive, less than mentally stable and with less than a fully functional relationship track record who are not celibate, which would suggest these aren't actually the issue...

When you have a look at their subreddit and see discussions advocating raping women, transitioning to a woman just to get sex or whether they should have sex with their own sister should the opportunity arise, it's hard to have sympathy for them. I think the fact that they are a bunch of weirdos explains why they are celibate, yet they choose to blame anyone but themselves

dd972

It's a bit of a myth that incels or loveshy men are all barmy misogynists, there's people who simply 'don't have it' and people who do, the folk who do find access to love, sex, relationships, hook ups, one night stands an absolute doddle, they have personalities that work for them and therefore facilitate these situations, whereas if you don't have it then it's advisable to accept you're not going to get much out of this life unless luck or chance throws something up.

Statistically in a world of 8bn people there probably is 'someone for everyone', but it ain't much use if your soulmates in Chile or living halfway up a mountain in New Zealand.

greencap

surely there has to be more qualifiers to the term 'incel' than just being involuntarily celibate.

i mean a whole lot of the world at any one time is celibate without desire to be so. how many single people are out there ... how many of these single people would like a shag.

have to put a time frame on it.
6 months+ to qualify as incel, otherwise you're just another another randomer with a bonk on / wide on.

tomwaterford

GritBiscuit wrote: »

While anyone lonely or wanting a relationship who can't find their match tugs on the old heart strings, I struggle to muster sympathy for people who blame anything and everything for their woes rather do a bit of introspection and work on themselves...particularly when their "lack" is purely in reference to sex.

Lack is slang for girlfriend :P

NinetyTwoTeam

In my day we just called it 'going through a dry spell'.

Sex is like money, it seems way more important than it is when you don't have it.

suicide_circus

Life dosnt owe you sex

RDM_83 again

The Reddit ones seem to be toxic idiots from the brief bit I have seen of it but from the way it appears its not an existence anybody would want
For the non-Reddit types I would have sympathy, sex and highly sexualized stuff is ever present in modern society personally I'm really not sure if the whole sex positivism narrative is actually that healthy but thats a different story, I think it would take a major effort to avoid whereas in the past it would have been less in your face. Do I have more sympathy for them than those who can get sex thats low quality and possibly one-sided/exploitative but really just want a loving relationship, I am not sure.

RDM_83 again

GritBiscuit wrote: »

There are plenty of people who are less than attractive, less than mentally stable and with less than a fully functional relationship track record who are not celibate, which would suggest these aren't actually the issue...

Thats true but if you narrow it to straight men, exclude the the ones that have some sort of "status", and include high levels of social awkwardness it might make up a significant proportion of functionally celibate people.

I am not sure mental stability and relationship track record would be the most important factor if your just looking at one night stands, someone who's bipolar for example might ruin every relationship but they might pull all the time when on the upswing.

Arghus

jeanjolie wrote: »

Unless a woman is severely deformed facially or physically, mentally incapacitated, or is choosing voluntarily,

Involuntary celibate

and

average white middle class woman

don't exist.

You sound like you are talking nonsense there.

In my experience the type of guys you are referring to are the same ones who blame every external factor for their predicament and wouldn't dream of maybe having a look at themselves first and foremost to see why they may not be considered a catch. And usually they carry a fair bit of bitterness and resentment around with them too, which isn't very attractive.

SeantheMan

jeanjolie wrote: »

These are young adult guys who can get it up and actually want to be in a romantic/sexual relationship (maybe not enough to do anything meaningful..) but due to attractiveness, mental issues and/or dysfunctional relationships with society, family, peers, are constantly unable to.

It's a big thing on Reddit and the overall Red Pill. I wanted to post it in 'The Gentlemans Club' but I think that it's too specific and wanted to know how the average boardsie user thought of these guys.

Making a stupid acronym for them doesn't really help.

D0NNELLY

I've never thought about it, so don't have an opinion.

My name is URL

There's no such things as involuntary celibacy

Just like there's no such thing as involuntary suicide. It's just a pity that practitioners of one don't do the other too.

Harsh maybe, but fcuk that noise. Same people that call themselves 'incels', like pepe memes and calling people cucks. They are retarded and the world would be a better place without them.

I'm glad they can't get laid

Mod: Banned

Samaris

Sure, I have sympathy for them, I just don't have much sympathy for the ones that (as most other people have mentioned) take out their frustrations on wimminz in general for not falling all over them. It's obviously the fault of all the women that keep rejecting them and nothing at all to do with being a misogynistic, self-important little sh*tweasel at all.

Obviously not all of them are, but there would appear to be a high proportion of those that are on places like RedPill, We Were Once Mammoth-Hunters (whatever they call themselves, there's something about mammoths in there) and the other few sh*tweasel sites. I've read some of their stuff out of mild interest and good gods some of these people are absolute poison and that they can't get sex (or a loving relationship) is more to do with the self-preservation skills of most women!

RDM_83 again

My name is URL wrote: »

There's no such things as involuntary celibacy

Just like there's no such thing as involuntary suicide. It's just a pity that practitioners of one don't do the other too.

Harsh maybe, but fcuk that noise. Same people that call themselves 'incels', like pepe memes and calling people cucks. They are retarded and the world would be a better place without them.

I'm glad they can't get laid

Letting the mask slip a lot there, do you think radical feminists should also go top themselves, what' of the angry Asian males with the​ acronym I can't remember. Those groups also say loads of nasty sht

jeanjolie

GritBiscuit wrote: »

There are plenty of people who are less than attractive, less than mentally stable and with less than a fully functional relationship track record who are not celibate, which would suggest these aren't actually the issue...

The thing is I believe there's a double standard here. If someone in their mid 30s-40s was to say that they couldn't find a job, 95% of us would naturally assume that they meant a 'decent well paying job'. Not a low fast food job that doesn't pay anything. Sure, they could get a job at McDonalds and perhaps if they adjusted (really lowered the bar) of their lifestyle then they could 'get along fine' but people have standards.

In the same way that when someone says they are an 'involuntary celibate' they mean they cannot have sex with a decent, non-dsyfunctional, middle class nice girl with the level of ease that others do. They're not talking about not being able to get the girl from North Dublin with green and black hair or even if she does look and dress decently, has a dysfunctional family with a father who makes his presence known in every room of the house and the mother with emotional problems.

It's standards. That's all it is really.

osarusan

People who use the label for themselves would be the first to rail against 'identity politics', no doubt.

Galwayguy35

Learn a new word every day, never heard of an incel before today.

It's nothing new, there will always be some lads who maybe because they have no confidence to approach women or to be blunt fell out of the ugly tree will never pop their cherry unless they pay for it.

Which is easy enough to organise these days in fairness since the internet arrived.


Then there are a few weirdos who just hate women and want to hurt them because they think it's unfair they can't get laid, you got a future serial killer there.

c_man

jeanjolie wrote: »

It's a big thing on Reddit and the overall Red Pill. I wanted to post it in 'The Gentlemans Club' but I think that it's too specific and wanted to know how the average boardsie user thought of these guys.

They need to get off the internet.

El_Duderino 09

jeanjolie wrote: »

The thing is I believe there's a double standard here. If someone in their mid 30s-40s was to say that they couldn't find a job, 95% of us would naturally assume that they meant a 'decent well paying job'. Not a low fast food job that doesn't pay anything. Sure, they could get a job at McDonalds and perhaps if they adjusted (really lowered the bar) of their lifestyle then they could 'get along fine' but people have standards.

In the same way that when someone says they are an 'involuntary celibate' they mean they cannot have sex with a decent, non-dsyfunctional, middle class nice girl with the level of ease that others do. They're not talking about not being able to get the girl from North Dublin with green and black hair or even if she does look and dress decently, has a dysfunctional family with a father who makes his presence known in every room of the house and the mother with emotional problems.

It's standards. That's all it is really.

I'm not sure whether you meant to give away as much insight into you're own prejudices. That second paragraph is full of info about prejudices and sense of self importance. If that's any way indicative of the incels, then I'd have little sympathy.

It sounds like these fellas have watched too many Hollywood movies and expect Jennifer Aniston to suddenly realise he was The One this whole time. You make them sound like helpless little princesses waiting for their Prince Charming to rescue them.

Fanny Wank

I'm of the opinion that if an acronym needs to be defined it shouldn't be used

I hate this bolloxology of shortening everything

Birneybau

Noveight wrote: »

Seems like an completely unnecessary labeling.

It's modern toss

GritBiscuit

jeanjolie wrote: »

The thing is I believe there's a double standard here. If someone in their mid 30s-40s was to say that they couldn't find a job, 95% of us would naturally assume that they meant a 'decent well paying job'. Not a low fast food job that doesn't pay anything. Sure, they could get a job at McDonalds and perhaps if they adjusted (really lowered the bar) of their lifestyle then they could 'get along fine' but people have standards.

In the same way that when someone says they are an 'involuntary celibate' they mean they cannot have sex with a decent, non-dsyfunctional, middle class nice girl with the level of ease that others do. They're not talking about not being able to get the girl from North Dublin with green and black hair or even if she does look and dress decently, has a dysfunctional family with a father who makes his presence known in every room of the house and the mother with emotional problems.

It's standards. That's all it is really.

In that case they can stop with the stupid self labelling of "involuntary celibates" and start accepting they lack the tools &/or social skills to pull the kind of girl they assume they deserve...

The whole "can't have sex with" thing is beyond creepy. These are people we are talking about. Sex is an act someone chooses to share with you, chooses to share their body with you. I'd guarantee reeking of embittered self-entitlement to such a degree that appears universally undeserving is the real hurdle here. Maybe instead of concentrating on what they're not getting, these guys need to focus on what they're giving...because the mind-set you describe is less attractive than a life in McDonald's employment or that girl from N. Dublin apparently should be...ironically, I suspect the issue is "standards" on both sides...

If the reason you don't have a job or a girlfriend is your standards then you're not 'involuntary' anything.

Choc Chip

jeanjolie wrote: »

when someone says they are an 'involuntary celibate' they mean they cannot have sex with a decent, non-dsyfunctional, middle class nice girl with the level of ease that others do. They're not talking about not being able to get the girl from North Dublin with green and black hair or even if she does look and dress decently, has a dysfunctional family with a father who makes his presence known in every room of the house and the mother with emotional problems.

It's standards. That's all it is really.

Wow. I wasn't aware of the venacular but that's the reason they can't get laid right there. I'd have zero interest in someone who thought that they were above other people based on their socioeconomic status.

I'd also expect someone to take a job in mcdonalds to tide themselves over if they were really skint. Life doesn't owe you anything.

Yourself isit

The label is dumb. Apparently there are 1.5M single people in ireland. We can hardly label them all as involuntary celibates. And the solution is obvious enough.

Yourself isit

Choc Chip wrote: »

Wow. I wasn't aware of the venacular but that's the reason they can't get laid right there. I'd have zero interest in someone who thought that they were above other people based on their socioeconomic status.

I'd also expect someone to take a job in mcdonalds to tide themselves over if they were really skint. Life doesn't owe you anything.

Eh. The entire assumption here is based on the idea that there are working class women freely available (why?) but there are middle class men refusing to engage with them.

Its basically evidence free.

bodice ripper

jeanjolie wrote:

Involuntary celibate

and

average white middle class woman

don't exist.

So when men can't get laid, it's "standards", when women can't get laid they must be deficient in some way?

That's a bit telling on your part isn't it?

One always gets the impression that some voluntary personal hygiene could go a long way in these cases.

lemd

suicide_circus wrote:

Life dosnt owe you sex

But you do owe sex your life

Choc Chip

Yourself isit wrote: »

Eh. The entire assumption here is based on the idea that there are working class women freely available (why?) but there are middle class men refusing to engage with them.

Its basically evidence free.

I agree with you. My reaction was to what they said was their viewpoint.

endacl

bodice ripper wrote: »

So when men can't get laid, it's "standards", when women can't get laid they must be deficient in some way?

That's a bit telling on your part isn't it?

Go easy. He's a teenager and hasn't much of a clue. He's figuring it out online.

endacl

endacl wrote: »

Go easy. He's a teenager and hasn't much of a clue. He's figuring it out online.

I remember being a teenager. I wasn't asking any of the ladies their socioeconomics

NinjaKirby

ceadaoin. wrote: »

When you have a look at their subreddit and see discussions advocating raping women, transitioning to a woman just to get sex or whether they should have sex with their own sister should the opportunity arise, it's hard to have sympathy for them. I think the fact that they are a bunch of weirdos explains why they are celibate, yet they choose to blame anyone but themselves

This definitely sounds like an internet rabbit hole I could sink a few hours into!

These people sound insane.

Do you have a link for their subreddit?

If they are anything like MGTOW then I expect some pretty intense and angry young men spouting total nonsense.

Hande hoche!

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Letting the mask slip a lot there, do you think radical feminists should also go top themselves, what' of the angry Asian males with the​ acronym I can't remember. Those groups also say loads of nasty sht

The Hapas are a unique bunch, remember doing a bit of reading on them after the Elliot Rodger's case.

https://www.reddit.com/r/hapas/