Painful sex after childbirth! :(

ladybird111

Hi There, I hope someone out there can advise me! I gave birth to my daughter 3 months ago. Towards the end of my pregnancy sex became too painful as I was extremely tight down there. Hubbie was v understanding and he didn't push it so we left it for the last few months. I learned to expect that it would be painful after having the baby, especially as I ended up having a difficult labour - episiotomy, 3rd degree tear due to baby being delivered by forceps.
I thankfully got the all clear at my 6 week check up, everything was healing nicely. At 8 weeks pp I said to hubby we should probably give this a go...and my god it was the most excruciating experience I've ever had. He couldn't even get the full thing in, to put it crudely!! We used a condom and lots of lube, didn't help. A couple of weeks later we tried again, minus a condom and again with lots of lube. After a few minutes of horrific pain and a lot of effort it finally went all the way in but again I literally couldn't bare the pain so we had to stop. It was literally like i was being stabbed! I am really upset over it but am determined to not suffer in silence. I have been doing my pelvic floor exercises and on last check up physio said strength is at 3 out of 5 at the minute and scheduled a return visit.

I'm just wondering....WHO or WHERE do I turn to to try resolve this? A gynocologist? The hospital? A physio?? Should I get a referral? I'm too embarrassed to just start making phone calls to places and asking the receptionist do they treat people for painful sex! Can anyone please advise? Thanks in advance! X

coffeyt

Hi my first port of call would be to your own gp and see what she or he thinks. I had a recent check up last week and my own doctor commented on how extensive my scarring was over 2 years since my episotomy and for the first year afterwards I did experience slightly painful twinges depending on the angle of entry but nothing like what you are experiencing. A friend of mine however did have a similar experience to you a good few years back and she put off speaking to anyone for a few years. When eventually she went to her gp it turned out that the stitching had basically been done incorrectly and she was tighter because of it. It was a fairly simple day procedure to get remedied and she has had no issues since so it can happen and definitely worth going to your gp for a referral.

Edit to add just also bear in mind 8 weeks is still early if you had a lot of stitches. You are much braver than me I waited twice that long and the initial entry was a bit painful but not bad (kind of like my first time all over again) Although on my second I only had a slight tear and two stitches so was happy to try about 4 weeks later and had no problem.

ladybird111

Thanks so much, hubbie did comment that the opening felt extremely tight alright. The stupid thing is I actually have never had a check up like that with my gp, I don't think she likes doing them or something, tends to avoid going down that route at all. I always go to the Well Woman clinic for my smears etc, I suppose I could make an appointment with the doctor there? I really appreciate the advice, even though the thought of my stitches being done incorrectly makes me feel weak!

coffeyt

My friend was the same, I think that's why she waited so long before doing anything about it. But honestly it can be remedied easier the quicker you get it checked, that's if there even is a problem and I know from speaking to her afterwards she was delighted she got it sorted as the lack of a sex life was really getting her down. They had basically stopped even trying as it was too painful for her. She said it was like a second lease of life afterwards. As I said in edit though it could just be a little early but I'd get it checked sooner than later for your own peace of mind.

rainbow kirby

It may be worth as well seeing a physio that specialises in pelvic floor issues.

In my experience it's all crap until at least 6 months out from giving birth anyway, and that was with almost no damage downstairs.

ladybird111

yes I'm due to go back to the physio in the hospital next week so I could ask her for advice too. Do you know is there independent physios who would specialise in that area? From my experience so far they generally only seem to worry about continance issues, which thankfully for me I have been fine with. It's pretty astounding they don't warn you that you may encounter sexual issues after the birth! Only that you need to do your exercises! The only information I have gotten is online, thank god for the internet!!

I definitely wouldn't be expecting fireworks for the first 6 months but I would expect to physically be able to do it and for it to get a little bit better each time. The way I am now the "insertion" is next to impossible never mind going any further.

IvyTheTerrible

After my first child it was 6 months before sex was pain free. Take llllloooootttts of time.

ladybird111

Thanks. If I knew things would definitely get better after 6 months I guess I wouldn't mind waiting. I'm just not sure how they will...should your body just loosen out or something? Hubbie says at the moment everything feels so tight and for me it feels more than that, like there is internal trapped nerves or something! It's more than an uncomfortable feeling, it's a very sharp pain, quite hard to describe and most definitely not like my "first time"

beans

There's a wee surgical procedure that's quite common in cases like this, the name of the procedure escapes me but might be worth considering. GP should be able to tell you more.

It's called a Fenton's procedure. Just came to me.

ladybird111

beans wrote: »

There's a wee surgical procedure that's quite common in cases like this, the name of the procedure escapes me but might be worth considering. GP should be able to tell you more.

It's called a Fenton's procedure. Just came to me.

Many thanks for this, I'll look into it!