No point starting anything new now-advice???

thepikminman

Hi,

I've just turned 23, I think I'm in a very strange period of my life mentally. Still in college, but I find my ambition and willpower are withering away into laziness because of failures and, mainly, how quickly my goals change. That's the main reason for this post;

How can I go full-force, trying my hardest at starting something new when I could be completely bored of it in a few weeks?

It's happened before, I wanted to be a musician, so I spent most of the money I had on instruments etc over a 2 year period. Now I've realized I'm not actually that interested in music and have wasted all that time and money on something now pointless to me in the long run, when if I could've been using those resources to improve myself in something that will last my whole life.

See now I was thinking of trying something new, writing, because I really want to at the moment. But I'm put off by the idea because I already wasted so much time, am getting older and older, and maybe I'll be wasting my time on this too. How can I be sure it's for me and not waste for time?

(Just a note: Those two things, music and writing were just examples, in reality they weren't those specific things but I'm just choosing them to get my point across.)

Any advice?? BTW I'm talking about career paths and places I want to succeed in, not hobbies

Big Bag of Chips

I'd hardly call just turned 23 getting old! You'll find people an awful lot older than you who take up various hobbies and never end up going too far with them. I think you are focusing on making these hobbies your job rather than just treating them as hobbies and that way you're putting too much pressure on yourself to follow through with them. The pressure is in turn turning you off what should be enjoyable. Very few people make a career out of music (for example) but the numbers of people who enjoy playing music as a hobby is huge!!

Maybe join a group or take up an evening course in whatever it is you'd like to do and just do it for the enjoyment, for the social aspect and see what happens. You may never continue once the classes/group finishes it, but what harm.

Not everyone has something they are passionate about.

zoobizoo

Thing is, no experience is a waste.

It also means that you are figuring out the things that do interest you more.

It's like going out with someone - you see them for a few months, you decide that you are not compatible, you split up and move on. All your relationship experiences will help you find the right person for you.

We all do things that don't last. We study something in college and end up workign in different industries. We transform and develop as we age.




BTW - the two topics you picked, music and writing, why didn't you say what you did take up and then give up? People might be able to relate to your issue better if you say what you actually gave up.

thepikminman

zoobizoo wrote: »

Thing is, no experience is a waste.

It also means that you are figuring out the things that do interest you more.

It's like going out with someone - you see them for a few months, you decide that you are not compatible, you split up and move on. All your relationship experiences will help you find the right person for you.

We all do things that don't last. We study something in college and end up workign in different industries. We transform and develop as we age.




BTW - the two topics you picked, music and writing, why didn't you say what you did take up and then give up? People might be able to relate to your issue better if you say what you actually gave up.

Thanks for the reply! I didn't put what I actually did take up because there are so many of them and I didn't want people to get into the specifics of each thing, I just wanted general advice on not knowing where to go next if I can't be sure of my intentions.

thepikminman

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I'd hardly call just turned 23 getting old! You'll find people an awful lot older than you who take up various hobbies and never end up going too far with them. I think you are focusing on making these hobbies your job rather than just treating them as hobbies and that way you're putting too much pressure on yourself to follow through with them. The pressure is in turn turning you off what should be enjoyable. Very few people make a career out of music (for example) but the numbers of people who enjoy playing music as a hobby is huge!!

Maybe join a group or take up an evening course in whatever it is you'd like to do and just do it for the enjoyment, for the social aspect and see what happens. You may never continue once the classes/group finishes it, but what harm.

Not everyone has something they are passionate about.

That is true, experience is good no matter what really. But I suppose I am talking about career choices more than hobbies. Yeah, I should have said that in the OP

Eric Cartman

thepikminman wrote: »

Hi,

I've just turned 23, I think I'm in a very strange period of my life mentally. Still in college, but I find my ambition and willpower are withering away into laziness because of failures and, mainly, how quickly my goals change. That's the main reason for this post;

How can I go full-force, trying my hardest at starting something new when I could be completely bored of it in a few weeks?

It's happened before, I wanted to be a musician, so I spent most of the money I had on instruments etc over a 2 year period. Now I've realized I'm not actually that interested in music and have wasted all that time and money on something now pointless to me in the long run, when if I could've been using those resources to improve myself in something that will last my whole life.

See now I was thinking of trying something new, writing, because I really want to at the moment. But I'm put off by the idea because I already wasted so much time, am getting older and older, and maybe I'll be wasting my time on this too. How can I be sure it's for me and not waste for time?

(Just a note: Those two things, music and writing were just examples, in reality they weren't those specific things but I'm just choosing them to get my point across.)

Any advice?? BTW I'm talking about career paths and places I want to succeed in, not hobbies

Pick a career with a relative degree of success for people , I'm sorry but music and writing are hobbies that turn into careers for some. (sadly the same lately for graphic design, photography and journalism)

Do you have any interest in IT, economics, accountancy, electrician, plumbing etc…

Cupcake_Crisis

For what it's worth op I started studying for what would be my career when I was 24 (after a couple of failed attempts) so I wouldn't be worrying about age just yet.

thepikminman

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Pick a career with a relative degree of success for people , I'm sorry but music and writing are hobbies that turn into careers for some. (sadly the same lately for graphic design, photography and journalism)

Do you have any interest in IT, economics, accountancy, electrician, plumbing etc…

Well I'm doing mechanical engineering right now and am in 3rd year.... I do have an interest in it but I look at my older siblings who have degrees in computer science and medicine - they originally had an huge interest in those fields, but they hate their jobs now because weren't anything like they expected, like most careers.

I'm starting to think college is just a scam where the media and the government are tricking people into doing horrible, badly needed jobs, by making it seems like college is so great and the careers are so interesting, when in reality, it's a waste of life.

thepikminman

Cupcake_Crisis wrote: »

For what it's worth op I started studying for what would be my career when I was 24 (after a couple of failed attempts) so I wouldn't be worrying about age just yet.

Did it end up being the right career for you? Do you enjoy it? I'm curious because I have yet to meet someone in real life who enjoys what they do.

What is your career if you don't mind me asking?

LegacyUser

I moved into my career at nearly 30 after arsing around most of my 20s. Went back to college at 32 to get the masters/piece of paper in it.

I couldn't think straight until I was about 30.

My only regret is thinking I was older when I was younger. With each passing year I looked back longingly on 23 24 25 26.

I too dreamed of a music career. Actually sort of put a few albums out. I now much prefer my day job.

You'll get there eventually just keep on it!

Nichololas

Time you enjoy wasting isn't wasted.

Most people don't work at their passion, they do a job for money and if they're lucky they have a job they can find some level of enjoyment in. If your passion is corporate accountancy then you're set, but in all likelihood what you find yourself really passionate about is something that doesn't pay well (or at all) and you'll have to work very, very hard at and garner a moderate amount of luck to make a career out of it.

Luckily you're only 23 and have plenty of time to experiment and fail/succeed at various things without serious repercussions (see opening line). There is of course no way to tell which ones you will be wasting your time with (did someone once tell you life would be easy?), the best you can do is be open and willing to try new things.

Cupcake_Crisis

thepikminman wrote: »

Did it end up being the right career for you? Do you enjoy it? I'm curious because I have yet to meet someone in real life who enjoys what they do.

What is your career if you don't mind me asking?

I'm a beautician.

It's something that I'd wanted to get into for a while but life would just get in the way. My qualifications enabled me to leave Ireland and land a job in Toronto in an award winning salon. I'll be returning to Ireland later in the year to take up a teaching position with the company I trained with which was always the goal. So yeah, best thing I ever did tbh.

Big Bag of Chips

thepikminman wrote: »

I'm starting to think college is just a scam where the media and the government are tricking people into doing horrible, badly needed jobs, by making it seems like college is so great and the careers are so interesting, when in reality, it's a waste of life.

What's a waste of a life? Working? How else do expect to be able to afford to live and buy things you like if you don't work and earn money? People are being tricked into doing horrible badly needed jobs? Many jobs are badly needed, it doesn't make them horrible. In every sector in the world you will find a mix of people who enjoy their work and those who hate it. I've met people in the medical profession who are wonderful people, who love what they do and who often go above what they need to to make life easier for the people and the families they care for. It's not a nice job, it's a very difficult and often times stressful job, but some people are made for it, others aren't. I was in IT, I hated it. Used to cry on a Sunday night at the thought of another week. My brother is in IT and can't get enough of it. The government and media can't be held responsible for people picking the wrong courses! I picked the wrong course in college because my brother advised me.. on what HE loved. I knew applying for it I wouldn't be mad about it. I got it. Did it. Got a job and then left it!

Jobs need to be done, and people need to work. Some people are passionate about their work and work at their "hobby" and can't believe their luck that they are paid to do something they love. Others work instead job to get money to live and provide for their families. Some careers are interesting. Some aren't. But it all depends on what you're interested in. My friend worked as a postwoman for a while and she said it was the most wonderful, amazing and interesting job she ever had. She loved every minute of it. I known people who drive for a living and love it. I know others who've tried it and just couldn't deal with it at all.

You need to find a job. That could be an admin assistant, a postman, a programmer, a bus driver, an accountant, a solicitor, a waiter, a chef, a geologist, an architect, a personal trainer, an electrician, a hair dresser.. anything. You might not love the work, but then again you might find yourself quite happy in what you do. College isn't for everyone. And maybe if you don't know what career you want, you could try getting a trade somewhere. Maybe you'll find you're better suited to work than study?

Eric Cartman

you work so you can afford to live a life you enjoy. If everyone could make money doing fun and easy things , they would, but you cant. Is there anything that you'd actually like to do that pays money to a lot of people ?

Ursus Horribilis

thepikminman wrote: »

Did it end up being the right career for you? Do you enjoy it? I'm curious because I have yet to meet someone in real life who enjoys what they do.

How do you define "enjoy"? I sometimes wonder have people got unrealistic expectations about what a career entails. While I'm sure there are people out there who get to live the dream, I have a feeling that for most people, they're in a job that's OK but doesn't necessarily get their pulses racing.

I mostly enjoy my job and it interests me. I like the people I work with too which I consider to be very important. Having said that, there are days when it frustrates me. Days when I'm bored. Days when I'd rather be anywhere else than sat at my desk. Mostly though, I'm happy enough. I don't expect the job to entertain me though. Every second Thursday, my bank account is replenished with new €€€ and that's what it's all about ultimately. It funds my life outside of work and that's where I'd rather find my passions.

In my opinion, getting 18 and 19 year olds to make career decisions is a big ask. What does your average secondary school teenager know about holding down a proper job, responsibilities, working with other people etc? I've a suspicion that if you put a CAO form in front of most 30/40somethings and asked them to fill in the courses they'd like to do if they were 18 again, they'd pick different ones to what they originally chose. I know loads of people who've changed careers from their mid-twenties onwards. I think when you get to your mid twenties and have worked for a while, you sort your sh!t out (for want of a better phrase). You then get a better idea of who you are, what your strengths and weaknesses are, what you like and don't like and perhaps what other direction you'd like to move in.

Perhaps your comment about university being a government scam is born out of idealism. Any job is hell if you're not suited to it and that's what you need to bear in mind here. Also, you are one of the lucky people. When you go job-hunting, you're not going to be scrabbling around in the minimum wage sector. Ultimately, being an engineer might not be your thing but it's still going to stop you cleaning toilets and asking people if they want fries with that.

thepikminman

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

What's a waste of a life? Working? How else do expect to be able to afford to live and buy things you like if you don't work and earn money? People are being tricked into doing horrible badly needed jobs? Many jobs are badly needed, it doesn't make them horrible. In every sector in the world you will find a mix of people who enjoy their work and those who hate it. I've met people in the medical profession who are wonderful people, who love what they do and who often go above what they need to to make life easier for the people and the families they care for. It's not a nice job, it's a very difficult and often times stressful job, but some people are made for it, others aren't. I was in IT, I hated it. Used to cry on a Sunday night at the thought of another week. My brother is in IT and can't get enough of it. The government and media can't be held responsible for people picking the wrong courses! I picked the wrong course in college because my brother advised me.. on what HE loved. I knew applying for it I wouldn't be mad about it. I got it. Did it. Got a job and then left it!

Jobs need to be done, and people need to work. Some people are passionate about their work and work at their "hobby" and can't believe their luck that they are paid to do something they love. Others work instead job to get money to live and provide for their families. Some careers are interesting. Some aren't. But it all depends on what you're interested in. My friend worked as a postwoman for a while and she said it was the most wonderful, amazing and interesting job she ever had. She loved every minute of it. I known people who drive for a living and love it. I know others who've tried it and just couldn't deal with it at all.

You need to find a job. That could be an admin assistant, a postman, a programmer, a bus driver, an accountant, a solicitor, a waiter, a chef, a geologist, an architect, a personal trainer, an electrician, a hair dresser.. anything. You might not love the work, but then again you might find yourself quite happy in what you do. College isn't for everyone. And maybe if you don't know what career you want, you could try getting a trade somewhere. Maybe you'll find you're better suited to work than study?

I agree, some people love their jobs, just like some people become successful musicians and some people win the lottery. But it's a very small percentage of people who do. Like I said, I've never met one person who doesn't despise their job.

That's what I mean by the government and media glamorizing jobs by showing us the rare people who do enjoy them and who have interesting jobs.

I chose engineering because I love making things work/seeing how things work and I love maths, but now I'm in third year and I'm realizing that I'll probably end up sitting at a desk crunching numbers all day to find out the efficiency of some refrigerator coolant or something meaningless (to me) like that. That's when I give the big middle finger to the media and society for making me assume the best of college.

thepikminman

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

What's a waste of a life? Working? How else do expect to be able to afford to live and buy things you like if you don't work and earn money? People are being tricked into doing horrible badly needed jobs? Many jobs are badly needed, it doesn't make them horrible.

Just because it's a necessity in our society doesn't mean it's not a waste of life. Yes, you need a job to buy things and live....but if you got paid 100k a year to stare at a wall for 10 hours a day, that would still be a waste of life.

And by horrible I meant tedious, hard work with very little enjoyment. If the government and the media told us "you will need to study very hard for 4 years and you'll most likely end up doing a job you hate" (i.e. the truth) how many people do you think would go to college? Not many. Society and the human race would be pathetic. So the logical thing for them to do is make it seem like getting a degree makes you a more "valuable" person and is very respectable, and show us the rare cases where people are having fun doing interesting things.

thepikminman

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

How do you define "enjoy"? I sometimes wonder have people got unrealistic expectations about what a career entails. While I'm sure there are people out there who get to live the dream, I have a feeling that for most people, they're in a job that's OK but doesn't necessarily get their pulses racing.

I mostly enjoy my job and it interests me. I like the people I work with too which I consider to be very important. Having said that, there are days when it frustrates me. Days when I'm bored. Days when I'd rather be anywhere else than sat at my desk. Mostly though, I'm happy enough. I don't expect the job to entertain me though. Every second Thursday, my bank account is replenished with new €€€ and that's what it's all about ultimately. It funds my life outside of work and that's where I'd rather find my passions.

In my opinion, getting 18 and 19 year olds to make career decisions is a big ask. What does your average secondary school teenager know about holding down a proper job, responsibilities, working with other people etc? I've a suspicion that if you put a CAO form in front of most 30/40somethings and asked them to fill in the courses they'd like to do if they were 18 again, they'd pick different ones to what they originally chose. I know loads of people who've changed careers from their mid-twenties onwards. I think when you get to your mid twenties and have worked for a while, you sort your sh!t out (for want of a better phrase). You then get a better idea of who you are, what your strengths and weaknesses are, what you like and don't like and perhaps what other direction you'd like to move in.

Perhaps your comment about university being a government scam is born out of idealism. Any job is hell if you're not suited to it and that's what you need to bear in mind here. Also, you are one of the lucky people. When you go job-hunting, you're not going to be scrabbling around in the minimum wage sector. Ultimately, being an engineer might not be your thing but it's still going to stop you cleaning toilets and asking people if they want fries with that.

It wasn't born out of idealism, I thought about it logically.

If I was the sole controller of the human race and I had to decide how to advance mankind the best way possible, I'd do exactly what i said the government/media do - I'd think "wow, there's a lot of tough, unenjoyable work that I'll need them to do...Hmm....I know! I'll make out college as the best thing to do in the media and society, and (like you said) I'll get young 17/18 year olds who haven't got a clue to choose their life-changing career paths. All I need to do is dangle the hope of having a good life in front of them, even though it will mostly never happen - if "everyone" (whoever that is) wants to go to college, every person will want to go. God these humans are too easy to manipulate"

Honestly, that's what I'd do and I'm sure that's what they do. We're all being fooled here...even the "smart" ("yeah, he's in college he must be smart, because being smart is a good thing") people in college, myself included.

Also, I'd add a chemical that calms people down to all water sources so that people don't catch on and they stay focused on what they think they should be doing because everyone else seems to be. Oh wait, the government did that already! (fluorine, look it up guys).

That makes sense to make the human race advance right? They're sharp alright, but I don't want to be part of this wool-measuring contest.

Ursus Horribilis

Out of curiosity, are you looking for advice or just venting?

thepikminman

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Out of curiosity, are you looking for advice or just venting?

Both really, not expecting life changing answers but am hoping that someone might help

Big Bag of Chips

What help are you looking for? You obviously have a very clear idea about the ways and workings of the world and it doesn't sound like anything anyone says will change it. For the record I do not believe EVERYONE you know DESPISES their job. That sounds like the over exaggeration of a petulant teenager trying to convince their parents that EVERYONE is doing something that they want to do.

For balance, even though you don't know me, I hated my first job out of college. I left and started working in a job I loved. Still in IT but a different area and I absolutely loved my job. For 10 years I loved going in to work every day. Often staying behind late, unpaid, to help someone with something. I eventually left that job for various reasons and now work part-time occasionally and I love the job I do. My husband really enjoys his job. I wouldn't say he loves it, but he definitely doesn't despise it.

I would actually think a very small percentage of people despise their job. You are in control of your life. If you want to work in a particular area of a particular field it is up to you to go get that for yourself. Nobody is going to knock on your door and hand you your dream job. You've been given a world class education, what you do with it after that is down to you. My cousin did engineering in college and he is now in Los Angeles, not testing refrigerators! But he didn't go straight to LA from college. He started at the bottom and worked his way up. College is just one type of education. You need to also build up life experience and work experience. No matter how much you think you know leaving college, you won't have the experience of someone 10-15 years working in the industry. And you'll need to prove yourself to your employers by starting from the start.

At just turned 23 you've obviously very little life experience and I'd guess your parents have been good parents to you and have helped you out as much as they can to give you things you needed and wanted. There comes a time in your life when people stop giving you things you want and you need to go get them for yourself. Stamping your foot and throwing a strop isn't going to get you your dream job.... Just sayin'!

fizzypish

You'll never know if you like the career your in until you do it for a period of time. You just have to roll the dice.

thepikminman

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

What help are you looking for? You obviously have a very clear idea about the ways and workings of the world and it doesn't sound like anything anyone says will change it. For the record I do not believe EVERYONE you know DESPISES their job. That sounds like the over exaggeration of a petulant teenager trying to convince their parents that EVERYONE is doing something that they want to do.

For balance, even though you don't know me, I hated my first job out of college. I left and started working in a job I loved. Still in IT but a different area and I absolutely loved my job. For 10 years I loved going in to work every day. Often staying behind late, unpaid, to help someone with something. I eventually left that job for various reasons and now work part-time occasionally and I love the job I do. My husband really enjoys his job. I wouldn't say he loves it, but he definitely doesn't despise it.

I would actually think a very small percentage of people despise their job. You are in control of your life. If you want to work in a particular area of a particular field it is up to you to go get that for yourself. Nobody is going to knock on your door and hand you your dream job. You've been given a world class education, what you do with it after that is down to you. My cousin did engineering in college and he is now in Los Angeles, not testing refrigerators! But he didn't go straight to LA from college. He started at the bottom and worked his way up. College is just one type of education. You need to also build up life experience and work experience. No matter how much you think you know leaving college, you won't have the experience of someone 10-15 years working in the industry. And you'll need to prove yourself to your employers by starting from the start.

At just turned 23 you've obviously very little life experience and I'd guess your parents have been good parents to you and have helped you out as much as they can to give you things you needed and wanted. There comes a time in your life when people stop giving you things you want and you need to go get them for yourself. Stamping your foot and throwing a strop isn't going to get you your dream job.... Just sayin'!

A world class education? See, that's where I see the brainwashing coming in. Is it really world class, seeing as anyone with a brain can get it, pretty easily? We're made to believe it's world class and that we're so lucky just so we do these horrible jobs that otherwise wouldn't be done.

And yes, I honestly haven't met anyone who enjoys their job, and only a handful who don't despise it.

I don't have a clear idea of how the world works, I'm just saying what I think it seems to be, because over the past year or so I'm seeing people for the way they are - mindless, go-with-the-crowd, don't question anything. Yeah they have great memories and can learn how to do the tasks in their fields, but they haven't got a clue about the understanding behind it, and never question anything. Kind of off topic though...

And your last paragraph - no I haven't had good parents, or a good life financially. I come from a family of 9, we grew up in the roughest part of clondalkin, my dad was a drug addict who left us all randomly and never came back, so my mother raised us, on the dole. Never been on a holiday in my life, never even ordered a pizza until recently so how about you keep your irrational judgement to yourself?

With that said, I do agree with a lot of what you said, and thanks for your input (the non-judgmental parts anyway).

On a side note, look at every message on this thread, on boards, in the youtube comments, in articles. THEY'RE ALL WRITTEN THE SAME WAY (apart from my ones). EVERYONE JUST COPIES EACH OTHER, THEY DON'T THINK FOR THEMSELVES. That's why I have a hard time listening to people's advice, because I know in all likelihood it's not their advice, it's what they think they should be saying. Of course people won't agree with what I'm saying, that would disprove my point.

EDIT: I do appreciate all the responses though; thank you all for your intentions of helping, it's nice to know that there are good people out there.

thepikminman

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

What help are you looking for? You obviously have a very clear idea about the ways and workings of the world and it doesn't sound like anything anyone says will change it.

Oh and even if I was right about the way the world works, that still leaves me fecked because, brainwashing or not, I have no choice but to live in this society, and already I see that my way of thinking (again, true or untrue) has gotten me nowhere. You can see from the latter responses I've gotten on here that that way of thinking doesn't gel well with people. And people are life, so I have no choice but to take part. I'm not social enough to fight the system. I just wish people were more open-minded.

And I just think it's good to question the system sometimes, not just mindlessly follow everyone else.

mrsdewinter

I dunno, OP. You come here looking for advice & when somebody suggests that you change your mindset, you go off on one.
The truth is, you'll never have as much freedom & choice as you do right now, if only you could see that. (By the way, as somebody who works in the media, your faith in the media and - lol!!! - the govt to effectively brainwash anybody is... sweet.)
But if I was in your position, I'd read Mr Money Mustache's blog. He was a well-paid engineer who - like yourself - knew how to work hard & had discipline. He used various well-paid jobs to gain financial independence in his 30s & now he devotes his time to projects he likes. Used his 20s to make money & find out more about his real passions in life.

Big Bag of Chips

thepikminman wrote: »

Never been on a holiday in my life, never even ordered a pizza until recently so how about you keep your irrational judgement to yourself?

First time I was on a plane I was 22 and paid for it myself. First time I ordered a pizza to be delivered would have been around the same time. Not everyone has a "privileged" upbringing. But not everyone has a chip on their shoulder either.

thepikminman

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

First time I was on a plane I was 22 and paid for it myself. First time I ordered a pizza to be delivered would have been around the same time. Not everyone has a "privileged" upbringing. But not everyone has a chip on their shoulder either.

This isn't a "who's the poorest" competition, you said you're somehow sure I had a great life where I got everything handed to me, and I explained how that's not true. That's not what caused the chip on my shoulder. People being sheep did that

Big Bag of Chips

I never mentioned I was poor. So I'm not trying to compete with you. But your life is what YOU make it, and if you want to sit around bemoaning the world and all it hasn't offered you, good luck to you.

Lots of people can't afford to go to college. Yet at least 3 of your mother's children have. So I'm guessing you have had more support than you appreciate.

Edit: And if you're that resilient that you managed to get to this point in your life with zero help and support from your mother then surely you'll have the resilience to further your career in the direction you want.

By the way, my husband grew up in a rough North Side area of Dublin. The only one from his family to go to 3rd level education. Some of his family would still give out about life/work how unfair it is that they don't get handed (enough) free stuff. He didn't want to be part of that life. He wanted better for himself and his life. So he moved away from the place and the people and the mentality, and sought out better for himself. He is the only one of his family to have moved out of the area. His parents and 5 siblings all live within a 1 mile radius of each other. And now he's happy. Happy in his life. Happy in his job. Nobody handed him ANYTHING. Ever.

Ursus Horribilis

My parents both left school at 14, a few short years before the free secondary education came along. Because they never even got the Inter Cert, they spent their lives working hard in jobs that were well below what they could've had if circumstances were different. For as long as I can remember, my dad had to get up for work at 6am every morning and had a physically demanding job. My mum had to work in factories and other not so nice jobs. I never once heard either one complain but it made me appreciate the opportunities that came my way. Because myself and my siblings had the chance to go on to university, we now have jobs and lifestyles they could only have dreamed about. I don't know what you're on about when you talk about these awful jobs that lie in store for people who attend university. It's a matter of finding the job that suits you and being proactive. Quite frankly, if this is your attitude going forward, you're in for a rough ride.

Eric Cartman

I was in a similar situation to you, I did 1 and a bit years of electronics engineering in college and dropped out. I thought it was all going to be building things and designing and all the fun of being an engineer, but it was number crunching and going to lead to a desk job in the same place number crunching, the point at which I broke was when I was in an electronics lab and the instructor made a joke about people putting circuits in breadboard , that it was going to be "so much tougher when they had to learn to solder in 3rd year" ....a skill I had since age 8. At the time I was missing lectures to fit car stereos for builders who had all bought nice cars in boom time Ireland , I was making Up to 1000 week (rare few weeks but was happening) as a student doing this for a few hours a day, I love cars so getting to work on them was exciting.

After I dropped out I realised that becoming a mechanic or fitting stereos full time was not what I wanted to do, but I wanted to have money for cars and other nice things , so I had some IT skills, taught myself some more using the internet and books , and for the past almost decade ive run a company providing IT services.

I get to stay in bed till 9am most days, have a fleet of cars I wanted, go on holidays a few times a year to places I want to go, I go to all the concerts and things that I want to go see, Im genuinely happy, don't have to listen to anyone and not confined to one desk every day, but in exchange for that I work 80 hours a week, have to miss some nights out and I could have to fly off to some other country to close a deal or do some work at a moments notice, a lot of people on the surface of it would hate that, but when you love every time you win / solve a problem / close a deal, you can truly love your work and be happy every day.

Find something you like and see how it generates money, or find something that you may not like, but pays very well so that every second you're not doing that work you can do things you really dolike.

TLDR :
No able bodied capable person should not work, take it that workingfor money is an absolute requirement of life, just find the way of doing that that you either like, or pisses you off the least, but even if something looks hard on the surface (80 hours, not home all the time etc...) it might actually be a lot of fun if you give it a go for a while

blairbear

Honestly OP, your posts sound very, very naive.

Not every moment of life is supposed to be spent in hedonistic pursuit of happiness, fulfillment and enjoyment. That would breed a very selfish and self-serving society.

It's called a job for a reason. If we all had unbridled craic every day, we'd call it "going to fun" not going to work.

For the record, I'm a doctor. I absolutely adore my job. It is very difficult at times and the furthest thing from enjoyable but I love knowing that I'm doing something to benefit others with my life.

It's not ALL about making yourself happy.

Big Bag of Chips

thepikminman wrote: »

Is it really world class, seeing as anyone with a brain can get it, pretty easily?

Yes, it is world class. A good qualification will be recognised all over the world. Anyone with a brain can get it pretty easily? Do you know the drop out rates of college?! Anyone with a brain, a bit of interest and the ability to stick with something for the length of time it takes to complete, can get one.

You seem to be confusing 'privileged' and 'world class' with 'Elite'.

In comparison to your upbringing, mine was 'privileged'. In comparison to my upbringing someone else was 'privileged' and on and on it goes. There will always be someone 'more privileged' than you. All that matters is what you want, what you're happy with and how you make that happen for yourself. Then other people's lives and what they do or have doesn't matter to you.

Big Bag of Chips

My last point, if you genuinely are looking for advice:

Get out of the area you are in. Get away from the people who are dragging you down and influencing your thoughts. Get away from people who moan about working and despising their jobs. Get away from that mind set. Talk to successful people, people who have achieved something they are proud of. People who are proud of themselves.

Someone who is proud of themselves doesn't necessarily have to be earning €100k+ a year! Someone earning €30k doing something they are genuinely happy with and proud would be equally good to hear from.

I work part-time on a temporary basis, very occasionally. Last year I earned €6000 covering someone's leave. This year I'll make €2000 tops. I don't work because I need the money. My "day job" is a stay at home mother. I work because I genuinely enjoy the work. Genuinely! I love getting the call to ask me to come in because someone is sick!!

thepikminman

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

My parents both left school at 14, a few short years before the free secondary education came along. Because they never even got the Inter Cert, they spent their lives working hard in jobs that were well below what they could've had if circumstances were different. For as long as I can remember, my dad had to get up for work at 6am every morning and had a physically demanding job. My mum had to work in factories and other not so nice jobs. I never once heard either one complain but it made me appreciate the opportunities that came my way. Because myself and my siblings had the chance to go on to university, we now have jobs and lifestyles they could only have dreamed about. I don't know what you're on about when you talk about these awful jobs that lie in store for people who attend university. It's a matter of finding the job that suits you and being proactive. Quite frankly, if this is your attitude going forward, you're in for a rough ride.

So basically you got an easy ride? Well good for you, thanks for that.... and yes, I agree, I will be in for a rough ride with my attitude, but that doesn't mean it's not justified

thepikminman

blairbear wrote: »

Honestly OP, your posts sound very, very naive.

Not every moment of life is supposed to be spent in hedonistic pursuit of happiness, fulfillment and enjoyment. That would breed a very selfish and self-serving society.

It's called a job for a reason. If we all had unbridled craic every day, we'd call it "going to fun" not going to work.

For the record, I'm a doctor. I absolutely adore my job. It is very difficult at times and the furthest thing from enjoyable but I love knowing that I'm doing something to benefit others with my life.

It's not ALL about making yourself happy.

Yeah I'm sure you're dong it for that reason, not for the money or the glory.... if you are then I really wish there were more people like you, but it's extremely unlike that you're not.

thepikminman

Eric Cartman wrote: »

I was in a similar situation to you, I did 1 and a bit years of electronics engineering in college and dropped out. I thought it was all going to be building things and designing and all the fun of being an engineer, but it was number crunching and going to lead to a desk job in the same place number crunching, the point at which I broke was when I was in an electronics lab and the instructor made a joke about people putting circuits in breadboard , that it was going to be "so much tougher when they had to learn to solder in 3rd year" ....a skill I had since age 8. At the time I was missing lectures to fit car stereos for builders who had all bought nice cars in boom time Ireland , I was making Up to 1000 week (rare few weeks but was happening) as a student doing this for a few hours a day, I love cars so getting to work on them was exciting.

After I dropped out I realised that becoming a mechanic or fitting stereos full time was not what I wanted to do, but I wanted to have money for cars and other nice things , so I had some IT skills, taught myself some more using the internet and books , and for the past almost decade ive run a company providing IT services.

I get to stay in bed till 9am most days, have a fleet of cars I wanted, go on holidays a few times a year to places I want to go, I go to all the concerts and things that I want to go see, Im genuinely happy, don't have to listen to anyone and not confined to one desk every day, but in exchange for that I work 80 hours a week, have to miss some nights out and I could have to fly off to some other country to close a deal or do some work at a moments notice, a lot of people on the surface of it would hate that, but when you love every time you win / solve a problem / close a deal, you can truly love your work and be happy every day.

Find something you like and see how it generates money, or find something that you may not like, but pays very well so that every second you're not doing that work you can do things you really dolike.

TLDR :
No able bodied capable person should not work, take it that workingfor money is an absolute requirement of life, just find the way of doing that that you either like, or pisses you off the least, but even if something looks hard on the surface (80 hours, not home all the time etc...) it might actually be a lot of fun if you give it a go for a while

TBH I don't really care about money as long as I can survive. It sickens me to see people buying so much excess things that aren't needed just for their own shallow enjoyment when there are people starving to death. People carry around enough excess chocolate around their waists to feed a small family. So anyway, I don't care about the money.

But you've made me realise, damn....life is f-ing sh*t, ESPECIALLY if you hate people....damn....what now.....

thepikminman

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

My last point, if you genuinely are looking for advice:

Get out of the area you are in. Get away from the people who are dragging you down and influencing your thoughts. Get away from people who moan about working and despising their jobs. Get away from that mind set. Talk to successful people, people who have achieved something they are proud of. People who are proud of themselves.

Someone who is proud of themselves doesn't necessarily have to be earning €100k+ a year! Someone earning €30k doing something they are genuinely happy with and proud would be equally good to hear from.

I work part-time on a temporary basis, very occasionally. Last year I earned €6000 covering someone's leave. This year I'll make €2000 tops. I don't work because I need the money. My "day job" is a stay at home mother. I work because I genuinely enjoy the work. Genuinely! I love getting the call to ask me to come in because someone is sick!!

Thanks, I'll try that

Eric Cartman

thepikminman wrote: »

TBH I don't really care about money as long as I can survive. It sickens me to see people buying so much excess things that aren't needed just for their own shallow enjoyment when there are people starving to death. People carry around enough excess chocolate around their waists to feed a small family. So anyway, I don't care about the money.

But you've made me realise, damn....life is f-ing sh*t, ESPECIALLY if you hate people....damn....what now.....

"How can I help the poor if I'm one of them, So I got rich and gave back , to me thats a win-win" - Jay Z

You seem to be a passionate humanitarian / or a delusional socialist , not aure which ha

But you see these problems in the world, how bout doing that, make money to donate and volounteer , make that your lifes work

blairbear

thepikminman wrote: »

Yeah I'm sure you're dong it for that reason, not for the money or the glory.... if you are then I really wish there were more people like you, but it's extremely unlike that you're not.

You're just being nasty to people who are posting trying to help you. You seem highly unpleasant.

Wesser

thepikminman wrote: »

blairbear wrote: »

Honestly OP, your posts sound very, very naive.

Not every moment of life is supposed to be spent in hedonistic pursuit of happiness, fulfillment and enjoyment. That would breed a very selfish and self-serving society.

It's called a job for a reason. If we all had unbridled craic every day, we'd call it "going to fun" not going to work.

For the record, I'm a doctor. I absolutely adore my job. It is very difficult at times and the furthest thing from enjoyable but I love knowing that I'm doing something to benefit others with my life.

It's not ALL about making yourself happy.

Yeah I'm sure you're dong it for that reason, not for the money or the glory.... if you are then I really wish there were more people like you, but it's extremely unlike that you're not.

Jesus Christ that is a horrible thing to say. Why would you doubt him / her!!!???

Ursus Horribilis

I took a look at the OP's posting history on boards and I've come to the conclusion that no thread on a internet forum will solve his many issues.

blairbear

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

I took a look at the OP's posting history on boards and I've come to the conclusion that no thread on a internet forum will solve his many issues.

As did I. This is perhaps off topic, but his posts to date demonstrate an angry, foul-mouthed, abusive, sexist young man who seems to despise everyone he meets and thinks nobody knows anything but him.

OP, you're only posting to have a rant at us. Good luck.

thepikminman

blairbear wrote: »

As did I. This is perhaps off topic, but his posts to date demonstrate an angry, foul-mouthed, abusive, sexist young man who seems to despise everyone he meets and thinks nobody knows anything but him.

OP, you're only posting to have a rant at us. Good luck.

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

I took a look at the OP's posting history on boards and I've come to the conclusion that no thread on a internet forum will solve his many issues.

Angry and foul-mouthed - yes. Abusive and sexist - definitely not.

I think it's pretty funny that you both looked into my posts, I'm sure you were happy to see my "many issues".

I don't despise everyone that I meet, I despise everyone shallow and judgmental that I meet - which happens to be 99% of people.

People have treated me like crap all my life just because I'm a timid guy in real life and because I'm actually nice to people. They see it as a chance to attack and feel like they're in charge for once. My whole family, who know me best, know me as the kindest, most generous person they've met, and they're baffled at how people treat me, seemingly because of being a good person. That's what makes me hate people.

I'm not saying that good people are always hated, but I have the unfortunate combination of being timid and soft-spoken, but also having a strong opinion and my own way of thinking.

I know you guys were trying to help, and thanks for that. Thread closed.

Tokyo

thepikminman wrote: »

Never been on a holiday in my life, never even ordered a pizza until recently so how about you keep your irrational judgement to yourself?

thepikminman wrote: »

This isn't a "who's the poorest" competition, you said you're somehow sure I had a great life where I got everything handed to me, and I explained how that's not true. That's not what caused the chip on my shoulder. People being sheep did that

thepikminman wrote: »

So basically you got an easy ride? Well good for you, thanks for that.... and yes, I agree, I will be in for a rough ride with my attitude, but that doesn't mean it's not justified

Mod:

Okay OP, people are taking time out of their lives to respond to your issue, and that attitude simply isn't going to wash here. You are welcome to disagree with other posters point of view, but with that comes an expectation of respect.

I'm closing your thread. If you wish for it to be reopened, and can agree to be respectful to others here, message me or one of the other moderators here and we'll consider it.

<edit> Thread reopened. Please keep it civil.

blairbear

OP, re; your latest post, you have written several paragraphs explaining what a nice person you are, that your family confirms this and illustrate how nice you are to people every day.

You haven't been nice here.

You said a lot of rude things to posters and upset many of us. You told me that I could only possibly want to be a doctor for the money and the glory. You don't know me at all yet your first interaction with me was negative and abrasive. You assumed I had unpleasant, shallow intentions and berated me for them. You did similar to other posters.

OP, nice, kind, considerate people don't have to keep TELLING everyone how sound they are. It's obvious. Others can appreciate it. Your actions on this thread and boards in general are that of someone who is quick to temper and speaks before considering the impact on others. Some of this poor attitude must translate to real life. Your insight into how your actions and attitude portray you is poor here, and I suspect in real life too.

This is relevant because you won't find any manner of happiness in a career if you constantly seek to see the worst in others. If I assumed every person in pain who came into my emergency department was just drug seeking and probably had nothing wrong with them and just want to take advantage of me (as has happened on occasion before), I would be always miserable and angry at work. I have to always assume the best, while recalling previous experience and not being naive.

No career can make you happy or give fulfillment or make you feel worthwhile. You have to create that yourself. It is largely dependent on attitude and outlook. If you assign negative traits to people in life, with no evidence that they ring true, you will always be unhappy, frustrated and feel hard done by, regardless of career choice.

Big Bag of Chips

thepikminman wrote: »

My whole family, who know me best, know me as the kindest, most generous person they've met,

Not being smart, but if you're surrounded by people who are rude, aggressive, have a chip on their shoulder about working in horrible jobs they despise etc, then the bar is set pretty low for you to be the kindest most generous person they've met.

As you have seen from posting here, other people don't see you as that person, because people who took time to reply to you are surrounded by kind, generous people every day. They are surrounded by people who enjoy work and working. So your attitude and demeanour, whilst it might be at the top end of the scale in your area and circle of friends, it's pretty low down in other people's experience.

I'm genuinely not saying that to have a dig at you, by the way. We are all products of our upbringing and we are all influenced by the environmental factors surrounding us. While some people grow up surrounded by positive factors, others, you, grow up surrounded by negativity, suspicion and a feeling of being hard done by. Even the wording of your title "no point" doing anything! You're 23, you haven't even started a career yet and already you're saying there's no point in doing anything. Where's that coming from? People in their 50s go back to college to change or further their career!! So there's ALWAYS a point, if you are actually bothered. You have been given an opportunity through third level education to improve your life. Many people don't get that opportunity. Not everyone in the country lives on a bus route to a choice of colleges! You say we've all been brainwashed to believe the governments propaganda, I'd say you're the one that has been brainwashed by bitter, negative, entitled people who thinks we should be entitled to a good life for little or no effort and no work! Appreciate the opportunity you have been given and make life better for yourself. Other people's small minded opinions of you are irrelevant. The people you are surrounded by know no better than to moan about horrible jobs. You can stick around and be one of them for the next 60 years, or you can decide you don't want to be that.

thepikminman

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Not being smart, but if you're surrounded by people who are rude, aggressive, have a chip on their shoulder about working in horrible jobs they despise etc, then the bar is set pretty low for you to be the kindest most generous person they've met.

As you have seen from posting here, other people don't see you as that person, because people who took time to reply to you are surrounded by kind, generous people every day. They are surrounded by people who enjoy work and working. So your attitude and demeanour, whilst it might be at the top end of the scale in your area and circle of friends, it's pretty low down in other people's experience.

I'm genuinely not saying that to have a dig at you, by the way. We are all products of our upbringing and we are all influenced by the environmental factors surrounding us. While some people grow up surrounded by positive factors, others, you, grow up surrounded by negativity, suspicion and a feeling of being hard done by. Even the wording of your title "no point" doing anything! You're 23, you haven't even started a career yet and already you're saying there's no point in doing anything. Where's that coming from? People in their 50s go back to college to change or further their career!! So there's ALWAYS a point, if you are actually bothered. You have been given an opportunity through third level education to improve your life. Many people don't get that opportunity. Not everyone in the country lives on a bus route to a choice of colleges! You say we've all been brainwashed to believe the governments propaganda, I'd say you're the one that has been brainwashed by bitter, negative, entitled people who thinks we should be entitled to a good life for little or no effort and no work! Appreciate the opportunity you have been given and make life better for yourself. Other people's small minded opinions of you are irrelevant. The people you are surrounded by know no better than to moan about horrible jobs. You can stick around and be one of them for the next 60 years, or you can decide you don't want to be that.

You're assuming that my family are like me. They're not at all. They're extremely optimistic and love people.

You're also assuming that I act the way I act in this thread in real life. I don't at all. I'm excessively polite and shy in real life, because I don't want real life conflict to arise, and probably because I'm a coward.

Obviously the people on here see me as not a nice person, I don't blame them for that, I would think the exact same. But in reality, I know that I'm not. I say exactly my thoughts on here, and it obviously doesn't gel with people, so in real life I keep them to myself, but that causes people to walk all over me and treat me with no respect.

You guys all seem to have negative opinions about me and, like I said, fair enough - but at least you are treating me with respect because you can't see my shyness. In real life when I don't voice my opinion respect is the last thing I get literally 99% of the time from people.

Sorry, I have a strange habit of assuming everyone knows everything about me automatically for some reason.

Anyway, this cow seems to be milked dry at this point.

Yes, I'm a negative person who most people don't like, I get that. But that negativity is caused by being shy my whole life and seeing how negatively people treat me. And I know, shy people can be liked too, but not me. Like I said, my timidness combined with me not letting people get away with bad intentions (i,e, strong opinions), really p*sses people off. They think "this weak guy is telling ME I'm wrong?!" and they always get aggressive and disrespectful. And also, in real life they also treat me like I'm mentally deficient just because I have a soft voice and am anxious. That gets annoying when I know I'm pretty smart (I helped my older doctor brother get thought secondary school and college even though I was two years younger, not that I have to justify myself, but just to paint a picture) and I get bus-drivers and homeless people talking to me like I'm an idiot. Not saying all bus drivers and homeless people are stupid, just the majority of the ones I've spoken to were. It usually goes the smarter they are, the less stupid they think I am. Starting to see where all the hatred comes from? Ok, I'm rambling now.

Maybe I'm just fecked, every thread I start ends up the same - me arguing against everyone else, so it's obviously my problem. Maybe that shyness is actually there for a reason - to not make people hate me by hearing the real me, but maybe I'm just not a likable person. Wow, that's pathetic....and people see that patheticness immediately, and have no interest in talking to me. (yes, I have no - ZERO - friends, even my family mostly dislike me now)....hmmmmm........damn......there's really no way out of this. Thanks for making me see that guys (sincerely), at least now I can work towards something better, even if I don't know how. I know it wasn't the point of my OP but it's even more beneficial in a way...still sad though

Big Bag of Chips

OP, I think you really are all confused. Your posts contradict yourself at every turn. To be honest you're not making much sense and I think that's more down to your age, and your limited view of the world. You have a lot of time to grow and mature and to figure out who you are. Not everything is negative, and honestly, most if not all of the posts here were positive towards you until you started going on the defensive and throwing judgements around on other posters.

If you're surrounded by negative thinking and negative comments you're naturally going to think everyone is negative. And that's really not always the case. It's actually rarely the case in everyday life, outside of your immediate surroundings. People in general are too busy worrying about their own problems and lives to be bothered being negative about others. Some people thrive on it, of course, and you will always meet those kind of people, but the trick is to see them for what they are, block them out and move on. Engaging with them and trying to reason with them will get you nowhere except frustrated and they'll be happy because they're giving out about someone/something! It's their reason for being.

If there's a counsellor in your college it might be worth having a chat with them. Just to maybe get things off your chest and maybe even get a bit of guidance towards what direction you might move in next.

You're 23, you don't realise it but you are only starting out. You have years ahead of you where you will realise that what you thought you knew at one time, you're still only figuring out the older you get. I know telling you that is making no sense to you, because at your age we all knew it all!! And we wouldn't have listened to someone telling us we didn't. It's only as you live life a bit more you realise you're still figuring it out as you head for 40

You clearly have big ideas. Put them to good use.

Ursus Horribilis

If you're struggling socially and rubbing people up the wrong way, it's understandable that you're going to adopt the bitter mindset you've got now. Are you familiar with the saying "If you run into an assh*le in the morning, you ran into an assh*le. If you run into assholes all day, you're the assh*le" ? Now I'm not saying you're an assh*le because there seems to be a nice person in there, trying to get out. I think you need to change your attitude and way of dealing with people if you're to have any sort of rewarding and fulfilling life. I'm not just talking here about your tendency to lash out at people but the whole package. The anxiety, the excessive timidity, perhaps your general demeanour. It's interesting your family felt the need to tell you that you're such a nice guy. I don't think that happens in most families and I wonder did they say it to try and make you feel better about yourself?
I agree with Big Bag of Chips regarding asking for counselling. It's probably something that needs CBT or some other sort of therapy. I'm not a medical professional so I don't really know. But the college counsellor would be a good start and they should be able to get the ball rollling.

That is, of course if you want to change. What would you like from life? Would you like to have friends? A social life? A partner? A family of your own? If you continue the way you're going, the chances of these things happening have been diminished. If you are to have any sort of working life at all, you're going to have to learn how to get on with other people, communicate well with them and to form working relationships. I also get the impression you don't know how to be assertive and instead, you lurch from one extreme to another i.e. timidity to aggression. Assertiveness is a great life skill to have and would greatly help you.

*sits back and waits for the inevitable bile-filled backlash

LegacyUser

At 23 you don't know it all. If you find you are with people who are always moaning, giving out about their jobs/carears or life in general it time to start looking for new people or friends in your life.

I think you need help with being negative or improving your social skills. I would look at getting help now. It will only be short period of time before you go looking for work. Your negitive attitude will come across in an interview. Employers can pick and choose who works for them. As well as qualifications they want someone who is willing to listen, learn, be flexable and get on with co workers. This is important coming out of college as you don't know everything. You need help to futher your skills and your employer is offering you valuable experience along with the possiblity of doing further courses.

In the past I was some what like you. I realised I had to make changes to improve my life and how I got on with co workers. I have also met people I worked with in the past moving to different companies so I learned to leave job A on good terms going to job B.

LegacyUser

I think part of the reason jobs are often depressing is because we work for so many hours. It is so repetitive, and so gets very boring. Working part-time is a good way to enjoy what you do, i think. I work part time now and it does make a big difference, at least to me (although you have to sacrifice some earnings). Most jobs are not as interesting as we think they're going to be, but what usually happens is as we get older we either eventually find something that we DO like enough most of the time to do long term, or just accept the fact that jobs, like other things, are disappointing. Im ten years older than you OP and just this year started working in a job i enjoy. And by enjoy I mean I find it pleasant about 80 percent of the time, with the odd moment of boredom or frustration or whatnot. Because I've also had the ''bad jobs'' in the past so maybe I am just happy to be in a job where I don't have to deal with narky customers/cleaning toilets or being spoken to like an idiot, which you tend to get in jobs where you don't need good qualifications. Also, another suggestion, and a good backup to have, I think, is an idea where, if you have to, you can work for yourself. That way, once you have a backup option that you know you can do, it takes the pressure off, as well. Don't really know what else to say, just sometimes, like in my case, it can take aaaaaaaaaages to find something that you enjoy/are comfortable doing.( By the way none of what i've said is intended to be offensive so if anyone is offended, wasn't my intention, it is only my own personal opinion on jobs and how they've tended to be, in my own personal experiences.)