Does your office have a resident jerk?

jetsonx

I think every office has one. He is loud, brash but likes to be seen as a free thinker.

He provides great entertainment on a dull Tuesday afternoon trying to be the office shock jock. But in reality, he is not that funny. His talk is crude and insulting but he is seen by some as good for a laugh albeit for a short period only.

For the most part, the lads in the office give him a wide berth but he is usually surrounded by a coterie of 3-4 insecure females.

The office jerk really excels himself at the Christmas party, 3 pints down and he becomes a one man weapon of mass destruction insulting everyone in his wake and bringing some of his female disciples to tears.

Know the type? Do you have one of these in your office?

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

No.

That's it I suppose: no.

jimgoose

Not that I've noticed, no. Unless it's me - that's possible I suppose, aside from the entourage of chungwans. :pac:

Mint Sauce

Talon Sticky Crane wrote: »

No.

That's it I suppose: no.

If you don't know who it is, it's usually you.

Crazyteacher

jetsonx wrote: »

I think every office has one. He is loud, brash but likes to be seen as a free thinker.

He provides great entertainment on a dull Tuesday afternoon trying to be the office shock jock. But in reality, he is not that funny. His talk is crude and insulting but he is seen by some as good for a laugh albeit for a short period only.


For the most part, the lads in the office give him a wide berth but he is usually surrounded by a coterie of 3-4 insecure females.

The office jerk really excels himself at the Christmas party, 3 pints down and he becomes a one man weapon of mass destruction insulting everyone in his wake and bringing some of his female disciples to tears.

Know the type? Do you have one of these in your office?

I know the sort. Thinks they can wing it through everything and some poor soul ends up doing all of the work while he/she stands back smirking.

Mr.Plough

Still thinking about me at this hour are you?

Timberrrrrrrr

If you don't know who the office Jerk is then that means you are the office Jerk.

johnnyskeleton

Maybe he is a great guy, the female workers are normal well adjusted people and you are the one showing your insecurities? Maybe?

dashoonage

Yup me

go **** yourself OP.

Mr.Plough

OP if you can't spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.

Hector Bellend

Mr.Plough wrote: »

OP if you can't spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.

Sometimes theres more than one

zzfh

Todd Packer.

Mrs OBumble

Yup. It's the boss.

Senna

It's a girl in our place, really self obsessed dose of ****e.

pickarooney

Colin from the fast show

darkdubh

A quick, sharp, sudden movement.


Eh, no we don't have a resident jerk.

King George VI

Yep. Me.

Hal1

We used to take a vote on a friday for w@nker of the week.

Cupcake_Crisis

We have a salon bitch if that counts.

Ursus Horribilis

Not a jerk as such but we have a woman who disguises her nasty jibes as humour. A deeply unpleasant individual.

Grayson

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Not a jerk as such but we have a woman who disguises her nasty jibes as humour. A deeply unpleasant individual.

There was a woman like that where I worked. She'd say stuff like "I'm not racist but..." What followed was never the kind of thing that you'd wonder about. It was clearly racist.

There was another guy who referred to anyone who had darker skin as a paki. I'm not sure if he knew Pakistan was a country or if he just thought it was a generic name.

The worst was a girl who was always a bit unstable. She's go on long rants about the littlest things. Create arguments with nearly every coworker. She even managed to create legal issues for the company. She started seeing someone in the office. The day she found out he was cheating on her she wrote up a two page facebook post. She tagged half the office. When she came back to work it was so heavily sedated that she was drooling. Every single day was spent tiptoeing around her.

Satts

Yeah, I know the type, sarcasm and sexual innuendo are his weapons of choice.
It was funny once or twice 20 years ago but not anymore. Most of us have matured some bit.

jetsonx

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

If you don't know who the office Jerk is then that means you are the office Jerk.

Yip, typically "office jerk" has a very low level of self-awareness. He has convinced himself that his behaviour can be attributed to his curiosity, him being a maverick or his humour. But the reality is quite different.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

jetsonx wrote: »

I think every office has one. He is loud, brash but likes to be seen as a free thinker.

He provides great entertainment on a dull Tuesday afternoon trying to be the office shock jock. But in reality, he is not that funny. His talk is crude and insulting but he is seen by some as good for a laugh albeit for a short period only.

For the most part, the lads in the office give him a wide berth but he is usually surrounded by a coterie of 3-4 insecure females.

The office jerk really excels himself at the Christmas party, 3 pints down and he becomes a one man weapon of mass destruction insulting everyone in his wake and bringing some of his female disciples to tears.

Know the type? Do you have one of these in your office?

I knew at least five when I went to school, but none in the office.

Brego888

OP jealous that work colleague gets more attention from females.

Cee-Jay-Cee

I work alone in an office of my own. Does that mean it's me? I do talk to myself quite a bit and insult myself every now and then. Crikey I'm such a wanker. Thank you OP for pointing that out, I'd never have known that I was such a twat.

demanufactured

Senna wrote: »

It's a girl in our place, really self obsessed dose of ****e.

Do you work in the same office as me ?

Beta Ray Bill

Hi OP

That defo sounds like me.

I'm a total prick on the inside, but everyone loves me, or at least I think they do, and if they don't - ****'em
I surround myself with insecure women (even though I work in a office full of men)
No one dares slag me, cause well..... I'm just so damn deadly! Yet I do my utmost to insult everyone else.

Yes indeed I am that Office "See you next Tuesday" person you describe and I wouldn't change it for the world!

LOL

YFlyer

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

I work alone in an office of my own. Does that mean it's me? I do talk to myself quite a bit and insult myself every now and then. Crikey I'm such a wanker. Thank you OP for pointing that out, I'd never have known that I was such a twat.

Wabbit Ears

Im also the office Jerk, Wouldnt change it for the world.

Haters gonna hate, Us Jerks are completly self aware of who we are and how we're percieved by some. Fcuk those judgemental guys and gals, life's to short to pander to their insecurities and sensabilities.

Pac1Man

So we are ok with using the word 'jerk' now?

What has become of us all?

corner of hells

Yeah , a female version in her thirties, barely literate who spends a considerable amount of time putting up inane posts of Facebook about her gym , the ****e she eats and her relationship status.

Part of our job description is writing up regular reports and letters that may be sent to outside services,one of her most recent reports had the word " dismorn" in it .

Needless to say the letter came back from a solicitor wanting to know if we were ok with the word "dismorn " .

jetsonx

corner of hells wrote: »

Part of our job description is writing up regular reports and letters that may be sent to outside services,one of her most recent reports had the word " dismorn" in it .

When you do let them off their leash, sh!t like this happens all the time with them...

"Jerk employee" + "third party communication" is a deadly combination...

El_Duderino 09

jetsonx wrote:

Yip, typically "office jerk" has a very low level of self-awareness. He has convinced himself that his behaviour can be attributed to his curiosity, him being a maverick or his humour. But the reality is quite different.

I'd say our guy we bullied remorselessly for being such a geek when he was younger. Now that being a geek is cool he thinks he's the bloody business and everyone wants to know how hy-larious he is. Everyone's​too polite to tell him that being a geek is cool but being a sack isn't.