Losing interest or overthinking? Best move forward?

StarGirl17

I've met this guy halfway through January and we've been on two dates. We agreed no relationship yet, we would see how it goes. We have slept together and he used to love getting snaps off me. (He thought my thigh tattoo was really hot apparently but they weren't dirty ones) haha! But lately he hasn't really been responding back to my flirty messages in a flirty way too and I've stopped sending snaps because he doesn't send any back or comment on them. I don't really know if he's trying to be respectful or is just really bad at text flirting. At the start, he was really into the odd suggestive message but now, nothing. Has the initial excitement just worn off or what can I do to get some sort of response out of him? He does always reply but seems to shy away from the flirts so I dunno what to think? We were having a conversation ages ago and I told him I liked him and he said he liked me too otherwise he just wouldn't text me back at all. So maybe I am overthinking things. When I asked him if he wanted to meet this week, he said he will have to see what his wages are like as he has been off sick a lot lately. We live about an hour apart and it costs about £50 on the train to visit me. He does text me back everyday as normal. I was thinking of maybe actually offering to visit him since he was the one to come down the last two times and he is trying to pay off £1000 off his holiday in august.

professore

He doesn't sound too keen about the whole thing one way or another. I wouldn't get my hopes up OP.

BetsyEllen

No I don't think he is keen either.

Also, if this was the 3rd time you were going to meet I think it's bad on your part that it was expected that he'd come to you again. If it costs him €50 and is an hours travel, it's not fair that he is expected to do it each time.

But anyway, I think that ship has sailed now and it doesn't sound likes he's bothered about seeing you again. Sorry OP.

Big Bag of Chips

I think meeting up with you is just too much hassle for him. Surely there are plenty of girls closer that are easier and less costly to get too. Absolutely without a doubt you should have offered to meet him the next time. But I think he mightn't even be interested at this point. You've only met twice in 6 or 7 weeks. Even if you're texting everyday it's no substitute, especially in the early days for actually meeting up face to face.

Only way you'll know for definite though is to ask him out straight.

njs030

If he's only replying rather than instigating conversation it's not a good sign, neither was his disinterest in meeting I'm afraid. I wouldn't go offering to visit him either, if he wanted that he would have suggested it.

I agree he doesn't seem too interested, maybe leave it now and let him contact you.

Tokyo

Texts are cheap - when it comes to making an actual effort, he's not interested. He'll message you as long as you keep contacting him, but, sorry to say it OP, my money would be on if you stop texting tomorrow, he won't bother following up to see where you disappeared to.

ConfusedGirl17

Hi, this is the OP, I've had to change my username as it wasn't letting me view my thread for some reason! He told me he is interested in me otherwise he wouldn't bother talking to me at all. Apparently he doesn't just do "polite"

He said he is massively broke at the minute so I thought maybe the best idea would be to just ask him about visiting him. Least that way I will just know. If he declines that, then I know for definite.

ConfusedGirl17

BetsyEllen wrote: »

No I don't think he is keen either.

Also, if this was the 3rd time you were going to meet I think it's bad on your part that it was expected that he'd come to you again. If it costs him €50 and is an hours travel, it's not fair that he is expected to do it each time.

But anyway, I think that ship has sailed now and it doesn't sound likes he's bothered about seeing you again. Sorry OP.

Yeah, that's why I was going to offer to visit this time as it isn't fair that it's down to him every time.

ConfusedGirl17

notjustsweet wrote: »

If he's only replying rather than instigating conversation it's not a good sign, neither was his disinterest in meeting I'm afraid. I wouldn't go offering to visit him either, if he wanted that he would have suggested it.

I agree he doesn't seem too interested, maybe leave it now and let him contact you.

He has hinted a few times about me coming to get him but I didn't think he was serious so I never did.

njs030

Well it's unlikely he's going to turn down someone offering to come and visit him and have sex with him.
That doesn't mean he's interested in a relationship with you op.


As everyone has said texts are easy but making effort is harder, if you want to know how he really feels (actions vs words) stop texting him and see what he does.

cactusgal

He doesn't sound terribly interested to me, sorry I also wonder how realistic it is to try to carry out something long-distance (an hour away at 50 quid a visit is a pain), especially if neither of you are interested in a relationship? Unless I'm picking up the OP wrong ... What would be the point?

ConfusedGirl17

notjustsweet wrote: »

Well it's unlikely he's going to turn down someone offering to come and visit him and have sex with him.
That doesn't mean he's interested in a relationship with you op.


As everyone has said texts are easy but making effort is harder, if you want to know how he really feels (actions vs words) stop texting him and see what he does.

I know, I'm under no illusion that he wants a relationship at the minute at all. Good advice on the no texting. I've actually been taking longer to reply and not jumping every time my phone goes off and he is being a lot more talkative.

ConfusedGirl17

cactusgal wrote: »

He doesn't sound terribly interested to me, sorry I also wonder how realistic it is to try to carry out something long-distance (an hour away at 50 quid a visit is a pain), especially if neither of you are interested in a relationship? Unless I'm picking up the OP wrong ... What would be the point?

You're not picking me up wrong at all. I do see your point. I said to him that the distance it quite a bit and he said it's worth it and he would rather spend his money on that than a pile of junk. I think all your advice to back off for a while is a good idea. Then I'll know. I would like to offer to visit him but then I'm wondering how desperate that will look. And I do not want to look desperate.

njs030

Well backing off and offering to visit send opposite signals.
Just leave it for now and let him contact you.

ConfusedGirl17

notjustsweet wrote: »

Well backing off and offering to visit send opposite signals.
Just leave it for now and let him contact you.

I will try that and see what happens

Rekop dog

He's probably just not a child and doesn't get much of a kick out of sexting. I mean who does, it's always a bit contrived and cringy tbh. Especially after you've already slept with him, the initial anticipation factor is gone.

If he always replies but not to the overly flirty stuff it shows me he is interested but just bored or awkward with sexting.

ConfusedGirl17

Rekop dog wrote: »

He's probably just not a child and doesn't get much of a kick out of sexting. I mean who does, it's always a bit contrived and cringy tbh. Especially after you've already slept with him, the initial anticipation factor is gone.

If he always replies but not to the overly flirty stuff it shows me he is interested but just bored or awkward with sexting.

Yeah I thought it was a bit cringey when he first started it and then when we slept together, it stopped. So I can see your point there actually. He does always reply and asks me how I'm doing etc so he still seems interested in the convo.

racso1975

I will go against the grain here.

Maybe take him at his word? Maybe he is flat ass broke and saving. He seems to be saying all the right things bar not texting. If the guy flat out says he does not do polite maybe he is that Strong silent type who does not initiate conversations too easily.

I'd offer to go see him and then male your judgement call after when you are around him and can pick up on physical and emotional signs as opposed to speculating

ConfusedGirl17

racso1975 wrote: »

I will go against the grain here.

Maybe take him at his word? Maybe he is flat ass broke and saving. He seems to be saying all the right things bar not texting. If the guy flat out says he does not do polite maybe he is that Strong silent type who does not initiate conversations too easily.

I'd offer to go see him and then male your judgement call after when you are around him and can pick up on physical and emotional signs as opposed to speculating

Yeah you're spot on! I have a terrible habit of overthinking things. I know I don't like going anywhere when I'm really broke either. He can be quite shy at times.

I will take your advice and offer to visit him. I suppose he has said about coming down when he has a better wage and has many chances to say he won't be back down again.

Ursus Horribilis

Do you ever ring each other up and chat on the phone? It might sound old-fashioned but it sure beats texting.

njs030

Op people are going to have different opinions. What I would be asking myself in your situation is had he changed?

It's one thing for a poster to say they find sexting cringey...but your man obviously didn't when he engaged in it. It's unlikely he's suddenly awkward about it if he wasn't then, he just doesn't want to anymore. So yes his behaviour has changed.

Was it always you contacting him and him replying? Or did he instigate conversation previously and now it's all left to you?

Instead of jumping on posts and swinging from one way to the other why don't you really think about what, if anything has changed?

ConfusedGirl17

notjustsweet wrote: »

Op people are going to have different opinions. What I would be asking myself in your situation is had he changed?

It's one thing for a poster to say they find sexting cringey...but your man obviously didn't when he engaged in it. It's unlikely he's suddenly awkward about it if he wasn't then, he just doesn't want to anymore. So yes his behaviour has changed.

Was it always you contacting him and him replying? Or did he instigate conversation previously and now it's all left to you?

Instead of jumping on posts and swinging from one way to the other why don't you really think about what, if anything has changed?

He still talks and texts me everyday as normal. He just doesn't really sext anymore which isn't really a big deal to be honest. We haven't actually stopped talking at any point really. He still asks about how I'm doing and said we will meet up when he isn't so broke so maybe I am reading too much into it. He only really did flirt big time before we slept together the first time. My ex was the same and we lasted a year

Big Bag of Chips

I think being broke might be a bit of a white lie. Maybe he just wants you to make an effort too?! Maybe he's thinking all the things you're thinking. Is she interested? If I don't go to her, would she be bothered coming to me? I take it you've never offered to go visit him? So in a 7 week time span he's done all the running, and now you're questioning if he's losing interest!!

Simple solution is ring him. Ask him. You can tell a lot about a person and their feelings when you can hear their voice. I think you are playing too many games, holding off texting etc. What if he is playing similar games by holding off visiting?? Just be upfront with each other. You'll find out one way or another and at least then you'll know.

njs030

ConfusedGirl17 wrote: »

He still talks and texts me everyday as normal. He just doesn't really sext anymore which isn't really a big deal to be honest. We haven't actually stopped talking at any point really. He still asks about how I'm doing and said we will meet up when he isn't so broke so maybe I am reading too much into it. He only really did flirt big time before we slept together the first time. My ex was the same and we lasted a year

Well if he's contacting you as much as he always did then yeah I think you may be over thinking it.

Sure offer to visit him and see how it goes, you'll know a lot more in person!

ConfusedGirl17

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I think being broke might be a bit of a white lie. Maybe he just wants you to make an effort too?! Maybe he's thinking all the things you're thinking. Is she interested? If I don't go to her, would she be bothered coming to me? I take it you've never offered to go visit him? So in a 7 week time span he's done all the running, and now you're questioning if he's losing interest!!

Simple solution is ring him. Ask him. You can tell a lot about a person and their feelings when you can hear their voice. I think you are playing too many games, holding off texting etc. What if he is playing similar games by holding off visiting?? Just be upfront with each other. You'll find out one way or another and at least then you'll know.

This is actually the way advice I have gotten! I never looked at it this way. I was too worried that offering to go see him when he's broke or saying he can't come down would look desperate on my part. He really did make the effort. Even coming down on Valentine's Day as well just so he could spend time with me. You're right about the game playing. It's stupid and immature. I never even questioned how he might be thinking at all. I was talking to a mate tonight about it and she said the same thing you did. That maybe he's waiting to see what effort I make. Good idea on the calling him too. I will try that and see what happens.

ConfusedGirl17

[/quote]

Well if he's contacting you as much as he always did then yeah I think you may be over thinking it.

Sure offer to visit him and see how it goes, you'll know a lot more in person![/quote]

I do tend to overthink a lot. That's my biggest problem unfortunately! I will offer to see him and then I'll know more like you say. I've been given lots of great advice on this from all of you and I really appreciate it!

ConfusedGirl17

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I think being broke might be a bit of a white lie. Maybe he just wants you to make an effort too?! Maybe he's thinking all the things you're thinking. Is she interested? If I don't go to her, would she be bothered coming to me? I take it you've never offered to go visit him? So in a 7 week time span he's done all the running, and now you're questioning if he's losing interest!!

Simple solution is ring him. Ask him. You can tell a lot about a person and their feelings when you can hear their voice. I think you are playing too many games, holding off texting etc. What if he is playing similar games by holding off visiting?? Just be upfront with each other. You'll find out one way or another and at least then you'll know.

Just to update, I did offer to go and get him and he said that he is really broke at the minute. I then just asked him outright if he had any intention of actually coming down again and he said "yea just not this week "
So I'm thinking of maybe backing off this week and see if he comes forward anymore and go from there?

Merkin

I'd just leave it tbh.

ConfusedGirl17

Merkin wrote: »

I'd just leave it tbh.

Well the way I was seeing it was, I gave him his chance to say no or even just not reply and he didn't do either. Plus he has been texting a lot more regularly since as well.

Merkin

ConfusedGirl17 wrote: »

Well the way I was seeing it was, I gave him his chance to say no or even just not reply and he didn't do either. Plus he has been texting a lot more regularly since as well.

Which is exactly how you string someone along. You bestow enough attention so as not to completely irritate the other person to the point of having enough. You've offered to go and pick him up and he's said no. The nature of the contact has changed between you and he's not being at all proactive in instigating another meet up. I'm afraid it doesn't bode well.

ConfusedGirl17

Merkin wrote: »

ConfusedGirl17 wrote: »

Well the way I was seeing it was, I gave him his chance to say no or even just not reply and he didn't do either. Plus he has been texting a lot more regularly since as well.

Which is exactly how you string someone along. You bestow enough attention so as not to completely irritate the other person to the point of having enough. You've offered to go and pick him up and he's said no. The nature of the contact has changed between you and he's not being at all proactive in instigating another meet up. I'm afraid it doesn't bode well.

Apparently he doesn't like going anywhere without no money and he has stated very clearly before that when he doesn't want to bother with someone anymore, he just doesn't, end of. That's why I'm confused a bit. He didn't say no, just not this week. He never instigated any of the other meet ups. That was me. He apparently doesn't like inviting himself places. Not even with me, with anyone. My friend did say he could be keeping there just enough so he can come down as and when he wants which I know is a possibility.

njs030

ConfusedGirl17 wrote: »

Apparently he doesn't like going anywhere without no money and he has stated very clearly before that when he doesn't want to bother with someone anymore, he just doesn't, end of. That's why I'm confused a bit. He didn't say no, just not this week. He never instigated any of the other meet ups. That was me. He apparently doesn't like inviting himself places. Not even with me, with anyone. My friend did say he could be keeping there just enough so he can come down as and when he wants which I know is a possibility.

Op it's hard to be objective when you're in the situation but you're disagreeing with every piece of advice you're given. Maybe read over the thread and your responses?

When someone likes you it's not this hard, if youre making all the contact, instigating all the meet ups and you've only seen each other a couple of times it sounds like a lot of hard work for very little.
You offered to go and see him and he said no. That's not someone who's dying to see you op. Not having money is an excuse, it doesn't cost anything to relax and watch a film on TV.

The best thing you can say about him is that he hasn't told you he isn't interested.....but why would he? Youre happy to accept any attention he gives you and wait until he decides to see you on his terms.
He likes you a bit but not enough to make any effort outside his comfort zone.
Anyone can send texts, actions matter.

Ursus Horribilis

You can dress it up any way you want but two dates in 2 months isn't much of a return, is it? I get the impression he's using that money excuse to maximum advantage.

Let's switch roles for a moment and imagine you were the one who couldn't afford to visit him. If he rang you up and said he'd come visit you or he'd come collect you, what would your response be? I don't know about you but I'd snap his hand off. You can make a date as cheap or expensive as you want it. Does an evening curled up on the sofa with a takeaway not measure up to his exacting standards? It's you he should be wanting to see, regardless of whether it's in your house or in some posh restaurant.

You don't need me to tell you that there plenty of people out there who'll text til the cows come home. Yet when it comes to arranging an actual date, you'd have better luck convincing them to donate an organ. This is a classic case of a guy who's throwing you just enough breadcrumbs to keep you interested while not actually committing to anything. But if you want to keep trying to get a third date out of this fella, by all means see how it goes. At the rate you're going, you'll be lucky to make it into double figures by the end of the year.

Big Bag of Chips

Just to be the fly in everybody's ointment... Does he live at home with his parents? Maybe an evening cuddled up on the couch isn't an option for him. And if you're young enough maybe he hasn't much of an imagination on what to do on a free date!!

In saying all that, you've met in person twice in 2 months. This isn't a budding relationship. It's at best a fwb set up. Logistically, its not going to work out. You don't live close enough to each other for this to develop into a relationship. You're the modern day equivalent of penpals! It's likely he has his eye out for a more local girl too. I think at this early stage, it's a bad sign that you're already posting online asking advice. Early days of a relationship are supposed to be fun and easy and exciting. This isn't. And by the sounds of it, even if it progresses it's never going to be easy. Physical distance and lack of transport make it so.

There will be fellas closer to your area, OP, maybe concentrate on meeting one of those.

Ursus Horribilis

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Just to be the fly in everybody's ointment... Does he live at home with his parents? Maybe an evening cuddled up on the couch isn't an option for him. And if you're young enough maybe he hasn't much of an imagination on what to do on a free date!!

I thought about that but then I looked again at her update. She mentions offering to come get him (presumably to bring him back to where she lives) but he trotted out the money excuse again. Maybe you're right about the lack of imagination thing but I'm more inclined to think he's not that interested.

ConfusedGirl17

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Just to be the fly in everybody's ointment... Does he live at home with his parents? Maybe an evening cuddled up on the couch isn't an option for him. And if you're young enough maybe he hasn't much of an imagination on what to do on a free date!!

I thought about that but then I looked again at her update. She mentions offering to come get him (presumably to bring him back to where she lives) but he trotted out the money excuse again. Maybe you're right about the lack of imagination thing but I'm more inclined to think he's not that interested.

Yea he does live with his mum so me going to his house is not really workable as such. I did ask him outright if he intended on coming down again because if he didn't, I'd quit asking and he said yes it just wouldn't be this week because he has to pay a good bit off his holiday.
I know I'm on this asking for his advice but I've been messed around so many times that I am constantly on edge regardless. Just always waiting for it to go wrong which is stupid. I should really just take each day as it comes.
He said he doesn't really have the money to go out and do anything and the last couple of times he came down, he likes paying for things. It was almost like he felt it was his place or something but I don't see it that way.
I know there's a good distance between us but I've been in LDR before and they've worked out great. We are nowhere near the relationship stage yet. We said we would see how we're getting on in a while. I'm not long ot of a relationship so I'm not ready to trust someone like that.
I know that it is easy to text someone everyday. It's free and doesn't take a lot of effort. He says he enjoys talking to me and if he didn't, he just wouldn't bother.
I'm going to back off on the contact for a while and see if he actually makes any effort or mentions about seeing me again. Apparently he doesn't like inviting himself anywhere, not even mates so I always feel like it's on me to ask.

Sorry if I haven't replied to everyone's comments but I do appreciate all the advice from each and every one of you my plan is to back off considerably and see what happens. If he really wants to bother, he will start to show it. If not, well then there's not a lot I can do about it.

Big Bag of Chips

I just think this isn't going to work out. Even if he was mad about you, it costs him €50 every time just to come see you, and then whatever money he spends while he's there. And yes people can say he could do free things etc, but it sounds like he wants to be seen to be the gentleman by paying for stuff. He simply can't afford this!

I think you're right to back off. And I don't think you should get too disheartened if it ends up you don't hear from him much. I think it is very likely that he does really like you, but its just logistically too difficult for it to work out.

ConfusedGirl17

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I just think this isn't going to work out. Even if he was mad about you, it costs him €50 every time just to come see you, and then whatever money he spends while he's there. And yes people can say he could do free things etc, but it sounds like he wants to be seen to be the gentleman by paying for stuff. He simply can't afford this!

I think you're right to back off. And I don't think you should get too disheartened if it ends up you don't hear from him much. I think it is very likely that he does really like you, but its just logistically too difficult for it to work out.

I do see where you're coming from regarding the travel costs etc. It's actually cheaper than I thought to get the train down. It's half the price I originally thought. I don't know whether that actually makes it better or worse to be honest. I have said to him a few times about the distance and he's told me it's worth it and he would rather be spending his money on something he enjoys than wasting it away but the holiday is crippling him at the minute.
Having said that I do know even if it does work out, it's going to be difficult. You are right about him wanting to be a gentleman and pay for stuff even though I told him there really isn't any need for him to do stuff like this. I did say to him that I would pay for things next time he's down because he did last time and he just said "we'll see "
I know that we agreed that we would casually date and see where it goes so realistically I shouldn't even be worried about texting everyday. I don't even text my friends every single day and it doesn't concern me. It'll be hard but I'm going to resist it and back off a little and see what happens.

Big Bag of Chips

ConfusedGirl, I see you started another thread asking much the same question. Nobody but him can answer the question for you. We can all speculate what we think he's doing but none of us know what's in his head. Your best bet is to ask HIM.

But I will repeat, you've seen him twice since January. Meeting up appears to be a problem. That is a problem that is not going away anytime soon. If you really like him, stick around, talk to him and see how things progress. Otherwise, just let it end. Maybe if he texts you again you can tell him you don't think it's going to work. But continuing to ask strangers on the internet what he's thinking is getting you nowhere. He's the only person who can tell you that.

ConfusedGirl17

Well I did send him a text yesterday after leaving it for a few days just to give us both a break. He hasn't been online since Monday which is out of character and so therefore he hasn't read it.
I do really like him but you're right, I'm just going to have to ask him outright how this is going to progress.

Ursus Horribilis

If he says yes he's still interested but he's flat broke, what then? You're still going to be melting your head and second-guessing what he's thinking. Has he said when this loan will be paid off?

whoopsadoodles

Seriously. Forget about him.

You're two months in and your head is wrecked for a lad you've seen twice?

Why ask him how it's going to progress. This is it. This is how your "relationship" is and will always be.

Move on.

ConfusedGirl17

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

If he says yes he's still interested but he's flat broke, what then? You're still going to be melting your head and second-guessing what he's thinking. Has he said when this loan will be paid off?

He said he has until may to have it paid off. I'm just going to tell him we agreed we would see each other often and if we can't then there really isn't any point in just texting each other all the time

ConfusedGirl17

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

Seriously. Forget about him.

You're two months in and your head is wrecked for a lad you've seen twice?

Why ask him how it's going to progress. This is it. This is how your "relationship" is and will always be.

Move on.

I know I agreed to a casual relationship but I didn't think it would be this casual

njs030

ConfusedGirl17 wrote: »

Well I did send him a text yesterday after leaving it for a few days just to give us both a break. He hasn't been online since Monday which is out of character and so therefore he hasn't read it.
I do really like him but you're right, I'm just going to have to ask him outright how this is going to progress.

You didn't contact him for a few days and as many people on this thread told you would happen he wasn't bothered at all.
Why on earth did you text him again? Op really you need to have some dignity and I mean this in the nicest way possible.

Why would you ask how its going to progress? You've seen him twice in quite a long period of time and he has made excuses not to see you since then and doesn't contact you? . Does that sound like someone who's interested in progression? Honestly it's been 2 dates see it for what it is.

Bambi985

ConfusedGirl17 wrote: »

He said he has until may to have it paid off. I'm just going to tell him we agreed we would see each other often and if we can't then there really isn't any point in just texting each other all the time

OP stop embarrassing yourself. His complete lack of actions says it all. He's not interested, he got bored/the chase was over for him after you'd had sex and now he doesn't have the balls to tell you he's not bothered.

Realms of lads on the online dating scene will be like this. You're not being unnecessarily jaded or negative by seeing it for what it is - this is the only way to be if you're going to dabble in the online scene. A healthy dose of scepticism coupled with not getting excited about anyone until you've established a bit of trust and longevity in the relationship.

This isn't a relationship, it's two dates over two months with a lad who you have to coax into seeing you as if it's some sort of chore. Noone that values you and your time and fancies the pants off you will act this way, ever.

Put on your big girl pants now and delete this fella from your phone, your snapchat, your whatsapp etc. Don't go messaging him telling him it's over - that's just you looking for attention from him and waiting for him to tell you what you need to hear. It's giving him more power. Delete and move on. That's it.

ConfusedGirl17

Bambi985 wrote: »

ConfusedGirl17 wrote: »

He said he has until may to have it paid off. I'm just going to tell him we agreed we would see each other often and if we can't then there really isn't any point in just texting each other all the time

OP stop embarrassing yourself. His complete lack of actions says it all. He's not interested, he got bored/the chase was over for him after you'd had sex and now he doesn't have the balls to tell you he's not bothered.

Realms of lads on the online dating scene will be like this. You're not being unnecessarily jaded or negative by seeing it for what it is - this is the only way to be if you're going to dabble in the online scene. A healthy dose of scepticism coupled with not getting excited about anyone until you've established a bit of trust and longevity in the relationship.

This isn't a relationship, it's two dates over two months with a lad who you have to coax into seeing you as if it's some sort of chore. Noone that values you and your time and fancies the pants off you will act this way, ever.

Put on your big girl pants now and delete this fella from your phone, your snapchat, your whatsapp etc. Don't go messaging him telling him it's over - that's just you looking for attention from him and waiting for him to tell you what you need to hear. It's giving him more power. Delete and move on. That's it.

I know it's not a relationship and I've never thought it was. I never had to coax him into coming down to see me either times. At the end of the day it is a casual set up and I've two choices. Accept what I agreed to or walk away. I've only sent him one text after a couple of days to see how he was doing but he hasn't been online on anything. I'm not sending anything else until he replies or whatever.