He forgot my birthday

Script

Plain and simple...forgot. I'm a little hurt but not sure whether I have any right to be?

December2012

I presume "he" is your boyfriend / husband?

How long are you together? Is this your first birthday since you are together and did he have any way of knowing that it was your birthday?

Script

Together maybe 8 months so not a lifelong thing just yet - boyfriend only, yes it comes up a few times; the latest being valentines day as he referenced he fact it is 10 days later!

Ladybird37

Hi OP,

It's your birthday today then so?! Maybe he has something planned for later and it is a surprise?

Happy Birthday by the way!

MEGA BRO WOLF 5000

Script wrote: »

Together maybe 8 months so not a lifelong thing just yet - boyfriend only, yes it comes up a few times; the latest being valentines day as he referenced he fact it is 10 days later!

8 months...So the first time you'd be celebrating it together...

I think you should probably get over yourself...You're not 5.

bee06

Script wrote: »

Together maybe 8 months so not a lifelong thing just yet - boyfriend only, yes it comes up a few times; the latest being valentines day as he referenced he fact it is 10 days later!

If he remembered it 10 days ago it would seem odd he's forgotten now. As Ladybird say maybe he has a surprise planned.

D0NNELLY

Not the end of the world. Forgot my own last year till my mam rang

Script

Yes thanks so much, so helpful @Hunky Monster.

D0NNELLY

Script wrote: »

Plain and simple...forgot. I'm a little hurt but not sure whether I have any right to be?

Seriously though, if you're that hurt, say it to him in a non confrontational manner, he'll probably apologise, then you'll move on.

demanufactured

Life goes on.

Big Bag of Chips

Do you ever forget things, OP?
It happens. Why not say it to him rather than waiting for him to definitely do nothing and then be angry at him? A quick text, "do you want to do anything for my birthday later?"

As others said, he might have something planned. Are you in work? Is he? Have you seen him today yet?

Tokyo

I never remember birthdays. I still have Facebook remind me of birthdays of people I've known for years. It's not because I don't care about them - it's because I don't care about birthdays.

Even if that's not the case, the day (and weekend) is still far from over, so he may have something planned, or he may simply be waiting for you to let him know what the plans are. I wouldn't read too much into it.

Bandana boy

I would wait until you see him tonight to see has he forgot or is he trying to surprise you.

Neyite

Hunky Monster wrote: »

8 months...So the first time you'd be celebrating it together...

I think you should probably get over yourself...You're not 5.

Mod:

We expect that posters respond in a civil and helpful manner here in PI. Please bear this in mind when posting from now on, thanks.

uck51js9zml2yt

We forget our wedding anniversary some years. More important things take precedence...Like kids sick, kids clubs, etc.

pilly

I would be a bit hurt especially if he mentioned it 10 days ago. As others said though he could be just pretending he forgot so don't panic yet. Did he do anything for Valentine's?

pilly

Or send him a text saying you got lovely presents for your birthday. That'll jog his memory!

XxMCRxBabyxX

Have you guys made plans for later? Maybe he's planning a big gesture then? Or maybe he's been busy so far and hasn't had a chance to contact you. I think it's too early to be getting upset.

XxMCRxBabyxX

pilly wrote: »

Or send him a text saying you got lovely presents for your birthday. That'll jog his memory!

Or come across as really passive aggressive. Maybe leave this idea out for now.

amtc

I'm slightly surprised that more people aren't agreeing. I'd be livid...couldn't care less about valentines or even Christmas but your birthday is your own special day and should be recognised as such

Now how to bring it up is the tough one. I do think you're entitled to have a small discussion. Perhaps if nothing planned you could meet friends or relatives and bring up calmly tomorrow?

retro:electro

Usually when I come across these posts and also in my personal life, the birthday person will deliberately not mention their birthday in the weeks prior to it as a means of testing their boyfriend, if he remembers without prompt then he passed the test. Did you do this? You've only been together 8 months, he did not celebrate it with you last year. It's probably not a case of "he forgot", more a case of "he never knew".

pilly

anna080 wrote:

Usually when I come across these posts and also in my personal life, the birthday person will deliberately not mention their birthday in the weeks prior to it as a means of testing their boyfriend, if he remembers without prompt then he passed the test. Did you do this? You've only been together 8 months, he did not celebrate it with you last year. It's probably not a case of "he forgot", more a case of "he never knew".

He mentioned it on Valentine's Day Anna.

retro:electro

pilly wrote: »

He mentioned it on Valentine's Day Anna.

I see, I missed that post.

bucketybuck

Personally I think it says a lot if the person you are in a relationship with doesn't even remember your birthday, it speaks to just how much he or she actually thinks of you.

Its got nothing to do with presents or dinner or cards or any of that ****e, its all about the thought, do they ever think about me when I'm not there, or wonder what I'm doing? Its not a controlling or possessive thing, its simply thinking about your partner.

Remembering a birthday only takes two things, knowledge of what date it is on and a desire to think about that person, because if you think about him or her on that date how can you not then remember that its their birthday?

Somebody who doesn't remember their partners birthday? If they really wanted to they would have remembered it, if it was important to them they would have remembered it, so obviously it just wasn't too important to them.

WinnyThePoo

I know I'm bad with peoples birthdays myself. Facebook is abit of a godsend in that regard.

If he brought up your Birthday on Valentines I can imagine he has something in mind or was thinking about it at that time.
Nights still young. Hopefully you'll have a great evening.

miezekatze

I think it's too early to get upset, the day isn't over yet..

tara73

I would be a bit hurt also. I'm a direct person, so I would send a text or phone him and ask him if he forgot my birthday.
I mean, it's not eight o'clock in the morning, he could have sent at least a short text message during the day even if he has planned a surprise later on (which I doubt he has.)

But I wouldn't get to worked up on it, you are not together that long, he might be bad in remembering birthdays and didn't mean to hurt you on purpose.

whiskeyman

Tbh, the first birthday is really a great chance to woo and impress.
When I first met my now wife, I couldn't wait for it... and I planned lots for her.
It really is a huge thing when you're in a new relationship. That's not to say I don't do anything for the rest of the year, but a birthday is always a day to get attention and spoiled by those you love in my opinion.
But maybe that's just me and a handful of others it seems?

Skibunny77

I'm not remotely a birthday person myself but I would never forget a partners birthday. I'd be hurt and disappointed not to have my partner acknowledge it particularly when you inevitably will get texts and wishes from friends/family. Your significant other should remember your birthday too and should be mortified if he really forgot..

Rekop dog

whiskeyman wrote: »

Tbh, the first birthday is really a great chance to woo and impress.
When I first met my now wife, I couldn't wait for it... and I planned lots for her.
It really is a huge thing when you're in a new relationship. That's not to say I don't do anything for the rest of the year, but a birthday is always a day to get attention and spoiled by those you love in my opinion.
But maybe that's just me and a handful of others it seems?

Nah giving/receiving a gift or a nice gesture on a random day you/they don't expect are always far more meaningful imo. Birthdays like any other landmark days always have a bit of a contrived feeling off them. I'd never judge an other half on how they act on a birthday, more so as a whole.

sadie1502

I would be livid. Sorry but first year bloody hell what should you expect next year he forgets your name. He doesn't care enough dump him move on.

retro:electro

sadie1502 wrote: »

I would be livid. Sorry but first year bloody hell what should you expect next year he forgets your name. He doesn't care enough dump him move on.

Dump him?!? Jesus would you really be that self involved to dump him over something like this? He could have a genuine excuse for forgetting. He may have serious things on his mind.

sadie1502

anna080 wrote: »

Dump him?!? Jesus would you really be that self involved to dump him over something like this? He could have a genuine excuse for forgetting. He may have serious things on his mind.

Well yes I would frankly. It's her birthday it happens once a year I'm not talking grand gestures or being whisked away at all a phone call a card how hard is that ?? If I'm not worth a thought well then I don't see an option. I'd be out. Jeez self involved it's her birthday !

leggo

I've got a feeling when Script remembers this post she's going to come on and be like, "No. It was grand guys. He ended up surprising me and it was great!"

harr

Shocking with remembering birthdays myself..the calendar on iPhone is a god send ..put it in once and press to repeat yearly.
If he mentioned it 10 days ago I can't see how it wouldn't be in his head..as others have said wait till tonight and see if he had something planned.
In my opinion it would be bad form if he forgot especially seeing it's your first birthday with him as a couple even if it's only a card or flowers.
I would find it odd if a boyfriend/girlfriend didn't give a gift on birthdays...
If he did forget do tell him you are pissed over it and that you didn't want a big deal made of it but have been nice to get some recognition it was your birthday,

CIARAN_BOYLE

leggo wrote: »

I've got a feeling when Script remembers this post she's going to come on and be like, "No. It was grand guys. He ended up surprising me and it was great!"

Waiting for that.

tara73

harr wrote: »

Shocking with remembering birthdays myself..the calendar on iPhone is a god send ..put it in once and press to repeat yearly.

This. Tbh there's no real excuse these days do forget someones birthday. Everybody has a Smartphone to put the date in and let it beep.

whiskeyman

Rekop dog wrote: »

Nah giving/receiving a gift or a nice gesture on a random day you/they don't expect are always far more meaningful imo. Birthdays like any other landmark days always have a bit of a contrived feeling off them. I'd never judge an other half on how they act on a birthday, more so as a whole.

Ah sure, no point getting anything for Christmas then..
I know where you're coming from, and it's like Valentine's...But that's for couples who understand each other's stance on such things. He's not going to understand how you both feel so early into the relationship. End of the day, the bf has called this one wrong.
The first birthday is a clear event to impress... heck, it's a simple job to remember and mark!
It's all about effort IMO.
I really hope he marks it and says sorry if forgotten. If not, I'd want to know he is putting effort in somewhere!!
I've heard about so many early relationships where one half just settles with someone who really couldn't be bothered

Big Bag of Chips

Well, script hasn't been back since 3:30 yesterday. So maybe he didn't forget it at all!

Dial Hard

tara73 wrote:

This. Tbh there's no real excuse these days do forget someones birthday. Everybody has a Smartphone to put the date in and let it beep.

I forgot my own 30th birthday. They're just not on some people's radar.

SB_Part2

Some people are just not into birthdays and don't see the big deal with them. TBH I stopped 'celebrating' my birthday when I was in my early 20s but even before then I was never really into them.

If someone gave me sh!te about forgetting their birthday I'd tell them to grow up.

pilly

It'll be OP's next birthday before we hear back what happened!!!

whiskeyman

SB_Part2 wrote: »

Some people are just not into birthdays and don't see the big deal with them.

But the OP does, and you'd expect a new other half to see what's the case.
The other half shouldn't assume they feel the same as them.
It's a birthday... I'd reckon the majority of people would appreciate at least having it marked, let alone a bit of a fuss made for them!



Anyway, reply back OP!
We all presume you've been whisked away for a week abroad now!

Stop asking for updates please, this is PI and posters are here for help, it isn't a soap

homerjay2005

while birthdays are important to some people, theres many people out there who absolutely hate them and/or wish they didnt have to have anything to do with them. there could be historical issues, or many reasons why they dont like them. ive known (and dated) girls who had zero interest in their birthday and didnt want a fuss at all and would rather not even bring it up.

8 months is not a long time to get to know somebody. if/when the OP shows it does mean something to her, then he may begin to learn how important it is. to suggest dumping him over it, is just outright bizzare.

SB_Part2

whiskeyman wrote: »

But the OP does, and you'd expect a new other half to see what's the case.
The other half shouldn't assume they feel the same as them.
It's a birthday... I'd reckon the majority of people would appreciate at least having it marked, let alone a bit of a fuss made for them!



Anyway, reply back OP!
We all presume you've been whisked away for a week abroad now!

That's fair enough. I assume (probably wrongly!) most people feel the same way as me regarding birthdays unless they tell me otherwise. Since it's a relatively new relationship it'll probably be a learning curve for both of them.

Script

I can confirm he did forget - at the time i wrote the post he had already text me about something else and we had a phone call where was no mention of it so I had a distinct feeling he had.

There was Facebook posts put up and then he did text about 3 in the afternoon

He did turn up with flowers which were lovely and said he had a surprise planned for Sunday.

We were going away coincidentally to see a friend of mine whose birthday it was. No special meals or anything but that wasn't a problem.

Sunday came - No surprise, it was a lie.

We had it out, I took some space - I think it's too trivial a thing to break up over but I'm a romantic - all I want is some thought and romance, even just a card, not a goddamn trip to Paris.

neonsofa

Script wrote: »

I can confirm he did forget - at the time i wrote the post he had already text me about something else and we had a phone call where was no mention of it so I had a distinct feeling he had.

There was Facebook posts put up and then he did text about 3 in the afternoon

He did turn up with flowers which were lovely and said he had a surprise planned for Sunday.

We were going away coincidentally to see a friend of mine whose birthday it was. No special meals or anything but that wasn't a problem.

Sunday came - No surprise, it was a lie.

We had it out, I took some space - I think it's too trivial a thing to break up over but I'm a romantic - all I want is some thought and romance, even just a card, not a goddamn trip to Paris.

Ah that's a shame. Tbh it's fair enough if he forgot it, things happen. But when he realised this he told you he had a surprise planned (presumably because he knew that was expected/the done thing) and then he couldn't even bother planning a surprise now that he knows you're expecting it? (Expecting it because thats what he told you to expect!) I'd be a bit pissed too and I would've brought it up. That to me would be more of an issue than a genuine mistake of forgetting. Glad it's all OK now though and happy belated birthday.

Bandana boy

Ah , That is disappointing
Anybody can forget and he would not be the first person to lie about a surprise to buy himself time , but to then not use that time is just plain wrong.
I would say that says more than forgetting on Friday , either come clean on Friday or throw Money at the problem on Sat to solve it .
I hope he makes a real effort to make it up to you.

pilly

Something to take into consideration though OP is maybe he's short of money at the moment?

Script

@neonsufa @bandana boy - yep if he had have come clean, said it, bought me something silly to make up for it or just say look we can go to the shops and buy something as we went away to a city - I would have been delighted. I got over the forgetting by the time we were leaving to go on our trip - but the lie just compunded it.

@pilly - I would completely agree if that were the case - but I wasn't expecting or wanting anything grand, a card and a emoji coushion would have done it. Aside from that, money wasn't the problem.