Is it wrong to feel proud of yourself?

nerobert

Bit of a stupid thread really but just wanna see what people think. Sitting here lying on the couch thinking about my life and I can't help but feel happy and proud and how well things are going for me. I'm 18, rent my own place, good job, doing well in college, car, gorgeous bird - things couldn't be going better. I feel really proud at how I've turned out compared to a lot of other people my age, I don't mean to boast and I'm certainly not because I'm far from rich, I do struggle by a lot, but what I'm trying to say is that whenever I feel happy and proud at what I've become, I always feel guilty - almost like I'm making myself out to be something better than I really am. So is it just me or does anyone else feel like this?

bodice ripper

It's easy when you are 18. Try it with 20 more years of emotional baggage and see how you get on.

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly

I'm your polar opposite. I focus on my faults and failings, of which there are many.

nerobert

Mr.S wrote: »

**** that.

OP feel proud, your doing what some people 10 years older then you still don't do!

Interested to hear how you can work full time (assuming FT if you afford your own place?) and in college though! How do you have the time?

I don't work full time I wouldn't be able for that it's not really my own place I rent an apartment with someone from the same college, but you know what I mean I'm away from home. rent really is dirt cheap, it's the only thing that made me move out haha.

Stravos Murphy

Feel proud be hard.

Birneybau

Only if you're Irish

Arghus

It's my natural graceful humility that I'm most proud of.

Tin Foil Hat

Stravos Murphy wrote: »

Feel proud be hard.

He's 18. It goes without saying!

Mr. FoggPatches

Wait til you trade the bird in for a woman. You'll be proud then.

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly

You're deluding yourself. You haven't split the atom. Moving into a cheap house share is now 'something to be proud of'??

B.A._Baracus

Nothing wrong with feeling proud. Especially the things you have said. There is a big difference between being proud and being arrogant about something.

Widdershins

It's great. Life's not always easy and it's good to appreciate what you've achieved. Well done! Nothing wrong about it unless you're looking down on others, whose circumstances and outcomes are not going to be identical to yours.

LETHAL LADY

As the proverb goes 'Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall'.
Seriously though, nothing wrong with being happy OP.

bodice ripper

Mr.S wrote: »

**** that.

OP feel proud, your doing what some people 10 years older then you still don't do!

Interested to hear how you can work full time (assuming FT if you afford your own place?) and in college though! How do you have the time?

Oh no, more power to him. It'll get tougher is all I am saying...

prinzeugen

nerobert wrote: »

Bit of a stupid thread really but just wanna see what people think. Sitting here lying on the couch thinking about my life and I can't help but feel happy and proud and how well things are going for me. I'm 18, rent my own place, good job, doing well in college, car, gorgeous bird - things couldn't be going better. I feel really proud at how I've turned out compared to a lot of other people my age, I don't mean to boast and I'm certainly not because I'm far from rich, I do struggle by a lot, but what I'm trying to say is that whenever I feel happy and proud at what I've become, I always feel guilty - almost like I'm making myself out to be something better than I really am. So is it just me or does anyone else feel like this?

Question.. At 18 have you paid for this all yourself or is mummy and daddy paying for it or did you invent an app or something?

Don't get used to it either. Everyone has a major fall in life at some point and has to rebuild or change.

I am proud of many things, but 99% are achievements or things I have done for others.

Getting someone back with CPR/AED last year being in the top 5 anyway.

That's what you get remembered for.

Not money.

endacl

My only suggestion would be to drop the 'bird'. Not the bird herself. Just the term.

RobertKK

Feel proud about yourself, but know your limitations so you stay grounded.

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly

It's something hundreds of thousands of 18 year olds do - it's nothing special. This is nothing more than a celebration of the utterly mundane.

Bambi985

Easy enough when you're 18 and everything is a novelty. living without the mammy dinners and driving your first car and meeting new friends and having the craic at college, falling in love for the first time...ah love's young dream. Sure it's pissing roses everywhere.

it takes time and pain and lots of large and little let-downs to really learn about what life is about. To really see the thorns. If you can manage to maintain the self-pride through all of that, when life has left you with egg on your face far too many times, well then you truly have something to be proud of.

LETHAL LADY

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly wrote: »

It's something hundreds of thousands of 18 year olds do - it's nothing special. This is nothing more than a celebration of the utterly mundane.

G'wan ya big cynic! I think the OP is mistaking happiness with pride tbh.

Irish Guitarist

I had a lovely bird once. I didn't feed him enough and he died. Rest in peace Joey. You were a great little budgie. Sorry I didn't take better care of you but in my defence I was only about seven.

nerobert

prinzeugen wrote: »

Question.. At 18 have you paid for this all yourself or is mummy and daddy paying for it or did you invent an app or something?

Don't get used to it either. Everyone has a major fall in life at some point and has to rebuild or change.

I am proud of many things, but 99% are achievements or things I have done for others.

Getting someone back with CPR/AED last year being in the top 5 anyway.

That's what you get remembered for.

Not money.

Mammy and daddy are paying for nothing, I am not trying to boast or show off, I don't live in a penthouse and drive a BMW! I'm just wondering is it strange/weird to be proud of being able to do what some people consider normal or what some people struggle to do, that's all.

mullyboyee

Yes be proud of yourself. Be able to recognise when you've made positive steps forward without becoming arrogant and believing these steps are more important than they actually are. Which it seems like you have done so far no matter what some snide posters in here have said.

prinzeugen

nerobert wrote: »

Mammy and daddy are paying for nothing, I am not trying to boast or show off, I don't live in a penthouse and drive a BMW! I'm just wondering is it strange/weird to be proud of being able to do what some people consider normal or what some people struggle to do, that's all.

You will feel the need to continue this lifestyle even if things go wrong. You will end up in debt. Been there and got the shirt. (At 21)

You left home and are self supporting. Great. That is something to be proud of.

To some of us that is nothing. We had no choice.

Trust me, there are many, many things that could change your life in the next few years.

harry Bailey esq

nerobert wrote: »

Bit of a stupid thread really but just wanna see what people think. Sitting here lying on the couch thinking about my life and I can't help but feel happy and proud and how well things are going for me. I'm 18, rent my own place, good job, doing well in college, car, gorgeous bird

Ross o carrol kelly is a boardsie!!! Who'd have thought

Colser

nerobert wrote: »

Mammy and daddy are paying for nothing, I am not trying to boast or show off, I don't live in a penthouse and drive a BMW! I'm just wondering is it strange/weird to be proud of being able to do what some people consider normal or what some people struggle to do, that's all.

I think you should be very proud of yourself to be independent and supporting yourself at 18 and if you were my son I would be very proud of you too.Hope it all continues going well for you.

nerobert

nerobert wrote: »

Bit of a stupid thread really but just wanna see what people think. Sitting here lying on the couch thinking about my life and I can't help but feel happy and proud and how well things are going for me. I'm 18, rent my own place, good job, doing well in college, car, gorgeous bird - things couldn't be going better. I feel really proud at how I've turned out compared to a lot of other people my age, I don't mean to boast and I'm certainly not because I'm far from rich, I do struggle by a lot, but what I'm trying to say is that whenever I feel happy and proud at what I've become, I always feel guilty - almost like I'm making myself out to be something better than I really am. So is it just me or does anyone else feel like this?

Fair play to you. Your dead right to feel happy. Keep that mindset because it will stand to you in the future.

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly wrote: »

It's something hundreds of thousands of 18 year olds do - it's nothing special. This is nothing more than a celebration of the utterly mundane.

Plenty of 18-22 years live away from home....but are far far from independent let me tell you.

worded

endacl wrote: »

My only suggestion would be to drop the 'bird'. Not the bird herself. Just the term.

I hate dat in a Fella

Bitchs be hating that bird talk

Dirty Dingus McGee

It is if you are only 18 and haven't actually achieved something absolutely fantastic at that stage in your life which you haven't.

You sound like some 50 year in your opening post.

As someone said earlier there is difference between happiness and pride.

Your Face

Be proud and don't forget how later on in life.
A lot of my friends have ruined themselves with all the baggage they've picked up.

CalamariFritti

Nothing wrong with being in a good spot and feeling good about it. If pride is the right word for it I don't know, 'cos usually there is a slightly show offish connotation to it. But generally speaking well done to you, enjoy the good times.

timmy880

You're doing fine. Stay humble and work towards your goals. You're only 18, there's plenty of ups and downs ahead.

And don't say bird, makes you sound like a bit of tool!

jester77

bodice ripper wrote: »

It's easy when you are 18. Try it with 20 more years of emotional baggage and see how you get on.

BS, I'm more than 20 years older than the OP and feel like he does.

Don't let people drag you down, it's a really horrible trait that Irish people have, they would rather see you fail than be happy for your success. If you ever emirate it is one of the first things that will be very apparent, begrudgery is thankfully not a global trait.

I do not think feeling any emotion is bad or wrong. Even the emotions like "hate" that get a bad rep.

It is what that emotion does to you - or you do with it - that defines the rightness or wrongness of it. But if you simply feel proud of yourself - and this pride leads to no negative attitude or actions towards others from you - then go for it.

Katgurl

OP you are definitely right to feel proud of yourself.

Life is not easy at 18 despite what people here are telling you. Yes life will throw more curve balls but you will also develop better coping skills. I work with teenagers and they face challenges my generation never had to worry about.

Living out of home, going to college, working and having a great girlfriend are definitely a credit to you. Yes you should be proud of yourslef.

But what is more apparent from your post actually is happiness and I think it's so important to stop and appreciate the good times when they are there. The other posters are correct when they say good times don't last forecer but neither do bad times; that's just the nature of life. It's important to enjoy being in the moment and it makes the hard times more bearable too.

Katgurl

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

It is if you are only 18 and haven't actually achieved something absolutely fantastic at that stage in your life which you haven't.

You sound like some 50 year in your opening post.

As someone said earlier there is difference between happiness and pride.

Subtitles please

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

wakka12

Wow, well Id be proud if I were you too. I am curious as to how you manage to have the time to go to college ( and do well) and work (enough to rent your own place , which is quite a large amount of money) and find the time to maintain a relationship with your girlfriend as well.

I can barely manage college on its own and doing decent, thank god I have my parents financial support or I would be royally ****ed

steddyeddy

Always take a step back to see how you're doing now, and to recognise how far you've come.

sbsquarepants

OP - fúck the begrudgers.
It's perfectly fine to feel good about yourself and how you're doing. Most 18 year olds I know can hardly wipe their own arses, you're doing great.
Good for you.

Mr.Plough

nerobert wrote: »

Bit of a stupid thread really but just wanna see what people think. Sitting here lying on the couch thinking about my life and I can't help but feel happy and proud and how well things are going for me. I'm 18, rent my own place, good job, doing well in college, car, gorgeous bird - things couldn't be going better. I feel really proud at how I've turned out compared to a lot of other people my age, I don't mean to boast and I'm certainly not because I'm far from rich, I do struggle by a lot, but what I'm trying to say is that whenever I feel happy and proud at what I've become, I always feel guilty - almost like I'm making myself out to be something better than I really am. So is it just me or does anyone else feel like this?

You're 18, you havn't 'turned out' yet. Be happy with what you have, but don't be satisfied otherwise you'll stagnate.

And by all means be proud and enjoy the good times, because you will most certainly have bad times. Life doesn't fvck around

ScumLord

nerobert wrote: »

Mammy and daddy are paying for nothing, I am not trying to boast or show off, I don't live in a penthouse and drive a BMW!

After hours is for penthouse and bmw owners exclusively, no riff raff allowed.

NickNickleby

I don;t think there's any harm in acknowledging one's own accomplishments. And sometimes, those might be minor in the eyes of others, hey-ho..

A various times I've reviewed my progress and felt things had always turned out for the better. At those times, perhaps because of some innate guilt about it, I've thought "ah well, I was in the right place at the right time" . BUT, on reflection, I now realise I was in the right place at the right time because I worked hard to be there. And then I realised I was in fact minimising my own successes (however minor) to appease the begrudgers , who were probably imaginary anyway. BTW, there have been downsides, but I ALWAYS concentrate on the positives. Keeps me sane.

There's a very important distinction here though, I've only ever done these personal reviews in my head. Occasionally,when they were younger I'd use a particular incident to illuminate one of my many lectures to my now adult children about hard work paying off. Well, it did for me..and it has for them as well.
So OP, congratulate yourself on your successes, and use that to remind yourself that you ACHIEVED them, which is the very best way. Keep it up.

Finally, as has been said by others, you're an adult now, 'bird' is not an adult way to refer to your girlfriend, although I'm sure you didn't intend to denigrate her.

Alpha_zero

Pride is a sin

sbsquarepants

NickNickleby wrote: »

Finally, as has been said by others, you're an adult now, 'bird' is not an adult way to refer to your girlfriend, although I'm sure you didn't intend to denigrate her.

Bird is fine ffs.
If it upsets your "bird" then stop, who gives a toss what anyone else thinks about it?

There are these things called terms of endearment you know. People spend way too much time being offended these days.

whoopsadoodles

Too many people never live to be happy with they things they have, and instead focus on the things they do not have.

Be proud of your achievements and don't be ashamed to be proud of them. If you can live the rest of your life like that, you'll always be content.

Alpha_zero

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

Too many people never live to be happy with they things they have, and instead focus on the things they do not have.

Be proud of your achievements and don't be ashamed to be proud of them. If you can live the rest of your life like that, you'll always be content.

No one here familiar with hubris! He claimed his pride was borne from how much better his life has turned out that other people he knows. You think that will bring happiness

superfurry1

If it makes you feel any better, I've learned that life is just one crushing defeat after another until you finally just wish Flanders was dead.:D

whoopsadoodles

Alpha_zero wrote: »

No one here familiar with hubris! He claimed his pride was borne from how much better his life has turned out that other people he knows. You think that will bring happiness

That's not being proud of what you've achieved. That's being proud of what others haven't.

Not the same thing.

Summer wind

You have worked hard at school and earned a place in college and are doing well in your life. Of course you should feel proud of yourself. You have a good head on your shoulders and a smile on your face. It's what every parent wishes for their child. Keep up the good work:)