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Is it rude to give joint gifts?

  • 07-12-2016 8:11am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 105 ✭✭ Slime Princess


    Just wanted a few opinions on whether or not it is rude to give gifts jointly from a couple.

    My husband and I married early this year but have been together a long time (12+ years before we married) and have been giving joint gifts for a good few years now. Sometimes for Christmas, sometimes birthdays and usually for close friends, family members only.

    It was recently mentioned to me that we shouldn't be doing this as this is seen as being very rude. We should be giving present as one from each, especially to family members and shouldn't be so "stingy". :(

    I'd like to add that its not a case of one of us just signing a card on present the other has bought, we usually we pool what we would have spent separately towards being able to get a better gift and put a good amount of thought into whats being bought between us. This year however we've had to scale back as a new home and new baby mean that we aren't as able to spend as much as previous years.

    I thought we'd had our Present/Santa shopping done at this stage but now I'm panicking about whether I need go out and get a whole other set of presents and how to afford it! :(:(


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 23,323 ✭✭✭✭ Peregrinus


    This is a common practice, and I have never heard that it is rude.

    It would never occur to me, for example, that my wife and I should give our daughter separate presents at Christmas. As far as I know, it has never occurred to our daughter that we should do so either.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,180 ✭✭✭ the_pen_turner


    Ah here. If never heard of separate presents.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,058 whoopsadoodles


    Of course not. It's the norm.

    How can it even be rude to give a gift at all?!

    Don't worry, you're doing nothing wrong.

    I'd hazard a guess that the person is single and disappointed they're buying two gifts and getting one in return. Unfortunately that's the way it works out sometimes.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,373 ✭✭✭ allym


    So this person thinks you should each be getting a present for every parent, parent in law and sibling (assuming you buy presents for these people)?
    I'm sure some people work that way, but any couples I know give joint presents.

    Also if you're spending the same amount of money on one present as you would on two separate presents, I don't see how that's stingy?

    I'd keep going with your plan and try not to let it bother you! 😊


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,560 Wile E. Coyote


    It's common practice for couples to buy joint presents. Whats rude is to pull someone up on it and call them stingy.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭ Colser


    That's ridiculous..ignore who ever told you that and continue as normal.


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,772 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ Toots


    Whoever said that has some cheek IMO. It's not at all unusual for couples to give joint gifts, on the contrary I'd think it was a bit odd if any of the couples I knew gave me a separate gift from each of them.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,396 ✭✭✭ theteal


    Who even says such a thing?

    Somebody who's getting fcuk all from me anymore


  • Registered Users Posts: 38 ✭✭✭ missvicky


    Not rude at all. We have been doing the joint gift and always recieve a joint gift. Who ever said that you is being ridiculous.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,975 ✭✭✭ DavyD_83


    Definitely don't worry about buying another set of presents!
    Sounds like the person raising the issue is the rude and unreasonable one.
    We'd definitely go the joint present route for family members on both sides, although we probably do tend to just sign the card for each others really. I think my wife would usually try give my mum something small, and is usually give something like a bottle of port when we call to my in laws.
    On the other side, we're completely happy to get joint present, for the house or whatever. At this point I'm not sure I'd even mind if we got nothing,
    Christmas is now all about my daughters.


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,216 dbagman


    Well there's a few pound saved on one present and a shorter Christmas card list. Should count themselves lucky to get anyting all.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 466 ✭✭ Elise Ugly Robin


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users Posts: 665 ✭✭✭ idnkph


    What kind of a horrible person says that? I wouldn't be giving them anything for saying that's rude. They are the rude ones for suggesting it.
    Maybe it was said as a joke?


  • Registered Users Posts: 532 beechwood55


    How about not just getting into the present buying circuit? We agreed with all siblings on both sides a number of years ago to cut out the present buying for all and sundry and just do a Kris Kingle present - one couple buy for another couple, limit of €40. When nieces and nephews started to arrive we agreed - again mutually - that only godparents would buy for godchildren.
    It's worked very well over the years.


  • Posts: 17,733 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    .................

    It was recently mentioned to me that we shouldn't be doing this as this is seen as being very rude. .............

    I'd be giving that person a combined gift of SFA going forward.


  • Registered Users Posts: 68,333 ✭✭✭✭ seamus


    I would find it incredibly odd to get a present from both partners in a marriage or a long-term relationship. I'd immediately assume one didn't know the other had already got the gift.

    It sounds like whoever told you this was "rude" is just chancing their arm for a second pressie.


  • Registered Users Posts: 26,266 ✭✭✭✭ freshpopcorn


    I'd show your friend this thread and explain to them their totally wrong. I don't think think I've ever heard of a married couple giving separate presents for Christmas/events!


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