Feeling down over Christmas life is in a mess

spud82

Hi guys


This year has been incredibly different. I was trying to set up my own business and it didn't work. I had to move home too.

I am finding it impossible to find work and I mean impossible I have sent out my CV everywhere, met career advisors, had my CV done over my experts etc. I have a MA and two degrees too, and I am actually heart broken not be working.

I am the only one of my friends not working and it soul destroying, My baby brother just bought a house with his fiancee and got a permanent job. I feel like a massive looser and failure in comparison. I mean who wants to be a boomerang child

I have no idea what to do. I apply every day for jobs phone and sometimes call in to follow up. If I go back to college I will get no financial aid but I think it's something I will have to consider or I will sink further into depression. I am dreading christmas and telling everyone I have no job, i just feel so alone and depressed.

eeguy

What is your MA and degrees in?

Go to careers advice and get someone to look over your CV.
You can also get interview coaching.

me_irl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ

vicwatson

spud82 wrote: »

Hi guys


This year has been incredibly different. I was trying to set up my own business and it didn't work. I had to move home too.

I am finding it impossible to find work and I mean impossible I have sent out my CV everywhere, met career advisors, had my CV done over my experts etc. I have a MA and two degrees too, and I am actually heart broken not be working.

I am the only one of my friends not working and it soul destroying, My baby brother just bought a house with his fiancee and got a permanent job. I feel like a massive looser and failure in comparison. I mean who wants to be a boomerang child

I have no idea what to do. I apply every day for jobs phone and sometimes call in to follow up. If I go back to college I will get no financial aid but I think it's something I will have to consider or I will sink further into depression. I am dreading christmas and telling everyone I have no job, i just feel so alone and depressed.

Go see your GP and have a chat about your mood for starters, hopefully that's the first step on the road to finding yourself a job. Good luck

Surreptitious

Career advice from the college you graduated in might help. You might have to think outside the box a bit when it comes to what jobs you apply for. Good luck.

punisher5112

Personal issues may be a better place.

After hours not so good for these things.

Just keep looking are you applying for any job or just a certain type.

spud82

MA in Journalism Degree in English. Have gone to career advisor twice, and done CV/Interview workshops. Had a job interview in a university and was told afterwards by someone working there they already had someone hired and they were just making numbers up by having interviews this happened twice. I also had another interview where they area manager hired me, but never told the store manager, and when I went in to meet him he had hired two other people and had never heard of me. The other interview i had wanted me to work for cash in hand and below the minimum wage

petrolcan

punisher5112 wrote: »

Personal issues may be a better place.

After hours not so good for these things.

Someone says that every time a poster looks for advice.

Despite all the flaws of AH, I'd say it's a great place to look for advice.

SEPT 23 1989

How can someone with an MA and two degrees be considered a failure?

Best of luck

frozenfrozen

being depressed won't get you a job, and if the only thing you're depressed about is not having a job then don't get depressed over not having a job. If there's more to it then go to your GP and get it sorted out sooner rather than later.

A massive amount of people are unemployed at the moment, and loads have had to move back home, it's no big deal. You can be glad all your friends and your brother etc have jobs, they won't look down on you, they would all love if you had a job and that'll happen in time so there's no point feeling embarrassed or anything about not having a job right now.

You aren't getting turned down for all the jobs because you're not good or not capable its simply that somebody else made a better impression or had a special bit of experience that made them more suitable for the job at that time. Keep applying and working on your CV and honing it to each job you're applying to and you will eventually find a job that suits you and suits the employer. As you said there you are making good enough impressions in interviews so it's just a matter of time.

spud82

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

How can someone with an MA and two degrees be considered a failure?

Best of luck

Cos I amn't working and have to sign on every week. It's so soul destroying and have to put up with so much ****e from the social welfare.

brevity

No one should think you are a failure because your business venture didn't work out. Those that do are short sighted. It's a brave person that tries to do something like this.

Christmas is a rough time to be job searching. A lot of companies will be waiting until the new year so don't get disheartened if you do get a job immediately.

Be nice to yourself. Don't beat yourself up over this. Take some time to do somethings that you were never able to do. Get out for walks, go see some free gigs/tours/exhibitions. Write some short stories. Try not to get into a spiral of hate towards yourself.

With your qualifications and experience something will turn up.

petrolcan

What about getting a seasonal job to tide you over the Christmas period? It might not be much but at least you'll be working and there's nothing stopping you applying for other jobs in the meantime (I've always found it easier to get another job whilst in a job IYKWIM)

Fair play for having a go at starting a business. Braver than me.

Outlaw Pete

Focus on what is good about your life, even if it is very very small.

I remember reading An Evil Cradling by Brian Keenan and in it (at around 4 years captivity mark) he began losing his mind and what saved him was focusing on the tiniest of things which gave him (and John) pleasure, like the colour of the food they were given, or sound in the distance. They both found that attention focused on the negative for too long and they would become consumed by all they didn't have, or how trapped they were. It would eat them up and they would start losing it.

No matter what you have in life, there will always be things you don't have, even rich healthy fcukers with yachts can become consumed with what they don't have. Just appreciate the small stuff... be consumed by what you do have and everything else that comes your way will be a bonus.

petrolcan

spud82 wrote: »

Cos I amn't working and have to sign on every week. It's so soul destroying and have to put up with so much ****e from the social welfare.

I've never understood why the DSS make life so hard. They exist for this very reason.

spud82

petrolcan wrote: »

I've never understood why the DSS make life so hard. They exist for this very reason.

They are unreal. They were like it's not my fault you studied what you did, so get over yourself:mad:

munster87

Don't know much about journalism but could you do some freelance and get your name out there or possibly get your foot in somewhere that way? If going back to college is what you think will make you happy then do everything you can to make this happen. It'll be worth it in the end. And don't let the opinions of others with regards to your employment bother you. It's none of their business.

Surreptitious

spud82 wrote: »

They are unreal. They were like it's not my fault you studied what you did, so get over yourself:mad:

There's nothing wrong with what you studied, it's obviously something you succeeded in. Have you tried freelance writing? Journalism can be a saturated market. Don't give up, maybe try again with fresh eyes in the new year.

Goya

petrolcan wrote: »

I've never understood why the DSS make life so hard. They exist for this very reason.

I guess it's because can you only imagine the self entitled, aggressive arseholes they have to deal with regularly so they become jaded. It's not fair of them to take their frustration out on genuine people in need of a helping hand though (and who are probably easier to be hostile to).

JeffKenna

Unfortunately education has no real benefit in the job market apart from getting your foot in the door. After that it's all based on experience so despite having 2 degrees and a masters you're really only at a college grad level. Are these the jobs you're applying for?

spud82

Surreptitious wrote: »

There's nothing wrong with what you studied, it's obviously something you succeeded in. Have you tried freelance writing? Journalism can be a saturated market. Don't give up, maybe try again with fresh eyes in the new year.

Yes. journalism has taken a huge hit this year. Used to do a lot for a company but than they disbanded I was also social media campaigner for a TD who got elected and made her election video and posters etc

SEPT 23 1989

spud82 wrote: »

They are unreal. They were like it's not my fault you studied what you did, so get over yourself:mad:

Those tools are stuck there for the rest of their days in their mind numbing soul destroying jobs where everyone across the counter hates their guts

spud82

JeffKenna wrote: »

Unfortunately education has no real benefit in the job market apart from getting your foot in the door. After that it's all based on experience so despite having 2 degrees and a masters you're really only at a college grad level. Are these the jobs you're applying for?

Yes,and admin jobs too. I was told than one admin position in Cork had over 85 applicants in the first few hours!!

noaddedsugar

Have you tried and getting work through those people per hour type websites? I have a friend in the UK who earns ok through them, she does copy writing, proofreading, editing, that sort of thing. You do start off on low enough until you get your ratings up I think but with your quals you should be well able for it.

spud82

noaddedsugar wrote: »

Have you tried and getting work through those people per hour type websites? I have a friend in the UK who earns ok through them, she does copy writing, proofreading, editing, that sort of thing. You do start off on low enough until you get your ratings up I think but with your quals you should be well able for it.

I most google them thanks

Table Top Joe

I'm currently having one of my better Christmases, engaged, hoping to buy a house within the next year or two and work is going well ("well good for ****ing You!" I hear you Say).......thing is I've been where you are, more or less, I had a horrible xmas a few years back, in my late 20s in my childhood bedroom just after being made redundant feeling like a right failure, friends were off buying houses etc......I used to wake up with tension headaches from the stress and I know that dread of hearing "what do you do for Living?"....especially when it's from a member of the opposite Sex on a night out, that's great Craic altogether


Point is my friend what your going through is temporary, being out of work in this day and age in ireland is what it is, I have no doubt things will turn around for you I just don't know when, I do know they will get better though because they always do, Christmas is an awful time when life isn't working out but go meet your mates for a few jars over Christmas cause you'll more than likely be working this time next year and won't get as much time too

Surreptitious

spud82 wrote: »

Yes. journalism has taken a huge hit this year. Used to do a lot for a company but than they disbanded I was also social media campaigner for a TD who got elected and made her election video and posters etc

I did the same degree as you but didn't follow it up with Journalism. I really do understand where you're coming from. I think a new fresh approach is needed and there's some great advice on this thread already.

9or10

Spud just wanted to say - Hang in there

Christmas is the fcuking pits for a lot of people. Thats excacerbated by the "We're simply having a wonderful Christmas time" mentality.

All the best.

BTW my new dog is called Spud

Kal El

Flimpson wrote: »

I guess it's because can you only imagine the self entitled, aggressive arseholes they have to deal with regularly so they become jaded. It's not fair of them to take their frustration out on genuine people in need of a helping hand though (and who are probably easier to be hostile to).

Ah some of the people who work down there are dinosaurs. They change how they feel about someone depending on what there getting. Were always rude when I was getting jobseekers for 9 months, now that I get back to education they are going out of there way to be nice.

petrolcan

spud82 wrote: »

They are unreal. They were like it's not my fault you studied what you did, so get over yourself:mad:

More like jealousy. I have a friend who did it for a while, he classed it as soul destroying being unable to help those that were genuinely in need.

KERSPLAT!

I've no advice that hasn't already been given but I would like to wish you all the best with work and have a happy Christmas

yosser hughes

MA in journalism and a degree in English. What's the other degree in?
Either way, you've achieved a lot, proven you can commit to something and have a good standard of education.
If it were me, I'd move abroad and teach English. Loads of jobs in that and with a Masters you could get a University job in the Middle East.

spud82

yosser hughes wrote: »

MA in journalism and a degree in English. What's the other degree in?
Either way, you've achieved a lot, proven you can commit to something and have a good standard of education.
If it were me, I'd move abroad and teach English. Loads of jobs in that and with a Masters you could get a University job in the Middle East.

Customer/Client Relationship Management. Ive worked for a lot of people too but they were all job bridge/CE schemes

Goya

spud82 wrote: »

Customer/Client Relationship Management. Ive worked for a lot of people too but they were all job bridge/CE schemes

You seem overqualified for entry level jobs, but perhaps not experienced enough for specialised roles.

If you're in Cork, try all the call centres - minimum wage but it's a job, and it's more than the dole and if you do well you can work your way up.

utyh2ikcq9z76b

Stop defining yourself through work or you will never be happy, pick something you have complete control over

appledrop

Spud just wanted to say dont give up. I remember during the height of the recession a good few members of our extended family were unemployed. Some did retrain + others found jobs once things started to pick up. They are all working now + things have worked out for them so hang it there.

Since you have plenty of qualifications I don't really think going back to college is the answer unless you are going to totally change your career direction + go into something like IT.

You are better off as others said trying to get more experience even if some is voluntary. I would also agree with the idea about once you have a job any job it is always seems to be easier to get the actual one you want. Employers like to see people have a work ethic even if it's in a job that are over qualified for.

spud82

Flimpson wrote: »

You seem overqualified for entry level jobs, but perhaps not experienced enough for specialised roles.

If you're in Cork, try all the call centres - minimum wage but it's a job, and it's more than the dole and if you do well you can work your way up.

I tried call centres when I was studying and it wasn't for me. I was told by my former boss that I had to much of a "heart" for making cold calls and needed to be less emphatic :rolleyes:

maudgonner

You're not a loser Spud, you're just in a tough spot at the moment.

I work in a different area of Media and I've noticed a big slowdown lately - the recession has just kept coming and coming and there's been no recovery, just more cutbacks. And journalism is probably suffering the worst out of all branches of media.

So basically it's the industry that's a little fúcked right now, not you. Try not to take it personally or let it knock your confidence. And you are most definitely not alone.

If all else fails, would you consider teaching English abroad for a year or two? Could be the start of a whole new adventure!

petrolcan

spud82 wrote: »

I tried call centres when I was studying and it wasn't for me. I was told by my former boss that I had to much of a "heart" for making cold calls and needed to be less emphatic :rolleyes:

What about something within the social care sector? And I'm not talking elderly.

aaronjumper

Hmmm. What about a picture to cheer you up?

http://cdn3-www.dogtime.com/assets/uploads/2015/07/file_22161_dog-loves-cows-2.jpg

It's adorable.

spud82

petrolcan wrote: »

What about something within the social care sector? And I'm not talking elderly.

If I go back to college Ill be cut off the Social Welfare you see. I would go abroad but my partner is here, and has a great job so don't know what to do. If I have nothing by summer Ill be going to New Zealand

spud82

Thanks for all the lovely replies xxx

nice_guy80

Plenty of people out there with jobs also feel like crap at this time of year. I know I am always down at this time of year

Keep the head up, hopefully you'll get a break and land a job

lazybones32

spud82 wrote: »

Hi guys


This year has been incredibly different. I was trying to set up my own business and it didn't work. I had to move home too.

I am finding it impossible to find work and I mean impossible I have sent out my CV everywhere, met career advisors, had my CV done over my experts etc. I have a MA and two degrees too, and I am actually heart broken not be working.

I am the only one of my friends not working and it soul destroying, My baby brother just bought a house with his fiancee and got a permanent job. I feel like a massive looser and failure in comparison. I mean who wants to be a boomerang child

I have no idea what to do. I apply every day for jobs phone and sometimes call in to follow up. If I go back to college I will get no financial aid but I think it's something I will have to consider or I will sink further into depression. I am dreading christmas and telling everyone I have no job, i just feel so alone and depressed.

I know how you feel. I was struggling for a long time to find work that paid a decent wage and being on the dole can be soul-destroying; especially for a man, because our sense of identity and self-worth is tied into what we do.

You started a business and it failed - most new businesses do! Don't let that set-back keep you down. Don't let one failure define you.

There are jobs out there but maybe not in the field you want. If writing is your thing, are there any local newsletters or websites that you could donate a few hours a week to? It'd get you writing and get you out of the house. There are many opportunities out there for you but you just can't recognise them at the moment.

Find out if there's a Mens Shed nearby. You will learn a lot of other practical skills there and that could increase the possibility of earning a few extra euro and all while making a few new friends. Even if you're destined to be the worlds best writer, you'll need to learn other sh*t and be proficient at it. Be patient, be resilient and don't give in.

Fleawuss

AH can be fairly to the point but you've got a lot of solid advice here already. It's interesting that not one poster here considers you a failure OP. Not one. Draw breath and think about that.

I always end up saying the same thing in threads like this; it's along the lines of really standing back and taking stock. Really taking a cold look at things and doing that without being cold with yourself. Seriously forget about comparing yourself. The job doesn't make you worthwhile: you are already and maybe one small thing you could do is do something for you. Something you enjoy. Painting, rugby, meme making: do something just for the hell of it. And if you want a bit of ancient wisdom via Joseph Campbell, where you stumble, there your treasure is. I don't know what it means either! Don't stop believing!

lightspeed

spud82 wrote: »

If I go back to college Ill be cut off the Social Welfare you see. I would go abroad but my partner is here, and has a great job so don't know what to do. If I have nothing by summer Ill be going to New Zealand

You can do a springboard college course which is fully paid for my welfare and you continue to receive 100% of your dole money.

I was looking at a degree course in digital marketing with springboard. It might be worth your while checking it out.

http://www.webelevate.ie/our-courses/webelevate/

I registered for one in a completely different area with the view of someday starting a business myself but i dropped out then early on to continue studies for accounting.

Im only a week back working in a job now but i know how it feels. I said to myself id use time off to study for exams but i was so anxious out of work i couldnt concentrate, no motivation and was sleeping crazy hours.

Id suggest doing a list of what areas have high demand and what you might be interested in. If realistically, you would then need to go back and do a masters in that field, do that and then apply for graduate roles.

petrolcan

spud82 wrote: »

If I go back to college Ill be cut off the Social Welfare you see.

There's no need to go back to college. I know in the UK there are plenty of good companies & charities that will take on those that have no experience. I can't see that Ireland would be that much different. I prefer hiring those without experience as they don't had years of bad practice that needs to be hammered out.

All you need is common sense, the rest you could learn

HS3

I know it's a cliché and easier said than done, but don't look to what others are doing. It's all a case of the tortoise and the hare. Whatever successes it seems to you others are having, your time will come. You must be a hard worker to have accomplished all that you have. Most people, I would think, understand the climate we're living in and jobs are so difficult to come by. If they don't, or you feel someone is judging you, they're really not worth worrying about. Even when you get an interview it's all about your work experience, how are you supposed to gain any unless someone offers you work! Talk to a friend or family member about it, they will help you take the pressure off. Very beSt of luck!

HS3

I know it's a cliché and easier said than done, but don't look to what others are doing. It's all a case of the tortoise and the hare. Whatever successes it seems to you others are having, your time will come. You must be a hard worker to have accomplished all that you have. Most people, I would think, understand the climate we're living in and jobs are so difficult to come by. If they don't, or you feel someone is judging you, they're really not worth worrying about. Even when you get an interview it's all about your work experience, how are you supposed to gain any unless someone offers you work! Talk to a friend or family member about it, they will help you take the pressure off. Very beSt of luck!

RasTa

Take a break from Ireland. Go over to Korea or Japan and teach English for a year or two.

Irish Guitarist

If you have real friends they won't judge you for not having a job. And don't judge yourself because your life isn't the same as your brothers or anyone else.