Is this normal behavior these days?

LegacyUser

Been dating a guy for a couple of weeks. It's been lovely, I liked him instantly, we clicked, one date led to the next, all very natural. Maybe 2 dates a week, we both have busy lives but made time for each other. He took me to lovely restaurants, planned every date to a tee, always has bookings and reservations and never let me spend a cent (even when I begged that I wanted to contribute) and these were all NICE places. When I expressed how lovely it all was he told me to "get used to it"

He made lots of quips about the (near) future - Christmas gift references, how he'd deal with my brother when he met him based on stuff I'd told him. Told me less than a week ago about how he'd told his friends about me, said we'd spend lots of time together at Christmas. Made no attempts to sleep with me but mentioned last week that it was very important for me to know that that could wait, no issue, he just wants to get to know me.....we kissed a lot, both really fancied each other. I've basically been walking around feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. Until...

We had plans for Saturday night, he was stuck in work and pushed the time out by 30 mins just as I was about to leave my house. I got to where we were meeting and he was texting apologising, I popped in to my friends who were nearby for a few mins and then made my way to where he had booked the table, then eventually (after i'd been killing time for 25 mins) he called me to say he was really sorry but wasn't realistically going to make it and even if he did he'd had such a bad day he wouldn't be in the right form.

I was disappointed and I'm sure that came through in my voice, I was surprised too, a few hours earlier he was saying he couldn't wait to see me.

So, I went home and a couple of hours later I texted saying I hope everything got sorted at work. He said he hadn't and asked if I had stayed out and apologised, said he was incredibly sorry and embarassed.

I said I understood and that I could hear how under pressure he was in his voice, told him I'd grabbed a muffin and gone home to watch a movie, said I was disappointed but these things happen.

That was it then, he never texted me again on Sat, or yesterday. I'm really not in to games or see who text's first contests so I sent him a message this morning saying I'd expected we would chat yesterday but I knew he was busy and I myself got carried away with a lot of things (he knew) I had on and I had wanted to check in on him. I said I hoped he was OK and that things had gotten sorted in work.

He read the message but hasn't come back to me.

It all feels a bit weird today, I don't really have the patience for anyone who would mess me about like this, I understand him cancelling last minute, life happens, but I don't like how he handled it.

Is this how people date nowadays? I've been out of the game a while (We're both mid-thirties btw)

Big Bag of Chips

For a start why would he 'deal with your brother when he met him'? Sounds like a bit of a hardman/knobbish thing to say. Also it all sounds very intense. Planning all the dates, insisting on paying for everything. It sounds like he saw himself as some sort of hero and protector to you. Did you need to be protected?

To be honest, he sounds like the big man who talks a good talk. But it all seems a bit over the top and a bit much to be sincere.

As I have seen advised here quite often, romances that start of intense at the beginning seem to die a death quicker than most. Who knows? He could be married. You could be just one of many girls he's 'wooing'. I'm sure he'll be back at some stage, when whatever/whoever else is going on in his life isn't around as much. Or if he notices you're losing interest.

Up to you whether or not you let him back in. I think he sounds like a knob and too much like hard work!!

Edit: as we approach the end of the month and payday I wonder has the cash ran out and he doesn't want to give up the pretence of being flash?! You might get a few excuses from him between now and payday and suddenly he'll be back on the scene again...!

irishguy1983

3rd party opinions wrote: »

Been dating a guy for a couple of weeks. It's been lovely, I liked him instantly, we clicked, one date led to the next, all very natural. Maybe 2 dates a week, we both have busy lives but made time for each other. He took me to lovely restaurants, planned every date to a tee, always has bookings and reservations and never let me spend a cent (even when I begged that I wanted to contribute) and these were all NICE places. When I expressed how lovely it all was he told me to "get used to it"

He made lots of quips about the (near) future - Christmas gift references, how he'd deal with my brother when he met him based on stuff I'd told him. Told me less than a week ago about how he'd told his friends about me, said we'd spend lots of time together at Christmas. Made no attempts to sleep with me but mentioned last week that it was very important for me to know that that could wait, no issue, he just wants to get to know me.....we kissed a lot, both really fancied each other. I've basically been walking around feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. Until...

We had plans for Saturday night, he was stuck in work and pushed the time out by 30 mins just as I was about to leave my house. I got to where we were meeting and he was texting apologising, I popped in to my friends who were nearby for a few mins and then made my way to where he had booked the table, then eventually (after i'd been killing time for 25 mins) he called me to say he was really sorry but wasn't realistically going to make it and even if he did he'd had such a bad day he wouldn't be in the right form.

I was disappointed and I'm sure that came through in my voice, I was surprised too, a few hours earlier he was saying he couldn't wait to see me.


So, I went home and a couple of hours later I texted saying I hope everything got sorted at work. He said he hadn't and asked if I had stayed out and apologised, said he was incredibly sorry and embarassed.

I said I understood and that I could hear how under pressure he was in his voice, told him I'd grabbed a muffin and gone home to watch a movie, said I was disappointed but these things happen.

That was it then, he never texted me again on Sat, or yesterday. I'm really not in to games or see who text's first contests so I sent him a message this morning saying I'd expected we would chat yesterday but I knew he was busy and I myself got carried away with a lot of things (he knew) I had on and I had wanted to check in on him. I said I hoped he was OK and that things had gotten sorted in work.

He read the message but hasn't come back to me.

It all feels a bit weird today, I don't really have the patience for anyone who would mess me about like this, I understand him cancelling last minute, life happens, but I don't like how he handled it.

Is this how people date nowadays? I've been out of the game a while (We're both mid-thirties btw)

Hold tough I would say - you've only known him a bit so maybe there is some stuff going on his personal life/work life that you may not know about - I think he has enough credit in the bank to maybe give him the benefit of the doubt....I suppose I am saying take a chance...You may get burned but that's life....

Others will say he is messing you about - they could be right but I'd say take a chance...

beks101

Might be one discrepancy that he has a very good reason for, or might be that he's all talk and no walk. I guess you have to wait and see.

Personally I'd be put off by all the sweet talk and the attempts to woo thus far. That stuff used to have me running a mile. It just screams "professional dater" to me, someone who's done this with many women and who loves the adrenaline of someone new. Not someone who's interested in getting to know someone new to their very core without all the dating rules or someone who's interested in sharing and being honest and vulnerable without using any game face.

But wait and see. You've said your part, the ball is in his court. i suspect you'll have your answer pretty soon.

leggo

You've got spot-on advice so far that I can't really add to but, just to add to the conversation, what if he is just genuinely busy? There are times when it's not convenient for me to text someone I'm seeing for a day or two. Especially at the start, when I text or call them I want to have everything put aside so I can focus on that and enjoy it, so if stuff is building up I could easily go off the radar for a few hours or a couple of days.

Everything that's been said to you so far about the other points brought up is worth taking on board. But, also, don't overthink it either and create a problem where there may not be one.

Yeah, it is normal to have that kind of stuff happen and wreck your head at the start, and 99% of the time it's nothing. People say the best part of a relationship is the start. I HATE the start! All the anxiety and overthinking and the sheer weight and magnitude of each freaking text you send each other while you're still trying to figure out who this person is, what their intentions are, do they like you, can you trust them etc. It can be a melt but all those thoughts are normal and you shouldn't rush to judgement too quickly if you've been given a lot of good signs otherwise.

LegacyUser

This is going to sound very cynical, but it sounds like he's married/ in a relationship and the wife/gf was away or they were having 'problems' and you were the stand in. Or has a string of women that he's doing the same with. Sorry that sounds bad but I've seen it so many times, he was so sweet and so organised and practically bought your time to make sure you weren't going anywhere and were fully in his control of where he wanted to go and when. And now you've served the purpose you've been dropped. He may get back but really if he wanted to, he just would have replied to you when he's obviously read it and would not have cancelled at the last minute on a Saturday night like that, very bad form. He's just a messer and the way he was acting was very insincere, it was all for show, as the above poster said he wasn't really trying to get to know you on any deep level.

sReq | uTeK

Jesus Christ is this what the world has come to?
The cynical responses as if every person had a motive.

He's been all over you, wined and dined you and made you feel like you wanted, he couldn't get out and apologised. You said yourself he sounded stressed but disappointed.

Is it not logical that he had a **** day in work is under pressure, perhaps his time trying to get to see you 2 days a week when he has a busy life has put him behind.

It might just be me but I choose to see the good.

Also here is an idea.....give the guy a call???????

Flippyfloppy

I'd be quite suspicious that he's married as well Op, even though I know that's not what you're asking. That was my first thought when you said as every date is planned to a T. Planned by him I assume? A married man would have to plan in advance.

Of course, that might not be it! If things do sort out see how flexible he is when YOU do the planning.

Airyfairy12

Id be very wary of someone who insists on planning every date and paying for everything and not expect anything in return. When you mentioned he told you 'to get used to it' my alarm bells went off. Something about it doesnt sound right. Is he trying to buy you? He's trying to hard to impress in my opinion...
Healthy relationships are give and take, does he have a problem with the woman paying for the meal? or even half of the meal? If someone was insisting on paying for everything all of the time it would make me very uncomfortable.

Are you friends with him on facebook? its a good way to see if he's potentially married or involved with somebody else... if youre not connected on facebook id give him or some friends of his a quick facebook search to see if he's on it. Might sound stalkerish but it could save you a lot of drama in the long run.
My friend was seeing a married guy and only discovered he was married with kids when she stumbled across his facebook. He had been very convincing.
If he is just mad about you, head over heels id still find it concerning.. nobodies perfect and he shouldnt be putting you on a pedestal, that only results in him viewing you as a possession which can turn abusive and controlling. Also he's not perfect and he shouldnt be working so hard to convince you that he is. Once the 'honeymoon' phase is over and his true self starts to come out what will you be left with? He won't be still wining and dining you in 5 years.

Perhaps im being cynical, ive not had the greatest experiences with men so I second guess everything, maybe thats not the situation at all, perhaps he has been stressed and busy and he is absolutely mad about you and has no ulterior motives.. Why dont you ring him? id leave it till evening time, about 9 or so when you know he'll most likely be at home and available to take a call, that way youre not disturbing him and he'll be able to have a chat, its also not so late were he'll be about to head to bed.

I hope you'll update us and let us know whats happened, I feel incredibly cynical and untrusting but from experience its better to have doubts about someone than to trust them completely, especially so early on in the relationship. I hope it works out for you.

power pants

yes I think very much the norm for people on tinder.

Both sexes seem to be very intense, non stop incessant texting, over the top statements, and then typically, the guy disappears due to "work"

tinder is mostly used by people looking for sex, people who love to chase and then move on and people just plain desperate to be in a relationship at any cost


Apologies, just assumed it was tinder

MeatTwoVeg

Your issue is that he hasn't texted you in 36 hours?

Jesus, I wouldn't survive in today's dating world. The idea that you have to be in near constant contact or else it means your married or a 'professional dater' is quite frankly, bizarre.

My advice, is relax and stop over analyzing everything.

Yellow pack crisps

Xoxo34 wrote: »

This is going to sound very cynical, but it sounds like he's married/ in a relationship and the wife/gf was away or they were having 'problems' and you were the stand in. Or has a string of women that he's doing the same with. Sorry that sounds bad but I've seen it so many times, he was so sweet and so organised and practically bought your time to make sure you weren't going anywhere and were fully in his control of where he wanted to go and when. And now you've served the purpose you've been dropped. He may get back but really if he wanted to, he just would have replied to you when he's obviously read it and would not have cancelled at the last minute on a Saturday night like that, very bad form. He's just a messer and the way he was acting was very insincere, it was all for show, as the above poster said he wasn't really trying to get to know you on any deep level.

What purpose though? It was a few dates and nothing physical happened apart from kissing!

move on OP! This is quite common in dating! Move fast and move in the complete opposite direction faster when they think it might actually go somewhere! And never fully believe a person when they say get used to it, generally they mean the opposite!

LegacyUser

Not sure what you mean? I'm just saying this guy is not genuine, too intense and pushy, it's basically all about how he looks. The OP should run, this is not how it is when a guy is genuinely into you. He bought and planned everything meaning he was the one totally in control of things and could just drop her when he felt like it, her feelings are non existent in this. Saturday night didn't suit HIM so he just lets her down last minute. The comment 'get used to it'..Oh God, who does he think he is, Christian Gray? Laughable. I'm picturing a complete greaseball. And sure enough you were going along with the charade like a love struck puppy.

In future make it a little more give and take, you decide who's good enough for you, don't be blinded by a man splashing out wining and dining and all that pretense. Be a bit more real with each other. Yes even in the first few dates, at least so you actually know who you are dating.

LegacyUser

Hey all,

Thanks for the opinions.

Well, I only posted on this because I knew something was off. Since I have met him we have regularly gone 2 - 3 days without texting (it was early days) and that hasn't been too unusual, but this time it's different.

He's not married or involved with anyone else. Although not connected; his social media is pretty public and verifies everything he's told me.

We didn't meet on Tinder.

There are various things that make me believe he was somewhat sincere, his nervousness in telling me he had a child and a few other personal details that he waited some time to tell me, he didn't start off very confident and gradually opened up the more times we met. I think you just know....I'd like to think I would anyway.

I did feel a little strange that he wouldn't let me pay for things, I've a really good job too, but it was something we discussed and he confessed that he feels uncomfortable when people pay for him, even in non-dating scenarios.

Lastly, although we didn't text every day the frequency had increased but I would never have described it as intense. We went on maybe 2 dates a week, always dinner, twice a movie too.... only ever kissed.....never chatted on the phone. If anything I would have called that slow besides his quips about things we could do together in the coming weeks/months.

Even if we weren't communicating daily I would have expected some form of communication after being stood up in town and having to make my way home after going to the trouble of getting in to meet him (he's fully aware of how busy my life is). I appreciated that it was out of his control and was understanding but disappointed, which I communicated.

He hasn't contacted me since I started this thread yesterday, so, in my mind it's over unless he comes back to say something huge happened to make this treatment acceptable.

Many thanks

BetsyEllen

MeatTwoVeg wrote: »

Your issue is that he hasn't texted you in 36 hours?

Jesus, I wouldn't survive in today's dating world. The idea that you have to be in near constant contact or else it means your married or a 'professional dater' is quite frankly, bizarre.

My advice, is relax and stop over analyzing everything.

I think the issue is more that he has replied to her message which was enquiring whether he is OK. And she can clearly see he has read it.

I think it is odd behaviour - all of these posters saying he is genuinely busy well OK - but NO ONE is too busy to send a text.
He has read the message, so he's had his phone in his hand! A quick 'I'm OK thanks, just swamped at work - I will give you a call on Friday - chat soon' would take all of 30 seconds to type out.
To not even bother to reply is plain rude.

There is definitely something off here OP.

ManOfMystery

Look there's two scenarios here. I think it's obvious at this point that the work thing was just a cover or he would have texted you by now.

It's either (a) - something personal has happened in his life and he's not in a place to deal with your relationship at the moment. He could just tell you this, but has opted not to for whatever reason and handled it badly.

Or (b) He's one of these guys who goes 200% into a relationship, plans months ahead, buys everything, promises the world .............. then gets cold feet and isn't man enough to admit it after building up their own hype so much. When people like this put so much in at the beginning of a relationship, they're not really doing it for you - they're doing it to big up themselves and make you fall for them.

I'm erring with (b) at the moment, it's unfortunately a scenario which has been mentioned many, many times by posters in this forum in the same boat at yourself.

Calypso Realm

ManOfMystery wrote: »

It's either (a) - something personal has happened in his life and he's not in a place to deal with your relationship at the moment. He could just tell you this, but has opted not to for whatever reason and handled it badly.

This. In fact, I wouldn't dismiss the work situation at this point either. Assuming it's true, whatever happened on Saturday could easily have spilled over into Sunday as well. Of course, it all depends on how plausible this all is-only you can judge this. In my experience when guys have something stressful like this going on particularly at work, it becomes their main focus for the duration it takes to sort things out and once things are back on track, they bounce back. A sort of caving. Since he's clearly out to impress you, he probably doesn't feel comfortable sharing all this with you at this point or you seeing him in a less than perfect light!

I would sit tight on this one, don't contact him again-last thing he needs if he's stressed is someone blowing up his phone wondering where he is or calling it a day and chances are you'll hear from him very soon. In fact, I'd be surprised if you didn't, provided you play it cool and don't overthink things. How you deal with it all then depends on what he has to say for himself when gets in contact.

Another thing that struck me was something happened with his child. How much do you know about his former relationship?

Let us know how it all pans out and good luck!

Xaracatz

Life is more stressful these days, and the work / life balance can be hard to maintain! OP - what that guy did is not right, but it could be that he's stressed due to work, and then he had to cancel a date and got stressed due to that, and basically dug himself into a hole.

I've done it. I've "pretended I'm dead" (that's just a jokey phrase used amongst me and my friends - not meant to be disrespectful to anybody) on WhatsApp - meaning even if I check messages I do so on flight mode so that nobody can see that I'm on. This is ALWAYS due to work - where I am fire fighting and will not be able to make an arrangement, and I literally cannot face anything outside of work. I cancel and then disappear until I can face real life again. Then there's the guilt of all of it. It's a vicious circle.

This may be what's happening - but it's not the correct way to behave. If he does get back on to you - you should definitely talk to him about it - IF you're interested in continuing this relationship.

Bear in mind that this (the last minute cancellation) will probably happen again, but if it is a work -> cancelling -> guilt situation, you might be able to remove the guilt and the ongoing "pretending you're dead" situation.

Not defending the guy at all. My advice, personally, would be to walk away, as this may just not be the right time and place. This guy obviously thought you are brilliant, and there will be others who think the same.

LegacyUser

Thanks all

I appreciate the insights and I understand that work/life balance can be skewed, it happens to me too but somethings are important.

I've already decided that regardless of the reasoning behind this I am not interested in a person who can ignore me. He was online for the most part of yesterday evening. So, I'm happy to let this one go and find someone who has the same ideas on relationships as I do.

I don't want this type of person in my life.

blairbear

Meh, nobody's work is THAT busy. I had a guy tell me recently that he WANTED to text me one weekend but he was just SO busy replying to work emails (and going on consecutive nights out!) that he just couldn't manage it.

I'm a doctor in a very busy area of medicine; I find the time to text people back especially if I'm interested in them romantically. Feck it, I text back people I barely like!!

Unless you're being inaugurated as president that day, or somebody close to you is grievously ill, you can text back.

hydro1

Come on if your really into someone they are on your mind all the time, no one is to busy to reply to a text even if its an "ok" or 2am in the morning. To me this sounds fishy as if he is interested but is spinning a lie somewhere and has had second thoughts, he could be two timing you and things got a little hot or something. Don't understand why you just can't phone him on his mobile or even in work..

Sorry just noticed your last update and good choice, fair play.

panda100

3rd party opinions wrote: »

Thanks all

I appreciate the insights and I understand that work/life balance can be skewed, it happens to me too but somethings are important.

I've already decided that regardless of the reasoning behind this I am not interested in a person who can ignore me. He was online for the most part of yesterday evening. So, I'm happy to let this one go and find someone who has the same ideas on relationships as I do.

I don't want this type of person in my life.

I think your making the right call OP.

Is this normal behaviour?No, but unfortunately there is a small cohort of men (and women I'm sure) whom carry on like this. He totally stood you up for your last date and it really takes only a minute to message someone to tell them that you won't be able to make it. Nobody is that busy! I have noticed that a lot of men whom I would describe as serial daters would act this way. Very intensive with messaging and contact for the first few weeks and then total non response when they decide that they are not really into you or maybe someone else comes on the scene.

SarahMollie

I think this is a classic case of Mr "Too good to be true". A guy who comes on too strong in the beginning, is seemingly perfect in every way, a Prince Charming basically. Thats not sustainable, and rather to admit to being less than perfect, in his mind its easier to just vanish.

Totally warped thinking, so you've had a lucky escape in this instance.

Big Bag of Chips

3rd party opinions wrote: »

I did feel a little strange that he wouldn't let me pay for things, I've a really good job too, but it was something we discussed and he confessed that he feels uncomfortable when people pay for him, even in non-dating scenarios.

So even though him paying for everything made you feel uncomfortable he still insisted saying people paying anything for him makes him uncomfortable?!

To me this sounds like it was irrelevant to him how you felt, and it was more important how he felt. That seems to have been the general gist of things in this very brief romance. Dates were decided and organised and paid for 100% by him. It didn't matter what you wanted or felt.

Now, you seem fairly laid back and maybe you were alright (ish) with that. But to be honest after a while it would do my head in. I like relationships to be easy and laid back. This would have been too full on for me, especially in the first couple of weeks. It was more about how he appeared to you and others than it was about any potential long-term relationships you might have.

Anyway, job done now. Move on... Although I would definitely expect to hear from him again around payday!!

LegacyUser

I really appreciate everyone's feedback.

Honestly, having chatted to some friends about it we kind of came up with the same explanation as SarahMollie. The whole thing was a bit too good to be true and in the last week I was kind of thinking I'd just like to go for a walk or something instead of all the bloody food lol.

I think he is probably a little insecure and was hiding behind grand gestures, convincing himself that he was some amazing guy and it was never really about me. I just needed to turn up and look pretty. Then, on Saturday when the **** his the fan in work and he had to stand me up, well, that great guy he was projecting never would have done that. I think he knew we'd have to have a conversation where he would be less than perfect and I would potentially be a little sore was too much for him, bless.

Either way, I'm done

Thanks everyone for the contributions

Motivator

Xoxo34 wrote: »

This is going to sound very cynical, but it sounds like he's married/ in a relationship and the wife/gf was away or they were having 'problems' and you were the stand in. Or has a string of women that he's doing the same with. Sorry that sounds bad but I've seen it so many times, he was so sweet and so organised and practically bought your time to make sure you weren't going anywhere and were fully in his control of where he wanted to go and when. And now you've served the purpose you've been dropped. He may get back but really if he wanted to, he just would have replied to you when he's obviously read it and would not have cancelled at the last minute on a Saturday night like that, very bad form. He's just a messer and the way he was acting was very insincere, it was all for show, as the above poster said he wasn't really trying to get to know you on any deep level.

Bull****, he'd have shagged her if that was true.

If he hasn't shagged you then he's probably gay.

wanderingdub

3rd party opinions wrote: »

I really appreciate everyone's feedback.

Honestly, having chatted to some friends about it we kind of came up with the same explanation as SarahMollie. The whole thing was a bit too good to be true and in the last week I was kind of thinking I'd just like to go for a walk or something instead of all the bloody food lol.

I think he is probably a little insecure and was hiding behind grand gestures, convincing himself that he was some amazing guy and it was never really about me. I just needed to turn up and look pretty. Then, on Saturday when the **** his the fan in work and he had to stand me up, well, that great guy he was projecting never would have done that. I think he knew we'd have to have a conversation where he would be less than perfect and I would potentially be a little sore was too much for him, bless.

Either way, I'm done

Thanks everyone for the contributions

In my(male) opinion, I think you've done the right thing, just leave it be and move on. When he said "get used to it" and then planning for the months ahead, I think that's when the alarm bells should have started to ring loudly, defo gives off a vibe that something's not right about him and I also think that he was trying too hard at the beginning when things should just be allowed to happen naturally. As for him not replying to your last message, there is absolutely NO excuse for his radio silence. I get that people have busy lives and stuff, but it only takes a few seconds to send a text. Obviously he's not all that bothered about you if he just cut off all contact, but don't be surprised if he decides to come crawling back to you at some stage with some ridiculous excuse(s).

In the meantime, get yourself back out there and I hope you meet someone that appreciates you as much as you would appreciate them.

amtc

I had something like this a few years ago. I'd seen him looking at me as we lived near each other... Then approached me on my birthday (I had flowers) in a bus queue. Wined and dined me for weeks
Just kissing. I really thought he was the one. He paid for everything. Anyway we bought each other presents for cap of 20 ,euro for Valentine s....I bought a book, he bought me a gold necklace....anyway took it back to get engraved. His phone rang at dinner...went outside to take it, Guess what never saw him or necklace again! I was slightly puzzled he had no jacket ever with him. So I paid and got home.Got texts next morning to say he was scared. I got a friend to call where he worked... Never heard of him.

Anyway about six months ago a friend is in the Shelbourne, meets a guy....exact same story. It was a standing joke with my friends about the necklace...so she tells him about my dating experience some dates in as a laugh. She took a photo which he asked her to delete. Anyway on the way home he had to get money...and guess what disappeared. She showed me photo, same guy, different name!

For what reason, we can't figure..no sex..and paid....

ManOfMystery

They're vampires, for want of a better word. Feed off the feel-good they get by treating you and buying you things. "Oh you're such a great guy! So nice! So generous! Wouldn't every woman be lucky to have a guy like you!". The sex isn't important, it's the praise which they want.

And then they realise they can't sustain that behaviour and are actually commitment-shy.

amtc

Another one from me...my best male friend who I know 20 years... and would text 20 times a day totally disappeared on text, calls for a few weeks.

Eventually after a convoluted series of emails, calls to his mother and sister (I had got him some work, ended up doing it myself, he had done the basics...but I needed it done...was on my recommendation so exposed me. I knew he needed the 15k cash).

Anyway when I finally got him, I have a key for him. He said he just wanted to hide. Turned out his ex was expecting and he had just gone to ground to try to deal with it.

Maybe this guy has had some major life event?

Anyway you sound cool enough to move on. I like the comment about vampires. Quite narcissistic!

irishguy1983

amtc wrote: »

Another one from me...my best male friend who I know 20 years... and would text 20 times a day totally disappeared on text, calls for a few weeks.

Eventually after a convoluted series of emails, calls to his mother and sister (I had got him some work, ended up doing it myself, he had done the basics...but I needed it done...was on my recommendation so exposed me. I knew he needed the 15k cash).

Anyway when I finally got him, I have a key for him. He said he just wanted to hide. Turned out his ex was expecting and he had just gone to ground to try to deal with it.

Maybe this guy has had some major life event?



Anyway you sound cool enough to move on. I like the comment about vampires. Quite narcissistic!

I'd be going along with this poster as i suggested earlier - we never quite know what is happening in people lives....

Now if I was a betting man I'd be agreeing with most posters here but sometimes it might be worth taking a chance...

I was in similar situation recently - I took a chance, I got burned but was over it in a few days...Looking back I'd still make the same decision but that's just me....

amtc

I'd be a bit the same...never let something go.