I feel so sad

LegacyUser

Hey,

Regular poster, going anonymous for this.

I went on a third Tinder date last night (both mid-late 20's). We had such a lovely evening. He brought me to a really nice restaurant, we went for drinks, we went back to his and we had sex for the first time together.

This is where it turned.

I was sitting on the couch afterwards, looking absolutely wrecked (as you would after a night out). He was sitting on the other end of the couch texting, and I could see from the small distance that he had just taken a picture of me in my messy state (fully clothed, but hair and make up was all over the shop). I leaned over to grab his phone and he kept laughing and wouldn't give it to me. I kept asking 'why did you take a photo of me like this, please delete it etc.'. He then received a whatsapp notification and I had a sneaky suspicion that he had posted that photo to all his lad mates in their 'lad' whatsapp group. I kept insisting that he open the Whatsapp group and he kept refusing however, I threatened to leave if he wouldn't open it. He opened it and lo and behold there was the picture. He deleted the photo in the whatsapp group so fast that I couldn't see the messages underneath it. I told him it was a horrible way to ruin a good evening and that it was an extremely d*ckhead thing to do. He kept apologising and I walked out and went home. I received a million texts from his apologising and saying how he really likes me, I'm a lovely girl and he'd hate to upset me or cause offence etc.

I am so upset this morning. I cannot understand why he would take a photo of me looking a mess at 4am, and forward it to all of his mates in a whatsapp group? I can only imagine what their replies were. I also feel so uncomfortable that they have this photo of me.

I know he will try texting again today to apologise. I would like to hear people's thoughts on this and advice on what I should say to him if he texts?


Thanks for reading.

Typer Monkey

What a mean thing to do. He essentially ridiculed you to his mates to get a cheap laugh. I wonder what he wrote under the photo..no doubt something about how you'd slept together. What a horrible immature inconsiderate person. If it were me I'd be disappointed but also count myself lucky that I'd gotten a glimpse into what kind of a person he really is before the relationship went any further.

If he continues to text I'd say you've seen evidence now of what an immature arse he is and won't be wasting your time on him as you value yourself too much to be ridiculed for a cheap laugh.

Chip up OP, it's not your fault. You just encountered an eejit. There's lots of lovely men out there who don't behave like this. Please take heed of this massive red flag

Merkin

You poor thing. Way to go to make a person feel absolutely rubbish!

As a matter of interest, why after having sex, were you sitting on the sofa fully clothed? Did one of you not want you staying over the night? Just strikes me as a little odd.

I don't know any decent person who would behave in such a fashion so I'd just ignore him tbh as he showed you no respect and showed himself up to be an immature dickhead.

Ursus Horribilis

What a horrible, disrespectful thing to do. You do realise he still has the original photo on his phone though? At least you were clothed. If it was me, I'd refuse to have anything more to do with him. It's up to you whether you choose to respond to any texts he might send. A reply along the lines of what Typer Monkey said is a good one. Or you could just block his number and have nothing more to do with him. He can't have liked you that much if he thought it was a good idea to send a sneaky photo of you to his mates.

mapaca

What a horrible, shabby thing to do and how immature and idiotic is he?! As others have said, at least he's shown his true colours now before you get in any deeper. I would be telling him to get lost after this.

There are plenty of lovely decent men out there who would never dream of making fun of you like that to their friends. Don't waste any more time on this eejit.

mfceiling

How old is he? 12?

What an idiot. Move on...there's lads out there who would love your company and won't treat you like this clown.

Kidchameleon

It was probably a message like "check out what I got my leg over lads"

Unfotunatly OP for me it would be the end of the romance

batmanrobin

What a d*ck! Block and move on from him. He's just given you a snapshot of his personality. It's not pleasant and he's not worth your time.

Rekop dog

I'd imagine he was more braging about you than insulting you, obviously still very juvenile but I don't think he did it in a malicious way.

Katgurl

I also suspect he was bragging and while you thought you looked a mess, he thought otherwise.

Extremely immature all the same.

leggo

Yeah, seconded what the last two posters said about bragging about you. Lads wouldn't send pics to their other lad mates of girls they were with that they thought looked horrible as it'd invite slaggings.

But this is a child, not a man, you're dealing with and you've seen this now after just a few dates. I'd just try to forget this and him and move forward to better things.

LuckyLloyd

Honestly, I'd give him another chance. You got an unfortunate insight into the fact that he's not perfect, and probably still has some growing up to do. But, as you say yourself, you had in the main a lovely evening after three obviously promising dates and I could almost guarantee you that it was bragging about how well a date he was excited about went. I think you make it clear that is is not acceptable behaviour and see how you go.

Everyone has foibles, but so long as the good outweighs the bad you carry on. Just an opinion mind, best of luck with whatever you do.

OCEANIC FIZZY POP NINE

"Look at the mess I left her in" #Romeo

Something like that I'd imagine written underneath. It's the times we live in.


Mid 20s so not at all surprising really, especially if he hasn't had much in the way of serious relationships in the past.

He's learned now...Do you think?

I wouldn't call time over it if you like him but you're gonna need to have a privacy chat with him and tread carefully for awhile.

Merkin

I actually think it's incidental whether he was commenting on how awful or gorgeous he thought she looked (I'd assume the latter too TBH) but it's just to take a picture of you like that, unbeknownst to you, just having slept with him, really wouldn't sit well with me. It's slimey and disrespectful no matter how you look at it.

nikpmup

LuckyLloyd wrote: »

Honestly, I'd give him another chance. You got an unfortunate insight into the fact that he's not perfect, and probably still has some growing up to do. But, as you say yourself, you had in the main a lovely evening after three obviously promising dates and I could almost guarantee you that it was bragging about how well a date he was excited about went. I think you make it clear that is is not acceptable behaviour and see how you go.

Everyone has foibles, but so long as the good outweighs the bad you carry on. Just an opinion mind, best of luck with whatever you do.

Sorry, not a for a second would I give him another chance. This is not a "foible" - he took and broadcast a photo of the op, without her knowledge or permission. That's creepy and immature at best. I'd be sending him a "grow the fcuk up" text as a parting shot before blocking him, OP. Sorry he did this to you.

Jesus do not give him a second chance ... thank yourself lucky that you've had a lucky escape here.

Some men are dicks.. just like some women are c@nts.

Get back on the horse so to speak and move on!

Loveinapril

I would definitely not give him a second chance. He invaded the OPs privacy right after they were intimate. He did not ask permission to take a photo, then he sent it out to people the OP does not know. I understand completely where the OP is coming from. I would feel my privacy was violated if this happened to me. It was not his right to take a photo.
OP, if he gets in contact again just be clear that what he did was immature, inappropriate and he invaded your privacy. I would personally then tell him that I don't want to know someone capable of that creepy adolescent behaviour. Then block him!

DopeTech

What a tw*t. Sounds really immature. Move on, your better off without him.

Yummymummy83

What a horrible thing to do. OP at least this guy has shown you what he is early on. I think modern dating really brings out the worse in some people but this is a good thing. It can take months or years before you discover that someone is an a-hole! As disappointing as it is, its best to find out early on.

leggo

Merkin wrote: »

I actually think it's incidental whether he was commenting on how awful or gorgeous he thought she looked (I'd assume the latter too TBH) but it's just to take a picture of you like that, unbeknownst to you, just having slept with him, really wouldn't sit well with me. It's slimey and disrespectful no matter how you look at it.

Disrespectful is the word. As a lad, first off I'd never do this because I've grown out of "WAAAAAYY LADS I GOT TEH SEX!", but if I was to do it it'd never be to a girl I respected and saw as girlfriend potential. It'd be as a conquest and someone I just wanted as a notch on the bedpost. The entire night to this guy was about texting the lads after bragging about you. That's what you were to him. Don't beat yourself up, you were dating and had sex and there's no way you could've known he'd be like that until you were smart enough to cop onto his antics, but see things that way and get rid.

sadie1502

Did you really look that much of a mess ? Maybe he didn't think you did. Totally don't agree with what he did very childish and stupid. But maybe he thought you looked lovely and didnt look a mess. I say this because my boyfriend sometimes says to me you look lovely and in my eyes I look like was I was through the bushes. So maybe you didn't look as bad as you think. I would like to talk to him sober and when emotions die down a bit just to see what he was thinking and if nothing else to make sure that picture was deleted.

Big Bag of Chips

sadie1502 wrote: »

if nothing else to make sure that picture was deleted.

Doesn't matter if he deleted it.. there's now a copy of it on the phone of every fella in that group. I'd guess he was bragging not slagging you off. But either way it's childish.

Only you can decide if you're interested in hearing him out. Although, it sounds like you're not. Best to block him then rather than keep getting a "million messages"

helimachoptor

I wouldn't give him a second chance.on another note how **** is it going to be it you ever meet these friends

Hombre Lobo

FWIW, I think you done the right thing to get up an leave. He clearly has no respect for you, or the privacy between the two of you. I think it was a nasty, juvenile thing to do.

Yummymummy83

sadie1502 wrote: »

Did you really look that much of a mess ? Maybe he didn't think you did. Totally don't agree with what he did very childish and stupid. But maybe he thought you looked lovely and didnt look a mess. I say this because my boyfriend sometimes says to me you look lovely and in my eyes I look like was I was through the bushes. So maybe you didn't look as bad as you think. I would like to talk to him sober and when emotions die down a bit just to see what he was thinking and if nothing else to make sure that picture was deleted.

Do you not think it's a huge invasion o privacy regardless of his intentions? I mean he sneakily took a picture during what should have been a very private and intimate moment for them, then he shared it to a group of lads and left it open for their discussion. For me this is a no-brainer, I wouldn't think twice about deleting him from my contacts and moving on.

sadie1502

Yummymummy83 wrote: »

Do you not think it's a huge invasion o privacy regardless of his intentions? I mean he sneakily took a picture during what should have been a very private and intimate moment for them, then he shared it to a group of lads and left it open for their discussion. For me this is a no-brainer, I wouldn't think twice about deleting him from my contacts and moving on.

Well yes of course I know what he did was wrong. I'm not condoning his actions. Buy I would firstly like to hear him out. If we got on that we'll and I really liked him I would hear him out.

Rekop dog

People definitely being too harsh about him. Not every group of lads are seedy weirdos. They could have just been happy for their friend and innocently asked for a picture of her. Op saying she didn't feel she looked her best at that time but women tend to be hypersensitive of themselves in photos when he prob thought she looked great. People seem to be inferring sleezy undertones when imo it's not necessarily the case.

If he hasn't given you any other cause for concern you can't be ending it over this alone. By all means warn him that you don't like that sort of behaviour but gotta be given him another chance if you like him.

nikpmup

Rekop dog wrote: »

People definitely being too harsh about him. Not every group of lads are seedy weirdos. They could have just been happy for their friend and innocently asked for a picture of her. Op saying she didn't feel she looked her best at that time but woman tend to be hypersensitive of themselves in photos when he prob thought she looked great. People seem to be inferring sleezy undertones when imo it's not necessarily the case.

If he hasn't given you any other cause for concern you can't be ending it over this alone. By all means warn him that you don't like that sort of behaviour but gotta be given him another chance if you like him.

Nope. "hey, I was telling my mates I've met a really nice girl & they want to see what you look like - do you mind if I send them a pic?" - maybe. Sneakily taking a post-coital picture at stupid O' clock, not acceptable. There's a way for an adult to behave, that's not it.

Rekop dog

nikpmup wrote: »

Nope. "hey, I was telling my mates I've met a really nice girl & they want to see what you look like - do you mind if I send them a pic?" - maybe. Sneakily taking a post-coital picture at stupid O' clock, not acceptable. There's a way for an adult to behave, that's not it.

I agree it was wrong of him. But I reckon he was just delighted with himself, maybe a little drunk and didn't really think it through. They were fully dressed on the sofa so let's not make this out to be something it isn't. The most important thing is to decipher his intentions, if he was just bursting with pride but a little naive then thats forgivable. If he's in any way smart he'll have the ability to learn from this and be more careful in future.

njs030

I've yet to meet a man that brags to his friends about having sex with a woman he views as a potential girlfriend-let alone wants his friends to see her messy and in the position of having his friends make crude comments.

Any man I've known (and I've worked in male dominated environments my whole life) keeps new romances quiet until things are more steady and any photos shown are the same as ones they'd show mammy.....there's no banter and jokes about women that might become serious!

He sounds like an immature idiot op.

nikpmup

Rekop dog wrote: »

I agree it was wrong of him. But I reckon he was just delighted with himself, maybe a little drunk and didn't really think it through. They were fully dressed on the sofa so let's not make this out to be something it isn't. The most important thing is to decipher his intentions, if he was just bursting with pride but a little naive then thats forgivable. If he's in any way smart he'll have the ability to learn from this and be more careful in future.

Still nope. I showed this thread to my other half, who's a blokey man's man, and he agreed that the guy is a jackass. Drunk or not, taking a photo is a díck move - sending it is unforgivable imo. That pic could end up all over social media, there's no way to control it now that all his mates have it. I value my privacy and if any man ever thought this was in any way acceptable, he'd be gone.

Rekop dog

nikpmup wrote: »

Still nope. I showed this thread to my other half, who's a blokey man's man, and he agreed that the guy is a jackass. Drunk or not, taking a photo is a díck move - sending it is unforgivable imo. That pic could end up all over social media, there's no way to control it now that all his mates have it. I value my privacy and if any man ever thought this was in any way acceptable, he'd be gone.

Well if your blokey man's man boyfriend thought that it must be true haha. You're talking like he took a naked pic of her or something. They were chilling in the living room. Why would something so mundane go all over social media?

Yummymummy83

The most mundane of pictures can end up being memes. It doesn't matter what she was wearing or not, she has a right to privacy and this invaded that. He clearly has zero concept of respect or boundaries. He's either stupid or a dick. In either case he'd be sent on his bike if he did this to me.

cactusgal

Rekop dog wrote: »

Well if your blokey man's man boyfriend thought that it must be true haha. You're talking like he took a naked pic of her or something. They were chilling in the living room. Why would something so mundane go all over social media?

If someone takes a picture of a girl at 4 am and sends it to his lad friends in a Whatapp group, it's clear that he's telling them he's just boned her. She doesn't know these guys, but now they have a pic of her just after she slept with their friend. Oh, and he took the pic and sent it without her knowledge or permission. Why is that ok for you?

nikpmup

Rekop dog wrote: »

Well if your blokey man's man boyfriend thought that it must be true haha. You're talking like he took a naked pic of her or something. They were chilling in the living room. Why would something so mundane go all over social media?

Why wouldn't it? If they're the type of lads who think taking pics of girls unbeknownst to them is ok I'm sure they wouldn't think twice about posting it to fb for the craic. Regardless of how she was dressed /looked, he shouldn't have done it. And my reason for mentioning my boyfriends response was to demonstrate that like the majority of posters here, he thinks that it's not cool and not acceptable.

OP, you're the only one who can decide whether this is deal breaking or not. The fact that this was so early on, that it was at a time when your privacy should have been respected and that it was sent to a group of mates would all be massive red flags. I'd get rid.

Neyite

He didn't show you the whatsapp comments because they would have reflected very badly on him I suspect.

It's not just that he secretly took a picture. He also sent it to someone/other people who discussed you and refused to tell you what was being said. About you. He does not see you as worth that courtesy.

Then he finally deleted it (a fairly empty gesture because it's still on his camera roll, and sent to the recipient(s), but only when you threatened to walk.

He's not sorry. He's just sorry that you caught him out doing it.

Just be thankful you found out what he's really like this early on. It'd be far worse if you found out in 6 months time when you'd developed real feelings for him.

LegacyUser

Thanks to everyone for all the replies. I have spent the entire day in my bedroom feeling very down.

Just to answer one person's question, I was fully clothed on the couch because I couldn't stay the night as I had plans this morning. He kept asking me to spend the night but I couldn't.

I received another text from him this morning to say 'I'd like to apologise to you again. If you don't want to talk to me again I understand'. I replied with 'you wouldn't do something like that to someone you like. You've no idea how upset I am'.

And he never bothered to respond.

I wish I could describe how I feel right now. I feel very numb and tearful. I am also still in shock. I am terrified that the photo will remain on all of their phones. Dublin is a small area, and as a previous poster pointed out, memes are so easily created and can go viral in seconds. I genuinely don't know what to do. I am absolutely gutted. What should have been a special moment turned out to be a horror night. As it stands, I am considering calling in sick to work tomorrow as I am too emotional right now. I am a nervous wreck today.

milli milli

op_here wrote: »

And he never bothered to respond.

I wish I could describe how I feel right now. I feel very numb and tearful. I am also still in shock. I am terrified that the photo will remain on all of their phones. Dublin is a small area, and as a previous poster pointed out, memes are so easily created and can go viral in seconds. I genuinely don't know what to do. I am absolutely gutted. What should have been a special moment turned out to be a horror night. As it stands, I am considering calling in sick to work tomorrow as I am too emotional right now. I am a nervous wreck today.

OP I know this is a terrible thing to happen to you, especially after having been intimate with someone. But I think you shouldn't let him get the better of you. If you take the day off tomorrow, you will feel worse and just wallow in misery.
It's a real sucky situation to happen, and with any luck nothing will happen with the photos. Also it could be so much worse, they could have been naked pics.

The guys a dick, plain and simple.
It's a pity you encountered it after being so vulnerable, but as others have said he's shown his true colours early.
Allow yourself to be upset now, but even if you have to force yourself, I wouldn't waste another tear on this twit.

pgj2015

Try to look for the positives here op, as others have said you have figured out what kind of character this guy is early on, not sure why he keeps texting you, why does he not ring you? Try to forget about it now, its just a picture where you look a bit wrecked, you didn't do anything wrong, as a man myself, if someone showed me such a picture, I wouldn't pass any heed on it. I would ignore all attempts of contact from the guy and you will have forgotten about it in no time, go to work tomorrow and just get on with your life.

Clampdown

LuckyLloyd wrote: »

Honestly, I'd give him another chance. You got an unfortunate insight into the fact that he's not perfect, and probably still has some growing up to do. But, as you say yourself, you had in the main a lovely evening after three obviously promising dates and I could almost guarantee you that it was bragging about how well a date he was excited about went. I think you make it clear that is is not acceptable behaviour and see how you go.

Everyone has foibles, but so long as the good outweighs the bad you carry on. Just an opinion mind, best of luck with whatever you do.

Um, no. He has no respect for and basically treated her the way a hunter or fisherman would with their prey, taking a photo of their catch to show off.

Men act like this and then we wonder why women always have their guard up so much when on nights out, doing online dating, or wherever else we try to approach women.

He deserves a slap IMO. Every women is someone's daughter or sister you don't do stuff like that.

Merkin

I'm so sorry you feel this way OP. I agree that taking the day off could lead to further rumination and make you feel worse than you already do. I appreciate how upsetting this has been but it's important too to put it in perspective. You weren't photographed in flagrante or in a compromising position and it is highly unlikely that anyone will even look at the picture again.

This guy has been a complete sh!tbag to you and ruined what could have been a nice night but to look at it in a positive light, at least you know what he's like now. Imagine a few weeks down the line and you'd exchanged a few nudie pics with him....THEN

Try and get a good sleep tonight and try not to skip work tomorrow. You'll be fine.

The Wolverine

I don't mean this in a bad way but as far as worrying it will be seen by others you were dressed and your only worry is you had no makeup on, no one is going to give a ****

I know some women hate being seen without makeup but it's not on the level on a naked pic

It like a fella having a pic of him with bed hair and unshaven, no one will care as it's normal.

Put that much out of your mind.

Redser87

Definitely agree with other posters who say get up tomorrow - the sun will still rise - shake this off and go about your day with your head held high. Being busy and interacting with normal people would be much healthier than brooding on this.
How about trying this self compassion exercise http://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/self-compassion.break_.mp3 it will take 5 minutes and could help you sleep.
In terms of what is likely to happen with the picture, of course it is natural to fear the worst but we all have hundreds of photos of babies , memes, jokes, food, post-gym selfies etc sent over WhatsApp that get a brief look and are never thought of again. Not that this makes what he did ok - but while this is huge to you, for the members of that group your photo has already probably been forgotten.
I'm sorry that this happened to you. There are plenty of lovely men out there who would never dream of doing something like this. I hope the next one will be one of the good ones.

Chancer3001

He sent a pic to his mates whatsapp saying, see this girl i just got with.

They all reply stuff like, fair play to ya. Youre some hero. Shes not bad. Etc etc

Youre thinking the worst that theyre all saying negative things about you. Maybe none are negative.

He feels bad and knows it was bad. Of course he shouldnt have done it. He was either drunk or immature or both.

Either way. Id avoid him in future.

But dont overthink it. You can probabaly assuke he already sent your photos from tinder to the group to show who he was going dating. Did you send any of him to your mates? Lots of girls do that. Its not nice. But its definitely not as big a deal as youre making out

Go to work. Move on with your life. Put it down to bad experience

Merkin

Rekop Dog and Oceanic Fizzy Pop Nine....keep your replies on topic please and not see it as an opportunity to slag off the OP or indeed other posters. Both of you might like to remind yourselves of the charter before posting within PI/RI again.

Ursus Horribilis

op_here wrote: »

I wish I could describe how I feel right now. I feel very numb and tearful. I am also still in shock. I am terrified that the photo will remain on all of their phones. Dublin is a small area, and as a previous poster pointed out, memes are so easily created and can go viral in seconds. I genuinely don't know what to do. I am absolutely gutted. What should have been a special moment turned out to be a horror night. As it stands, I am considering calling in sick to work tomorrow as I am too emotional right now. I am a nervous wreck today.

I'm not sure how to say this in a kind way because I know you're still upset and shaken over what happened. I think you are blowing this out of proportion to a certain extent. I agree that the guy was an immature, disprespectful ass to have taken the photo but I don't believe it was done out of malice. I can understand why you feel violated and upset but let's look at the facts.

All the guy took was a photo of you looking the worse for wear in the small hours of the morning. You were fully clothed. The chances of you becoming an internet meme are extremely slim. If you had been snapped in the nip, then you might've had some cause for concern. You weren't though. You were fully clothed and that's the main thing. That you looked a bit rough is beside the point.

It wouldn't surprise me if your photo isn't the first one that this guy and his mates have shared. It's the sort of immature thing that some lads do. You might not even be the only photo in that Whatsapp group. You're not unique, you're not special. They've most likely forgotten about you now. Why would they even bother to turn you into a meme or share your photo around? You're just one in a possibly long list of conquests in that group of fellas. It's not a nudie pic or a shagging video. In other words, you're boring.

If any good is to come of this, it might have taught this guy that pulling a stunt like this isn't the right thing to do. My guess is that he did it without considering the consequences. I'm not making excuses for him but he is from the generation who takes photos and sends them around without thinking deeply about what they're doing.

Hopefully you'll feel better about this in the morning and will start to put some perspective on this. What good is pulling a sickie going to do for you? You've spent the day in your room driving yourself mad over this. Two days holed up in your room is unlikely to help you one iota. In fact it could make things worse.

retro:electro

Deleting it from the whatsapp is futile because it's only deleted from his phone, it will still appear in the phones of the other lads. He sounds like a total ass and I wouldn't be long telling him where to shove his apology.

leggo

Yeah OP, I don't think the 'viral' comment was too helpful in that it's after putting that in your head now. To be fair I think the poster who wrote it was speaking more in terms of how bad it could've been rather than how bad it realistically is. Realistically this pic is never going to haunt you and all that's happened here is that you've dodged a bullet. Don't overthink this and let it ruin your life. Chalk it up to a bad experience, write this guy off as a bad egg and move on. You've done nothing wrong and nothing bad will come of it so there's no good in letting it upset you anymore.

Yellow pack crisps

Don't take this the wrong way but you were dressed so its a pic of you dressed and sitting on a couch so it would be the most boring meme in the world! That guy is an absolute tool! Don't let it upset you any further and move on. Don't let this cloud your judgement going further i am a guy and the last thing i would ever do is take a pic of someone i liked to send to friends, how sad and completely pathetic. In the grand scheme of things it was a nothing situation that you do not need to worry about and i bet you some of his friends already think he is a complete tool bag because its really not a normal thing to do and stinks of someone who has such low self esteem that they need to boast about seeing a girl. I never use this word but its apt in this scenario: He is a loser. He lost you and thats definitive proof if you ever need it.

BetsyEllen

I think I can understand why the OP is so upset and didn't feel like going to work today.

It's not just about the picture, it's about finding out that this relationship will now go no further.
When you've reached the stage of really liking someone and feel ready to sleep with them, it can be very upsetting when it then ends, regardless if it's been 3 days or 3 months.

I think you definitely done the right think in leaving the house OP and I don't think you should give him another chance.
He acted in a very immature way and treated you very disrespectfully.

I hope you're better soon and I really sympathise with how you're feeling right now, it's an awful way to feel.

route9

OP, please make sure you go into work tomorrow to your friends and colleagues, and don't give this a second's thought! You have dodged a bullet here so also be thankful that he has revealed his true colours so early on, and with such a harmless photo (trust me that your photo is of no interest to the guys who might have it on their phones!).

It might be different if you were semi-naked or naked - again it's great that you luckily saw his true colours early on. As a guy, trust me that none of these guys are currently thinking about or looking at your picture! You were looking worse for wear as you said yourself, and completely clothed. That's not of interest really, especially when the same group will likely contain pics of girls who are not fully clothed, going by the sounds of it.

They are not giving it a second's thought while you are there beating yourself up over it!

The last thing you want is to give this any more thought - simply move on and forget about this guy, and be thankful that you did catch him taking that pic.