Getting a man off the planet

Gate12

I'm writing a little fictional work and there's a problem looming up ahead - I have to get a man off the earth. He doesn't have to get anywhere specific, just into space, and he has two traits: he doesn't age and he doesn't need oxygen.
My head is wrecked. I'm guessing he'll have to be smuggled onto a rocket, manned or otherwise, and it can be a NASA vessel or through an Elon Musk-type. But so many people in NASA might have to be 'in' on the attempt that that wouldn't be possible. I feel I'm missing something, probably a lot. Is there another way to get someone off the planet, half-wacky or otherwise?
All ideas greatly appreciated, because a zombie romance novel is looking far easier at this stage.

Saipanne

Gate12 wrote: »

I'm writing a little fictional work and there's a problem looming up ahead - I have to get a man off the earth. He doesn't have to get anywhere specific, just into space, and he has two traits: he doesn't age and he doesn't need oxygen.
My head is wrecked. I'm guessing he'll have to be smuggled onto a rocket, manned or otherwise, and it can be a NASA vessel or through an Elon Musk-type. But so many people in NASA might have to be 'in' on the attempt that that wouldn't be possible. I feel I'm missing something, probably a lot. Is there another way to get someone off the planet, half-wacky or otherwise?
All ideas greatly appreciated, because a zombie romance novel is looking far easier at this stage.

When is it set? If it's the future, then smuggling aboard a "space elevator" might be more believable.

PS. Even if he doesn't need to breathe, being in a vacuum and solar radiation will kill him without protection.

Pat Dunne

Gate12 wrote: »

I'm writing a little fictional work and there's a problem looming up ahead - I have to get a man off the earth. He doesn't have to get anywhere specific, just into space, and he has two traits: he doesn't age and he doesn't need oxygen.
My head is wrecked. I'm guessing he'll have to be smuggled onto a rocket, manned or otherwise, and it can be a NASA vessel or through an Elon Musk-type. But so many people in NASA might have to be 'in' on the attempt that that wouldn't be possible. I feel I'm missing something, probably a lot. Is there another way to get someone off the planet, half-wacky or otherwise?
All ideas greatly appreciated, because a zombie romance novel is looking far easier at this stage.

Well if he doesn't age and there is no great rush to get into space he could always buy a ticket for the Virgin Galactic.

Glebee

Pat Dunne wrote: »

Well if he doesn't age and there is no great rush to get into space he could always buy a ticket for the Virgin Galactic.

Does Bill Cullen have a ticket for that?? Maybe its another rocket. maybe Bill could donate the ticket???

Bandana boy

There are unmanned rockets to put satellites into space , might be less security to smuggle him onto one of those .

Harika

This would be an alternative: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_gun

seamus

One major issue of "smuggling" someone aboard a rocket is that every gram has to be accounted for in order to ensure that the rocket has just the right amount of fuel to reach the appropriate altitude.

An 80kg man weighs more than many smaller satellites, but even for a 1 tonne+ satellite, is still heavy enough to result in a failure to achieve orbit - unless his mass has been accounted for.

In that regard, one could over-report the mass of components of a satellite and then stick someone into it. But you'd need quite a few people to be in on it.

You could look at the idea that he would smuggle himself aboard a satellite bound for a high orbit (such as a geostationary orbit), and cause the mission to fail while still achieving orbit for himself. However, something like 99% of all of the fuel is spent in achieving orbit, so this may simply not be possible unless his mass was accounted for.

mikhail

seamus wrote: »

An 80kg man weighs more than many smaller satellites, but even for a 1 tonne+ satellite, is still heavy enough to result in a failure to achieve orbit - unless his mass has been accounted for.

Leave out some critical component. If we're going for wacky, it can turn out to be the very bit he needs to solve the next obsticle in his path.

RebelButtMunch

Perhaps he is in cahoots with a rogue nation like North-Korbekuztan. They send him up, on condition he does a little job for them.

28064212

Since he doesn't age, would it not make way, way, way more sense for him to qualify as an astronaut, given he has an eternity to do it in? Or for that matter, for him to contact NASA and say "You know all that expensive and heavy stuff you have to send up with your astronauts with the only purpose being to provide them with oxygen? Well, you'll never guess what I can do..."?

The Hill Billy

Maybe he could work in Cern & get accidentally sucked into a man-made wormhole that transports him into space. Mind you, he'd need to be fully kitted out with anti-radiation gear & an oxygen supply beforehand.

Gate12

Thanks a million, all great stuff. I'll remember the vacuum/solar radiation situation if it's not going to be a manned rocket. And a space elevator or space gun would have solved everything under other circumstances! At $250,000, a Virgin Galactic ticket isn't too far fetched, and it could be a fallback.
Having him trained as an astronaut would have taken the problem away, but unfortunately the character doesn't know who he is or that he has to get into space until well into halfway. But the "you'll never guess what I can do" is great. And you're right, RebelButtMunch, the rogue nation idea opens up a lot of paths. North-Korbekuztan is, as we all know, a beautiful and flexible place.
Wormholes, weight calculations, missing components, and Bill Cullen. Before I get them all mixed up, I better go and bloody write it. Cheers.

Pat Dunne

Gate12 wrote: »

Thanks a million, all great stuff. I'll remember the vacuum/solar radiation situation if it's not going to be a manned rocket. And a space elevator or space gun would have solved everything under other circumstances! At $250,000, a Virgin Galactic ticket isn't too far fetched, and it could be a fallback.
Having him trained as an astronaut would have taken the problem away, but unfortunately the character doesn't know who he is or that he has to get into space until well into halfway. But the "you'll never guess what I can do" is great. And you're right, RebelButtMunch, the rogue nation idea opens up a lot of paths. North-Korbekuztan is, as we all know, a beautiful and flexible place.
Wormholes, weight calculations, missing components, and Bill Cullen. Before I get them all mixed up, I better go and bloody write it. Cheers.

The very best of luck with the progect, please let us know when its finished.
Remember us all when the film premier comes to town

Gate12

Many thanks, I certainly will. And unlike The Martian guy, I'll give a nod to you all in the credits

ps200306

Have him cremated and send his ashes on one of those "send your loved one to the stars after death" offers.

(You didn't mention whether he needs to get to space alive :P )

Capt'n Midnight

Impersonate an astronaut.

All yer man needs is a bit of plastic surgery or one of those mission impossible masks.



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_orbital_launchers_families
sort by payload to LEO and there's loads that will carry a persons weight. Of course you'd have to rob many banks to pay for it. But lots of those countries could do with some foreign exchange hard currency.


If you only need to clear the atmosphere without getting into orbit you could hitch a ride on an ICBM test fire.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_HARP

ThunderCat

You could go the James Bond route and have your main character deliver a judo chop to a space bound astronaut as he is suiting up in the locker room 10 minutes before launch. Switch costumes. Your main character was the janitor there of course, which is how he got access to the building.

Capt'n Midnight

Stand on a manhole cover.