Are the Irish too mollycoddled by their parents.

Hollister11

Are we to babied, or mollycoddled by our parents into adulthood.

The majority tend to live with the parents until their 20's and even 30's paying 50/100 quid a week for everything to do done for us.

While my aunt works in the states and kids do be out on their own at 17/18 in college, working 3 jobs running a car, renting an apartment.

How come the Americans are so independent while we are mostly dependent,

nullzero

Yes

Dr Turk Turkelton

Ask a few Spanish parents about kids overstaying their welcome.

Shannon757

I'm 16. My parents already expect me to have a part time job and pay my own way for things such as credit. I have a dislocated collarbone and torn shoulder joint with my arm in a sling and my father still tells me to go out and get the buckets of turf. We don't get mollycoddled around these parts anyway.

ArtSmart

Like most social phenomena in Ireland, it seems to fall into two extremes.

eviltwin

My 19 yr old still lives at home. I must be a terrible parent. I even made her dinner tonight

Harvey Normal

eviltwin wrote: »

My 19 yr old still lives at home. I must be a terrible parent. I even made her dinner tonight

19 isn't 35

Car99

Much different societies. Most countries I've worked in , in Europe, are the same as ireland kids are suppored as long as the parents can.

zSparc

Hollister11 wrote: »

How come the Americans are so independent while we are mostly dependent,

I can only speak for myself, lived with my mother since I was 10, when 16 she was more out than in, I got my first jobs at 17 and I'm independent since. I bought a house, have a good job, driver's licence, kid - and I'm only in my 30's. I'd lived and worked in a number of countries over the years, never had a problem, I can be dropped in a middle of a sh*tstorm and will adapt and survive.

Not sure about the Irish in general, however it's true that some Irish adults act like they were hopeless children with no spine on their own. But I guess it's just like anywhere else. What I find most annoying is that in Ireland seems to be that weird "culture" of not saying things straight, but coming up with silly excuses instead of telling the story straight as it is. If you don't wanna go out ride bicycles because I am boring and no fun - tell me. Don't say you've hurt your neck or that your sister had a car accident. Those little lies always come up sooner or later leaving the person look childish and stupid.

suicide_circus

As the old saying goes;

"Twenty-one, you're no longer my son."

Shannon757

Shannon757 wrote: »

I'm 16. My parents already expect me to have a part time job and pay my own way for things such as credit. I have a dislocated collarbone and torn shoulder joint with my arm in a sling and my father still tells me to go out and get the buckets of turf. We don't get mollycoddled around these parts anyway.

I'm sensing a Monty Python "You thought you had it tough" sketch here........

Nonbias

Yes a lot are especially the middle-class ones who call themselves feminists and cry and cry and cry everyday

but in reality their problem lies within and they know their lack off character shines through always
and they want what everybody see's in the stronger women and they know the real quality men even see it in these women

they feel so entitled to it without the struggle because of their high status job or looks
but fail and their hatred off men grows and grows

Hammer89

Shannon757 wrote: »

I'm 16. My parents already expect me to have a part time job and pay my own way for things such as credit. I have a dislocated collarbone and torn shoulder joint with my arm in a sling and my father still tells me to go out and get the buckets of turf. We don't get mollycoddled around these parts anyway.

Must've been some ****.

darkpagandeath

Ask that lad shouting at the guy speaking for israel. Shouting "I have been on this campus for 10 years."

sondagefaux

eviltwin wrote: »

My 19 yr old still lives at home. I must be a terrible parent. I even made her dinner tonight

Cut one of her legs off with a chainsaw tomorrow. Just to balance things out like...

sondagefaux

eviltwin wrote: »

My 19 yr old still lives at home. I must be a terrible parent. I even made her dinner tonight

Cut one of her legs off with a chainsaw tomorrow. Just to balance things out like...

corner of hells

sondagefaux wrote: »

Cut one of her legs off with a chainsaw tomorrow. Just to balance things out like...

Is that both legs now or a double post ?

sondagefaux

corner of hells wrote: »

sondagefaux wrote: »

Cut one of her legs off with a chainsaw tomorrow. Just to balance things out like...

Is that both legs now or a double post ?

One at a time...

BalcombeSt4

Nonbias wrote: »

Yes a lot are especially the middle-class ones who call themselves feminists and cry and cry and cry everyday

but in reality their problem lies within and they know their lack off character shines through always
and they want what everybody see's in the stronger women and they know the real quality men even see it in these women

they feel so entitled to it without the struggle because of their high status job or looks
but fail and their hatred off men grows and grows

I think you posted this in the wrong thread.

corner of hells

BalcombeSt4 wrote: »

I think you posted this in the wrong thread.

I thought that myself , but didn't want to look dopey by saying anything.

Nonbias

It's probably in the wrong tread you're right
but anyway most women are great and probably stronger than men in many ways ''emotionally anyway''
If the normal ones would say sometime men would listen

that's all bye

Anita Blow

Could be due to the 20% deposit one needs for a house or the extortionate rents now demanded, and the rock-and-hard-place scenario both of those leave a 20-something year old in if they want to save for a house but can't afford to both save and rent.

Hollister11

Anita Blow wrote: »

Could be due to the 20% deposit one needs for a house or the extortionate rents now demanded, and the rock-and-hard-place scenario both of those leave a 20-something year old in if they want to save for a house but can't afford to both save and rent.

This isn't a new thing. The rules of only been in place for 2 years.

arayess

Nonbias wrote: »

Yes a lot are especially the middle-class ones who call themselves feminists and cry and cry and cry everyday

but in reality their problem lies within and they know their lack off character shines through always
and they want what everybody see's in the stronger women and they know the real quality men even see it in these women

they feel so entitled to it without the struggle because of their high status job or looks
but fail and their hatred off men grows and grows

i like you

whoopsadoodles

My mammy went to penneys to get me tights today, and she made me a brack. My Dad brings my dog for a walk every day.

They would do pretty much anything at all in the world for me. At the drop of a hat.

However I started working and handing over money at 14 and moved out of home when I was still a teenager and have never beem financially dependant on them since then.

Think I've a good balance really

Clarebelly

Hollister11 wrote: »

While my aunt works in the states and kids do be out on their own at 17/18 in college, working 3 jobs running a car, renting an apartment.

Fair play to them for rushing head long into the capitalistic rat race.

ChikiChiki

Hollister11 wrote: »

Are we to babied, or mollycoddled by our parents into adulthood.

The majority tend to live with the parents until their 20's and even 30's paying 50/100 quid a week for everything to do done for us.

While my aunt works in the states and kids do be out on their own at 17/18 in college, working 3 jobs running a car, renting an apartment.

How come the Americans are so independent while we are mostly dependent,

I fcuking love Ireland I really do but this part has me begrudgingly emigrating at 29. There is nowhere of decent quality to rent for an affordable price that is not miles away from my work in the city centre. I've been one of many I know who have lived out and had to return home due to landlords increasing prices at an extortionate rate.

mfceiling

Shannon757 wrote: »

I'm 16. My parents already expect me to have a part time job and pay my own way for things such as credit. I have a dislocated collarbone and torn shoulder joint with my arm in a sling and my father still tells me to go out and get the buckets of turf. We don't get mollycoddled around these parts anyway.

Have you that turf in yet?

oik

I don't know about mollycoddled. Maybe. People live at home longer in Ireland because the rent is so high and they can't get a mortgage.

As for American's who move out young. You'd be surprised at how many of them get their rent paid for by their parents when they first move out, whereas the majority of Irish parents wouldn't consider paying their child's rent unless they were still in college.

I know American lads who's parents paid for them to move into apartments that cost more per month than they were earning at work.

Dr Crayfish

These threads always pan out the same - people who live at home are so pathetic - I left home when I was 14 and worked 23 hours a day etc etc.
I lived at home a few times throughout my adult life when I was between houses or moving abroad. I liked it! Now I own my own house so those days are over unfortunately.
More and more folks are going to have to stay at home for longer given the lack of housing in this country, I feel for that generation.

4ensic15

I blame the parents! many don't see that they are doing anything wrong in prolonging their offspring's childhood.

The_Valeyard

No.

Now shut up or I will tell my mom, she says I'm special.

whoopsadoodles

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

These threads always pan out the same - people who live at home are so pathetic - I left home when I was 14 and worked 23 hours a day etc etc.
I lived at home a few times throughout my adult life when I was between houses or moving abroad. I liked it! Now I own my own house so those days are over unfortunately.
More and more folks are going to have to stay at home for longer given the lack of housing in this country, I feel for that generation.

A lot of folk think if it wasn't done the way they did it, then it was done wrong. When you get some perspective on life you tend to realise that there is no one size fits all and that you're likely know feck all about other people's lives, despite what you think you know.

I'd happily have my kids living with me long enough that they have more time to save for their own place, or study for better results etc. I'm in a position where I could do that, so what harm.

Fast Spaceship

zSparc wrote: »

I can only speak for myself, lived with my mother since I was 10, when 16 she was more out than in, I got my first jobs at 17 and I'm independent since. I bought a house, have a good job, driver's licence, kid - and I'm only in my 30's. I'd lived and worked in a number of countries over the years, never had a problem, I can be dropped in a middle of a sh*tstorm and will adapt and survive.

Not sure about the Irish in general, however it's true that some Irish adults act like they were hopeless children with no spine on their own. But I guess it's just like anywhere else. What I find most annoying is that in Ireland seems to be that weird "culture" of not saying things straight, but coming up with silly excuses instead of telling the story straight as it is. If you don't wanna go out ride bicycles because I am boring and no fun - tell me. Don't say you've hurt your neck or that your sister had a car accident. Those little lies always come up sooner or later leaving the person look childish and stupid.

I think Irish people are on average quite insecure, I think that's why they are overly polite, drink too much and give bullsh1t excuses, they are people pleasers.

HalloweenJack

Dr Turk Turkelton wrote: »

Ask a few Spanish parents about kids overstaying their welcome.

You sure about that?

I know of plenty of Spaniards whose parents think they shouldn't move out 'til they're married. Working in a different city or studying in a different city seem to be the only exceptions. Anything else is a waste of money that should be saved.

I live with my GF, she had a to nag her dad for nearly a year before he somewhat came round to the idea (still isn't 100%). Wish this wasn't normal but I've heard plenty of similar anecdotes.

Holograph

Such a culture is supposed to be rampant in Spain, as said by HalloweenJack, and Italy. Maybe it's a catholic thing?

Personally I think it is fair enough for someone to live with their parents until college is completed (if college is local of course) and enough is saved for a rental deposit. And I don't see an issue with returning there temporarily if life circumstances dictate it.

Even if someone stays there until later but pays their own way, helps out around the house, has their own car, and does their own thing, well that is not the same as being a scrounger lacking in independence.

The independence of Americans from a young age was mentioned - not a bad thing in general of course, but there seems to be a trend of getting married very young among many Americans. Not that this is wrong but it does increase the risk of divorce with the inevitability of many people changing drastically between the ages of, say, 23 and 35.

Your Face

Jaysus.

oik

Holograph wrote: »

Such a culture is supposed to be rampant in Spain, as said by HalloweenJack, and Italy. Maybe it's a catholic thing?

Personally I think it is fair enough for someone to live with their parents until college is completed (if college is local of course) and enough is saved for a rental deposit. And I don't see an issue with returning there temporarily if life circumstances dictate it.

Even if someone stays there until later but pays their own way, helps out around the house, has their own car, and does their own thing, well that is not the same as being a scrounger lacking in independence.

The independence of Americans from a young age was mentioned - not a bad thing in general of course, but there seems to be a trend of getting married very young among many Americans. Not that this is wrong but it does increase the risk of divorce with the inevitability of many people changing drastically between the ages of, say, 23 and 35.

The reason Americans have a culture of independence is because in 1950 you could afford to buy a house and raise a family on one manual labourer's salary at the age of 22. It was about the same for the generation after that and the one after that and now we're getting to millennials who still want the independence of their parents had so they move out and live beyond their means single and childless.

In Ireland we used to stay in the gaf until the parents croaked it and left us the farm. Now we stay at home until we're in our mid twenties if we're smart, find a future spouse who earns and move in together. And we actually have a lot of kids unlike most other countries.

Rough Sleeper

Dunno, if I managed to buy a nice semi-detached in middle-class Dublin suburb for two years' public sector pay, I reckon I'd feel pretty predisposed to letting my kids hang about as long as they wanted

Your aunt's children sound more enslaved than liberated, by the by.

Crea

Once we had a fullbtime job we were out. My mother wouldn't tolerate us being unemployed so we worked in shops/pubs/factories. The oldest to move out was 23.
No excuse for an adult working ft to live at home.

Atlantic Dawn

I'd have bought a house at 21 if it was possible, sadly the country is in a state of high property prices are good for the economy, but the reality if people can't afford to buy a house and settle a family the older generation of landlords and degenerates will have their state pensions cut to €25.99 a week if there's no new generation coming up to finance them. Dead in the water so to speak.

worded

When i were young...... monty pithon
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo

Arcade_Tryer

Crea wrote: »

Once we had a fullbtime job we were out. My mother wouldn't tolerate us being unemployed so we worked in shops/pubs/factories. The oldest to move out was 23.
No excuse for an adult working ft to live at home.

Enlighten us on how you managed to count to infinity.

SarahVOW

There's a big difference between Dublin and rest of Ireland when it it comes to this.

Im 29 and from a small town in Waterford, all my friends had moved out of their parents houses between 18-23 (with the exception of a few weeks here and there when stuck between things) I'd be surprised if even 10% of the people I went to school with lived at home past 25

My partner is 31 from Dublin and most of his friends and other friends I've made since moving to Dublin live at home in there late 20s early 30s most never having moved out.

tomwaterford

Crea wrote: »

Once we had a fullbtime job we were out. My mother wouldn't tolerate us being unemployed so we worked in shops/pubs/factories. The oldest to move out was 23.
No excuse for an adult working ft to live at home.

Even if youve to work the farm after work each day and can't afford to rent within 40 mins of home?