Anyone smoke 'Major'?

Hooked

On me hols at present, auld fella has asked me to pick up 200 cigs for a mate of his, who smokes Major. Not a smoker myself but I'm guessing this is an Irish brand? As they are not available here in Lanzarote.

Anyone care to suggest an alternative cig brand? I look forward to sifting through numerous puns, witty replies and general AH replies - in the hope of fining an actual answer...

Ahhhh... Off to the pool with me

Glebee

Silk cut purple

Wigglepuppy

Probably nobody over 65 on this forum, so unlikely.

the evasion_kid

Woodbines

RayM

When I worked in a shop, we could always tell what (or if) customers smoked, just by looking at them.

Fratton Fred

Major?

All the people I know who smoked them are dead. Oddly enough.

Buy him a small radioactive isotope, probably less harmful.

suicide_circus

You won't get major, carrolls or john player blue outside Ireland. Should have bought in the airport on the way out.

finbarrk

Wigglepuppy wrote: »

Probably nobody over 65 on this forum, so unlikely.

2 friends of mine smoke them. Both in their 50's.

Arghus

If there's ever any chemical processing plants that catch fire nearby you should send him over to get a few lungfuls of the fumes. That's fairly close.

Or attach a heat resistant funnel to a smouldering bit of turf and have a good drag out of it.

Penny Tration

finbarrk wrote: »

2 friends of mine smoke them. Both in their 50's.

Yeah my dad is early fifties and smoked them til he quit.


OP, something like Benson or Marlboro red (not gold) will suit him

One_Of_Shanks

Major are very strong so I'd guess either Benson & Hedges OR maybe marlboro, probably benson. Marlboro might actually be too strong.

Boom_Bap

If you buy a brand of ciggies for a smoker that they dont smoke, they will accept them and smoke them, but will begrudge you until the day they die.

Penny Tration

Boom_Bap wrote: »

If you buy a brand of ciggies for a smoker that they dont smoke, they will accept them and smoke them, but will begrudge you until the day they die.

It depends on their financial situation!

When I smoked, I couldn't really afford them. I smoked either Carroll's or Mayfair menthol (I know, odd combination). When my folks brought me home 200 Silk Cut Purple from a holiday, I didn't begrudge it at all because it saved me a lot of money.


That said, I didn't enjoy smoking them :pac:

andekwarhola

The preferred smoke brand of drunk Dublin uncles in the 80s.

Once you saw a packet of Major at a family gathering, you knew there'd be a few bob for you or even a sly sup of Harp.

kfallon

andekwarhola wrote: »

The preferred smoke brand of drunk Dublin uncles in the 80s.

Once you saw a packet of Major at a family gathering, you knew there'd be a few bob for you or even a sly sup of Harp.

Don't knock Harp my friend!

OP I think Edwina Currie once 'smoked' Major iirc......

Your Face

I smoke a pipe whilst ruminating on the details of my latest case.

One_Of_Shanks

Your Face wrote: »

I smoke a pipe whilst ruminating on the details of my latest case.

your suitcase or briefcase?

foggy_lad

Penny Tration wrote: »

Yeah my dad is early fifties and smoked them til he quit.


OP, something like Benson or Marlboro red (not gold) will suit him

Jaysus OP don't get him Marlboro unless you get him a cowboy hat to go with them.

Boom_Bap wrote: »

If you buy a brand of ciggies for a smoker that they dont smoke, they will accept them and smoke them, but will begrudge you until the day they die.

But if you arrived home with no duty free at all after being out foreign they will never ever believe you could not get 200 Major or even Gold Bond and will tell everyone they meet that you lied to them for the rest of their days.

Teyla Emmagan

Penny Tration wrote:

When I smoked, I couldn't really afford them. I smoked either Carroll's or Mayfair menthol (I know, odd combination). When my folks brought me home 200 Silk Cut Purple from a holiday, I didn't begrudge it at all because it saved me a lot of money.

God my mother would have cut off her own arm before buying me cigarettes.

Thankfully now I am back in the good books because I have also quit

Winterlong

Get him some silkcut purple. Break the filters off.
He wont know the difference.

Musketeer4

Boom_Bap wrote: »

If you buy a brand of ciggies for a smoker that they dont smoke, they will accept them and smoke them, but will begrudge you until the day they die.

Won't be begrudging you for too long then so.

Fratton Fred wrote: »

Major?
All the people I know who smoked them are dead. Oddly enough.
Buy him a small radioactive isotope, probably less harmful.

Was just thinking the same. The only person I know who smoked Major was my granduncle and he's dead. Fair ****s to him though, he got TB at 20 and had one lung removed. Then he smoked a 50-pack of major a day until dying at the age of 86. My memory of him are mostly brown coloured - his clothes, fingers and even the inside of his house was light brown from the atmosphere consisting of 92% fag smoke for several decades.

I'm not sure 50 pack majors are available anymore, are they? Are 20s the biggest available now. I remember the distinctively huge pack majors came in.

RayM wrote: »

When I worked in a shop, we could always tell what (or if) customers smoked, just by looking at them.

This is a good one. Lets stereotype:

John Player Blue - Ah heyor, howayis.
Silk cut - women
Carrolls - plasterers and carpenters
Superkings - yuppies
Marlboro - classy posh people.
B&H - petrolheads

RayM

Musketeer4 wrote: »

John Player Blue - Ah heyor, howayis.

Major was the same, but older and in a more gravelly voice.

Musketeer4

I would have had Majors as the smoke of choice for bachelor farmers of ample means.

CJmasgrande

20 yeats ago i worked in a shop that was beside a factory. About 20 staff from the factory bought between 20 to 60 Major daily. Every one of those 20 people are dead now and all died relatively young.

The Bishop Basher

suicide_circus wrote: »

You won't get major, carrolls or john player blue outside Ireland. Should have bought in the airport on the way out.

You can get Johnny Blue in Spain, Canaries etc..

I think they import them specifically for the paddy's on holiday..

Still cost 75% less then they do here..

They also have a similar brand that look identical called Urban Blue..

When I smoked i would only smoke one brand. If you brought me home a different brand i'd just flog them and get my own. Others might be different though.

Mollyb60

This is a good one. Lets stereotype:

John Player Blue - Ah heyor, howayis.
Silk cut - women
Carrolls - plasterers and carpenters
Superkings - yuppies
Marlboro - classy posh people.
B&H - petrolheads

I would say that Marlboro red are low level hipsters with Marlboro white smokers as the ultimate hipsters.

Also my mam has smoked Major since she was 13, now in her fifties. Woe betide anyone who goes on holiday and doesn't bring her back fags of any type. She knows she can sell them on to people and then buy her stinky Major with the money.

Edit:
WTF is with the quoting on this forum ffs?

chakotha

L&M Reds are a strong middle of the road brand found all over Europe.

Penny Tration

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

God my mother would have cut off her own arm before buying me cigarettes.

Thankfully now I am back in the good books because I have also quit

Ah, see when I went on holidays, I'd bring back my allowance of smokes and give her half, so she bought me some on her trips in return.

I'm off them now, as are my sister and dad, so now on holidays, I just bring back my entire allowance for her

lee_baby_simms

My uncle smoked Major, my clear memory of him is how every time he started laughing it would quickly become a nasty cough.

He's long dead now of course.

finno

suicide_circus wrote: »

You won't get major, carrolls or john player blue outside Ireland. Should have bought in the airport on the way out.

You can get John Player Blue outside of Ireland.

Your Face

One_Of_Shanks wrote: »

your suitcase or briefcase?

The Case of the Brief Suit.

lee_baby_simms

When I smoked I loved being in Spain and picking up as many 50g pouches of DRUM as I could manage. Good times.

grouchyman

Smoked them up to 1990 when I gave up the smokes. Absolutely loved them! Best cigarette on the market back then by a country mile.

grouchyman

Forgot to say. - Friday Breakfast back then - 20 Majors half-pint of milk and a packet of tayto.

lee_baby_simms

grouchyman wrote: »

Smoked them up to 1990 when I gave up the smokes. Absolutely loved them! Best cigarette on the market back then by a country mile.

I imagine they really hit the spot after a rake of pints.

grouchyman

lee_baby_simms wrote: »

I imagine they really hit the spot after a rake of pints.

Most definitely

foggy_lad

I used to smoke John Players black and can imagine that my lungs looked like the box of fags after a few years, also smoked Camel with/out filters for a few years:eek:

somesoldiers

I was at a christening on Sunday and the mother of the baby had accidentally got some fake tan on the little guy's fingers- looked like he had been smoking Major

lee_baby_simms

My friends father used to smoke unfiltered players. We used to nick a few off him when we were teenagers. They were foot to the floor smokes, my friend once puked after smoking one. Now that's a real sign that you're getting value for money.

josip

My granduncle smoked Woodbines and once by mistake my mother got him Major.
I was about 10 at the time and used to bring him the shopping.
When he saw the pack of Major, he broke off the filter, lit it up and said "They'll do".
He had a small portable television and about once a month he'd tell me the signal on the telly was gone bad again (1980s).
So I'd wash the screen with a cloth to remove the Woodbine residue and he'd say "Good man, you've fixed it again."

suicide_circus

Swanner wrote: »

You can get Johnny Blue in Spain, Canaries etc..

I think they import them specifically for the paddy's on holiday..

Still cost 75% less then they do here..

They also have a similar brand that look identical called Urban Blue..

When I smoked i would only smoke one brand. If you brought me home a different brand i'd just flog them and get my own. Others might be different though.

Yes, Urban Blue is a canary island knock-off of John Player Blue.

finno wrote: »

You can get John Player Blue outside of Ireland.

You can get JPS Blue (John Player Special) but I'm almost certain John Player blue is only in the Irish market.

Seth Brundle

I smoked Major until about two and a half years ago. They were lovely. Great taste and aroma.
Another good thing about them was that scabs would turn them down.
Gave up smoking and have since had a heart attack.
Never had a problem with my ticker while I smoked. Just saying!

eviltimeban

Aye, but what about Sweet Afton?

Seth Brundle

eviltimeban wrote: »

Aye, but what about Sweet Afton?

If you're an 80 year old auld wan

shamrock2004

Friend of the family smoked them for donkey's years and all he had to show for that was a few heart attacks.

steamengine

Major was/is a very strong cigarette, nearest equivalent would be Benson and Hedges - much preferred Carrolls No 1 myself, much smoother tobacco but still a strong smoke.

Other 50/60's iconic cigarette brands - Woodbines - the working class cigarette, then Players and Sweet Afton for the rest and maybe Churchman's No 1 for those that thought they were a cut above the rest of us. :rolleyes:

All untipped - filters arrived later - can't remember exactly when !

finno

suicide_circus wrote: »

Yes, Urban Blue is a canary island knock-off of John Player Blue.



You can get JPS Blue (John Player Special) but I'm almost certain John Player blue is only in the Irish market.

I got John Player Blue last year in benidorm

RobertKK

Tell your friend you were faced with a moral dilemma, that you could never forgive yourself when attending his funeral after dying from cancer and/or heart disease knowing you helped to contribute to his demise.
That you care too much for him, and after his death, the guilt would kill you.
Go heavy on the death bit...

MeatTwoVeg

CJmasgrande wrote:

20 yeats ago i worked in a shop that was beside a factory. About 20 staff from the factory bought between 20 to 60 Major daily. Every one of those 20 people are dead now and all died relatively young.

Wow!
Terrorist attack on the factory?

josip

RobertKK wrote: »

Tell your friend you were faced with a moral dilemma, that you could never forgive yourself when attending his funeral after dying from cancer and/or heart disease knowing you helped to contribute to his demise.
That you care too much for him, and after his death, the guilt would kill you.
Go heavy on the death bit...

If they've been smoking Major for years they might be doing everything to speed up the death bit. Blessed release.

Dyr

lee_baby_simms wrote: »

My friends father used to smoke unfiltered players. We used to nick a few off him when we were teenagers. They were foot to the floor smokes, my friend once puked after smoking one. Now that's a real sign that you're getting value for money.

My old man used to smoke Sweet Afton and Players were only the second choice

When I was like 10 years old I'd be sent out for his fags, the lad in the shop would urge me to consider john player blue instead..for my own good like