Non-Religious Ceremony

Walter H Price

Just looking to know if any of you fine people have had or attended a non religious wedding ?

Up until recently we had been planning on getting married in a Church though neither of us are the least bit religious, but having talked about it a little more neither of us really feel comfortable doing that what with all the God and Jesus stuff and committing to baptize kids (which we have no intention of doing ) and so on.

So basically were now looking at doing a Humanist ceremony (possibly with a little Celtic twist) in the Hotel where we were having the reception anyway.

Any tips , thoughts or experiences would be awesome as neither of us have ever been to non religious wedding or no anyone that's had one

eviltwin

I got married in a registry office and I've been to a few non religious weddings. The one thing I like is that they are all so unique to the couple unlike the traditional church service so you can make it as personal as you want. Take a bit of time to think about what you want it to say about you, what features you'd like. I know there will be some good suggestions from posters here to give you some inspiration.

SarahMollie

First of all, check that the venue can accommodate a civil ceremony and also if they'll charge you extra to have it there.

Secondly, going by my friends experience and things I've read here, Humanists are in extremely high demand at the moment. You'd want to get booking asap.

I think they're fairly open to letting your ceremony be whatever you want it to be, and I've been to a few and I know they'd be my preference. They tend to me shorter (like 20-30 mins) and if its a single location, you can start a bit later in the day which I think your guests will really appreciate.

stargazer 68

We are having a Humanist ceremony at our hotel. It will be about 40 minutes and our Celebrant has been really helpful with everything. They do book up way in advance so if you decide to go that route you will need to get emailing.

Walter H Price

eviltwin wrote: »

I got married in a registry office and I've been to a few non religious weddings. The one thing I like is that they are all so unique to the couple unlike the traditional church service so you can make it as personal as you want. Take a bit of time to think about what you want it to say about you, what features you'd like. I know there will be some good suggestions from posters here to give you some inspiration.

SarahMollie wrote: »

First of all, check that the venue can accommodate a civil ceremony and also if they'll charge you extra to have it there.

Secondly, going by my friends experience and things I've read here, Humanists are in extremely high demand at the moment. You'd want to get booking asap.

I think they're fairly open to letting your ceremony be whatever you want it to be, and I've been to a few and I know they'd be my preference. They tend to me shorter (like 20-30 mins) and if its a single location, you can start a bit later in the day which I think your guests will really appreciate.

Dovies wrote: »

We are having a Humanist ceremony at our hotel. It will be about 40 minutes and our Celebrant has been really helpful with everything. They do book up way in advance so if you decide to go that route you will need to get emailing.

Thanks guys , yeh the Hotel has two rooms for civil cermonys were going to view one next week it'l only be and extra €250 for the venue fully decorated ... but we were going to have to pay for cars , the church , a pre marrige course etc so actually works out way cheaper . weve contacted a few Humanisits and 3 have so far said they are availible for our date next November also looking at the possibility of going the Celtic / Pagan route for the ceremony but will hopefully be making a final decision by the end of the month.

I love the idea of have a totally personalized and Unique ceremony vs the bog standard RCC template , plus the idea of incorporating some real Irish Tradition and some of the Celtic Mysticism maybe just find that stuff very romantic.

Speedwell

My husband and I are private people and we had a very small, plain wedding at the registry office with just us, the registrar, a couple clerks borrowed from the secretarial pool as witnesses, a bouquet and boutonniere for flowers, and my mobile phone for photographs. But we still look back on it with a smile. There's a certain charm in doing just enough and no more.

Shybride2016

I got married in April and had a humanist ceremony in the hotel.

We could tailor our ceremony whatever way we wanted with readings and music. We spent a long time picking both and we both felt that the ceremony was our favourite part of the day.

We had small children there too so we were conscious not to have it too long, think it was 25 minutes from start to finish.

Guests loved having everything in the one venue, no hassle of travelling from one place to another. Short but very meaningful ceremony.

Neither of us are religious (in fact I have major issues with RCC) so didn't want any religious aspect to the day so this suited us perfectly and our celebrant was just wonderful every step of the planning and on the day itself.

I would agree with others that have said to make your enquiries ASAP as they do book up fast, especially for weekends.

Best of luck with your decision and enjoy the planning.

SarahMollie

Thats good Walter.

Probably the fact that your wedding is in November (off peak) is making it easier to get a celebrant with availability.

As far as I know, most of them will be fairly accommodating Any I've been to (just 2 so far, but I was also at a humanist funeral once which was incredible) are extremely personal and far more memorable than going to mass.

I also think that unless you're regular mass goers, the secular route is more authentic.

Walter H Price

Shybride2016 wrote: »

I got married in April and had a humanist ceremony in the hotel.

We could tailor our ceremony whatever way we wanted with readings and music. We spent a long time picking both and we both felt that the ceremony was our favourite part of the day.

We had small children there too so we were conscious not to have it too long, think it was 25 minutes from start to finish.

Guests loved having everything in the one venue, no hassle of travelling from one place to another. Short but very meaningful ceremony.

Neither of us are religious (in fact I have major issues with RCC) so didn't want any religious aspect to the day so this suited us perfectly and our celebrant was just wonderful every step of the planning and on the day itself.

I would agree with others that have said to make your enquiries ASAP as they do book up fast, especially for weekends.

Best of luck with your decision and enjoy the planning.

Thats really helpful thanks , Just out of intrest what kind of readings did you have ? are ther like ones avilible or do you get given templates etc ?

I was thinking of having certain people maybe write their own like personal anicdotes and so on

Think most of our guests will be the same its a lovely hotel and their all staying the night before so would be much less hassle , we are already inquiring and hoping to have a final decision by the end of August at the very latest.

stargazer 68

Walter H Price wrote: »

Thats really helpful thanks , Just out of intrest what kind of readings did you have ? are ther like ones avilible or do you get given templates etc ?

I was thinking of having certain people maybe write their own like personal anicdotes and so on

.

They will have samples of readings. we picked our own - one is a Pam Ayres poem which is amusing but really lovely. We are having a 2 day event so most of our guests will be checking in on sat and not leaving the hotel until Monday!

Shybride2016

Walter H Price wrote: »

Thats really helpful thanks , Just out of intrest what kind of readings did you have ? are ther like ones avilible or do you get given templates etc ?

I was thinking of having certain people maybe write their own like personal anicdotes and so on

Think most of our guests will be the same its a lovely hotel and their all staying the night before so would be much less hassle , we are already inquiring and hoping to have a final decision by the end of August at the very latest.

Our celebrant forwarded us a load of readings to look through but we could have had anything as long as there was no religious content.

We ended up choosing both from the ones she sent us but there's no restrictions as far as I'm aware anyway.

Sounds like our guest list - we had most of ours travelling over the night before from abroad so wanted to make it as convenient as possible for them without adding extra car journeys/buses between venues etc.

Aw I want to do it all again!!

Walter H Price

Dovies wrote: »

They will have samples of readings. we picked our own - one is a Pam Ayres poem which is amusing but really lovely. We are having a 2 day event so most of our guests will be checking in on sat and not leaving the hotel until Monday!

Shybride2016 wrote: »

Our celebrant forwarded us a load of readings to look through but we could have had anything as long as there was no religious content.

We ended up choosing both from the ones she sent us but there's no restrictions as far as I'm aware anyway.

Sounds like our guest list - we had most of ours travelling over the night before from abroad so wanted to make it as convenient as possible for them without adding extra car journeys/buses between venues etc.

Aw I want to do it all again!!

Thats cool , ye i like the idea of incorportating a poem or maybe a spoken word of a song or somthing like that , really glad theres reading tbh i was worried we wouldnt be able to include guests as much but thats great.

Yeh my Fiance has a big family and there all travelling up from Kildare the night before for convenience so would make the logistics way easier.

Shybride2016

Walter H Price wrote: »

Thats cool , ye i like the idea of incorportating a poem or maybe a spoken word of a song or somthing like that , really glad theres reading tbh i was worried we wouldnt be able to include guests as much but thats great.

Yeh my Fiance has a big family and there all travelling up from Kildare the night before for convenience so would make the logistics way easier.

Oh you can definitely include guests in your ceremony with the readings. We had two but you can choose more if you want. Also, we had some short reflections, two-liners, so if you had a very enthusiastic speaker or two among your guests you could ask them to read something.

Walter H Price

Shybride2016 wrote: »

Oh you can definitely include guests in your ceremony with the readings. We had two but you can choose more if you want. Also, we had some short reflections, two-liners, so if you had a very enthusiastic speaker or two among your guests you could ask them to read something.

Yeh we will have a few for sure , would love to include guests perticularly our closest friends and immediate family in the Cermony as much as possible

I was somewhat worried that a humanist ceremony would be a bit of short snappy afair but have to say you guys are really selling me on the idea, just sounds really personal like

Mrs OBumble

Do you actually agree with Humanist beliefs? If not, then having a Humanist ceremony is just as two faced as having a Christian ceremony would be.

A better option would be to do the legals in the registry office, and then have whatever ceremony you want in the hotel - with the form of the ceremony crafted by you to express your own beliefs. Recruit a friend who you know is good at being an MC to similar to lead it - or even hire an actor if none of your friends fit the bill.

Speedwell

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Do you actually agree with Humanist beliefs? If not, then having a Humanist ceremony is just as two faced as having a Christian ceremony would be.

A better option would be to do the legals in the registry office, and then have whatever ceremony you want in the hotel - with the form of the ceremony crafted by you to express your own beliefs. Recruit a friend who you know is good at being an MC to similar to lead it - or even hire an actor if none of your friends fit the bill.

Anyone can choose to have a secular wedding. Plenty of Christians do so in the US; they just believe all on their own that their Christian beliefs apply to what they have done in the Justice of the Peace's office or the Vegas wedding chapel.

Walter H Price

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Do you actually agree with Humanist beliefs? If not, then having a Humanist ceremony is just as two faced as having a Christian ceremony would be.

A better option would be to do the legals in the registry office, and then have whatever ceremony you want in the hotel - with the form of the ceremony crafted by you to express your own beliefs. Recruit a friend who you know is good at being an MC to similar to lead it - or even hire an actor if none of your friends fit the bill.

Having looked at them , there isn't a whole lot i would disagree with in terms of Humanism , but that said i havnt spent a huge amount of research nto it yet.

Really not intrested in going the registry office route at all , just seems a bit to souless and unromantic , i get it works great for allot of people but just not for us at all.

GingerLily

Walter H Price wrote: »

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Do you actually agree with Humanist beliefs? If not, then having a Humanist ceremony is just as two faced as having a Christian ceremony would be.

A better option would be to do the legals in the registry office, and then have whatever ceremony you want in the hotel - with the form of the ceremony crafted by you to express your own beliefs. Recruit a friend who you know is good at being an MC to similar to lead it - or even hire an actor if none of your friends fit the bill.

Having looked at them , there isn't a whole lot i would disagree with in terms of Humanism , but that said i havnt spent a huge amount of research nto it yet.

Really not intrested in going the registry office route at all , just seems a bit to souless and unromantic , i get it works great for allot of people but just not for us at all.

Some people are very anti-humanist here, don't let it put you off!
I would suggest looking into humanism a bit more before approaching a humanist solemniser, to be on the safe side!

Walter H Price

GingerLily wrote: »

Some people are very anti-humanist here, don't let it put you off! !

I didnt think there was anything too sinister in it to be honest , i dont believe in any god or afterlife or any of that , more into the old science and logic.

I do love a bit of traditional Celtic Mystasism both of the Solomisers we have talke to are happy to encorporate elements of this.

eviltwin

Some people will question you using any non traditional celebrant if you don't have an obvious connection with that particular philosophy. Ironically a lot of these same people will have no such issues with non believers having a church wedding. Be prepared for a few comments, we had loads of criticism for going non religious. Stick to your guns though, it will be worth it.

Shybride2016

eviltwin wrote: »

Some people will question you using any non traditional celebrant if you don't have an obvious connection with that particular philosophy. Ironically a lot of these same people will have no such issues with non believers having a church wedding. Be prepared for a few comments, we had loads of criticism for going non religious. Stick to your guns though, it will be worth it.

Sorry to hear you were criticised for your choices. We thankfully had no such comments but if anyone had said anything they would have been told they were not welcome anymore.

What is it that drives normally sane people to make inappropriate comments when it comes to weddings?!

Walter H Price

eviltwin wrote: »

Some people will question you using any non traditional celebrant if you don't have an obvious connection with that particular philosophy. Ironically a lot of these same people will have no such issues with non believers having a church wedding. Be prepared for a few comments, we had loads of criticism for going non religious. Stick to your guns though, it will be worth it.

That's happened already my folks are totaly fine their athiests anyway i was only baptised because my granny insisted so no issue their , My Fiance is from a very untraditional single parent family but her half sister has already been kinda put out that we are considering going non religious.

Tbh i would be laughing off any criticism from our friends and family because other than 1 or 2 exceptions no one we know is in the least bit religious.

Princess Peach

We are having a sort of celtic style ceremony next week

Doing the hand fastening in the ceremony with ribbons, I think its a nice way to get family involved. And our celebrant will do a Celtic blessing at the end.

So many readings you could have too. We have a one from Bob Marley, and a WH Auden poem, and we are incorporating some nice quotes from books and films in our vows.

I like the flexibility you are allowed in a non religious ceremony, you can really be creative and make it your own.

Atomic Pineapple

Humanism Irelands Wedding FAQ is pretty good reading to see if a Humanist wedding is for you - http://humanism.ie/2015/05/faq-about-humanist-weddings/

Remember that there cannot be anything religious in the ceremony at all, that is the only real restriction. We are having a ring warming ceremony, handfasting and a sand ceremony in ours.

Walter H Price

Princess Peach wrote: »

We are having a sort of celtic style ceremony next week

Doing the hand fastening in the ceremony with ribbons, I think its a nice way to get family involved. And our celebrant will do a Celtic blessing at the end.

So many readings you could have too. We have a one from Bob Marley, and a WH Auden poem, and we are incorporating some nice quotes from books and films in our vows.

I like the flexibility you are allowed in a non religious ceremony, you can really be creative and make it your own.

Yeh the celtic stuff really appeals to me i loved all the old legends when i was a kid , im big into my family heritage (ive an old irish surname) , my ring im having custom made will be a band of Trinity Knots which again i love the symbolism and meaning behing. i think the hands fastening is incredibly romantic and unique, and the humanisits we have spoken to are more than happy to accomodate this.

I alread have some celtic poems and songs in mind for potential reading and wedding music and am looking into the possibility of having a Harpist or OIlean piper during the ceremony

Walter H Price

Atomic Pineapple wrote: »

Humanism Irelands Wedding FAQ is pretty good reading to see if a Humanist wedding is for you - http://humanism.ie/2015/05/faq-about-humanist-weddings/

Remember that there cannot be anything religious in the ceremony at all, that is the only real restriction. We are having a ring warming ceremony, handfasting and a sand ceremony in ours.

what is a ring warming ?

SarahMollie

Walter H Price wrote: »

what is a ring warming ?

Its where you pass your rings around amount your guests before you exchange them. Supposed to give the rings positive energy or some such.

Walter H Price

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Do you actually agree with Humanist beliefs? If not, then having a Humanist ceremony is just as two faced as having a Christian ceremony would be.
.

Having read up on Humanism , its hard for me to argue with any of their thinking , logic and science over dogma and oppression any day for me. i supported Marriage equality , repealing the 8th and chucking the church out of state education so i see no conflict of principles here.

Hard to argue with equality , dignity , respect and you know human rights :P

Atomic Pineapple

As above it's where the rings will be passed among the crowd during the first part of the ceremony and each person, we aren't doing it for any other reason other than an attempt to include as many people as possible.

Walter H Price

Atomic Pineapple wrote: »

As above it's where the rings will be passed among the crowd during the first part of the ceremony and each person, we aren't doing it for any other reason other than an attempt to include as many people as possible.

yeh it sounds kinda cool are you having alot of guests ? or is it more suited for small intimate cermonies , like will probibly have between 110 and 120 ppl

But i do really like the idea

GingerLily

Atomic Pineapple wrote: »

As above it's where the rings will be passed among the crowd during the first part of the ceremony and each person, we aren't doing it for any other reason other than an attempt to include as many people as possible.

We're having a standing ceremony outdoors, I don't think this would be safe for us!

runawaybishop

You can have a non-religious civil ceremony without it being humanist, at ours we had some people say some nice things, some other nice people played music and the registrar did his bit (nicely). Nothing religious, nothing mystical, very enjoyable.

Mrs OBumble

GingerLily wrote: »

Some people are very anti-humanist here, don't let it put you off!
I would suggest looking into humanism a bit more before approaching a humanist solemniser, to be on the safe side!

I'm actually very pro-Humanist.

But I don't see their ceremonies as appropriate for people who know they're not Christian, but why do still believe in the supernatural at some level (eg ring-warming and receiving energy from having rings passed around). Or for people who don't believe in tolerance of others belief systems, or intrinsic respect for all human beings just because they're human.

Courtn2

I was at a Humanist wedding earlier this year and I have to say I was disappointed.

When I heard the couple were going for one initially, I was looking forward to it,
but on the day, the celebrant just went through the motions, one of which was a patronising lecture on what Humanism is - to me the whole thing became a presentation on Humanism rather than a wedding celebration - in practically all church and registry weddings I've been to, the priest/celebrant at least had a touch of humanity and sense of humour.

Don't let this put you off - I believe this is down to a particular condescending celebrant, but what I would advise is not to lose focus on the fact that it's your wedding - suit yourselves and make sure the celebrant is aware that it's not an opportunity for them to advertise for their next gig.

My understanding was that the couple didn't really get an extensive run-through beforehand with the witnesses - no room to tweak or see what they were getting. Essentially it became celebrant's rules/celebrant's timelines.

Best of luck, no matter what option you choose, remember it's your celebration

Atomic Pineapple

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

I'm actually very pro-Humanist.

But I don't see their ceremonies as appropriate for people who know they're not Christian, but why do still believe in the supernatural at some level (eg ring-warming and receiving energy from having rings passed around). Or for people who don't believe in tolerance of others belief systems, or intrinsic respect for all human beings just because they're human.

Just to clarify I am 100% behind the humanist faith and have no belief in the supernatural at all, it was suggested to us by our celebrant to incorporate the ring warming, for us it is nothing more than an interesting way to include people in the ceremony, in fact the ring warming for us is a way of respecting everyone at our ceremony as anyone who is religious can say a prayer with them or a blessing or whatever is personal to them.

Walter H Price

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

I'm actually very pro-Humanist.

But I don't see their ceremonies as appropriate for people who know they're not Christian, but why do still believe in the supernatural at some level (eg ring-warming and receiving energy from having rings passed around). Or for people who don't believe in tolerance of others belief systems, or intrinsic respect for all human beings just because they're human.

i think i allighn fairly well with their priciples , i dont really believe in anything spiritual but i like the unique historic tradition mysticism here , i dont believe or Celtic heritage, legends and ancient customs are given the time or respect they deserve , so would love to incorporate some of these elements into our ceremony, be that through music poetry symbolism or ritual.

I found it hilarious when my Fiances half sisters boyfriend tried to tell us having a non catholic wedding wasn't Irish , Like whats more Irish than some made up middle eastern religion about the life of a Jew living under Roman rule , twisted to fit the feast days of the Roman pagan religion, brought to Ireland by a welsh slave hahahahaha

I want to tie in elements of culture that have been present here for a few thousand years and are relatively uniquely Irish customs and traditions.

Walter H Price

Atomic Pineapple wrote: »

Just to clarify I am 100% behind the humanist faith and have no belief in the supernatural at all, it was suggested to us by our celebrant to incorporate the ring warming, for us it is nothing more than an interesting way to include people in the ceremony, in fact the ring warming for us is a way of respecting everyone at our ceremony as anyone who is religious can say a prayer with them or a blessing or whatever is personal to them.

That is a really lovely idea

Walter H Price

Thanks so much to all you lovely people on here , cleared up allot for us yesterday

we've decided to book the Humanist Ceremony in the Hotel now , end of the day we're more comfortable with it than with all the God and Jesus lark, and love the ability to customize it to our tastes add in some of the Celtic traditions i'm really passionate about and involve our guests.

lazygal

We had a humanist wedding, before they could also do the legal bit. We're not religious so it wasn't a replacement for a religious ceremony and we ruled out any blessing-type readings entirely. We are members of HAI and align with it's views on many issues so there was no conflict of interest for us at all and no hypocrisy (unlike many, many religious ceremonies self-described atheists have had in our families and circles of friends). The celebrant has done other family events since. Best of luck OP!

kat939

Hey OP - I know you've said you're booking the humanist ceremony (I've been to a couple and they're lovely!) But just wanted to say we had a Celtic traditional ceremony that was a big hit -well, I liked it anyway! can pass on our celebrant's details if you were interested😊

ChewChew

Op, glad to read you both have gone for something to suit you both. We have a humanist ceremony planned for March and I'm very much lookin forward to it. Our celebrant also did a naming ceremony for our child last year and our guests were very surprised at how lovely and intimate the ceremony was (even though there had been a few comments about how could be possibly raise a child that has not been baptised and what about school!!!!) so I am super excited about the wedding. the humanist values are simplistic and 'normal' which is what I love about it.

Walter H Price

kat939 wrote: »

Hey OP - I know you've said you're booking the humanist ceremony (I've been to a couple and they're lovely!) But just wanted to say we had a Celtic traditional ceremony that was a big hit -well, I liked it anyway! can pass on our celebrant's details if you were interested😊

I would love a Traditional Celtic wedding but my Faience isn't overly keen unfortunately , the humanist ceremony with the few celtic bits tied in (Music, Poetry , Hand Fastening) was kind of a happy compromise for us

ChewChew wrote: »

Op, glad to read you both have gone for something to suit you both. We have a humanist ceremony planned for March and I'm very much lookin forward to it. Our celebrant also did a naming ceremony for our child last year and our guests were very surprised at how lovely and intimate the ceremony was (even though there had been a few comments about how could be possibly raise a child that has not been baptised and what about school!!!!) so I am super excited about the wedding. the humanist values are simplistic and 'normal' which is what I love about it.

Thank's Chew Chew , hope you guys have a great day in March , would love to know a bit more about the naming ceremony because we are planning on having kids as soon after our wedding as we can and do not intend on getting them baptize , i no my OH sister is very put out about this i think mostly because she expect's to be Godmother is there an equivalent with the Naming Ceremony ?

Shybride2016

Walter H Price wrote: »

I would love a Traditional Celtic wedding but my Faience isn't overly keen unfortunately , the humanist ceremony with the few celtic bits tied in (Music, Poetry , Hand Fastening) was kind of a happy compromise for us



Thank's Chew Chew , hope you guys have a great day in March , would love to know a bit more about the naming ceremony because we are planning on having kids as soon after our wedding as we can and do not intend on getting them baptize , i no my OH sister is very put out about this i think mostly because she expect's to be Godmother is there an equivalent with the Naming Ceremony ?

Jesus, when will people stop with the unwanted opinions?! It never fails to annoy me when I hear stories like yours.

Anyway, we had a naming ceremony for our first child in the Unitarian Church so not exactly non-religious but had none of the original sin stuff thankfully. We nominated two people as "godparents" but they were called "soul friends" during the ceremony.

As far as I'm aware godparent is only a title anyway it doesn't confer any responsibilities on to godparents apart from keeping up the religious ethos of the family does it?

baby and crumble

Shybride2016 wrote: »

As far as I'm aware godparent is only a title anyway it doesn't confer any responsibilities on to godparents apart from keeping up the religious ethos of the family does it?

I think it used to be assumed that if something happened the parents, one of the Godparents would take responsibility for the children to ensure they didn't go into care and such. I might be wrong though.

Walter H Price

Shybride2016 wrote: »

Jesus, when will people stop with the unwanted opinions?! It never fails to annoy me when I hear stories like yours.

Anyway, we had a naming ceremony for our first child in the Unitarian Church so not exactly non-religious but had none of the original sin stuff thankfully. We nominated two people as "godparents" but they were called "soul friends" during the ceremony.

As far as I'm aware godparent is only a title anyway it doesn't confer any responsibilities on to godparents apart from keeping up the religious ethos of the family does it?

Yeh it was kinda funny and jokey for a little while but patience starting to wear thin now with all the old cultural catholics giving us their tuppence hapenny worth on this stuff like . most of them dont see a church from one christmas to the next but are totally shocked were not getting married in one and have no intrest in baptizing kids.

baby and crumble wrote: »

I think it used to be assumed that if something happened the parents, one of the Godparents would take responsibility for the children to ensure they didn't go into care and such. I might be wrong though.

Yeh think you can name legal gaurdians for that now , Godparent is just to do with religion as far as i know. like i was hoping we could name gaurdians or something at a naming ceremony just to keep a few people sweet

baby and crumble

Walter H Price wrote: »

Yeh think you can name legal gaurdians for that now , Godparent is just to do with religion as far as i know. like i was hoping we could name gaurdians or something at a naming ceremony just to keep a few people sweet

You could come up with anything in fairness. I've heard "Earth Mother" used instead of Godmother but it does sound a bit hippy-dippy for my taste!

I like the idea of my kids (if I ever have any!) having adult "mentors" drawn from my friends. You know, just someone they can look up to and get advice from outside of their parents. I think that's important.

eviltwin

We use the term guide parent or in the case of myself I'm "auntie" even though I'm not related to the child in question.

Walter H Price

baby and crumble wrote: »

You could come up with anything in fairness. I've heard "Earth Mother" used instead of Godmother but it does sound a bit hippy-dippy for my taste!

I like the idea of my kids (if I ever have any!) having adult "mentors" drawn from my friends. You know, just someone they can look up to and get advice from outside of their parents. I think that's important.

eviltwin wrote: »

We use the term guide parent or in the case of myself I'm "auntie" even though I'm not related to the child in question.

I totaly agree also i think its nice for someone among your close friends and family to have that special additional connection to your child , definitly like the life guide thing , Earth Mother is a bit to woodstock for me :P

we always called our godfather , Uncle even though they weren't actually lood , just friends of my dads so i can definitely get on board with that one. it seems to matter more outside Dublin anyway from my experience like

Mrs OBumble

baby and crumble wrote: »

I think it used to be assumed that if something happened the parents, one of the Godparents would take responsibility for the children to ensure they didn't go into care and such. I might be wrong though.

Ya - that approach clearly worked well in Ireland's history!


Anyways, today godparents have no legal role, it's only a church/social one. Wise parents update their will when a child is born, and also talk to their solicitor about how to set up guardianship or whatever it's called here.

And you can have pretty much whatever ceremony you make up for these folks, provided you do the legal paperwork in the right way. Most people I know prefered to keep the legal paperwork and the public ceremony separate.

Walter H Price

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Ya - that approach clearly worked well in Ireland's history!


Anyways, today godparents have no legal role, it's only a church/social one. Wise parents update their will when a child is born, and also talk to their solicitor about how to set up guardianship or whatever it's called here.

And you can have pretty much whatever ceremony you make up for these folks, provided you do the legal paperwork in the right way. Most people I know prefered to keep the legal paperwork and the public ceremony separate.

Imagine that's what will do alright.

ChewChew

Walter H Price wrote: »

I would love a Traditional Celtic wedding but my Faience isn't overly keen unfortunately , the humanist ceremony with the few celtic bits tied in (Music, Poetry , Hand Fastening) was kind of a happy compromise for us



Thank's Chew Chew , hope you guys have a great day in March , would love to know a bit more about the naming ceremony because we are planning on having kids as soon after our wedding as we can and do not intend on getting them baptize , i no my OH sister is very put out about this i think mostly because she expect's to be Godmother is there an equivalent with the Naming Ceremony ?

Our naming ceremony was beautiful. We had a few chins wagging and the mere thought of not baptising our baby, let alone follow through with it but after the ceremony a lot of opinions changed! It really was lovely and simplistic. Our celebrate said a few nice words, I had two nieces and my best friend ready tiny poems that's if written so there was zero religion in it. We planted a tree for her on the day and it is supposed to be a long life shrub called Christmas box so she will grow up with that being her tree and as for god parents, well yes we did have them, but they are known as her 'Odd Parents' instead