Marijuana use

LegacyUser

Hi All,

New to this but wanted to get some advice from those who may have had similar experiences. I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly 7 months now and have only just realized the extent of his smoking (specifically marijuana). Initially he was quite coy in his usage, and I was under the impression it was a weekend thing with maybe the odd mid week joint. Now I realize it is a daily habit, smoking every evening. He manages to hold down his job, be successful even, and doesn't get completely stoned most nights from what I can tell. But I am a bit of a novice when it comes to this - is it really as harmless as it's made out to be? Are there any long term effects?

I should mention we are not young (mid 30's/early 40's) and he has a small son from his previous relationship, who spends a few nights a week with him.

bee06

Personally, I would run. Any addiction is something I wouldn't want to be dealing with.

Add in the fact that he smokes when his son is staying with him, I would be running very fast. That's beyond irresponsible for many reasons.

LegacyUser

bee06 wrote: »

Personally, I would run. Any addiction is something I wouldn't want to be dealing with.

Add in the fact that he smokes when his son is staying with him, I would be running very fast. That's beyond irresponsible for many reasons.

Thanks for your opinion. Yea I'm not sure I want to be in a relationship with someone who has an addiction. And I think the fact he uses everyday would imply this? Also just to note, people have a drink around their kids all the time, and nothing is said. He doesn't smoke in front of his boy but would smoke once he's put to bed. I think I would nearly put marijuana ahead of the drinking culture. I'm just not sure I would date someone who has a drink every day either.

bee06

I wouldn't date someone who drinks every day either. Fait point about people drinking when their children are in the house but at the end of the day alcohol isn't illegal. Also, does the mother of the child know he's smoking marijuana when the child is with him? Is he potentially putting access to his child at risk by his behaviour?

LegacyUser

bee06 wrote: »

I wouldn't date someone who drinks every day either. Fait point about people drinking when their children are in the house but at the end of the day alcohol isn't illegal. Also, does the mother of the child know he's smoking marijuana when the child is with him? Is he potentially putting access to his child at risk by his behaviour?

I'm not certain if she knows but he smoked during his last relationship (6 years) so I'm sure she knows his habits all too well. I don't want this thread to turn into whether it should be legalized but I would be of the school of thought that just because it's illegal does not make it inherently morally wrong (just look at pregnant women and their rights in Ireland as a case in point). But I thank you for your advice.

Does anyone have personal experience of being in a relationship with someone with similar habits?

Dr Crayfish

It's harmless in my opinion. Some of the nicest guys I know are great family men and smoke regularly. Just because your government tells you it's illegal doesn't mean it's bad. They also don't allow abortion and women weren't able to vote in the past.
Anyway leave him if it's affecting you or you don't like the way he is when he's high but if you're worrying about the morality of it all maybe join a convent?

LegacyUser

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

It's harmless in my opinion. Some of the nicest guys I know are great family men and smoke regularly. Just because your government tells you it's illegal doesn't mean it's bad. They also don't allow abortion and women weren't able to vote in the past.
Anyway leave him if it's affecting you or you don't like the way he is when he's high but if you're worrying about the morality of it all maybe join a convent?

Thanks Dr. Perhaps I phrased my last post wrong. I certainly don't want this to be a discussion on morals. Rather the practicals of living with someone who smokes everyday. As this would be my reality if this relationship progresses. I certainly don't mind the odd smoke and would never ask him to change his habits. That would be foolish. But I want to know what I may be getting into I guess.

ellie1

Yes, I have experience. At first they seem so chilled , relaxed and good fun before I realized he was most likely stoned all the time. Then he would be smoking before work and he was a mental health nurse. Then at a wedding he was rolling a joint at 4.00am in the bedroom asking if I had a problem, I went to sleep. Then when supplies were short he was like a different person moody and draining. He constantly would defend his position even though I wasn't even saying anything other than if you are smoking tonight lets hang out another night. He told all his friends I had major issues with drug taking as a whole. Once when discussing the idea of moving into together at some time in the future, his biggest concern was where he was going to smoke weed.

I am not against weed. I would even smoke a bit at a festival maybe or a party. But I would be high after a few puffs. I hang around with people who take drugs regularly and I feel it's like they judge you because you choose not to rather than the other way around.

It obviously didn't work out. All his mates who smoked regularly were all working, good jobs etc but to be honest there was a big disconnection with growing up.I felt like I didn't really know him at all. This man was late 30s. I totally support the use of weed for medicinal purposes and think it's an area that needs exploration. I would also support the decriminalization of drugs to some extent in order to address our drug and crime culture. However, I would see myself as great craic, love a few pints, no issue with others taking drugs but would never ever be in a relationship with someone who takes drugs (including alcohol) on a regular basis.

Take some time to think about what you want.

diograis

Just for the record, taking any drug every night is an addiction. Weed is harmless yes, but not if you smoke it every single day. It's a major psychoactive substance, and just because it's relatively harmless compared to tobacco or cigarettes doesn't mean his usage isn't worrying.

If I were you op I'd need to have a serious chat with him, how he sees his weed habit etc. Maybe he'd be willing to cut down? Talk to someone? I wouldn't want to be with someone who smoked 7 nights a week, and I don't think you would either. Good luck with it

LegacyUser

diograis wrote: »

Just for the record, taking any drug every night is an addiction. Weed is harmless yes, but not if you smoke it every single day. It's a major psychoactive substance, and just because it's relatively harmless compared to tobacco or cigarettes doesn't mean his usage isn't worrying.

If I were you op I'd need to have a serious chat with him, how he sees his weed habit etc. Maybe he'd be willing to cut down? Talk to someone? I wouldn't want to be with someone who smoked 7 nights a week, and I don't think you would either. Good luck with it

Thank you. We have discussed it briefly and he admitted he was addicted and smoked more than he liked. But he didn't cut back.
I would not ask him to do so as I don't think it makes for a healthy relationship to forbid something he wants to do. Ideally He has to decide himself to cut down.

I guess I had my head in the clouds a bit..he smoked tobacco in his joints which actually bothered me more so initially. But it came up recently in conversation with one of my few friends who would smoke regularly, albeit not every night or week even, and they advised me to walk away from someone who smokes everyday, based on their own experiences with friends with similar habits.

LegacyUser

ellie1 wrote: »

Yes, I have experience. At first they seem so chilled , relaxed and good fun before I realized he was most likely stoned all the time. Then he would be smoking before work and he was a mental health nurse. Then at a wedding he was rolling a joint at 4.00am in the bedroom asking if I had a problem, I went to sleep. Then when supplies were short he was like a different person moody and draining. He constantly would defend his position even though I wasn't even saying anything other than if you are smoking tonight lets hang out another night. He told all his friends I had major issues with drug taking as a whole. Once when discussing the idea of moving into together at some time in the future, his biggest concern was where he was going to smoke weed.

I am not against weed. I would even smoke a bit at a festival maybe or a party. But I would be high after a few puffs. I hang around with people who take drugs regularly and I feel it's like they judge you because you choose not to rather than the other way around.

It obviously didn't work out. All his mates who smoked regularly were all working, good jobs etc but to be honest there was a big disconnection with growing up.I felt like I didn't really know him at all. This man was late 30s. I totally support the use of weed for medicinal purposes and think it's an area that needs exploration. I would also support the decriminalization of drugs to some extent in order to address our drug and crime culture. However, I would see myself as great craic, love a few pints, no issue with others taking drugs but would never ever be in a relationship with someone who takes drugs (including alcohol) on a regular basis.

Take some time to think about what you want.

Thank you so much for this. I wanted to hear of people's first hand experiences. This has given me a lot to mull over.

Merkin

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

It's harmless in my opinion. Some of the nicest guys I know are great family men and smoke regularly. Just because your government tells you it's illegal doesn't mean it's bad. They also don't allow abortion and women weren't able to vote in the past.
Anyway leave him if it's affecting you or you don't like the way he is when he's high but if you're worrying about the morality of it all maybe join a convent?

Abusing the OP isn't at all constructive and not in line with the very basic standards of civility we have for posting in this forum. I suggest you go and read the charter.

Tiguan Joe

If its just 1 joint every evening i wouldnt be to worried
or even 1 or 2 drinks every evening (although alcohol is a lot more dangerous)

I would be more worried about someone who goes out and gets absolutely hammered drunk every weekend.

LegacyUser

Tiguan Joe wrote: »

If its just 1 joint every evening i wouldnt be to worried
or even 1 or 2 drinks every evening (although alcohol is a lot more dangerous)

I would be more worried about someone who goes out and gets absolutely hammered drunk every weekend.

Thanks Joe. I don't think I'd like to date someone who drank every day either. But you're rights in saying the binge drinking culture is more damaging and yet more accepted here (in the past, myself included). I've had very mixed reports on whether smoking every day is detrimental in the long run, physically, mentally and emotionally, hence why I've come here asking for opinions. Obviously any addiction is bad news.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, Just some experience from my past relationship whereby I was the non-smoker.

Down the line, if you move in together/start building a life together, how much is he spending on weed per week? Ask him outright. I found out how much my ex was spending on it and I was appalled. Over the period of a year we could have easily gone on two holidays for the amount of he was smoking. It could be one joint a night but it could be more some nights, he needs to be honest regarding his usage.

Again down the line, if you ever decided to have a family, would you still be ok with him smoking on a day-to-basis?

Another aspect that I wasnt aware of, if your partner smokes week, there is a tendency to share/buy/sell between friends. My ex was also starting to deal to his friends, I found out code words in text messages from his friends about buying weed, then he was hauled in for police questioning. All this behaviour was hidden from me until the truth came out, I was devastated.

You say he holds down a successful job, which is great but when life gets tough, the attitude can be just to 'light up'. Having gone through a very tough patch, his attitude was just to keep on smoking. As a result, I will never go out with a stoner ever again. People think weed isn't as harmful as alcohol addition but in truth it can be just as bad.

Take time to think about what you are and aren't comfortable with.

SarahMollie

Hi OP,

Firstly, I've no experience with this but wouldn't be comfortable in your shoes.

Taking any substance every night of the week amounts to a dependency at the very least. Do you want that for your future together?

As for those saying its harmless, thats also misleading. Sure, one joint isnt going to do you any harm, but long term use can lead to significant mental health issues. Before people pipe up, I'm aware that alcohol also can damage your health with long term, persistent use, but two wrongs don't make a right.

I don't have any moral objection, its a fun substance at a party of whatever, but I just personally wouldn't want to be with someone with a dependency. The fact that he hid the extent of his usage from you in the early days, shows that he knows its nothing to be proud of.

LegacyUser

shouldirun? wrote: »

Does anyone have personal experience of being in a relationship with someone with similar habits?

hi there, i was in your situation 2 years ago. i went out with a guy for 9 months and he smoked it every single day like they were cigarettes and he held down a 9-5 job. he used to tell me it was harmless and just relaxes him. i used to hate when we would go away for a weekend or out for the evening, he would spark up a joint outside a hotel or pub no bother to him.
as the months went on he got more parnanoid and controlling with me, I wasnt allowed to wear certain clothes, wasnt allowed wear makeup, curl my hair, wasnt allowed to speak to certain people and even tried to turn me against my family and friends. he wanted me with him constantly, i was staying over in his house nearly 5 nights a week. he just turned into a horrible monster, it got to the stage i lost my identity and self esteem, my confidence hit rock bottom. I wasnt allowed on any social media sites and if i wasnt with him he'd constantly text or phone me wanting to know where I was.
I finally managed to get away from him and i havent looked back.

I'm not saying that your BF will turn out like that, but that's just my personal experience of being with someone that smokes this drug on a daily basis. If i met another guy and he told me he smokes this, i would wave bye bye.

LegacyUser

kateyallen1979 wrote: »

hi there, i was in your situation 2 years ago. i went out with a guy for 9 months and he smoked it every single day like they were cigarettes and he held down a 9-5 job. he used to tell me it was harmless and just relaxes him. i used to hate when we would go away for a weekend or out for the evening, he would spark up a joint outside a hotel or pub no bother to him.
as the months went on he got more parnanoid and controlling with me, I wasnt allowed to wear certain clothes, wasnt allowed wear makeup, curl my hair, wasnt allowed to speak to certain people and even tried to turn me against my family and friends. he wanted me with him constantly, i was staying over in his house nearly 5 nights a week. he just turned into a horrible monster, it got to the stage i lost my identity and self esteem, my confidence hit rock bottom. I wasnt allowed on any social media sites and if i wasnt with him he'd constantly text or phone me wanting to know where I was.
I finally managed to get away from him and i havent looked back.

I'm not saying that your BF will turn out like that, but that's just my personal experience of being with someone that smokes this drug on a daily basis. If i met another guy and he told me he smokes this, i would wave bye bye.

Thanks for this. I do recognise some similarities.eg lighting up when on weekend hotel beaks or in public but I don't think he smokes more than the one usually. Maybe a bit more at weekend. I'm extremely independent so if he tried to control me I'd tell him where to go.
He confided that he did grow/sell in the past to his friends (v small amounts) - i think this is perhaps a common enough practice? Again I'd be more pro legalisation but could not afford professionally to be associated with anything of the sort while it's illegal. When you broke up did he offer to cut down to save the relationship?

LegacyUser

anon_poster wrote: »

Hi OP, Just some experience from my past relationship whereby I was the non-smoker.

Down the line, if you move in together/start building a life together, how much is he spending on weed per week? Ask him outright. I found out how much my ex was spending on it and I was appalled. Over the period of a year we could have easily gone on two holidays for the amount of he was smoking. It could be one joint a night but it could be more some nights, he needs to be honest regarding his usage.

Again down the line, if you ever decided to have a family, would you still be ok with him smoking on a day-to-basis?

Another aspect that I wasnt aware of, if your partner smokes week, there is a tendency to share/buy/sell between friends. My ex was also starting to deal to his friends, I found out code words in text messages from his friends about buying weed, then he was hauled in for police questioning. All this behaviour was hidden from me until the truth came out, I was devastated.

You say he holds down a successful job, which is great but when life gets tough, the attitude can be just to 'light up'. Having gone through a very tough patch, his attitude was just to keep on smoking. As a result, I will never go out with a stoner ever again. People think weed isn't as harmful as alcohol addition but in truth it can be just as bad.

Take time to think about what you are and aren't comfortable with.

Thanks for sharing.
The financial aspect has concerned me (this is my first time dating a man with a child so a lot has been considered). I asked him a few months ago and if it's what he says it is, per month he would spend less than a good night out in town. He would not be a big drinker so actually saw this as positive.

As I stated in previous post, he did confide that he did grew/sold in the past to his friends (v small amounts) and hoping this is behind him now.

Did your ex offer to cut down at any stage?

LegacyUser

shouldirun? wrote: »

Thanks for sharing.
The financial aspect has concerned me (this is my first time dating a man with a child so a lot has been considered). I asked him a few months ago and if it's what he says it is, per month he would spend less than a good night out in town. He would not be a big drinker so actually saw this as positive.

As I stated in previous post, he did confide that he did grew/sold in the past to his friends (v small amounts) and hoping this is behind him now.

Did your ex offer to cut down at any stage?

He did offer to cut back but never to give up. He hung around the friends who did smoke so invariably the smoking never stopped (nor the dealing). Initially the smoking was cut back to weekends but then crept back into daily use. People say its harmless and defend it but there are serious repercussions in life that users just don't see. It affected his personality, lifestyle, relationships, work, the cover up/lies of how much was smoked or sold, how the world revolved around getting it. Every time I smell it now it makes me nauseous, will never ever go out with a stoner again.

Your bf's smoking more than likely will continue and it will be you that will feel the repercussions of it. Its whether you choose to accept it. Good luck.

LegacyUser

Hi there op. I have a lot of insight into this.

I am married to a man who smokes weed every day (varies from 2-6 joints a day) and has done since I met him 16 years ago. We have three children together, a house, cats and all that comes with domestication!

He holds down a good job, doesn't shy away from hard work, is a great father, a loving husband and a good son.

He has few friends but he likes it that way.

He trains twice a week and is great around the house (cooking, cleaning etc).

HOWEVER......

It can be difficult. When we go on holidays, he tracks it down. Don't ask me how but he always ends up getting 'a bit'. It has gone ok so far but I worry a lot that he will get caught and where the hell would that leave us all???

He can be a bit emotionally numb at times...he doesn't like confrontation and when we hit a bad patch in our marriage, he couldn't really handle it. Now, whether that's just him or whether the weed had something to do with it, I cannot say.

He spends between 30-50 euro a week on weed which we can afford some weeks and others we can't. On the weeks that we can't afford it, he doesn't buy it but will scab bits here and there from friends until he can repay them.

I will agree with other posters....there is a culture out there of sharing among friends but I think that's better than dealing with 'heavies' or dealers you don't know (thats why the holiday thing scares the sh*t out of me).

I love my husband very much and people will probably judge me for having children with a weed smoker etc etc but I don't really care what people think. I know he's a good man. I see him with his kids and he's great. They love him.

It's really up to you OP. I am not going to lie and say it never bothers me that he smokes weed because of course it does but I'm not going to leave him because of it. The positives in our relationship and his relationship with his kids outweigh his addiction to weed.

Just my few cents worth.

LegacyUser

anon_poster wrote: »

He did offer to cut back but never to give up. He hung around the friends who did smoke so invariably the smoking never stopped (nor the dealing). Initially the smoking was cut back to weekends but then crept back into daily use. People say its harmless and defend it but there are serious repercussions in life that users just don't see. It affected his personality, lifestyle, relationships, work, the cover up/lies of how much was smoked or sold, how the world revolved around getting it. Every time I smell it now it makes me nauseous, will never ever go out with a stoner again.

Your bf's smoking more than likely will continue and it will be you that will feel the repercussions of it. Its whether you choose to accept it. Good luck.

Thank you for all your feedback. I wouldn't expect him to totally quit and I would be fine with that. When I told him I'd have to reconsider our relationship/future, he mentioned he could cut down. This wasn't his first response however. It's very hard to know what to do.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I just wanted to offer the another POV. I'm the smoker. I don't smoke cigarettes, but I do smoke weed. I have done for decades. I usually buy a bag, and smoke one joint a day until it runs out. It could be months before I buy another bag, but when I do have it, I rarely skip an evening. I don't really drink, if we have a few friends over, i'd smoke a few joints and nurse a bottle of cider for the night.

I'm a mum. I have two kids, hubby and a bunch of pets. I smoke after the kids have gone to bed, no exceptions. I know how much my 'habit' costs, and I see it much in the same way as some might see a trip to the cinema, or getting their hair done - it's a nice treat if i can afford it. I would never spend money we didn't have on it. My husband doesn't give a hoot - he used to smoke weed, but stopped when he stopped smoking cigarettes (delighted for him!) It doesn't impact our life whatsoever. We probably have more sex when I have weed as I sleep better, so am less tired, and more in the mood Not exactly a negative! I'm not paranoid, I don't worry if I run out - I wouldn't consider myself an addict, though freely admit i'm a user.

If it is something that bothers you now, it won't bother you any less in the long-term. If you have a problem with it, I would be up front with it now, before you are even more committed to each other. But you know what your bf is like on this drug. It's not new. If it's causing problems, then sort those out now. If it's not, i wouldn't expect it to cause major issues in the future.

LegacyUser

I have to agree with the above poster, I'm a long term smoker 20+ years, I spend about €50 per month on it, 1 doobie a night, it's a great relaxer. I'm not addicted as I can and have gone months without smoking with zero effects. Honestly I see no difference in the stoned Aye Bosun to the not stoned Aye Bosun and my family and friends would agree with this statement, they are all full aware of my activities.

I'm in full time employment (in fact have never been unemployed in my life), have my own house, car, holiday twice a year, volunteer with 2 different charities donating about 20 hrs of my free time per week to them. I contribute to society and I am an upstanding member of my community.

My partner has never had an issue with me smoking, he himself is a non smoker. But if it is something you can't get over you need to speak to your partner sooner rather than later because you in effect are just leading him on, letting him believe you are sort of cool with it but in fact not at all and hope to change him to a non smoker to suit your ideals of a relationship.

There are plenty of smokers in our society who are very successful in their careers and family life..doctors, nurses, guards etc the reason they don't speak more freely is because of the repercussions in Law. I for one am all for the legalisation of cannabis for both recreational and more importantly medical use.

Wompa1

I was the non-smoker guy with a smoker girl. I even tried it for my first time with her because she was showing no effort to stop or slow down (she went through a 3 month stretch of not going to college, just sitting at home smoking) so I thought if I got high too, it might be something we could do together and if not, I'd at least have a better understanding. It didn't help. I got high 4 or 5 times and the last time I smoked the next day was worse than any hangover I ever had. I didn't have a headache, I just felt lethargic and pretty depressed. I spent an hour sitting down looking out at the ocean...not really thinking about anything.

With my gf at the time, she was fine sometimes when smoking but other times she was a completely different person. She'd veg out on the couch watching old Friends re-runs with no expression on her face. It was like going out with a zombie. She also hung out with some questionable characters, I believe this was because they were her hook up.

I also went out with a girl who drank 3-4 cans of cider a night. Both were equally destructive in my opinion. I learned from those relationships what I could tolerate in a partner and that frequency of use of any substance is a major no go for me.

I have a friend who smoked every day. His gf gave him an ultimatum to cut it down. He has but every now and again he'll slip. He doesn't really seem to wear it when he's high...his demeanor is no different. However, when he got off it for a few months his life changed for the better. He got a new job, wen back to college to do a part time course.

My brother and dad both smoke...they are hardly a flame of ambition. My brother smokes while and before driving. My dad offers pot to everybody I bring to the house...I've pretty much stopped going home. I asked him not to do it any more, brought my brother in-law home....when we left the house my brother in law showed me a rolled joint he had given to him and said he wasn't going to smoke it because it creeped him out. Apparently my dad handed it to him and said "Don't tell my son"...

Maybe because it has always been prevalent in my life I have a very negative view but that's my opinion anyways. I have friends that smoke and I don't look at them any differently. A lot has to do with the person and their situation but if the situation was being my partner, I would say no thanks!

danslevent

Hi OP,

I think it really depends on the level of addiction, as in can he go without it? I know the only problem my friend had with her stoner boyfriend was the fact that he was super grumpy when he couldn't get it, found it hard to sleep and would lack an appetite. She found that really hard to be around, also the fact that life seemed to revolve around getting weed.

Personally, even though I would consider myself a bit of a stoner (smoke about once a week or so, but can easily go without it) I really wouldn't want to date someone addicted to something to such an extent that they need it every day. I love smoking weed but if I found myself needing to smoke/or ingest any drug everyday, then I think it is time to take a step back. That level of addiction is never positive.

LegacyUser

marriedtoweedsmoker wrote: »

Hi there op. I have a lot of insight into this.

I am married to a man who smokes weed every day (varies from 2-6 joints a day) and has done since I met him 16 years ago. We have three children together, a house, cats and all that comes with domestication!

He holds down a good job, doesn't shy away from hard work, is a great father, a loving husband and a good son.

He has few friends but he likes it that way.

He trains twice a week and is great around the house (cooking, cleaning etc).

HOWEVER......

It can be difficult. When we go on holidays, he tracks it down. Don't ask me how but he always ends up getting 'a bit'. It has gone ok so far but I worry a lot that he will get caught and where the hell would that leave us all???

He can be a bit emotionally numb at times...he doesn't like confrontation and when we hit a bad patch in our marriage, he couldn't really handle it. Now, whether that's just him or whether the weed had something to do with it, I cannot say.

He spends between 30-50 euro a week on weed which we can afford some weeks and others we can't. On the weeks that we can't afford it, he doesn't buy it but will scab bits here and there from friends until he can repay them.

I will agree with other posters....there is a culture out there of sharing among friends but I think that's better than dealing with 'heavies' or dealers you don't know (thats why the holiday thing scares the sh*t out of me).

I love my husband very much and people will probably judge me for having children with a weed smoker etc etc but I don't really care what people think. I know he's a good man. I see him with his kids and he's great. They love him.

It's really up to you OP. I am not going to lie and say it never bothers me that he smokes weed because of course it does but I'm not going to leave him because of it. The positives in our relationship and his relationship with his kids outweigh his addiction to weed.

Just my few cents worth.

Thanks. He said he has cut down and is going to try having just one joint weekend nights. Of course I'm taking this with a pinch of salt. admittedly he seems a bit more downcast or on edge when he hasn't smoked. Also emotionally more distant. As soon as he's had a smoke he becomes much more affectionate. This is only something I realised the last few days. It seems weed has played a bigger part in our relationship than I realised.

blueb

christ.. weed makes him more affectionate!!! my god it must be total poison : p

people see weed differently and i dont get it!

Lets go out and get so pissed drunk we can hardly stand are are sick all the next day.. but thats grand caus its legal
Lets have a smoke and relax .. be fine in an hour or so and not get a hangover.... no no no thats the devils work!

Ofcourse if someone is smoking all day then they have a problem. Just like if someone is drinking all day.
Most ppl dont give a ****e about someone having 1 can a night after work but having one small smoke is a major problem.
obviously it can be abused like anything else so it should be kept in check just like boozin.

Its not heroin people!!

LegacyUser

blueb wrote: »

christ.. weed makes him more affectionate!!! my god it must be total poison : p

people see weed differently and i dont get it!

Lets go out and get so pissed drunk we can hardly stand are are sick all the next day.. but thats grand caus its legal
Lets have a smoke and relax .. be fine in an hour or so and not get a hangover.... no no no thats the devils work!

Ofcourse if someone is smoking all day then they have a problem. Just like if someone is drinking all day.
Most ppl dont give a ****e about someone having 1 can a night after work but having one small smoke is a major problem.
obviously it can be abused like anything else so it should be kept in check just like boozin.

Its not heroin people!!

Its not heroin and yes your point about alcohol is completely valid but I think the OP is worried about the daily usage whereby it might be more than just one smoke a night.

Personally if a partner was drinking or smoking every night I would have an issue (personal experience on both counts) but it depends on your tolerance for this behaviour. If he drank alcohol every night the OP might have voiced the same concerns.

Having a relationship when someone who likes to get the buzz every night isn't ideal. I personally don't smoke weed but have had ex partners who have in the past. Once they lit up their troubles disappeared and this attitude became prevalent in every day life. Unfortunately one ex became increasingly paranoid as his weed usage increased. Weed can affect people in different ways in as much as alcohol does.

Btw I'm all for medicinal usage but in day-to-day relationship environment it can have a negative affect if both partners aren't smoking. The OP just needs to gather some information, be informed about the pros and cons and decide if this is for her.

Username212016

As you asked for personal experience: I don't smoke, but have two exes who did.

Ex 1 was a highly successful medical doctor, would have a smoke every night to relax, not a bother. As others said, no different than having a drink after work, and healthier and cheaper.

Ex 2 was a heavier users and tbh it freaked me out at first. Eventually he explained that he was an anxious person and this was no different than taking sleeping pills /ansiolitics. I won't go into the science behind it as it's not allowed here, but I can tell he was perfectly functional, extremely driven, intelligent and reliable, and graduated top of the class in engineering, securing a high profile job.

Both were long relationships, very affectionate and this was never an issue.

The only part that bothered me was the smell (would have been the same had it been a cigarette), so I'd ask to do in a different room sometimes.

As others said here, was cheaper than alcohol and not a bother to the relationships.