Worst thing you ever inhaled?

Alf Stewart.

Was just doin a bit of manual labour in the back yard, bit of a tidy, rolling up hoses, dunging out me sheds etc etc.

Anyway, noticed a bit of dog crap on the pebbles in me rockery, got me poo bags, scooped it up, tied a nice knot in it and dumped it in me bin, like a responsible dog owner would, not to mention a proud home owner.

Anyways, noticed I didn't quite get all of Rex's "gift" removed, there was still a few "japs" scattered among the smaller stones that would have been impossible to get with hands, so I decided to "melt" it with some boiling water, (as I've done countless times before.)

Boiled me kettle, headed back out to preform sludge clearance, started to pour the boiling water on the crap, and it started to melt away nicely, slowly watering down and disappearing into the cracks of the earth.

Then suddenly, and without warning a massive cloud of dog shíte steam arose from the ground and caught me mouth and nostrils full whack in the midst of a deep inhalation.

Jesus Christ. That's all I can say.

kneemos

Lynx.

Rosie Rant

I inhaled a Minstrel once.

DrumSteve

Gone off raw chicken.

Sir Osis of Liver.

A gang of us were knacker drinking in a partially demolished old building in the middle of town on a particullarly cold evening so we
decided to light a fire.

Just as the fire got going ,one of the lads disappeared for a few minutes.Nobody was really taking much notice when he returned with an old paint tin and placed it in the middle of the fire.
Within a few minutes there was a loud pop and the most vile,disgusting smell filled the air around our sheebeen.

It was one of those smells which almost made you pass out when it hit your nostrils.
Turns out there was some paint left in the tin and the dirty bastard had shat and pissed into it and resealed it before bringing the vile concoction to the boil in his improvised pressure cooker.

We ran for cover with our flaggons in hand as the paint/sh1te/piss mixture began to splatter everywhere.
The air in the town center filled with the disgusting aroma ,with everone we met asking "jesus lads,whats that smell?"
30 years later I still feel sick when I think about it.
Dirty Bastard.

Jayop

Lol great story

Probably the amount of sh1te some people spew in some threads on here.

Health: 20 lit cigarettes in an elastic band. Couldn't smoke one for days, which was the point.

Smell: I reckon just one of those stink bombs.

Retarded: Buckfast through my nose. I guess that counts as inhaling.

Drugs: Crushed pills.

Keane2baMused

It's a toss up between a dead rat in someone's floorboards and the bacterium Clostridium Difficile.

Neither are ones I intended to inhale but the smell just hits you.

Holy hell

SEPT 23 1989

Cat ****e in my raised beds which led me to invest in a powerful super soaker so I can blast the fcuks off the back wall

AnonoBoy

Decomposing rat.

zuutroy

Gearbox oil.

Jayop

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Decomposing rat.

Rank for sure.

whiskeyman

Burnt hair or burnt skin.


Bleaugh!

Zaph

Horse piss, while suffering from the mother of all hangovers. I thought I'd finished throwing up to that point.

Alf Stewart.

Rosie Rant wrote: »

I inhaled a Minstrel once.

Mammy

LETHAL LADY

When I worked as a cashier an auld cracked farmer used to come into my workplace every day.
You'd know he was in the vicinity by the stink of piss and unwashed body suddenly pervading the air, but on top of that he'd gotten wet gangrene in two of his fingers.
He also kept them wrapped in the filthiest pus stained piece of bandage I've ever seen .
He'd come to me to pay for his goods with his smelly fingers handing me the cash.
I used to try to hold my breath to avoid the stink but it was so bad there was no escaping it.

osarusan

From an earlier thread:

osarusan wrote: »

I had a pet cat a few years ago. Once I went fishing, and this involved buying and using minced shrimp as bait for bigger fish.

I finished my fishing, came home, forgot to put away/freeze the remaining minced shrimp, stocked the cat's food and water dishes, and went out drinking. Ended up staying with friends and not coming home for two days.

When I eventually got home I found that the cat had ripped open the bag, eaten some of the shrimp and dragged the rest of it round the apartment.

Seeing as how it's not really meant to be eaten (apart from by soon-to-be-dead fish) the cat had vomited it up on the floor.

The smell of decaying minced shrimp and cat vomit is easily the worst thing I've ever smelt. I've a pretty strong stomach, but that had me retching all over the place as I cleaned it up.

Pherekydes

Poison.

Speedwell

Chlorine gas from a broken pipe at a public swimming pool. Fortunately dilute enough at the actual pool that it just made us all sick, not dead.

crasy dash

Walking into a plant room.in work where somebody had silenced a gas alarm
during the night and told no one.

Never forget getting a whack of ammonia that dropped me to the floor luckily i came out of there on my knees.

Full oxygen masks and all were needed just to get into the room to find and fix the leak.

Sir Osis of Liver.

I got a friend to snort a line of salt,masquerading as cocaine one day we were out on the piss.

Poor bastard thought he was going to die.I thought wtf have I done and was nearly calling him an ambulance.

He recovered a few minutes later and we were able to laugh about it after I bought him a pint.

Your Face

When I was in school, there was one class where I always got the strong smell of decomposing vegetation.
I could never pinpoint its origin.
It was either from the round well-fed girl on front of me or the fella seated behind me - a flat-faced product of inbreeding with large satellite ears.

Anesthetize

Zaph wrote: »

Horse piss, while suffering from the mother of all hangovers. I thought I'd finished throwing up to that point.

Was it Heineken or Budweiser?

_Brian

We had a heifer die suspiciously on the farm a few years ago and got the vet to do an autopsy.
Everything was good till she split one of the stomachs, the smell was "very special"

Sir Osis of Liver.

More then once I've got in to my work van in the morning to find that a cats been sleeping/urinating under the bonnet.

Nothing like a few lungfuls of lightly sauteed tom cats piss to wake you up before you hit the road.

Stigura

The dead rat, rotting down nicely in the kitchen drawer that time was a bit tangy.

The pot of steamed sprout peelings, lost for a month in the kitchen cupboard? That got 'emotional'.

But, the all time contender to leave Alf's Dog Schit Steam standing was the time I got Mink Gland Lure in my mouth! That was a special kind of special.

Thankfully, it made me go blind. Else, I'd have got hold of my gun and shot myself.

poa

My sister mistook the baking soda for garlic powder when cooking our family spaghetti Bolognaise.
The rotten onion/beef fumes from the diarrhea the next day made me wretch as I fully evacuated my bowels many, many times that day. In all my 39 years, I have never smelt worse. Dead animals, pus, burnt skin, septic tanks, you name it; nothing and I mean nothing comes worse to the smell of that day.
Even the next day one could literally taste it in the air walking into the bathroom.

chillin117

A ginger pubic hair...

HandsomeDan

poa wrote: »

My sister mistook the baking soda for garlic powder when cooking our family spaghetti Bolognaise.
The rotten onion/beef fumes from the diarrhea the next day made me wretch as I fully evacuated my bowels many, many times that day. In all my 39 years, I have never smelt worse. Dead animals, pus, burnt skin, septic tanks, you name it; nothing and I mean nothing comes worse to the smell of that day.
Even the next day one could literally taste it in the air walking into the bathroom.

I cried laughing at that one.

smurgen

a friend put chilies in the mircowave without puncturing them and they popped.I went over,opened the door and mistakely took in a lung full of the vapour.it was so overwhelming that I threw up.

Thoie

Accidentally inhaled tequila straight into the lungs and back out the nose. Horrific. I can still feel the burning. It was worse than the warehouse full of anhydrous ammonia (though presumably less lethal).

Archeron

My dog recently had a blocked anal gland sorted by the vet while I was in the room. It's hard to believe a fuzzy family pet can smell like the depths of hell. I could still smell it days later as the stench molecules latched onto the inside of my nose.

scdublin

There's this traditional perfume that local women in Dubai wear and it's the most foul smelling thing ever. You sometimes get a random whiff of it as you walk by a shop or someone walks by you and I genuinely have to move as quick as possible to get away from it. It burns my nose!

Fleawuss

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

A gang of us were knacker drinking in a partially demolished old building in the middle of town on a particullarly cold evening so we
decided to light a fire.

Just as the fire got going ,one of the lads disappeared for a few minutes.Nobody was really taking much notice when he returned with an old paint tin and placed it in the middle of the fire.
Within a few minutes there was a loud pop and the most vile,disgusting smell filled the air around our sheebeen.

It was one of those smells which almost made you pass out when it hit your nostrils.
Turns out there was some paint left in the tin and the dirty bastard had shat and pissed into it and resealed it before bringing the vile concoction to the boil in his improvised pressure cooker.

We ran for cover with our flaggons in hand as the paint/sh1te/piss mixture began to splatter everywhere.
The air in the town center filled with the disgusting aroma ,with everone we met asking "jesus lads,whats that smell?"
30 years later I still feel sick when I think about it.
Dirty Bastard.

I've heard people called a boiled shyte but I never realised it was a real thing. That was some bollix!

Agricola

Had a job in a supermarket when I was a kid and used to be on floor cleaning duties a lot. Never forget getting a whiff of ammonia from one of the bottles in the mop cupboard. Having your lungs stop working isn't a nice feeling.

jester77

I had a Summer job in school working for a metal fabrication company. It was one of the really hot Summers, and the company got a job to do some work on the roof of a meat factory. This same meat factory had also been on strike for a few weeks.

So, we had to pass the picket line to get into the factory. The place had obviously not been cleaned in a few weeks. I will never forget that smell when we opened and walked in:eek: My eyes just watered up and a few of the guys even threw up.

pudzey101

The Missus Hair dye

12Phase

A wasp!
I was sneezing and I took a deep breath and next thing I has a wasp in my mouth.

Didn't sting my mouth thankfully but it stung me under the eye.

somesoldiers

pudzey101 wrote: »

The Missus Hair dye

the wife's fake tan

josip

Forgot to turn on the extractor in the school lab when mixing up ammonia.
It was still undiluted out of the big brown jars, I think about 17M.
I will never forget that.
My brain screamed "you are going to die!".
I don't remember an actual smell, I remember my body instantly starting to shut down.

OldNotWIse

Cleaning out the bin last weekend and one of the bags had torn and three week old canned dog food had been festering in the bottom in the heat wave we've had. I tipped the bin over to clear out the rubbish at the bottom and the pile of dog food that had turned to mulch in the sun and was now wriggling with maggots fell out onto the ground. The smell was like a cross between God's waiting room and the bowels of hell.

Hamadeusentman

I inhaled heroin in a town in northern Spain with a chap from Bray once. He kept on going in to the communal kitchen in the piso I lived in and taking tin foil. I didn't have a clue what he using it for until I asked him one day and he arrived back from his room with the tin foil, the heroin and a tea spoon. He offered it and I said feck it so inhaled using the plastic shell of a biro he had. We chatted for about a minute until I made an excuse and went next door into my bedroom where I lay on my bed and experienced the most incredible feeling on earth for about twenty minutes before falling asleep.

MRnotlob606

Stale Orange juice is absoluetely vile

chakotha

Possibly a Gitanes french cigarette. Like inhaling a boxing glove.

cowboyBuilder

I mentioned on another thread, some chicken that had been misplaced after shopping and ended up under the stairs under a load of plastic bags.

Over the next few weeks with the smell getting worse, we eventually called the an bord gais as it smelt like gas at one point - guy came out and did the scan and told me its probably a rat or mouse under the floorboards.

Before ripping up the boards we decided to have a look through the bags, when the bag was finally opened it just attacked my nostrils, it was a like a physical assault, everything in my body was telling me to retch and run ...

we had to bury it, it was that bad.

Aglomerado

Smell from a work colleague who wore the same shirt every consecutive day for 3 weeks. During the hot summer of 2013.

Hurl.

skywanderer

Was in the pubs only a few weeks ago and some old lad who was drinking all day left rip a Guinness fart, twas vile, stunk out the whole place.

team_actimel

A girl I went to secondary school with reeked. I've never smelled anything like it since. It was a funky smell like a mixture between the worst smelling cheese and bins. Every time she walked near my desk I had to hold my breath. She was a rather large girl so I dunno if the stench was embedded in her rolls, there was no escape!

tampopo

Someone else's fart.

pure.conya

I worked in Pernis, Rotterdam for a time a few years ago and the highest levels of carbon monoxide on the planet was in the 1.5km area I was working in! surprisingly though, this was the least of my worries as I was literally surrounded by toxic clouds of highly carcinogenic gases, poisonous effluent leaking everywhere and steam pi$$ing out of pipes left right and centre!

give me steaming dog poo anyday of the week over that contract!!