Boys/men having a double barrell name

PLL · 15-05-2016 2:55pm #1

My daughter has a double barrell surame but I don't want to give it to my son. Is that strange/Sexist?

I would probably legally give him the two names just so he isn't different from his sister. However I wouldn't use it like I do with my daughter. I would just use his father's surname. I don't know how to explain why but I'm asking for opinions from people on this.

Also if you are a male with a double barrell surname how do you feel about it? Did you drop a name if you were registered in school with both?

I wear socks · 15-05-2016 2:59pm

you sound like a tosser

NiallBoo · 15-05-2016 2:59pm

PLL wrote: »

Is that Sexist?

yes.

ToddyDoody · 15-05-2016 2:59pm

Some amusement on the topic...

https://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/incredible-wedding-announcments-from-couples-with-unfortu?utm_term=.umpGnqAbK#.tc14aw5BD

Alf Stewart. · 15-05-2016 3:02pm

The bloke that lives over the street from me has a double barrell name, Browning.

DontThankMe · 15-05-2016 3:04pm

Yes but to compensate you not giving him the double barrell surname change his first name to a girls name it's only fair.

rednik · 15-05-2016 3:06pm

Alf Stewart. wrote: »

The bloke that lives over the street from me has a double barrell name, Browning.

Over & under or side by side ???

GLaDOS · 15-05-2016 3:07pm

It is a bit odd tbh.

LeinsterDub · 15-05-2016 3:13pm

Double barrelled names are stupid, when you're daughter has kids and her partner has a double barrel name do the kids have quad barreled names?

PandaX9 · 15-05-2016 3:16pm

OP, what is your reasoning behind this decision? Seems very bizarre to me. It's as though you couldn't bear to have your daughter only carry her fathers surname and thus have your maiden name in there as well, but your son is a male so he should only have his fathers name? I think if you want to share a double barrelled name for the family then it's only fair that everyone takes it.

I would hate to be in either your sons or daughters position and have a separate surname to my family. Simply because I would feel weirdly singled out for reasons that are unclear.

MRnotlob606 · 15-05-2016 3:20pm

What's the point of double-barrell names ? Just people wanting to stick out from the crowd. Reminds of those people on Facebook who elongate their names in Irish and throw in their middle names too to look sophisticated and savy.

PLL · 15-05-2016 3:30pm

PandaX9 wrote: »

OP, what is your reasoning behind this decision? Seems very bizarre to me. It's as though you couldn't bear to have your daughter carry her fathers surname and thus have your maiden name in there as well, but your son is a male so he should only have his fathers name? I think if you want to inflict to share a double barrelled name for the family - it's only fair that everyone takes it.

I would hate to be in either your sons or daughters position and have a separate surname to my family. Simply because I would feel weirdly singled out for reasons that are unclear.

We were young when we had our first child. At the time it felt right we had only known each other a year and didn't know what the future held so I wanted my name too. We are now engaged and I will also have a double barrell surname when we get married. Not because I want to be a 'tosser' with a pretentious surname but because I don't want to lose my name - that's probably why I wanted my daughter to have it to.

When talking about a boy being born people always refer to just the one name.. Like he will be the man to carry on his father's family name. Hence my thinking of legally giving him two so he isn't actually different but only using one. There also is the bullying aspect behind it. I don't think girls give a shít about their friends surname. Lads would take the píss. Hence the dilemma.

NiallBoo · 15-05-2016 3:38pm

PLL wrote: »

We were young when we had our first child. At the time it felt right we had only known each other a year and didn't know what the future held so I wanted my name too.

Lads would take the píss. Hence the dilemma.

Seeing as you've already gone one way you're better sticking with it.
Changing it would be the same as telling your daughter that you made a mistake with her name* (or even implying to your son that he doesn't deserve both? ).

I wouldn't worry to much about bullying. Children will always take the piss out of something, better it be about something pretty innocuous. Double-barrel names aren't that weird these days anyway so I doubt you have much to worry about.

(* of course you're not gong to get everything "right", if there is such a thing, but it's a bit much to expect your kids to understand that)

astrofool · 15-05-2016 3:54pm

PLL wrote: »

We were young when we had our first child. At the time it felt right we had only known each other a year and didn't know what the future held so I wanted my name too. We are now engaged and I will also have a double barrell surname when we get married. Not because I want to be a 'tosser' with a pretentious surname but because I don't want to lose my name - that's probably why I wanted my daughter to have it to.

When talking about a boy being born people always refer to just the one name.. Like he will be the man to carry on his father's family name. Hence my thinking of legally giving him two so he isn't actually different but only using one. There also is the bullying aspect behind it. I don't think girls give a shít about their friends surname. Lads would take the píss. Hence the dilemma.

Hah, it's like a Tattoo you gave to your kids, good on ya.

rubadub · 15-05-2016 3:59pm

PLL wrote: »

Hence my thinking of legally giving him two so he isn't actually different but only using one. There also is the bullying aspect behind it. I don't think girls give a shít about their friends surname. Lads would take the píss.

The legal name will probably turn up at school. I remember roll calls and lads would get abuse when a teacher inadvertently revealed their real name.

I have to spell my name whenever I tell it to people who have to write it. I would hate to have had my own potential double barrel name as both would have had to be spelt out each time. I know some with long double barrel names which require spelling of both, its like rattling off the alphabet. Some might not want to drop 1 of them out of fear of offending.

OP, if you had a double barrel name already would you have given them 3 surnames?

Day Lewin · 15-05-2016 4:05pm

In the Spanish system, if the father was called Murphy and mother was named Gough, the kids would then have to be called Muff.

PandaX9 · 15-05-2016 4:37pm

PLL wrote: »

When talking about a boy being born people always refer to just the one name.. Like he will be the man to carry on his father's family name. Hence my thinking of legally giving him two so he isn't actually different but only using one. There also is the bullying aspect behind it. I don't think girls give a shít about their friends surname. Lads would take the píss. Hence the dilemma.

Not that I have much experience with boys being bullied, but I would imagine that singling out the fact that the boy has a different surname to his sister would cause potential for even more hurt? "Oi Murphy- where did Byrne run off to!" And queue jokes about one "missing" surname due to that parent no longer loving the child. Then again this may be just my overactive imagination.

I understand why you decided to go with the double barrelled surnames to behind with, but I still think it would be unfair to unnecessary alienate your son from the family in something like that. Particularly if you yourself are planning to adopt that surname. Could you imagine the unnecessary confusion it would cause (albeit momentarily) people and/or your son about the situation?

"So let me get this straight.. The da's a Murphy-Byrne, the mam's a Murphy-Byrne, the sister is a Murphy-Byrne.. But he's only a Murphy."

On an aside, not in regards to your family situation but I've always found it a little funny when parents choose to give daughters double barrelled surnames so that she doesn't "lose" the maiden name.. And then said daughter gets married and chooses to take her husbands surname anyway :pac:

PandaX9 · 15-05-2016 4:40pm

funkey_monkey wrote: »

The Spanish way of naming children is the best I've heard and the name stays with you for life. No need to change for marriage. Kids take first part of surname from each parent.

I would have been seriously screwed over by this system. Golobab or Babugol. Sounds like a ghoul from a children's book.

Dirty Dingus McGee · 15-05-2016 4:40pm

Doubled barreled surnames are the height of idiocy and pretentiousness.

I can accept the poncy upper class English surnames (as that's what you'd expect from them) but not a combination of 2 bog standard Irish surnames.I feel sorry for the poor children that have them thrust upon them by their parents.

handlemaster · 15-05-2016 4:47pm

Why dont you give him two first names... like John joe or Paddy John

Andre 3000 · 15-05-2016 4:47pm

It's the parents that decide to give their kids the double double that are the real ****. A kid down the road is called Kayden-Lee O'Donovan O'Sullivan. Poor sod is f*cked.

wilhelm roentgen · 15-05-2016 4:53pm

Tara Palmer Double Barrel Shotgun Kensington On The Horse

tupenny · 15-05-2016 4:55pm

Personally think you're over thinking it OP. Don't think kids give a crap about other kids surnames, unless they were what kids would consider funny surnames (Eg. Hoare etc) which isn't going to matter whether theyre double barrel or not!! And to presume its more likely boys would get a slagging? What makes you think that??
Bizarre imo!!

KERSPLAT! · 15-05-2016 5:04pm

I don't get the hate for double barrel names. I wanted my son to have my name and so did his mother so now he has a double barrel surname. Job done. I don't see how we are, or were, pretentious.

As for the OP, I can't understand why you would change now after giving your first born a double barreled name. It would seem silly to me for one to have it and another to not.

K-9 · 15-05-2016 5:05pm

I think loads of unmarried parents put both surnames down after a change in the law in 98, most probably use 1 of the surnames for practical purposes though I'd say.

arch_stanton · 15-05-2016 5:11pm

PandaX9 wrote: »

I would have been seriously screwed over by this system. Golobab or Babugol. Sounds like a ghoul from a children's book.

The Spanish have two surnames so for example the husband is Jose Hernandez Garcia and wife is María Lopez Rodriguez. Nobody changes name on getting married. Their children would be Pablo and Penelope Hernandez Lopez, i.e. taking the first surname from each parent. Quite a logical and efficient system.

PandaX9 · 15-05-2016 5:23pm

arch_stanton wrote: »

The Spanish have two surnames so for example the husband is Jose Hernandez Garcia and wife is María Lopez Rodriguez. Nobody changes name on getting married. Their children would be Pablo and Penelope Hernandez Lopez, i.e. taking the first surname from each parent. Quite a logical and efficient system.

Haha yeah I was having a bit of a derp moment. I was going purely by the post I had quoted and so I assumed it would be the first syllable from each surname instead of the first one of two from each. And then I realised I had several Spanish acquaintances who had, in fact, multiple surnames.

The system is interesting but fundamentally it is still the paternal surnames (ie that of the child's grandfather) that are passed down and kept more or less constant with each generation and name change.

Dirty Dingus McGee · 15-05-2016 5:27pm

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

I don't get the hate for double barrel names. I wanted my son to have my name and so did his mother so now he has a double barrel surname. Job done. I don't see how we are, or were, pretentious.

As for the OP, I can't understand why you would change now after giving your first born a double barreled name. It would seem silly to me for one to have it and another to not.

Then what happens if your children get married to another family with perhaps a double barreled name.

Do your grandchildren have triple/quadruple barreled names afterwards.

It's pretentious because I suspect women want it in the guise of equality while at the same time they have inherited their fathers surname so there isn't any equality at all and therefore makes the whole exercise pointless.

KERSPLAT! · 15-05-2016 5:31pm

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

Then what happens if your children get married to another family with perhaps a double barreled name.

Do your grandchildren have triple/quadruple barreled names afterwards.

It's pretentious because I suspect women want it in the guise of equality while at the same time they have inherited their fathers surname so there isn't any equality at all and therefore makes the whole exercise pointless.

He can decide for himself what to do if that's the case or if he wants to drop one when he's older then that's his decision.

SEPT 23 1989 · 15-05-2016 5:31pm

Carstairs ~Ramsbottom are our family names

Bloody Peasants

eviltwin · 15-05-2016 5:34pm

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

I don't get the hate for double barrel names. I wanted my son to have my name and so did his mother so now he has a double barrel surname. Job done. I don't see how we are, or were, pretentious.

As for the OP, I can't understand why you would change now after giving your first born a double barreled name. It would seem silly to me for one to have it and another to not.

Me neither. Mine have two names, I'm about as down to earth and unpretentious as you can get. I don't use my husband's name so I want my kids names to reflect my side of the family. However I get two names are a lot more annoying than one so my kids have the option to drop one. My daughter has already done this. I don't expect people to like it but I don't get the downright nastiness over it. I'm not trying to be snobby or stuck up.

schaffer · 15-05-2016 5:39pm

PLL wrote: »

I don't want to lose my name - that's probably why I wanted my daughter to have it to.

So keep your name. My wife still uses her maiden name after 11 years of marriage.
Just don't make your kids suffer. If you really want your kids to have your surname then get your husband to take your name.
AFAIK when you marry you can take any surname even make one up.

One eyed Jack · 15-05-2016 5:57pm

OP I wouldn't be worrying too much about it tbh, go with whatever you and your partner feel is right for you both, and when your children are old enough themselves they'll be able to decide for themselves what way they want to go, like this -

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

He can decide for himself what to do if that's the case or if he wants to drop one when he's older then that's his decision.

A friend of mine whose parents were divorced decided to keep her fathers surname while her mother changed back to her maiden name when my friend was only 3 at the time. It didn't cause her any issues at school or anything else. I haven't heard of too many men or boys with double barrelled surnames anyway but it'll probably become more common in the future anyway. Johnathan Philbin-Bowman is about the only one I can think of off the top of my head.

LeinsterDub · 15-05-2016 6:00pm

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

I don't get the hate for double barrel names. I wanted my son to have my name and so did his mother so now he has a double barrel surname. Job done. I don't see how we are, or were, pretentious.

As for the OP, I can't understand why you would change now after giving your first born a double barreled name. It would seem silly to me for one to have it and another to not.

Which name does he drop when naming his kids?

KERSPLAT! · 15-05-2016 6:03pm

LeinsterDub wrote: »

Which name does he drop when naming his kids?

None, both, either... I don't know, you'll have to ask him. His only words so far are quack and mammy, so you may wait a few years.

TheBiz · 15-05-2016 6:17pm

Plenty of surnames are double barrelled.. No wait.. I'm thinking of syllables.

It's your son, it's up to you and the mother.

maudgonner · 15-05-2016 6:45pm

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Johnathan Philbin-Bowman is about the only one I can think of off the top of my head.

Gavin Lambe-Murphy. Now there's a blast from the past for ye, the face of the Celtic Tiger. <shudder>

eviltwin · 15-05-2016 6:46pm

maudgonner wrote: »

Gavin Lambe-Murphy. Now there's a blast from the past for ye, the face of the Celtic Tiger. <shudder>

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

The Healy Rays

Dirty Dingus McGee · 15-05-2016 6:46pm

Jimmy Barry - Murphy.

But he's allowed it has he was so good at 2 different sports he deserves 2 surnames.

maudgonner · 15-05-2016 6:50pm

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

Jimmy Barry - Murphy.

But he's allowed it has he was so good at 2 different sports he deserves 2 surnames.

Jimmy Barry-Murphy has a brother called Barry apparently.

Dirty Dingus McGee · 15-05-2016 6:53pm

Another double barelled name from the GAA was Stuart MacKenzie - Smith who played full forward for Kildare in the 00's and it is possible the most un-GAA name to ever appear at inter-county level.

LeinsterDub · 15-05-2016 6:56pm

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

None, both, either... I don't know, you'll have to ask him. His only words so far are quack and mammy, so you may wait a few years.

Kicking the can down the road so.

To Elland Back · 15-05-2016 6:58pm

Cost you a fortune to put the kid's name on the back of a footie shirt.

diomed · 15-05-2016 7:04pm

Its a woman thing.

armaghlad · 15-05-2016 7:11pm

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

Another double barelled name from the GAA was Stuart MacKenzie - Smith who played full forward for Kildare in the 00's and it is possible the most un-GAA name to ever appear at inter-county level.

Was just about to mention him - Arguably a triple barrel surname!

happyoutscan · 15-05-2016 7:18pm

It's dumb.

Peter Anthony · 15-05-2016 7:23pm

I think most people would assume if 2 "siblings" had differing surnames they had different parents like half brothers or sisters. One thing some people do is give the mothers maiden name as the childrens middle name if its suitable. I do see more girls with double barrelled surnames now and also first names, they seem to like to show it off. In the end the lad will probably just pick one name, or be assigned a shorter nickname.

failinis · 15-05-2016 7:26pm

Peter Anthony wrote: »

I think most people would assume if 2 "siblings" had differing surnames they had different parents like half brothers or sisters. One thing some people do is give the mothers maiden name as the childrens middle name if its suitable. I do see more girls with double barrelled surnames now and also first names, they seem to like to show it off. In the end the lad will probably just pick one name, or be assigned a shorter nickname.

I have my mother maiden name as a middle name, so I still have it but not tripping over double names.

If I met two siblings with that situation of surnames I would presume half-siblings, I say give them both the same surname and their friends (and bullies) will shorten and pick which ever.

15-05-2016 7:35pm

eviltwin wrote: »

Me neither. Mine have two names, I'm about as down to earth and unpretentious as you can get. I don't use my husband's name so I want my kids names to reflect my side of the family. However I get two names are a lot more annoying than one so my kids have the option to drop one. My daughter has already done this. I don't expect people to like it but I don't get the downright nastiness over it. I'm not trying to be snobby or stuck up.

Me neither. Nearly foaming at the mouth in hatred of it. Bizarre
As if anyone else's last names affect you or crowing "what about the grandkids" as if the Spanish haven't already been doing it for generations, or even more hilariously now, blaming women because it's all our fault with our uppity notions

Dirty Dingus McGee · 15-05-2016 7:58pm

bluewolf wrote: »

Me neither. Nearly foaming at the mouth in hatred of it. Bizarre
As if anyone else's last names affect you or crowing "what about the grandkids" as if the Spanish haven't already been doing it for generations, or even more hilariously now, blaming women because it's all our fault with our uppity notions

I don't think people are foaming at the mouth in hating it they just may find the practice a bit odd.

Also I think you'll find that it is far more likely that women are the root of the existence of more double barreled names in Ireland (regardless of the number of posts that will almost certainly appear to contradict this point).

arybvtcw0eolkf · 15-05-2016 8:05pm

Personally I don't like double barrelled names.

Its a term frowned upon now, but in the past a lot of people seen it as a 'West Brit' thing.. Now I think more people see it as a Jeremy Kyle thing.

Boys/men having a double barrell name

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