Inheritance Nightmares

Consuelano

I read an article in the Journal containing stories from people whose families were torn apart due to wills and inheritances and I found it fascinating.

[Can't post link]

I'm lucky in that both my parents are still alive and well, and AFAIK everything is to be divided equally between myself and my sibling, so there shouldn't really be a problem. Yet, the amount of stories I heard from friends and colleagues down through the years of huge falling-outs is staggering and in some ways frightening. Is it a uniquely Irish thing, or is it the greedy part of human nature coming out?

I think most people have a story or two that they've experienced, witnessed or heard. So people of AH, where there's a will, is there a way?

smash

Most of the stories I've heard come from the farming community where everyone wants the land.

The_Valeyard

Yeah I knw of people who do not speak to family over land and wills. So sad ruins everything. Not sure is it greed or what people think they are owed.

When my parents die (hope long time off) I am owed nothing but have been given wonderful memories and time.

Arsemageddon

The_Valeyard wrote: »

When my parents die (hope long time off) I am owed nothing but have been given wonderful memories and time.

Sure if that's all you want I'll take the farm.

Days and Days

It is never the children who will fight but the people who marry into the families tend to cause problems.

The_Valeyard

Arsemageddon wrote: »

Sure if that's all you want I'll take the farm.

Fine.



Hehehehe, jokes on you, I dont have a farm *giggles like a school girl*

Spanish Eyes

Money talks and bullsh"t walks.

Especially where there is a farm o land and many siblings. OMG.

I know this and it is not pretty. I am an outsider so can see clearly LOL. It's fekkin mad.

There's nothing like death and money to bring out the vultures.

Sometimes there's terrible unfairness though. My aunts best friend looked after her parents for 10 years while they both succumbed to dementia. They left the farm and house to her brother and nothing to her. She spent her savings on the funerals as the brother said he couldn't contribute. He and his wife kicked her out within weeks of their mothers death.

Shint0

My brothers were trained in from a very young age to inherit the land. There was never any question that I would inherit it or that they would pursue other options. It's their livelihood. It's not as if they are going to cash in on it and move to the Bahamas. It's a lifestyle that I don't envy.

Turtyturd

Family currently in the middle of one. Grandmother died and left a clause in her will that the house couldn't be sold until her youngest son had died.....despite the fact she only owned half the property. Solicitors have pretty much laughed at the clause and there were attempts to come to a solution in the beginning but the son is refusing to move out. Nobody talking to each other now, and it's currently in the process of going to court but it's a long slow process.

Chain Smoker

Days and Days wrote: »

It is never the children who will fight but the people who marry into the families tend to cause problems.

Everyone involved likes to blame the in laws like wild in these situations, but it's plenty possible everyone places a value on their contribution which, either fairly or not, is not at all represented by the way things are divided.

I'd say Ireland is worse for it than a lot of places, especially rural Ireland where one son (with a preference for the oldest, often in spite of all logic) will usually get the lot. When you think about how something like a farm can absolutely consume someone's youth slaving away on it, getting absolutely nothing out of it is a raw deal.


I know one old fella who gave everything to the oldest son, who emigrated to new York in the 80s. The other son, who stuck around at home and ran the whole place got nothing.
Regardless of what was going on behind the scenes, the younger son had every right to be furious about it.

Chain Smoker

Shint0 wrote: »

My brothers were trained in from a very young age to inherit the land. There was never any question that I would inherit it or that they would pursue other options. It's their livelihood. It's not as if they are going to cash in on it and move to the Bahamas. It's a lifestyle that I don't envy.

Brothers, plural? I hope they've split clearly outlined now!

The Backwards Man

My oul lad signed all his debt over to me years ago, the bastard.

I'm probably going to have to adopt some poor young wan to sign it over to them.

Muahahaha

Does anyone know what would typically happen these days with farms? Is it still the preserve of the oldest son getting everything or would the son now be expected to sell some land and pay out to the siblings? How does the law treat such situations?

Shint0

Well those type of situations are totally unfair and were rife throughout Ireland. There should be a sweat equity in cases where one individual has remained and contributed to the maintenance and progression of the land where other siblings chose to pursue other options.

Shint0

Chain Smoker wrote: »

Brothers, plural? I hope they've split clearly outlined now!

All taken care of a long time ago.

Nobody is entitled to any part of the parents estate. If they want to leave it all to one kid, there's little anyone can do about it. It would be nice if everyone was fair, but sometimes not breaking up the farm seems to be more important than recognising individual contributions. Certainly daughters were expected to care for parents, but not complain when sons inherited the lions share of the estate in the not distant past.

tomwaterford

Muahahaha wrote: »

Does anyone know what would typically happen these days with farms? Is it still the preserve of the oldest son getting everything or would the son now be expected to sell some land and pay out to the siblings? How does the law treat such situations?

If no will everyone gets equal


In the event of a will it's usually the one who deos the most work/farms it inherits it....with no difference to age/position in family/gender
(As it should be imo)

Usually siblings left cash/right to a site on the farm

Letree

Sometimes siblings just don't like each other and when the parents are gone the deck of cards falls. That's what happened when my granny died. Money was at the heart of it but it could have been sorted if they had wanted too.

JoseWasntReady

My grandparents originally left everything to my uncle. He was single, worked locally making buttons in one of the co-ops and lived with them. They left the house to him in the original will as they wanted to ensure that he had a roof over his head and that he wouldn't go without so they left their few quid to him too.

Few years later and one of my grandparents passed - my uncles circumstances changed substantially by then. He was living with his partner in Kinsale and got a better job. Dude moved up in the world!

Anyway, the deal was then changed to split it and sort it amongst yourselves but the will was never changed so this was never legally ratified.

Then when my other grandparent passed away, a couple of months later my uncle informed my da, my other uncle and aunt that the house was for sale and he was keeping the money because dad (my grandfather) wanted him to have it. It wasn't a huge house or anything, four bedrooms and a bit of land at the back to grow root veggies and whatnot. Not much road frontage! Still fetched around a quarter of a million and they would have picked up a nice five figure sum each.

He pulled a fast one but they more or less said feck it and let it go. He 'kindly' let them anything they wanted from the house before he sold it. My old man took a tiny little ornament lol from the mantle piece and told him thanks very much.

No real tension because of it now, but my uncle is sometimes flash with the cash. Buying loads of rounds etc. The looks I catch my da giving him but he never says anything.

Could have caused ructions but it's only money at the end of the day.

20Cent

To split something between two people have one divide it and the other pick which half they want.

Joe prim

Days and Days wrote: »

It is never the children who will fight but the people who marry into the families tend to cause problems.

Your'e dead right, that's why most rural people in Ireland prefer to marry their siblings, it's a lot less hassle, although the childer tend not to be the most fetching.

Shint0

tomwaterford wrote: »

Though afaik if your living with someone 7 years they have much the same rights as being married??

I thought he was referring to the celibate bachelor type as opposed to co-habiting. There are still a few of those knocking around believe it or not.

Chain Smoker

There's lots of families who push all the songs into doing the work with no plan whatsoever still. I see big disputes between several sets of cousins in the future from this kind of thing.


From a pretty young age I hated farming and was backing out of it as much as a could (by doing other stuff around the place so I wouldn't by default become the person expected to carry it). It still ate up most of my childhood, but I'm happy to get none of it for nothing other than avoiding the pressure of being expected to continue with it.


Basically, my inheritance is having the autonomy to do whatever with my 20s and early 30s. There's definitely a lot of children from farming backgrounds who don't appreciate how much of a privilege that can be in comparison to what the one who gets landed with the land.

Letree

tomwaterford wrote: »

Though afaik if your living with someone 7 years they have much the same rights as being married??

Its 5 without children and 1 or 2 with i think.

Annasopra

tomwaterford wrote: »

Though afaik if your living with someone 7 years they have much the same rights as being married??

Not quite but yeah if a farmer cohabits with someone the cohabiting partner can put in a claim if they break up

Spanish Eyes

A Carefully drafted will is essential, whether you have lots or little.

Cover all avenues, think about it for months before you commit to paper via your solicitor.

Doesn't matter if those left behind are miffed. As long as it is watertight legally, feck them.

Your money, your land, assets whatever, it is totally up to you.

Apart from the legal right share of the spouse, look it up, I am not your slave LOL.

messy tessy

Chain Smoker wrote: »

There's definitely a lot of children from farming backgrounds who don't appreciate how much of a privilege that can be in comparison to what the one who gets landed with the land.

I think if you have grown up on a farm you can't be under any illusions of the time and sheer effort running a farm takes.

Spanish Eyes

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Not quite but yeah if a farmer cohabits with someone the cohabiting partner can put in a claim if they break up

Are you sure about that? I'd be interested to know where you found that out! Honestly.

tomwaterford

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Are you sure about that? I'd be interested to know where you found that out! Honestly.

http://m.independent.ie/irish-news/livein-partners-have-rights-new-court-ruling-says-26304026.html


Common law marraige

Spanish Eyes

A lot of farms have been passed on to the under 35s to benefit from the Stamp Duty and Gift tax things, along with a pension for the Dad.

I know there are rules and regs, but many have done it. And those who haven't are mad IMO.