Potential Partner Questionnaire

silly

I actually posted this back in 2005 - would be interesting to see if things have changed alot in the last 11 years!

I was single then, now i'm married with 3 kids!

It was originally just for girls - but I've changed it for both m/f.
what kind of questions would u like answered by a potential partner?

here's a few, ( feel free to add questions).

Are you insane? Tick boxes Y or N

Do you have a job?

Can you make a nice cup of tea?

Do you have the ability to retain any information for longer than 10 minutes?

have you ever made a potential partner fill out a questionaire? Y/N

Are you prepared to put me before beer and football?

Have you ever stalked anyone?




so on and so forth.....

stimpson

silly wrote: »

I was single then, now i'm married with 3 kids!

I feel sorry for your husband.

JustShon

Do you require constant attention via text message when we're apart?

Do you post vague Facebook statuses for attention?

Do you have Instagram?

If so, how often do you post selfies and / or pictures of your food?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Are you easily scared? It takes a brave man to love a wild woman.

El Weirdo

Do you like it in the brown?

silly

stimpson wrote: »

I feel sorry for your husband.

And why's that?

JustShon

Have your parents ever actually approved of a past partner?

If yes: Do they still comment about how they wish you had remained with any particular past partner?

Shint0

The stalking one. Definitely the stalking one. I still get texts in my spam filter and occasional private numbers in the night from someone I had a brief relationship. Met them all very innocently and on first impression seemed fine. In the brief time I was with them he searched through my rubbish bins, tried to put a tracker on my phone and told me if I ever finished with him he would get in my car and do something to the brakes. He could never figure out why his relationships never lasted :rolleyes:It was always because women lied and cheated on him and that's why they finished with him. The sex was good though I have to say.

whiskeyman

Do you agree with the concept of 'No pants Thursdays'?
Do you agree with the criminal act of stealing food from your partners plate when you ordered something healthy but are now longing for some of his juicy steak?
Will you wear a red badge during 'Shark Week' to give adequate notice during the week of impeding doom, and place full responsibility of your crazy actions on you, and you alone?

Shint0

How do you treat waiters and service staff? If they are obnoxious with waiters that's usually a good indication of how they will treat you.

stimpson

silly wrote: »

And why's that?

Because your need to humiliate potential partners with a questionaire points to you issues with narcissistic personality disorder.

But to keep within the spirit of the thread:

Can you swallow a footlong hotdog whole without gagging?

silverharp

Do you pay your credit card bills fully every month?

Do you buy stuff you never wear?

Do you have a Tumblr account?

How often have you used Patriarchy in conversation in the last 6 months?

JustShon

stimpson wrote: »

Because your need to humiliate potential partners with a questionaire points to you issues with narcissistic personality disorder.

Yes, this is an entirely serious thread about how we should all genuinely issue questionnaires to potential partners. It is not meant for entertainment value at all.

Akrasia

What's the difference between a Buffalo and a Bison?
( important to have either a sense of humour or a knowledge of zoology)

What two bands combined to eventually form Queens of the Stone Age?
(you'd better like the same things I do)


How is did you find me?
(I'm not in the phone book)

Why are you wearing that ski mask?
(it's a little bit wierd but I'm kinda into it)

Where are the keys to these handcuffs?
(wait, come back, where are you going?)

Boom_Bap

Can you kick it?

maudgonner

Do you bite your fork when you eat? (Deal breaker)


Are you an animal lover? (Good)

Yeah, but are you an animal lover in the metaphorical sense? (Very good)

Yeah, but are you an animal lover in the literal sense? (Very, very, very not good)

JustShon

Akrasia wrote: »

What's the difference between a Buffalo and a Bison?
( important to have either a sense of humour of a knowledge of zoology)

Ooh, ooh I know this one:

I've never said buffalo to a crying child as I packed all of my stuff into a suitcase :pac:

Chickarooney

stimpson wrote: »

Because your need to humiliate potential partners with a questionaire points to you issues with narcissistic personality disorder.

Do you take things way too seriously?

The Backwards Man

Can you foot turf?

Can you light a stove without firelighters?

Do you like Kris Kristofferson and T'Pau?

Which is a better way to spend a first date, a night at the opera or an evening weeding a vegetable plot?

Do you like Tennent's?

Are you easygoing?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Ok according to this survey, I'm backwards man ideal woman.
As long as I can drink it through a straw!

Shint0

Can you get up at 5 o'clock to milk the cows?

The Backwards Man

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Ok according to this survey, I'm backwards man ideal woman.
As long as I can drink it through a straw!

Which question is that the answer to?

silly

stimpson wrote: »

Because your need to humiliate potential partners with a questionaire points to you issues with narcissistic personality disorder.

Really.

Do I need to put a disclaimer on my thread to say that it's a joke.

My poor husband, how on earth can he be with someone like me!

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

what the hell!

Are you gay?

JustShon

silly wrote: »

Really.

Do I need to put a disclaimer on my thread to say that it's a joke.

My poor husband, how on earth can he be with someone like me!

Denial won't help you deal with your obvious, crippling narcissism.

silly

JustShon wrote: »

Denial won't help you deal with your obvious, crippling narcissism.

but I LOVE myself so much!

jamesbere

If one train leaves the station at 11pm going 50 mph and another in the opposite direction at 11:05 going 60, how many pineapples does John have?

diomed

whiskeyman wrote: »

Do you agree with the criminal act of stealing food from your partners plate when you ordered something healthy but are now longing for some of his juicy steak?

The most annoying thing ever.

MacauDragon

Are you OK with Bible level treatment of women y+1/n-1

Are you living on under $10 a day y+1/n-1

Will I have to meet anyone other than your father briefly y-1/n+1

Will hwe offer me a 30 day refund policy y+1/n-1

Will you sign several prenups y+1/n-50

diomed

How many acres?
[ ] under 10
[ ] 10 - 99
[ ] 100 - 999
[ ] 1000+

diomed

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Which question is that the answer to?

I think it was
Are you easy?

Boom_Bap

I'm Ron Burgundy?

Olishi4

"Youve got to ask yourself one question, do I feel lucky? Well do ya punk? "

osarusan

"Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party of the United States?"

Maximus Alexander

Do you have breasts?
Can I see them?

corner of hells

Can you smell the colour eight ?
Have you ever been to Navan ?

stimpson

JustShon wrote: »

Yes, this is an entirely serious thread about how we should all genuinely issue questionnaires to potential partners. It is not meant for entertainment value at all.

Chickarooney wrote: »

Do you take things way too seriously?

silly wrote: »

Really.

Do I need to put a disclaimer on my thread to say that it's a joke.

My poor husband, how on earth can he be with someone like me!

Whoosh...

Potential-Monke

What has happened to all the other men on Earth to say that you're talking to me?

/sad

maudgonner

Hey Monke, how you doin'? :cool:



(Nuclear holocaust btw)

recylingbin

Will there ever be a boy born that can swim faster than a shark?

Yes [ ]
No [ ]
Don't know [ ]

maudgonner

Was your mother a hamster?
What did your father smell of?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

How big is the shark

The Young Wan

silly wrote: »

have you ever made a potential partner fill out a questionaire? Y/N

Irony.

JustShon

maudgonner wrote: »

Was your mother a hamster?
What did your father smell of?

In whose general direction do you fart?

Westernyelp

Do ya like to go swimmin with long legged wimmin?

Do ya like the smella a pink umbrella?

recylingbin

LexieOnRale wrote: »

How big is the shark

Its big. I don't know how big, but its big. Its a big shark.

maudgonner

recylingbin wrote: »

Its big. I don't know how big, but its big. Its a big shark.

Then how big is the boat? Will we need a bigger one, do ya think?

recylingbin

maudgonner wrote: »

Then how big is the boat? Will we need a bigger one, do ya think?

The boat is an irrelevance if there's a boy that can outswim the big shark.

I can't emphasise enough how big this shark is

Boom_Bap

recylingbin wrote: »

The boat is an irrelevance if there's a boy that can outswim the big shark.

I can't emphasise enough how big this shark is

How deep is the water?

recylingbin

Boom_Bap wrote: »

How deep is the water?

Deep enough for a big shark, but not so deep that an aircraft carrier would comfortably sail.