First Dates Ireland *read first post*

Seamai

The American girl definitely deserved a lot better, she seemed disappointed but I think she had a narrow escape.

Why do some people try too hard to be different? That pansexual one was hard work, she couldn't be just bisexual, she made some comment about being attracted to people without it being sexual?? So if your pansexual are you attracted to everything? even animals and inanimate object.

Princess Calla

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'm not convinced when people offer to pay, imo you get your money out and pay half if you don't want to meet again, no offering or fluffing about or worse heading to the loo like the one last week, if you're heading out together afterwards it's ok as you can pay for drinks. I don't believe most of the 'offers'.

Ah the heading to the loo last week was so cheeky... I doubt that's the first time she's pulled that stunt either.

Totally agree with you pay halves especially if you have no intention of seeing them again and doubley especially if it's being filmed. They've no shame

Badly Drunk Boy

Seamai wrote: »

That pansexual one was hard work, she couldn't be just bisexual, she made some comment about being attracted to people without it being sexual?? So if your pansexual are you attracted to everything? even animals and inanimate object.

I can't remember what way she phrased it, but I'd say she said that she'd be attracted to a person rather than their gender. Maybe.

Princess Calla

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

I can't remember what way she phrased it, but I'd say she said that she'd be attracted to a person rather than their gender. Maybe.

Which is covered by saying I'm bi.

Ah I don't know, I'm definitely getting old, I can't keep up with all these labels!

_Kaiser_

Just watched it now and ye have covered it all above

American girl (the ACTUAL American girl - not the two wannabes competing on their sexual identities) was the most genuine and nicest of the night, but she had a lucky escape I reckon.

Cork girl was a bit too much for me. I like upfront direct honesty and a cheeky side but I don't think I'd be telling the country about my cosmetic surgery and party trick all the same.

Completely agree on the ridiculousness of some of these people trying to be so different and unique that they end up looking like all the rest of their circle anyway! Hipsters!

But maybe it's just me. I don't like tattoos anyway and seeing some people deface themselves like many do just seems like a waste and shame. Good looking girls ending up looking like an extra in Prison Break.

Bah, humbug! *waves stick*

Still Ill

Fair play to the hipster guy imo. Making the most of what he's got if that's the look he's into!

thelad95

Any couples under 21 are painful. To be honest, at that stage of your life in terms of outlook and life experience and general mentality you're still a teenager (I certainly was at that stage) and as a result the dates seem to be very fake and full of notions and insecurity.

I note the death glare when Alex said her ex-boyfriend. I also note that Alex was very non subtly dropping the bombshell that she's pansexual and wanting the other girl to bite, instead of being genuine and discussing each other's sexuality and coming out etc.

pgj2015

I agree with the comment about the younger people being a pain, yer one from cork "was over the whole one night stand thing "even though shes only 22 lol.

Princess Calla

Other than for attention I can't understand why anyone under 25 would go on the show.

Between college, work, hobbies, nightclubs it's an ocean of choice.

As you get older the ocean becomes more of a puddle.

I absolutely adore the golden oldies, they're just honest and get on with it.

PhilOssophy

pgj2015 wrote: »

I agree with the comment about the younger people being a pain, yer one from cork "was over the whole one night stand thing "even though shes only 22 lol.

At 22 I was loving that lifestyle!! When I headed towards 30 I realised it was time to change, she was 22 going on 40!

leggo

I don’t get why someone choosing to label themselves a certain way triggers so many people. Does it make you feel old and need to lash out at the world because it’s gone past your understanding? Like it does not affect you in a single, solitary way how someone you don’t know, who’s not involved in your life AT ALL chooses to identify their sexuality (or gender)...why does it get to you to the point that you then need to slate that person online? There’s a good chance they’re reading too, are times that tough that you need to make someone, who hasn’t wronged you, feel ****ty about themselves to get through the day?

I’m not pansexual. I identify as the gender that I was born. I don’t fully understand all of the issues and complexities involved in either. But it doesn’t affect me at all if someone else feels that way so if them identifying at that makes their lives a little easier, good luck to them.

Princess Calla

leggo wrote: »

I don’t get why someone choosing to label themselves a certain way triggers so many people. Does it make you feel old and need to lash out at the world because it’s gone past your understanding? Like it does not affect you in a single, solitary way how someone you don’t know, who’s not involved in your life AT ALL chooses to identify their sexuality (or gender)...why does it get to you to the point that you then need to slate that person online? There’s a good chance they’re reading too, are times that tough that you need to make someone, who hasn’t wronged you, feel ****ty about themselves to get through the day?

I’m not pansexual. I identify as the gender that I was born. I don’t fully understand all of the issues and complexities involved in either. But it doesn’t affect me at all if someone else feels that way so if them identifying at that makes their lives a little easier, good luck to them.

Well it obviously triggers you.

Personally I'm not triggered. However, my own feeling is alot of the time it's for attention seeking purposes.

A few years ago there was a massive campaign "don't put a label on me" and yet here we are with a new "label" each week to describe something that already had "a label".

I personally don't care what a person's orientation is once they are happy and it's legal. However, this constant need to be out there and edgy is getting old.

leggo

Princess Calla wrote: »

Well it obviously triggers you.

Personally I'm not triggered. However, my own feeling is alot of the time it's for attention seeking purposes.

A few years ago there was a massive campaign "don't put a label on me" and yet here we are with a new "label" each week to describe something that already had "a label".

I personally don't care what a person's orientation is once they are happy and it's legal. However, this constant need to be out there and edgy is getting old.

People who don’t care about something often create lists of reasons why that same thing bothers them. That’s how ‘not caring’ works.

Barna77

Only got to watch the last two episodes now.

If the Manchester guy and Larry ever changed teams I'd be looking for either of them

Something I don't like about the show is all the waffle at the start before the actual dates. Mateo and co talking about love and being in love and what not.

Titclamp

The man from Australia was great. Confidence is a great. Self belief is great. I am great.

Titclamp

Princess Calla wrote: »

Well it obviously triggers you.

Personally I'm not triggered. However, my own feeling is alot of the time it's for attention seeking purposes.

A few years ago there was a massive campaign "don't put a label on me" and yet here we are with a new "label" each week to describe something that already had "a label".

I personally don't care what a person's orientation is once they are happy and it's legal. However, this constant need to be out there and edgy is getting old.

I'm always triggered. What's the big deal?

leggo

leggo wrote: »

Couldn’t disagree more with this. You’re basically making a case for her having to settle because she’s got a disability. Trying to force attraction is a proven recipe for disaster and it usually ends in someone (usually the person not forcing attraction) getting hurt. He’s a sound lad and is much better off with someone mad about him, just as she is lovely and much better off with someone she’s mad about.

No i never suggested that for one second. If shes not attracted to him then fair enough. Im merely pointing out that his acceptance of her situation could be something she rarely encounters, thats all. Its a reality.

leggo

Yeaaaahh...that reads like the kind of emotionally manipulative language people use to try convince people not to break up with them tbh. "You'll never find someone who loves you like I do" etc.

And if you weren't making that point, then you were just making a pretty mean and unnecessary remark about someone with a disability, so either way it's not great.

leggo

leggo wrote: »

Yeaaaahh...that reads like the kind of emotionally manipulative language people use to try convince people not to break up with them tbh. "You'll never find someone who loves you like I do" etc.

And if you weren't making that point, then you were just making a pretty mean and unnecessary remark about someone with a disability, so either way it's not great.

:rolleyes:

Whatever mate

yerwanthere123

Seamai wrote: »

The American girl definitely deserved a lot better, she seemed disappointed but I think she had a narrow escape.

Why do some people try too hard to be different? That pansexual one was hard work, she couldn't be just bisexual, she made some comment about being attracted to people without it being sexual?? So if your pansexual are you attracted to everything? even animals and inanimate object.

If you don't believe in pansexuality or whatever that's fine, but to make a comparison with bestiality is a bit low, even for this thread.

RocketRaccoon

Can someone explain the difference between pansexual and bisexual because to my old fashioned mind they're the exact same thing.

Still Ill

RocketRaccoon wrote: »

Can someone explain the difference between pansexual and bisexual because to my old fashioned mind they're the exact same thing.

I think it includes being attracted to 'trans'/'gender fluid' people also.

SureYWouldntYa

RocketRaccoon wrote: »

Can someone explain the difference between pansexual and bisexual because to my old fashioned mind they're the exact same thing.

Pansexual means attracted to the personality, the sex doesn't come into consideration. Bisexual means they find both physically attractive. It's splitting hairs in a way but that's what it is

leggo

Yeah, my understanding would be it’s completely unrelated to gender or physical attraction. Whereas bisexuality refers specifically to male and female, ‘bi’ means two and so on. I can’t claim to understand it fully but who is it harming if people wish to define their attraction tendencies that way? People don’t get up in arms when someone says they need to be physically attracted to a person of a specific gender, but flip that and it drives people insane. Maybe it’s just an aversion to having a prefix before the word ‘-sexual’, or maybe people just want to be angry/judgemental about anything in general and this is a new subject that ticks that box.

RocketRaccoon

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

Pansexual means attracted to the personality, the sex doesn't come into consideration. Bisexual means they find both physically attractive. It's splitting hairs in a way but that's what it is

So they're both the same but it's people trying to be unique by saying they're pansexual?

leggo

RocketRaccoon wrote: »

So they're both the same but it's people trying to be unique by saying they're pansexual?

Bi- as a prefix means two, see bi-annual etc. Bisexual covers attraction to cis men and women. That’s two. Most potential partners prefer to know the sexuality of the people they’re dating, you more than likely do yourself (if you’re a straight man dating a woman and you were the first man she’d ever dated, you may consider that relevant and feel misled if they kept this from you).

So if you were to say you were bi but also dated trans people or generally had no particular preference towards any person based on gender (whereas bi people often lean more in one direction), you wouldn’t be disclosing the full picture. Saying that one word, which a lot of LGBTQ+ people would understand, is way simpler than having to explain the entire concept of sexuality like I just had to wouldn’t it?

_Kaiser_

leggo wrote: »

Bi- as a prefix means two, see bi-annual etc. Bisexual covers attraction to cis men and women. That’s two. Most potential partners prefer to know the sexuality of the people they’re dating, you more than likely do yourself (if you’re a straight man dating a woman and you were the first man she’d ever dated, you may consider that relevant and feel misled if they kept this from you).

So if you were to say you were bi but also dated trans people or generally had no particular preference towards any person based on gender (whereas bi people often lean more in one direction), you wouldn’t be disclosing the full picture. Saying that one word, which a lot of LGBTQ+ people would understand, is way simpler than having to explain the entire concept of sexuality like I just had to wouldn’t it?

It all depends on your whole view of a lot of this stuff though as well.

Anyway, it's probably one for another thread/forum than this one to be fair.

_Kaiser_

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

It all depends on your whole view of a lot of this stuff though as well.

Anyway, it's probably one for another thread/forum than this one to be fair.

What a load of complete and utter bulls*it this thread has descended into so suddenly. Wildly off topic to a subject that most of the senible world has no interest in, and not a mod to be seen. Total garbage

pixelburp

Deleted User wrote: »

What a load of complete and utter bulls*it this thread has descended into so suddenly. Wildly off topic to a subject that most of the senible world has no interest in, and not a mod to be seen. Total garbage

Hi. I'm a mod. Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

Uh huh.

So. This is a thread about a show that intentionally features the patchwork quilt of modern Ireland's romantic culture. For better or worse, romance & sexuality is a more complex, nuanced place than even 10 years ago, and often First Dates tries to reflect that. While I've not watched the show in a while, it's a legitimate perspective to take - and so legitimate fodder to talk of the content, and the context of said content.

Pansexuality feels ... wishy-washy to me, but live & let live, love is love. The people on the show often seem positive, happy people taking a chance. Often padded out with casting agency detritus for sure, but in the main it's a fascinating look at modern Ireland.

Officially? All I would say is that if people want to discuss the merits or complexities of modern sexuality, it's done civilly and respectful of each others' views. Be it supportive of said complexity, or sceptical. Not going to break out the cards now, but would ask people remember to debate in good faith.

pixelburp

pixelburp wrote: »

Hi. I'm a mod. Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

Uh huh.

So. This is a thread about a show that intentionally features the patchwork quilt of modern Ireland's romantic culture. For better or worse, romance & sexuality is a more complex, nuanced place than even 10 years ago, and often First Dates tries to reflect that. While I've not watched the show in a while, it's a legitimate perspective to take - and so legitimate fodder to talk of the content, and the context of said content.

Pansexuality feels ... wishy-washy to me, but live & let live, love is love. The people on the show often seem positive, happy people taking a chance. Often padded out with casting agency detritus for sure, but in the main it's a fascinating look at modern Ireland.

Officially? All I would say is that if people want to discuss the merits or complexities of modern sexuality, it's done civilly and respectful of each others' views. Be it supportive of said complexity, or sceptical. Not going to break out the cards now, but would ask people remember to debate in good faith.[/B]

And not in another thread where others dont have to wade through crap before we get back to topic...the actual show?