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Some fitness definitions for 2016

  • 18-04-2016 4:16pm
    #1
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 21,981 ✭✭✭✭Hanley


    Let's play a game :)

    "Personal Training"
    A profession where you hide behind your computer and don't interact with people personally.

    "Coach"
    One who writes a program "custom" online program and emails it to you, and 40 other people

    "Influencer"
    Someone who knows good lighting, how to tag, and posts 3 variations of the same shot 20-30x per week (ab check, food, belfie)

    "Hater"
    Anyone who thinks online personal training is to fitness as click bait is to journalism

    "Value"
    Get free information off respected people in the trenches & ignore it, pay social media bosses for 6 week program, seek out aforementioned respect people to fix problems social media boss has created


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,874 ✭✭✭deadlybuzzman


    Bad day at the office or is this you coming out as the gym whisperer?!
    It amazes me how many 'fitness'/'nutrition' people do nothing but post pictures of sweet crap. Do these people really exist or is it a fabrication concocted by some jabba the hut lookalike bakery enthusiast?
    I had to laugh when I seen a gym selfie of a self proclaimed bodybuilding trainer and his girlfriend, thing was she was in great shape but his calves were no bigger than hers


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,694 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    I had to laugh when I seen a gym selfie of a self proclaimed bodybuilding trainer and his girlfriend, thing was she was in great shape but his calves were no bigger than hers

    Less of the small calf hatred





    :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,874 ✭✭✭deadlybuzzman


    Less of the small calf hatred





    :(

    You do know that small calves are inversely corelated to what you can bench?
    I have massive calves .....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,694 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    You do know that small calves are inversely corelated to what you can bench?
    I have massive calves .....

    Pretty sure I disprove that theory.

    "Fitness"

    A suffix at the end of a name, esp. on Instagram, that confers authority on all things fitness on the person whose name it is.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 21,981 ✭✭✭✭Hanley


    Bad day at the office or is this you coming out as the gym whisperer?!

    No, you might remember I've been posting threads like this for years.

    Besides, everyone knows thats COH.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,646 ✭✭✭Mehaffey1


    Shame that the last pt related posts I've seen on Facebook feature hugely impressive results but get what you're saying. Mine would be

    'Only 2 sausage rolls 4 tea da nite #fitnessslimdietgainsnewme'


  • Posts: 0 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Gary Unimportant Napkin


    I'm into fitness
    Fitness whole cake in my mouth


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,874 ✭✭✭deadlybuzzman


    bluewolf wrote: »
    I'm into fitness
    Fitness whole cake in my mouth

    That reminds me of Clint Dardens approach to proving hard gainers wrong that said they couldn't gain weight. It was the cake diet and it was real simple, have a slice of cake with every meal and make sure the cake is gone by the end of day 2.
    In fairness to him he guaranteed you would get fatter and the only 6 pack in his house would be in the fridge


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,738 ✭✭✭caviardreams


    "progress picture"
    Selfie taken in between each set to assess #gainz


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,397 ✭✭✭COH


    Hanley wrote: »
    No, you might remember I've been posting threads like this for years.

    Besides, everyone knows thats COH.

    F*ck you :)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,694 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    'Lighting'

    The apparent justification for taking off clothes in the jacks or the elevator in Flyefit.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,552 ✭✭✭dylbert


    "Product review"

    Getting free stuff.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,694 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    dylbert wrote: »
    "Product review"

    Getting free stuff.

    See also 'sponsored'.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,634 ✭✭✭ThinkProgress


    "nice muscles fat boy" - Just something the haters say because they haven't yet mastered the art of producing 6 pack abs on top of a distended stomach.

    These hard gaining begrudgers just don't have what it takes to consume their own body-weight in protein shakes and chicken breasts! Lambs all of them! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,985 ✭✭✭Essien


    Refeed noun - A meal which is roughly equal in weight to the person* consuming it. Must be eaten from a paper bag and/or a cardboard box. Delivery is optional.

    *Person....not people.


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