Help me land a catfish!

Witchie

Hi, met this guy on a dating site and right from the off I kinda sussed something was up but decided to proceed with caution.

He says he is an American doctor working for the world health organisation and has been based in Dublin since December but is currently in Nigeria on a 3 month mission.

He has been very full on in his texts, sickly charming in fact.

I have been doing a bit of research from his picture and his name and he is defo not who he says he is.

I had been thinking of saying something along the lines of "I'm sorry but this is never gonna work. I only date black guys cause they are the only ones who know how to satisfy a woman" and dump his ass knowing he is indeed black and not white like his tinder pic.

But just now he has messaged me saying he needs some stuff and his credit card isn't working out there and asking me to send him some money.

I have played with the idea of saying I am broke but a Nigerian prince is sending me millions next week then I will be able to help him out but thought I would ask the good denziens of AH to come up with a way of playing with the guy.

Suggest away....

The Backwards Man

I wouldn't even waste my time bothering with him. He's just a scammer, it's no skin off his nose if someone wants to annoy him. Block him and move on.

Witchie

Ach was looking for a bit of craic.

Iwasfrozen

Witchie wrote: »

Ach was looking for a bit of craic.

You've come to the wrong place so.

Charlie19

Sounds like a genuine guy to me.

Kovu

Tell him you spent all your money on the sex op last year. Attach a full frontal before pic and describe some awkward pain that your having in your new area, phantom penis itches perhaps. As a 'doctor' he should be able to help.

The Backwards Man

Witchie wrote: »

Ach was looking for a bit of craic.

Get yourself a rod and line and head up to Drumreaske then!:pac:

jack923

Witchie wrote: »

Hi, met this guy on a dating site and right from the off I kinda sussed something was up but decided to proceed with caution.

He says he is an American doctor working for the world health organisation and has been based in Dublin since December but is currently in Nigeria on a 3 month mission.

He has been very full on in his texts, sickly charming in fact.

I have been doing a bit of research from his picture and his name and he is defo not who he says he is.

I had been thinking of saying something along the lines of "I'm sorry but this is never gonna work. I only date black guys cause they are the only ones who know how to satisfy a woman" and dump his ass knowing he is indeed black and not white like his tinder pic.

But just now he has messaged me saying he needs some stuff and his credit card isn't working out there and asking me to send him some money.

I have played with the idea of saying I am broke but a Nigerian prince is sending me millions next week then I will be able to help him out but thought I would ask the good denziens of AH to come up with a way of playing with the guy.

Suggest away....

Soon he will ask for a lend of money, he's probably not the smartest for saying he is now in the scam country of the world. Rings alarm bells anytime Nigeria is mentioned

mahoganygas

Haven't you ever seen Coming to America?

This guy is clearly loaded and just wants to get to know the real you, before he makes you his royal bride.

You could do a lot worse than James Earl Jones as your father-in-law.

Witchie

He did ask for money. Just now.

gerard2210

Witchie wrote:

He did ask for money. Just now.

Tell him you'll post him a cheque.

punisher5112

That's a keeper op I fully trust him you really should help the guy out imagine you been stuck with no money give him all your account details and even consider getting a credit card he will stick by you I know in my heart.

He will pay you back once he gets back and some he would be worth a fortune working where he does.

kfallon

Yeah I don't think you and dating sites are a good match OP.....

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=97701400

Find out where the Western Union offices are and pretend to wire cash to one several hours travel away. If nothing else, it'll give him something to do for the day.

Then when he complains he didn't get it you can tell him that's two of you not getting what you expected.

Follow up with 'So there!'. That'll really sting him.

tomwaterford

Get his bank account details??

recylingbin

Tell him you haven't much but you'll send him a couple of hundred to tie him over. Then get the details of where to send it. When he gives them, let him know in a day to two that you've sent it. When he gets back to you saying it's not there, tell him you sent it to the wrong place (somewhere a couple of hundred miles away should do it)
See if he goes there to collect. If he does, laugh at him.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

recylingbin

Candie, you evil bitch. :P

Think of all the patients that he won't be able to treat while he engages on this wild goose chase...

maudgonner

You need to play him at his own game. String him along for a little while, saying that you're trying to get the money together but haven't been feeling well lately and it's hard to get to a bank. Then let all communication lapse for a week.

Pick it back up saying that you are the executor of Witchie's estate, she has sadly passed away. She made provision in her will for Dr So and So, and all he has to do is pay the legal fees to get his bequest released.

Menas

So much material on this site! They bait the scammers.
http://www.419eater.com/

recylingbin

recylingbin wrote: »

Candie, you evil bitch. :P

I think you mean Evil Genius.

Right?

recylingbin

Candie wrote: »

I think you mean Evil Genius.

Right?

Remind me never to piss you off

maudgonner

Menas wrote: »

So much material on this site! They bait the scammers.
http://www.419eater.com/

I think I remember a good one they did where they got the guy to turn up at the airport to 'meet them off their flight'. They told him they'd need a way to identify him in the crowd, so he should carry a black backpack. But lots of people could have a black backpack, so he should hold it tight to his chest.

Airport security didn't take kindly to a guy hanging around arrivals for hours with a backpack clutched close to his chest...

Menas

maudgonner wrote: »

I think I remember a good one they did where they got the guy to turn up at the airport to 'meet them off their flight'. They told him they'd need a way to identify him in the crowd, so he should carry a black backpack. But lots of people could have a black backpack, so he should hold it tight to his chest.

Airport security didn't take kindly to a guy hanging around arrivals for hours with a backpack clutched close to his chest...

There was one where they went too far. The baiters pretended to be in some war zone about 2000 miles from Lagos. The deal was that the scammers would help the baiter, posing as a priest who was working on a mission, to move some of the church's cash for a small commission.
Two scammers set off on the long drive in to this war zone but stopped communicating a few days after crossing the border. Missing presumed dead. A bit too far IMO.

recylingbin

recylingbin wrote: »

Remind me never to piss you off

Hey, I'm a sweetheart!

Hercule Poirot

Tell him that you are bit short on cash at the moment, and then ask him if the people he owes money to will accept "tickle coupons" in lieu of payment

wokingvoter

Witchie wrote: »

He did ask for money. Just now.

There's all kinds of ways of winding this guy up
I'd love to see him making a flight to Amsterdam or Liverpool or somewhere thinking he's going to get 10000 out of safety deposit box or whatever
I'm too afraid of it getting nasty though
Just block him and forget about it

Capt'n Midnight

Just say you are too busy at work , try this template.

https://web.archive.org/web/20160304014149/http://www.419eater.com/html/joyce_ozioma.htm

Thank you very much for you interesting email, it was kind of you to contact me with your proposition.

Unfortunately I am not in a position to help you at this point in time as my company are conducting a very important 4 year long research project on Advanced Handwriting Recognition and Graphology systems.

Our work is extremely intensive and vitally important for our clients. They have committed over eight million dollars to our project and we are nearing the final stages. After nearly 4 years of research and development we are now only three months away from the conclusion and I am afraid I can allow nothing to interfere with the project until its completion.

We are always looking for paid volunteers to help with our project. If you are aware of anyone who would like to earn money by helping with our project by providing samples of their own handwriting to us then please do read the submission information below. We pay US $100.00 per page of handwriting samples.

Witchie

I asked how much he needs and he said 50. So have told him it will be a few days before I get paid and asked where I send it. He has just said "ok baby" but no details on where to send it. Will string him along and tell tales of woe about dogs dying (I don't have one) and spending his money on the vet. Ach will piss him off coz he has annoyed me.

tomwaterford

Witchie wrote: »

I asked how much he needs and he said 50. So have told him it will be a few days before I get paid and asked where I send it. He has just said "ok baby" but no details on where to send it. Will string him along and tell tales of woe about dogs dying (I don't have one) and spending his money on the vet. Ach will piss him off coz he has annoyed me.

Send him a pic of the 50

Menas

Witchie wrote: »

I asked how much he needs and he said 50. So have told him it will be a few days before I get paid and asked where I send it. He has just said "ok baby" but no details on where to send it. Will string him along and tell tales of woe about dogs dying (I don't have one) and spending his money on the vet. Ach will piss him off coz he has annoyed me.

Tell him you have a very expensive ring that you can sell to raise money to send him and to save the dog.
But you need money for the advert in the newspaper. Ask if he could send you the money for the advert. Then you will send him some of the proceeds of the ring sale.

Or if he could sell the ring for you -then could he send you the cost of the postage and insurance so you can post it to him.

12Phase

Tell him you'd like him to meet the (cult) leader so that he can get the tattoos and piercings done before the wedding.

Should put him off.

Del2005

Candie wrote: »

Find out where the Western Union offices are and pretend to wire cash to one several hours travel away. If nothing else, it'll give him something to do for the day.

Then when he complains he didn't get it you can tell him that's two of you not getting what you expected.

Follow up with 'So there!'. That'll really sting him.

That might work except for the fact that you can pick up from any Western Union office and the scammers already know this, I doubt he's in Lagos never mind Africa.

PARlance

Watch this then proceed.

https://youtu.be/_QdPW8JrYzQ

Witchie

Well he sent me the details of where to send money so did some digging and this is far from his first rodeo!

Hannibelle Smeeeth

Ok baby. Thats annoyed me more than the scam itself :pac:

dodderangler

Size 2 barbed hook and 30 pound monofilament line or braided line and 9 foot pike rod should land you a catfish and a live eel

Witchie

Was thinking of sending 50c for the fun. Need to check if there is a minimum

Witchie

Hannibelle Smeeeth wrote: »

Ok baby. Thats annoyed me more than the scam itself :pac:

That'sonly the tip of the iceberg. About 2 days into texting each other he asked me about why my last relationship ended so I told him I asked same question and he said she had died. I said I was sorry to hear that. His reply "it's okay baby now I have you"
😅😅😅😅😅😅

Ah Jaysus would you be bothered??

Witchie

Witchie wrote: »

That'sonly the tip of the iceberg. About 2 days into texting each other he asked me about why my last relationship ended so I told him I asked same question and he said she had died. I said I was sorry to hear that. His reply "it's okay baby now I have you"
😅😅😅😅😅😅

This would alert anyone, I wouldn't say he's very successful.

Just keep making excuses about why you can't pay and see how long he holds out for.

Witchie

Deleted User wrote: »

Ah Jaysus would you be bothered??

I have a boring life.

Candie wrote: »

This would alert anyone, I wouldn't say he's very successful.

Just keep making excuses about why you can't pay and see how long he holds out for.

I think I will enjoy doing that. Have already gone days without responding to messages coz I had an inkling from his first few messages

Capt'n Midnight

Witchie wrote: »

I have a boring life.

you need to pull your socks up

http://asset-d.soupcdn.com/asset/11877/7466_d9ae.jpeg

Witchie

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

you need to pull your socks up

http://asset-d.soupcdn.com/asset/11877/7466_d9ae.jpeg

Love it .

recylingbin

Where are we on this?

Witchie

Funny you should ask....about an hour ago I let rip on him.

I had been ignoring him for a few days and then last night when he kept asking if I was going to help and why was I not talking to him, I said "I am too upset". Left it like that until today.

He messaged again asking why I was upset and if I was still gonna help him out. I told him I was upset coz my catfish died.

He asked what that meant and I left it for another few hours before responding by sending him screenshots of the info I had found on him including his real facebook page and a page showing he was a scammer to watch out for.

I then added the following message:

Such a load of bulls**t. Do you really think I am so stupid? I knew you were a lying sack of sh*t within minutes of talking to you. I have enjoyed making you think I believed every word. So when I say "my catfish died" I mean you. I can't be arsed speaking to such a scammer. I hope you die alone for what you put some poor women through you disgusting piece of sh*t scam artist scumbag f**ker.


Doubt if will be hearing from Zacheus Larry again!

DownOneTourist

AHHH! I found him using the people search engine PIPL. http://www.wayn.com/profiles/sgtjamesmckay

recylingbin

Witchie wrote: »

He messaged again asking why I was upset and if I was still gonna help him out. I told him I was upset coz my catfish died.

:pac:
quality.

Doubt if will be hearing from Zacheus Larry again!

As much as I hate that guy, ye gotta love that name.

Witchie

DownOneTourist wrote: »

AHHH! I found him using the people search engine PIPL. http://www.wayn.com/profiles/sgtjamesmckay

Yeah that is different from the profile I have of him on Tinder where he is posing as a doctor from the World Health Organisation but seems he has done this on a few different sites as a doc or as military.

recylingbin wrote: »

:pac:
quality.


As much as I hate that guy, ye gotta love that name.

I know...class name for a sh*t person! Better than "Joe" the doctor!

Have added some of the screenshots. First his Tinder profile, then a piece about him on a military scam site and his real fb profile.

DownOneTourist

How did you come across the sgtjamesmckay info?

mimimcmc

More interestingly, how did you find his real facebook page?