Friendships.

Caoimhgh1n

What would a person have to do/say in order to make them lose your friendship? Would you make up with them after they did/said this, or not a chance?

b_mac2

If they told me that they started a thread on AH.

bodice ripper

There is always a chance. But then, I can be a bit of a doormat.

RealJohn

I like to think that none of my friends could lose my friendship, other than by demonstrating to me that I couldn't rely on them as friends. I don't think there's anything they could say or do otherwise.

A Dub in Glasgo

In a literary sense, stab you in the back

biko

Try to murder me.

Stonedpilot

Insulting a dying father did it for me, I'm normally very tolerant but this thing said was vicious abd wouldn't say it to a sworn enemy.

The_Valeyard

biko wrote: »

Try to murder me.

Really depends on the circumstances though.

PARlance

Lavinia wrote: »

My ex friend flirted for a while with my boyfriend at the time and tried to stand in-between us.
Afterwards she requested my friendship in FB but I never accepted, once you are out with me that's it : o)

Luckily I do not have many "ex-friends" e.g. people that I had to close my door to.

There's nothing like ignoring a facebook friend request when you really want to stick it to someone.

whiskeyman

'Hey hun'

Lavinia

My ex friend flirted for a while with my boyfriend at the time and tried to stand in-between us.
Afterwards she requested my friendship in FB but I never accepted, once you are out with me that's it : o) (I mean she never even apologized...)

Luckily I do not have many "ex-friends" e.g. people that I had to close my door to.

The_Valeyard

Lavinia wrote: »

My ex friend flirted for a while with my boyfriend at the time and tried to stand in-between us.
Afterwards she requested my friendship in FB but I never accepted, once you are out with me that's it : o) (I mean she never even apologized...)

Luckily I do not have many "ex-friends" e.g. people that I had to close my door to.

Double posting does it for me.

Lavinia

PARlance wrote: »

There's nothing like ignoring a facebook friend request when you really want to stick it to someone.

Ha, I was tempted but I thought, I rrrreally do not want this person in my life again, so I didn't. She started "following me" but...

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Double posting does it for me.

Didn't expect multiple-posting at the same time sorry about that : )

Miss Demeanour

It would take a lot to be honest but once I'm done I'm normally done.
Saying that I did meet with a girl I used to be friends with after 10 years of not talking and went for a coffee with her recently so maybe time makes ya forget!?

I unfortunately have a few ex friends. It is partly my fault and partly there's. If I can't count on you to be there for me when the shít hits the fan or if you have no loyalty, then the friendship will cease to exist.

KatW4

For me, it was someone spreading rumours that I was cheating on my boyfriend. I was heartbroken and furious that this person I called a friend could spread lies around about me.

eviltwin

The only friend I ever walked away from was someone who judged me. I don't expect friends to agree with everything I do or say but I won't put up with sanctimony. That and eating my biscuits.

Milly33

Lying Constantly.... I think it is horrible had one very good friend who i always trusted for advice and was always there for until the one day she just pushed the lies too far. It was always a case of a little white lie, then later on she would tell me the truth but you just cant deal with people like that. Tis take take take

tomwaterford

It would take a lot for me to fall out with someone (has happened though on a large scale at times)

But when I do....I just cut them out/have nothing to do with em and just forget about them ever really being in my life


I never really had a big blazing row/bust up....just let things build etc...then just say enough is enough and be done with it



(Has had to pointed out to me at times the extent to which people walk all over me)

The_Valeyard

Lavinia wrote: »

Ha, I was tempted but I thought, I rrrreally do not want this person in my life again, so I didn't. She started "following me" but...


Didn't expect multiple-posting at the same time sorry about that : )

Dont be sorry I got a post out of it.

Comhrá

I was having my retirement party a few years ago and that evening one of my best friends phoned me to say he couldn't make it as he'd been offered a night's overtime. (He's not badly off, just that €€ is his idol)

I sort of ignored him for a while afterwards but I suppose he was at least honest. He could have made up some bullsh1t excuse and that would have been more pathetic. We're best of buddies again now though.

Mozzeltoff

A couple of years back I cut a girl out of my life who I considered to be a close friend. She was aware of some of my personal struggles at that time and apparently supported me through them. At the same time though she was making an absolute skit of me behind my back.

She told everyone and anyone that I was going out every night of the week, getting ****ed up drunk, taking all sorts of drugs and riding everything from here to Donegal all behind my OHs back. Found out afterwards she had a thing for the OH hence all the nasty rumours.

She was a **** stirring cnut who split long standing friendships apart and broke down relationships. I cut that toxic whore out of my life three years ago and I haven't spoken to her since. Long may it stay that way.

A Dub in Glasgo

Mozzeltoff wrote: »

A couple of years back I cut a girl out of my life who I considered to be a close friend. She was aware of some of my personal struggles at that time and apparently supported me through them. At the same time though she was making an absolute skit of me behind my back.

She told everyone and anyone that I was going out every night of the week, getting ****ed up drunk, taking all sorts of drugs and riding everything from here to Donegal all behind my OHs back. Found out afterwards she had a thing for the OH hence all the nasty rumours.

She was a **** stirring cnut who split long standing friendships apart and broke down relationships. I cut that toxic whore out of my life three years ago and I haven't spoken to her since. Long may it stay that way.

Well done

petrolcan

Turns out getting quite drunk at your best mate's kid's christening after party whilst becoming increasingly louder and using the C word (a lot, as it happened) offends your best mate's parents in law (a lot, as it happened) and this in turn leads to you best mate's wife telling said best mate that he should disown me.

He hasn't been in touch in ten years but I'd still drop everything for him.

Maybe I shouldn't have insulted her mother *that* much.

MadDog76

Loyalty ......... for me, it's a very important aspect to any relationship so if someone close to me is disloyal then they might as well be dead to me ........ I'm not a very forgiving person.

chrissb8

Disloyalty is a deciding factor in me cutting off people. Trust is everything in a friendship it's the one unshakable foundation that must stay in place. I hate, HATED when I heard "Oh I just told so and so but you can trust them" I couldn't care if it was a CIA agent that wouldn't crack under torture. When I say keep it to yourself that's where it should stay. I'm swift in cutting people out of my life when I need to. Thankfully it's only happened 2 or 3 times.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

When my dad had heart failure during his chemo, I text my then best friend, absolutely distraught and alone and unable to say out loud I was scared my dad was going to die. I text her and said my dads had heart failure, he's very sick. She replied "oh s hit, does that mean you can't mind my dog?"

The same girl unasked me to be her bridesmaid a few months before because I had a farm accident the night before we were to go dress shopping, and I was in surgery when she wanted me to try on dresses. So, yeah. Because I missed it, I couldn't be bridesmaid.

Suffice to say she's no longer my best friend

Eimee90

Have cut someone who was my best friend for nearly a decade out recently. Was there for them through really rough patches, and then was dropped when they got into a relationship. They since tried to get back but the damage is fine. Conversations are forced and awkward ,and to be honest I can't shake off the hurt it caused me. Was put in awful situations when this person was going through a bad time, and was dropped as soon as her bf came along. Made me feel like a ten year friendship was a lie. Horribly painful thing to go through but weighing things up, it's better than feeling miserable all the time trying to salvage it.

BettePorter

Not so much 'lose' my friendship but i chose to avoid contact with a certain friend ( childhood ) because she is toxic to the point of dangerous. Everytime we met there would be a different drama usually involving a close family member or friend that she was suddenly accusing of something. I knew it was only a matter of time before I was the 'one'! She's literally ruined peoples lives with the accusations shes made. We still meet randomly and of course make plans to meet up but I will never initiate such a meeting. Its not worth the risk.
There are some people who are just addicted to drama. She's one.

sixfingered

I think as you grow older you end up with less time for friends anyway, so it's natural enough to lose friends through just not having the time or getting your planning in order.

Luckily I've never had anything *that bad* (that I know of!) done to me by anyone I regard as a friend.

I have drifted from a couple though (including my ex flatmate) but that was just because they just became too much hard work like expecting favours to be done for them but never agreeing to do any for me, always changing/canceling plans at the last minute etc.

In saying that though, if those folks ever needed me for something serious (as opposed to just needing a lift somewhere or something like that) I'd like to think I'd be there for them.

Milly33

Oh petrolcan!!! What did you say... Silly that he completely disowned you.. I know fine you should not have done that but no ones perfect....

Sounds all like similar stories of people who just take too much.. Same people are just all about themselfs

whiskeyman

'Friends' who don't put in the effort.
If it's me constantly arranging everything, all the meet ups etc... I'll just cut them off.
I did this to one 'friend' and he actually text back asking 'is something wrong? Have I done something to annoy you?' because he hadn't heard from me in a couple of months.
WTF? You NEVER contacted me or arrange to meet me?! I'm not a charity 'rent a friend'.

thattequilagirl

Caoimhgh1n wrote: »

What would a person have to do/say in order to make them lose your friendship? Would you make up with them after they did/said this, or not a chance?

Stirring **** in the already complicated relationship between my sister and I.

AnonoBoy

"Sorry I haven't been in touch I've been spearheading this Gamergate campaign. You know those feminists really need to be stopped."

thattequilagirl

I'd probably stop being friends with anyone I knew in real life that has replaced "Thanks, Obama" with blaming everything down to the stone in their shoe on "radical feminism"

Thankfully I don't actually know anyone like that

messy tessy

The one “friend” I cut out of my life was after I spent a horrible evening with her, she criticised everything about me, why I was single, how I tried to change my identity since I moved home and how pathetic it was, on and on, being very critical. I ended up bursting into tears and from that evening I had nothing more to do with her.
I remember thinking on the awful walk home I chose to spend time with her, she wasn’t in my life unless I wanted her to be and it was a deciding factor in cutting contact. She sent a bunch of texts after that saying she wasn’t sure what she did, or what was going on in my life that made me react like that. Life is too short to be spending time with someone who makes you feel like that.

petrolcan

Milly33 wrote: »

Oh petrolcan!!! What did you say... Silly that he completely disowned you.. I know fine you should not have done that but no ones perfect....

Sounds all like similar stories of people who just take too much.. Same people are just all about themselfs

I may have insulted her mother's appearance a little.

razorblunt

You think the world is golden when you're 10 years old playing Goldeneye on the N64.
Then THEY go and pick Oddjob as a character and you have to go find a new friend.

Time is too short for that sort of cúnitshness.

riffmongous

whiskeyman wrote: »

'Friends' who don't put in the effort.
If it's me constantly arranging everything, all the meet ups etc... I'll just cut them off.
I did this to one 'friend' and he actually text back asking 'is something wrong? Have I done something to annoy you?' because he hadn't heard from me in a couple of months.
WTF? You NEVER contacted me or arrange to meet me?! I'm not a charity 'rent a friend'.

This used to bug me so much, with some people I jsut didn't get it cause we had a genuinely good time when we did do something together and whenever I rang them they always agreed to meet up, they just never rang me. I've given up on all of them at this stage and I'm left with a good solid core now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9aF9_mZDyY

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Milly33

petrolcan wrote: »

I may have insulted her mother's appearance a little.

Oh oh never to be forgiven... Once had a friend who's mum came back saying I said something about her daughter wearing too much makeup..Now I may have said something like but in a nice way.. She just said look pretend I gave out to you over it as her hubbie was pied off over it.. Didn't see her much over that.. People are too touchy

Olishi4

I got a new pretty copybook when I was about 8 and decided I was going to write my songs it. The one and only song I wrote was called "friends will be friends".

Then some time later I heard the Queen song "friends will be friends" and I remember saying to my brother that Freddy Mercury must have stolen my song. I've never forgiven him for that.

etoughguy

Depends on who they are and what they did, the old saying goes it takes years to build up a friendship but only seconds to ruin it

Agricola

FizzleSticks wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

God those people are the worst. A school friend of mine who I've kept in contact with since is just like that. I now realize that we might have been friends yonks ago as teenagers but that doesn't mean it we still should be now necessarily!

ancapailldorcha

Only the once. I hope it's the only time as I'm not exactly awash with companions.

I moved across the country for a new job in late 2013. Was somewhat nervous but I remembered that a friend, let's call him Liam lives down here. Grand-o.

Anyway, 2 minutes into meeting him for the first time and I wish I was on my own again. My only purpose in his eyes is to sit there and ply him with drink while he describes in illustrious detail his latest sexual conquest or his latest holiday or both. And that's before I'd get abandoned for someone more trendy.

The scales fell off when he booked a trip for me, himself and a mutual friend to Galway. I asked if we should book a hostel or something and he just shrugged. Blocked him on Arsebook and never looked back.

Hannibelle Smeeeth

Social media makes it really difficult to fall out with someone. Ive cut people out before FB and the likes. The ones cut out were:-

- One person who was so self righteous and sanctimonious she made my ears bleed. Never looked back.

- Another I was really close with, but we drifted to the point Im full sure she was phasing me out. So i got in there first :pac:

It was grand back then, because youd never see the person. But now there are so many social media circles it makes it so hard to cut some one out.

DanielODonnell

I don't see my former friends anymore since they got girlfriends, I don't think there is much point of friends as I would care more about finding a wife as I am 24. Friends were useful as a teenager though when you had alot of free time

RonanP77

I'm not in regular contact with any of my old mates any more. There was a group of us that hung about together a good bit, we'd meet for pints once or twice a week as well as meeting up for weekends away, golf etc. 10 years later three of us are married, two with kids, on with dogs that he thinks are kids (they wore suits to his wedding), one is in jail (he was an idiot rather than a thug) and the last lad is about somewhere but I'm not sure where, he might have kids too.

It was an acumulation of things, rather than one thing in particular, I think me refusing to fall out with one of the lads arch nemesis (I have to work with said nemesis every day so that would've been awkward) was the start of it. Me not going to his wedding seemed to be a big part of it too.

hatrickpatrick

If somebody betrays me, we're done.

legocrazy505

I've fallen out with many people, in the past year I've called it quits with about 4-5 friends. None of them had any principals. Basically one of them was bullying my brother and none of the others called out the idiot for bullying a 12 year old. I get sick of people who don't have any moral principals and when someone shrugs it off as if they've done nothing wrong by sitting and watching it happen really pushes my buttons.

Ruu

Hurt me all you want, but say/do anything bad to or about my family and it's history.