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Objects that don't work

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24

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    #32
    the evasion_kid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,740 ✭✭✭the evasion_kid


    Mr.frosty


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    #33
    kneemos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,415 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    Starship Enterprise.


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    #34
    harry Bailey esq
    Registered Users Posts: 4,814 ✭✭✭harry Bailey esq


    katemarch wrote: »
    To quote that excellent scruffy detective Lovejoy, most things aren't.
    How can you call it a jug if it won't pour? A flowerpot would do a better job.

    Inspired by this thought, the Pyrex measuring jug now holds a pot plant.

    Being quite green fingered myself, I hope you had the werwhital to drill some holes in the bottom of the jug,otherwise your plant will die a death pretty sharpish. Certain milk cartons piss me off.


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    #35
    StupidLikeAFox
    Registered Users Posts: 7,699 ✭✭✭StupidLikeAFox


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    "Now the jugs don't work..."

    ...they just make me hurt,
    but at least they hold my daf-o-dils"

    Do do do do doooo

    :)


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    #36
    cormie
    Registered Users Posts: 20,835 ✭✭✭✭cormie


    Anything that's designed to be used with water/liquid but isn't rust proof. Like shower trays, outdoor padlocks, sieves and I'm just after buying a replacement for a metal compost bin I had that rusted through.

    ****ty headphones, speakers and head units.

    Reusable water bottles and food containers that have BPA and other chemicals in them.

    Cable bike locks that can be snipped in 2 seconds with a pliers.

    Cheap easy to use knife sharpeners that will eventually mess up the blade.

    Sport and physiotherapy injury prevention and performance enhancing and aiding wearables that have absolutely no affect.

    Any ****ty processed hunger suppressants marketed as food when they aid malnourishment instead of nourishment.

    Any anti ageing or concealer cosmetics that clog your pours and leave you walking around with a face full of chemicals which will over time make your skin worse.

    Antiperspirant, blocking sweat ducts with more chemicals can't be good.

    Medication that leaves you worse off healthwise.

    Back support and ergonomic furniture that doesn't prevent bad posture.

    Cheap umbrellas that get torn to bits in any kind of wind.

    Food processors and other kitchen equipment that don't have powerful enough motors to do what they are meant to.

    IKEA furniture after it's moved a few times.

    I could be here all day..


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    #37
    Poor Uncle Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 14,546 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    Menas wrote: »
    Are you left handed ?
    I am, and getting one that works easily is a bloody chore.

    Off to the emporium with you post haste, Neddy has just the thing for you.....

    Aglets, bloody nuisance..


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    #38
    looksee
    Registered Users Posts: 28,196 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    How can an aglet not work! Unless they fall off, in which case you get a fluffy lace end, but thats not really 'not working'!


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    #39
    Poor Uncle Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 14,546 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    looksee wrote: »
    How can an aglet not work! Unless they fall off, in which case you get a fluffy lace end, but thats not really 'not working'!

    Oh they work ok, I just don't like them, bondage for laces...


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    #40
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,921 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Jugs work if you don't over fill them. Just fill to two thirds.


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    #41
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,044 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Penis enlargement pills.


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    #42
    Poor Uncle Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 14,546 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    Mister Vain wrote: »
    Penis enlargement pills.

    You're doing it wrong, they absorb through the skin when they are stamped in violently with 5" high heels. They're guaranteed to work, at least until the swelling goes down....


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    #43
    Day Lewin
    Registered Users Posts: 4,631 ✭✭✭Day Lewin


    harry Bailey esq wrote: »
    Being quite green fingered myself, I hope you had the werwhital to drill some holes in the bottom of the jug,otherwise your plant will die a death pretty sharpish. Certain milk cartons piss me off.

    Oh, it is currently employed as a cache-pot, the actual plant is in a pot of its own.


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    #44
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,108 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Dyson vacuum cleaners. Well they kinda work, but not very well and are pure shíte on carpet. The vacuum with no bag that doesn't lose suction, yeah because it has eff all in the first place.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #45
    DEFTLEFTHAND
    Registered Users Posts: 16,500 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    kbannon wrote: »
    The unemployed don't work!

    How dare you objectify human beings.


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    #46
    Victor
    Registered Users Posts: 78,312 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    katemarch wrote: »
    Money is only paper and scrap metal, it isn't really worth anything in its own right, not like in the Olden Daze when it was actually connected with the value of real gold and silver.
    When you eat any of them, do they have nutritional value?


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    #47
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,044 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Poor Uncle Tom wrote: »
    You're doing it wrong, they absorb through the skin when they are stamped in violently with 5" high heels. They're guaranteed to work, at least until the swelling goes down....

    This works better.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jby0I-zLj9c


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    #48
    Archeron
    Registered Users Posts: 6,202 ✭✭✭Archeron


    Those feet shaped things with suction cups that you stick in a shower tray and use to clean your feet without having to bend down and bonk your head off the shower wall, and I really don't understand how they don't work. It has bristles, there shouldn't be much more to it than that.


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    #49
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,044 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Those nose strips that supposedly help you breath better.


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    #50
    harry Bailey esq
    Registered Users Posts: 4,814 ✭✭✭harry Bailey esq


    katemarch wrote: »
    Oh, it is currently employed as a cache-pot, the actual plant is in a pot of its own.

    Well that cleared that up for me, much better than f*ckin it in the bin, waste not, want not as they say. Kudos.


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    #51
    Conall Cernach
    Registered Users Posts: 1,932 ✭✭✭Conall Cernach


    maudgonner wrote: »
    It's also a truth universally acknowledged that 99% of teapots are dribbly as fúck.
    Especially those metal ones that you usually get in cafés, the ones where the lid doesn't close properly.


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    #52
    Junkyard Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,117 ✭✭✭✭Junkyard Tom


    Why the oft misplaced TV remote controls are coloured black baffles me - they should be bright orange or yellow or some other colour that doesn't allow them to deliberately hide with such ease the instant you turn your back on them.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY96hTb8WgI


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    #53
    Stigura
    Registered Users Posts: 3,413 ✭✭✭Stigura


    Kennel Club Dogs.


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    #54
    fineso.mom
    Registered Users Posts: 1,092 ✭✭✭fineso.mom


    ger vallely wrote: »
    I just recently bought some solar bulbs for the garden. They look so lovely, big, brightly coloured and they hang from the gazebo. Don't bloody work though. Not even a dim hint of light do they emit, nothing. They were only €1.50 each in a certain Homestore but they ought to work. Surely it costs almost the same to make a product that actually works.

    Have a close look at the little solar panel. Is there a protective clear plastic sheet on it? If so, take it off. I got some of those lights , thought they didn't work but it was just the plastic strip blocking the light. Maybe to stop them lighting up until they are being used or something.
    If it works can I get a prize for being helpful?


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    #55
    Harry Palmr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 40,061 ✭✭✭✭Harry Palmr


    saorview


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    #56
    Internet Ham
    Closed Accounts Posts: 164 ✭✭Internet Ham


    Junkyard Tom wrote: »
    Why the oft misplaced TV remote controls are coloured black baffles me - they should be bright orange or yellow or some other colour that doesn't allow them to deliberately hide with such ease the instant you turn your back on them.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY96hTb8WgI

    I knew it.


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    #57
    darkpagandeath
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24,465 ✭✭✭✭darkpagandeath




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    #58
    bodhrandude
    Registered Users Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭bodhrandude


    On time Bus Eireann buses.

    If you want to get into it, you got to get out of it. (Hawkwind 1982)



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    #59
    timthumbni
    Registered Users Posts: 4,845 ✭✭✭timthumbni


    Boomerangs. Never once has one of those fecked came back to me.


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    #60
    sadie1502
    Registered Users Posts: 666 ✭✭✭sadie1502


    Tesco self service tills. Crap hate them they see me coming and refuse to work.


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    #61
    K.Flyer
    Registered Users Posts: 8,565 ✭✭✭K.Flyer


    Stop Snoring devices / gadgets, 99% useless.
    The best snoring solution is a damp pillow firmly held down on the offenders face.


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