Anything you regret in life?

Stheno

Probably a thread for older posters, but I'm wondering if there is anything you regret in life?

For me, it was probably getting married, we had a wonderful relationship and got married on the understanding that we would never have children as I didn't want them, then as my now ex approached his forties he found a strong urge to have children, which ended with us splitting.

He's now approaching 50, probably still wants kids, and I sometimes wonder if he/we took a wrong path in life, and regret any part I had in him not realising his dream of having kids.
You?

Filmer Paradise

I have very few regrets. Why?

Because in every era of my life, I did the very best I could based on the information I had at the time.

Of course there's things I'd love to change or make a different call on in hindsight.

Things haven't worked out too bad for me but I wish I had more confidence in certain situations when I was younger.

Elemonator

Filmer Paradise summed it up perfecto. I can only reflect on my past.

I'm only a young fella but I still wish I had worked harder in my teens. Wanted to study medicine and I definitely could have if I had studied. Only got 430 in my Leaving, which isn't bad, but its a long way off.

Curly Judge

I wish I had read more to and with my children.
They all got a third level education but none of them are readers.
I'll try to make up for it with the grandchildren.

sandra06

wasting 11 yrs on a tosser ,,,which on reflection i should have got him arrested for been abusive ,,having said all that if i had left earlier i would have never met my wonderfull hubby sometimes life just works out ;)having regrets on what you should have done gets u nowhere its makes you what you are today

KERSPLAT!

I regret not going asleep earlier, gonna be wrecked tomorrow!

Filmer Paradise

Elemonator wrote: »

Filmer Paradise summed it up perfecto. I can only reflect on my past.

I'm only a young fella but I still wish I had worked harder in my teens. Wanted to study medicine and I definitely could have if I had studied. Only got 430 in my Leaving, which isn't bad, but its a long way off.

Your'e too young to reflect on the past. I'm 47 & have a very understanding wife to chat with when I'm feeling blue.

In some ways I'd love to be young again. To have that optimism where everything is possible.

Don't lose that feeling too quickly. You never know what's around the next corner you turn.

MarkAnthony

Opening that first Boards Account :pac:

Smoking that first cigarette.

newbie2

reading this thread

lc180

If I could turn back time, If I could find a way, I'd take back those words that hurt you and you'd stay not get banned from After Hours :pac:

mickyhealy

not having more sex in college. serious. everything else, nah, it all worked out fine

diomed

I bought a second-hand Mini 850. I should have bought a Ferrari.

Filmer Paradise

lc180 wrote: »

If I could turn back time, If I could find a way, I'd take back those words that hurt you and you'd stay not get banned from After Hours :pac:

Again like?

Junkyard Tom

Regrets are a primarily a deathbed thing. I don't intend to die for at least another five hundred years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6c75cOL0G8I

nkav86

Wasting opportunities, only now figuring out how to make it right

housetypeb

My wife committed suicide one sunny afternoon while I was at the cinema with my children.I came home to a garda standing at my door,waiting on an ambulance.
My wife had been on facebook where she had declared that it was time to check out,her sister in California saw it,tried calling me but my phone was out of charge so she looked up and called the local Garda station who took it seriously and went to the house,discovered my wife comatose and called an ambulance.
My regret is that I didn't put my wife into my car and drive her to the hospital instead of waiting for an ambulance that took 40 minutes to arrive,she suffered an massive heart attack in the ambulance and was basically dead on arrival.
If I had acted sooner she might have survived.I don't believe in religion,hell or heaven, but the guilt will always be with me.
And if I should ever meet her again-I will beg her forgiveness while not expecting to receive it,I let her down.

pragmatic1

housetypeb wrote: »

My wife committed suicide one sunny afternoon while I was at the cinema with my children.I came home to a garda standing at my door,waiting on an ambulance.
My wife had been on facebook where she had declared that it was time to check out,her sister in California saw it,tried calling me but my phone was out of charge so she looked up and called the local Garda station who took it seriously and went to the house,discovered my wife comatose and called an ambulance.
My regret is that I didn't put my wife into my car and drive her to the hospital instead of waiting for an ambulance that took 40 minutes to arrive,she suffered an massive heart attack in the ambulance and was basically dead on arrival.
If I had acted sooner she might have survived.I don't believe in religion,hell or heaven, but the guilt will always be with me.
And if I should ever meet her again-I will beg her forgiveness while not expecting to receive it,I let her down.

That's heavy stuff. Sorry for your loss.

Mint Sauce

There's nothing I regret, but there are things that I certainly would have done differently.

pragmatic1

Being cunty to my parents, really cold hearted to ex-girlfriends and being a bad friend sometimes.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Having my dinner last night and drinking wine, I'm vomitting like a wild animal all night.

Regrets? I have a few, but then again to few to mention!
Ah no I'm all honesty, my only regret is not telling more people to **** off

Chain Smoker

Wasting too much time choosing things, it can be huge things spanning years like choosing where to move and what kind of work to get into, or really minute stuff that just devours an evening in a completely pointless way like whether to eat something sweet or something savory (and whether that will impact my options of what to choose to eat later), which film to watch (followed up by which tv show to watch as I've wasted an hour trying to pick a film)...

Anything else I could regret has generally had some kind of return.

Stigura

Stheno wrote: »

Probably a thread for older posters, but I'm wondering if there is anything you regret in life?

For me, it was probably getting married

Jesus wept! You wait till Jim Bob Scratcher finds this!

A degree that I've no interest in.
The last time I took acid.
Not getting a motorcycle license while still in Ireland.


The last one being one that's pretty annoying.

hairyslug

Buying my second house, the NE had us trapped for years.

Not repairing the relationship between myself and my mother before she got sick.

Not pretending to be gay at a job interview about 3 years back (I ridiculous notion, I know)

Robsweezie

insightful topic, but I feel these sort of threads only serve to have you mulling over the past and beating yourself up when you should be in the now. it fuels depression.

no major regrets so far, just little things like maybe I could've handled this better, asserted myself more in that situation etc.

vg88

Not tackling my mental health relapse until I had a massive F*** up

wandatowell

I regret giving up guitar. I was better than average but my teen friends mocked me so I stopped (12-14 years young at the time).

I regret not relaxing more in my 20's and enjoying more time away with the lads, holidays etc.

demanufactured

Buying a house in 2006.
It's worth damn all now.

housetypeb

housetypeb wrote: »

My wife committed suicide one sunny afternoon while I was at the cinema with my children.I came home to a garda standing at my door,waiting on an ambulance.
My wife had been on facebook where she had declared that it was time to check out,her sister in California saw it,tried calling me but my phone was out of charge so she looked up and called the local Garda station who took it seriously and went to the house,discovered my wife comatose and called an ambulance.
My regret is that I didn't put my wife into my car and drive her to the hospital instead of waiting for an ambulance that took 40 minutes to arrive,she suffered an massive heart attack in the ambulance and was basically dead on arrival.
If I had acted sooner she might have survived.I don't believe in religion,hell or heaven, but the guilt will always be with me.
And if I should ever meet her again-I will beg her forgiveness while not expecting to receive it,I let her down.

Oh God love you.

valoren

Should have bought shares in Apple in 2004 after buying and being very impressed with the iPod.
I dithered on it and decided against it.

A modest $5k investment would be worth $232,000 today.

You live and learn.

Miss Merry Berry

I don't have any major regrets thankfully as I truly believe that every mistake or set back I've had in my life has lead me on the path I'm meant to be on now with the people I'm surrounded with and love. The only thing I regret is not fully appreciating everything my mother did for me but that understanding came when I had my own child and with maturity of age. I wish I could have spent more time with my mother and learn more from her but that wasn't meant to be unfortunately. Everything in life is a learning curb I guess.

Olishi4

I did have a few regrets but I realised that I always made the right choices in the long run so I don't dwell on things.

Speedwell

Having children. Not saying "no" when I wanted to say "no". Not saying "yes" when I wanted to say "yes".

What I don't regret, even though I turned out to be wrong: Telling my overbearing father I was leaving his oppressive underwing "to go make my own mistakes". Hoo boy, did I ever make them. But they were my own mistakes.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

RobertKK

I don't regret anything, I know I can't change the past, but the future is up to me to change the pathways I go down.
I don't see the point in having regret, what is done, is done.

wurzlitzer

RobertKK wrote: »

I don't regret anything, I know I can't change the past, but the future is up to me to change the pathways I go down.
I don't see the point in having regret, what is done, is done.

No regrets!

Sometimes I think I should not have done that that was a bit impulsive and spontaneous but eh makes life interesting.....

jester77

I've made plenty of mistakes, but I wouldn't say they are anything I regret. They are all part of the learning experience and make you mentally stronger and wiser. No point looking backwards and thinking about how you could have changed things as it's not possible to change the past. Move on, learn and don't repeat.

ancapailldorcha

Em.... been moving about constantly for work with no salary increase or progression.

The flying mouse

I have made quite a few that i know of and most likely quite a few i dont know off ,I dont live in my past nor do i regret it, its what made me now. live and learn always.

eviltwin

No regrets at all. There are things in hindsight I should have done differently but I don't regret anything.

Speedwell

I remember what an old boyfriend said to me once when I mumbled that mealy-mouthed, New-Age, "what does not kill me makes me stronger" nonsense about past mistakes and misfortunes making you a better person.

"No", he said, "I think you were a better person before that **** happened to you. I think you had a right to make mistakes, and I don't look down on you for it, but you'd have been better off if you had learned those lessons in some less damaging way."

wurzlitzer

Speedwell wrote: »

I remember what an old boyfriend said to me once when I mumbled that mealy-mouthed, New-Age, "what does not kill me makes me stronger" nonsense about past mistakes and misfortunes making you a better person.

"No", he said, "I think you were a better person before that **** happened to you. I think you had a right to make mistakes, and I don't look down on you for it, but you'd have been better off if you had learned those lessons in some less damaging way."

**** that was harsh! Not one bit judgemental sounds like he was mister perfectly perceptive with his crystal ball eyes and over analysis

Yeah sure sometimes there's always a better way to learn something

The easy way and hard and long way

But it's the hard way that sometimes teaches skills that you learnt along the way that show you how to deal with tough future situations that the easy one won't

"I don't look down at you for it"

Sounds like he did....

I am sure you have come a long long way ;D

Speedwell

wurzlitzer wrote: »

**** that was harsh! Not one bit judgemental sounds like he was mister perfectly perceptive with his crystal ball eyes and over analysis

Yeah sure sometimes there's always a better way to learn something

The easy way and hard and long way

But it's the hard way that sometimes teaches skills that you learnt along the way that show you how to deal with tough future situations that the easy one won't

"I don't look down at you for it"

Sounds like he did....

I am sure you have come a long long way ;D

Fair cop, we were both really harsh on ourselves at that time in our lives (just out of college and starting out). But no, I really don't think he looked down on me, I think he really applied that standard to the whole world including himself. We were (I blush to admit) really into Ayn Rand at the time, which I suppose was sort of my cohort's answer to the hippie thing. I got over it.

But what his words left me with was not the idea that I was an irredeemable sinner, but the idea that abuse causes damage, whether inflicted on you by someone else, or by you on yourself. You can't handwave that sort of thing; it would be tantamount to saying that we should be glad to have been abused. It's better not to have had to suffer damage to our self-esteem, our health, our finances, or our reputations, no matter how easily and well we healed afterward.

Shenshen

I'm not sure, to be honest.
Regretting something would mean you are fairly how things would have turned out if you had taken the other option, and you assume they would have worked out for the better.
I might be over-thinking this, but looking back at all the decisions I've made over time, especially the big ones, I couldn't for the life of me say what would have happened had I decided differently, let alone be confident it would have been better.

Don't get me wrong, I made my share of mistakes and then some. But I never really made the same mistake twice, so I assume that every mistake taught me something. And all those lessons added up to the person I am now.
I don't know if I'd be a better or happier person if I had made fewer mistakes, or just different ones.

Not loving and respecting the love of people who loved me, because I was a self-absorbed, arrogant insensitive young male. That window of opportunity offered to you goes and with it the dreams and innocence of good, loving people whom you've hurt. To receive that love is the deepest honour of all; to treat it so callously the deepest ignominy.

Life is so short. I feel like screaming that to the younger me. Scientifically-speaking to be alive we are all recipients of the most amazing lottery. We might as well be kind to each other as we all have our ups and downs, we're all struggling with different things and it ends in pain and suffering for each and every one of us. We know not the day nor the hour. In the way you treat other people, try and live each day as if it's your last.

Jimoslimos

My only regret...is that I have...boneitis.

KERSPLAT!

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

I regret not going asleep earlier, gonna be wrecked tomorrow!

Ugh! zzzzzz

wurzlitzer

Speedwell wrote: »

Fair cop, we were both really harsh on ourselves at that time in our lives (just out of college and starting out). But no, I really don't think he looked down on me, I think he really applied that standard to the whole world including himself. We were (I blush to admit) really into Ayn Rand at the time, which I suppose was sort of my cohort's answer to the hippie thing. I got over it.

But what his words left me with was not the idea that I was an irredeemable sinner, but the idea that abuse causes damage, whether inflicted on you by someone else, or by you on yourself. You can't handwave that sort of thing; it would be tantamount to saying that we should be glad to have been abused. It's better not to have had to suffer damage to our self-esteem, our health, our finances, or our reputations, no matter how easily and well we healed afterward.

Very true,

sometimes actions can have a butterfly effect

We should always think [without being about how our actions and words might effect others or have consequences

To be more conscious

In other words always to be kind to ourselves and more compassionate to others.

wurzlitzer

Speedwell wrote: »

Fair cop, we were both really harsh on ourselves at that time in our lives (just out of college and starting out). But no, I really don't think he looked down on me, I think he really applied that standard to the whole world including himself. We were (I blush to admit) really into Ayn Rand at the time, which I suppose was sort of my cohort's answer to the hippie thing. I got over it.

But what his words left me with was not the idea that I was an irredeemable sinner, but the idea that abuse causes damage, whether inflicted on you by someone else, or by you on yourself. You can't handwave that sort of thing; it would be tantamount to saying that we should be glad to have been abused. It's better not to have had to suffer damage to our self-esteem, our health, our finances, or our reputations, no matter how easily and well we healed afterward.

Very true,

sometimes actions can have a butterfly effect

We should always think [without being about how our actions and words might effect others or have consequences

To be more conscious

In other words always to be kind to ourselves and more compassionate to others.

Maximus Alexander

There are a few things that I could say I regret, but when I dig a little deeper I actually don't. All of those things led me to where I am now and I have plenty to be happy about.