What type of criminal would you be?

gramar

If you've fallen on hard times or just fancy a career change what type of criminal activity would you get involved in to pay the bills? Would it be selling drugs, phishing, insurance scams maybe, a confidence trickster, a pimp, good old fashioned robbery? A politician maybe as most seem to think they're the biggest crooks in the country? Endless opportunities to make crime pay so what's it going to be?

I think maybe I'd go for armed robbery, stick 'em up kinda thing.

hatrickpatrick

Don't want to kick the thread off by being the ultimate mad bastard, but I probably wouldn't pay my TV license.

Alf Stewart.

Scooby Doo criminal.

An I'd of gotten away with it, if it hadn't of been for you meddlin kids.

Junkyard Tom

They'd call me 'The Gardener' because I'd always leave a rose at the scene of the crime.

the evasion_kid

salt watering coke machines and receipt scams, left handing the odd item past the cashier.crime pays

jimgoose

Decent, salt-of-the-earth type wot does over banks and post offices wiv pickaxe-handles and sawnoff shotguns, innit?

Stigura

Solicitor. Banker. Courier. The choices are endless.

ProudDUB

One who doesn't get caught preferably.

Robsweezie

The type that would steal your heart babe

BMJD

A TD lol ROFL smrt

Elemonator

Mr. Steal-your-girlfriend.

Theft is wrong right?

arybvtcw0eolkf

A modern day war criminal, but not as bad as Bush or Blair ~ more your Ariel Sharon, murder a few thousand unfortunate Palestinians from time to time and right before facing justice I'd have a stroke and die in old age.

But since the worse I've ever done in life is get three penalty points for speeding, I'd probably just be a speeder collecting penalty points from time to time.

Manach

Hans Gruber : The Nakatomi Towers would be a heist in the classic mould.

Simon2015

I'd print my own money.

Id like to think id be a Walter White when in reality id probably be more of a Walter Mitty

Dyr

One of those ****ers who the cops know is durty but keeps the head down and they can't get a hand on

And then goes all respectable and buys a nice house on the same road as the commisoner

wil

Smooth.

With a kick ass white suit.

Capt'n Midnight

According to the RSA free speed surveys 98% of drivers break the law.

You can get up to five years for having a recording device in a cinema. Like a cameraphone. And there are lots of other copyright laws we may have inadvertently broken.

Lots of people haven't paid their TV licences or water. And has anyone received money from friends or family without declaring it for tax ?



We are already criminals.

foggy_lad

I'd go on the game and I'd be the best rent boy auld lad in town.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Tony Soprano. I reckon I'd be good at it. Wouldn't **** around on my bitch wife and make her be all "mwaaah, TONY", wouldn't get all mickey-swingy-competitiony with people and cause all sorts of problems for myself, just quietly and politely engage in some handy extortion and gambling stuff from a distance and definitely redecorate my house and eat a bit less food and enjoy myself.

Heckler

Charlie undercover in Its always Sunny

Heckler

The crime genre in film is odd.

Take "HEAT", a bunch of murdering bastards who kill minimum wage workers for money yet we root for them. At least I did. I wanted Kilmer to get away.

But when its on our doorstep bank robbers are scumbags.

Arghus

A sociopathic serial killer with a heart of gold.

biko

I'd be a robber robber, robbing from robbers.
And a murderer murderer.

Heckler

Andy ?

ceecee14

I'd probably mug auld wans at family members funeral. If your gonna be a scumbag may as well do it right

Dyr

biko wrote: »

I'd be a robber robber, robbing from robbers.
And a murderer murderer.

What do we doo with murderers?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDYfYFTrYGM

MadDog76

Drugs .......... the money comes fast and easy and there's plenty of it!

The goal would be to set a target figure, get that amount and get out before you get too big to be ignored by the other piranha's in the pond ......... the Gardai aren't really a problem as you'd practically have to hand yourself in before they'd notice you ........ even then it takes years for them to complete their "investigation". :rolleyes:

Once out, with the planned amount of profit, you need a plan to clean the money ....... either a small business (think chipper, corner shop etc.) that, on paper, is hugely profitable for a couple of years before selling up and retiring once you've managed to bank enough cash ......... or a small legitimate investment that gives you a steady reliable income without having to work too hard.

The problem is, once you're in, the business/money gets addictive and you end up forgetting about your exit plan ........... then one day you're retired by a competitor and you're worse off than ever!

Easca Peasca

White collar crime all the way :cool: I'd rather rob money wearing a three piece suit than a balaclava

jamesbere

I'd rob cheese and sell it at a cheap price.

sandra06

getaway driver love to have a fast car

Mesrine65

A very bad one...I'm too honest

Call Me Jimmy

Fraudulent plumber

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I ain't that nigga trying to holla cause I want some head
I'm that nigga trying to holla cause I want some bread

You fcuk with me, you fcuk with a P-I-M-P

Mesrine65

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I ain't that nigga trying to holla cause I want some head
I'm that nigga trying to holla cause I want some bread

You fcuk with me, you fcuk with a P-I-M-P

ZV Yoda

I'd be these lads...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pabA320p9B0

jimmytwotimes 2013

Serial Killer, not so much for money, more for the love of it.

They say it's important to want to go to work in the morning. So it would be more a vocation and to hell with the money.

sandra06

jimmytwotimes 2013 wrote: »

Serial Killer, not so much for money, more for the love of it.

They say it's important to want to go to work in the morning. So it would be more a vocation and to hell with the money.

ok thats not scary at all:eek:

diomed

I would be Robbin' Hood, with my bow and arrow, wearing green leggings with a toilet roll stuffed down the front.

Buona Fortuna

I'd bring home pens and stationary from work and give to people for christmas presents.

gramar

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

According to the RSA free speed surveys 98% of drivers break the law.

You can get up to five years for having a recording device in a cinema. Like a cameraphone. And there are lots of other copyright laws we may have inadvertently broken.

Lots of people haven't paid their TV licences or water. And has anyone received money from friends or family without declaring it for tax ?


We are already criminals.

Speeding and downloading movies illegally isn't going to put bread on the table though is it? Not paying taxes or not being caught and fined for speeding and the like will help cut costs but you need to make some money too!

Mr.Crinklewood

jimmytwotimes 2013 wrote: »

Serial Killer, not so much for money, more for the love of it.

They say it's important to want to go to work in the morning. So it would be more a vocation and to hell with the money.

You have PM

Asmooh

It's better not to tell here what I would do, otherwise I will get the garda, interpoll, europoll and the space police at my doorstep

gramar

Asmooh wrote: »

It's better not to tell here what I would do, otherwise I will get the garda, interpoll, europoll and the space police at my doorstep

I saw the username...I couldn't help it...you'd be.....asmooh criminal

jimmytwotimes 2013

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

You have PM

Send on a list and I'll do it for free

matchthis

A crooked vigilante, bit like a poor batman

the evasion_kid

MadDog76 wrote: »

Drugs .......... the money comes fast and easy and there's plenty of it!

The goal would be to set a target figure, get that amount and get out before you get too big to be ignored by the other piranha's in the pond ......... the Gardai aren't really a problem as you'd practically have to hand yourself in before they'd notice you ........ even then it takes years for them to complete their "investigation". :rolleyes:

Once out, with the planned amount of profit, you need a plan to clean the money ....... either a small business (think chipper, corner shop etc.) that, on paper, is hugely profitable for a couple of years before selling up and retiring once you've managed to bank enough cash ......... or a small legitimate investment that gives you a steady reliable income without having to work too hard.

The problem is, once you're in, the business/money gets addictive and you end up forgetting about your exit plan ........... then one day you're retired by a competitor and you're worse off than ever!

ever seen the movie superfly? ....

jimmytwotimes 2013

matchthis wrote: »

A crooked vigilante, bit like a poor batman

Arthritis gets even the great ones

mansize

Psycho serial killer like Kevin Spacey in Se7en

mansize

Probably more like that fat weirdo that killed Jill Dando

Olishi4

Robin Hood, Princess of Thieves