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Losing interest

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Comments

  • #32
    Chemical Byrne
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,311 ✭✭✭Chemical Byrne


    RebekahD wrote: »
    So the fact she works full time would mean the only time when she could have any proper time with her child is the weekend ?? Hence why the judge would of given alternate weekend for access !

    I get that but it's still desparately unfair on her. The parenting workload should be shared evenly insofar as is possible. She minds the child all week every week and then alternate weekends but he never has to do the midweek minding. I would think a more equitable setup would be for him to mind her some weekdays too so her mum can get some of her own midweek time too.

    As it stands, he has a handy time of it and pretty much lives a carefree single life with only a token contribution to parenting duties. I think that is wrong.


  • #33
    Conor Bourke
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 17,426 ✭✭✭✭Conor Bourke


    Chemical Byrne wrote: »
    I get that but it's still desparately unfair on her. The parenting workload should be shared evenly insofar as is possible. She minds the child all week every week and then alternate weekends but he never has to do the midweek minding. I would think a more equitable setup would be for him to mind her some weekdays too so her mum can get some of her own midweek time too.

    As it stands, he has a handy time of it and pretty much lives a carefree single life with only a token contribution to parenting duties. I think that is wrong.

    "He" being the OP or the child's actual father?


  • #34
    SarahMollie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,841 ✭✭✭SarahMollie


    Loop Zoop wrote: »
    "He" being the OP or the child's actual father?

    Presumably the childs father, but again thats not the real question here.

    The OP didnt come on saying that his GF's former partner is lumbering her with the child, and therefore they don't get much quality time.

    He said that even when the can spend time together, she doesn't want to do much other than sit in watching telly at her place.

    Different issue altogether.


  • #35
    ibarelycare
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 58,456 ✭✭✭✭ibarelycare


    Chemical Byrne wrote: »
    I get that but it's still desparately unfair on her. The parenting workload should be shared evenly insofar as is possible. She minds the child all week every week and then alternate weekends but he never has to do the midweek minding. I would think a more equitable setup would be for him to mind her some weekdays too so her mum can get some of her own midweek time too.

    As it stands, he has a handy time of it and pretty much lives a carefree single life with only a token contribution to parenting duties. I think that is wrong.

    This has nothing to do with the OP's question. You know nothing about the relationship the gf has with the child's father, or the circumstances of their parenting agreements.


  • #36
    Conor Bourke
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 17,426 ✭✭✭✭Conor Bourke


    SarahMollie wrote: »
    Presumably the childs father, but again thats not the real question here.

    The OP didnt come on saying that his GF's former partner is lumbering her with the child, and therefore they don't get much quality time.

    He said that even when the can spend time together, she doesn't want to do much other than sit in watching telly at her place.

    Different issue altogether.

    Exactly, I don't understand why the sharing of parenting is being brought into this at all, but I guess I just wanted to clarify.


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  • #37
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    Loop Zoop wrote: »
    Exactly, I don't understand why the sharing of parenting is being brought into this at all, but I guess I just wanted to clarify.

    I can't help but think that she may be using the child as one way to keep the OP at arm's length. He didn't say what age the child is but if he/she is old enough to be watching TV at 9.00 in the evening when he comes to visit, then it's not a small child we're talking about here.


  • #38
    H3llR4iser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,028 ✭✭✭H3llR4iser


    I am extremely surprised nobody pointed this out. It's actually quite apparent:
    Guest54321 wrote: »
    The weekends she does have the child I rarely see her during the daylight period as she goes clothes/makeup shopping with her mother and child, this has been consistent for months on end now.
    Guest54321 wrote: »
    If I ever go to visit her, it will always be the child (which is fine), my girlfriend and her mother in the room. We never get private time in her house, even when the child has gone to sleep.

    There are two specific issues here; First, her mother is quite clearly an overbearing presence in just about everything she does.

    There is absolutely no rational reason whatsoever why, even on a weekend she does have the child with her, she couldn't go out with you on the Friday or Saturday night. Common sense suggests she could leave the child with her own mother for a few hours, just like she most likely does when she's at work - unless it's either her mother standing in the way (resenting her or just controlling what she does) or she just doesn't want to.
    Guest54321 wrote: »
    " I'm not going up to yours just to watch tv when I can do that here".

    And here we go, second issue: honestly, it looks a lot like she either doesn't care at all or is just into doing only what she wants, without considering for a split second what you'd like. Also, it's an incredibly stupid reply to give for a number of reasons so long, I'd run the board.ie servers out of memory if I tried to mention.
    Guest54321 wrote: »
    She is a great girlfriend

    I do have a reputation for calling a spade a spade, so here I go: you don't really know. You sound like two friends who see each other every now and then to watch some TV.

    Honestly, if I were you I'd have legged it long, long, long time ago. There are many issues there which, most likely, you can't fix.

    You really need to consider if, in your late 20s (be it 26 or 29, nothing changes), you want to spend your life according to this routine:

    - Sleep;
    - Work;
    - Go sit on a couch with a kid and an old lady watching TV;
    - Sleep;
    - Repeat;

    Give it a very good and hard thought, outside of that living room there's a world going around.

    Also, if you work stably, you might want to rent your own place. It costs money, of course, but you don't need a castle. I can guarantee you that the freedom and peace of mind of being able to do whatever you want whenever you wish is more than worth it.


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