VOAT 15 - Magnetic 69 - READ & VOTE HERE

Ilyana 2.0

Story 10: Queen of the Savages

The stories were all fantastic and a joy to read, it was hard to pick my favourite out of 3-4 strong contenders.

I'll raise my hand in shame, mine was #5. Looking forward to another VOAT to improve my writing though.

Hrududu

Story 10: Queen of the Savages

echo beach wrote: »

No 4. This was my favourite and a deserved winner. It is proof of the importance of a good opening line. I'm curious if the start came first or if it got added later. It was totally believable, allowing the reader to sympathise with the character and forcing you to question your own ideas about what the dividing line is between mental illness and a coping strategy.

Thanks for the kind comments. The end actually came first. I liked the idea of saying goodbye to an imaginary friend and then shifting perspective to them.

The standard of all the stories was really high. Even when a plot wouldn't be my cup of tea the quality of writing in each story was terrific.

Thanks Das Kitty for organising.

Das Kitty

Story 8: Nothing Matters When We're Dancing

As promised, feedback for the stories that didn't get the vote.

Story 1:
I quite enjoyed this nugget of a story. I liked the imagery and the language was wonderfully evocative. It did feel more like part of something than a story in its own right. It felt like it could have done with a couple more edits too. It could be expanded into something incredible. Would definitely like to read more of this world.

Story 3:
I really liked the great detail here. Knowing now that it was a recent real life event makes sense. It feels very immediate and the emotion is strong. From a fictional short story point of view I think it may need a thread that ties through. Some unresolved issue between the narrator and her father, that will give extra drama. While the descriptions of the funeral and grief are wonderfully done, I don’t know if it’s the right ending here. I felt that the ending should have been with the doors closing, and the reader could draw their own conclusions.

Story 5:
A very touching story. It really got me in the end. I had a little tingly moment when she went. I thought there was a lot in it, more than the scope of a short story. A whole life condensed like that. It deserves a novel.

Story 6:
This is a story which I can appreciate the craft and I know how good it is, but it didn’t grab me personally. Hands up, it didn’t get the vote due to my own personal taste. Objectively it’s masterfully written. Great suspense and growing dread. Then ending in the form of mass is really well done. I suppose to me, it felt a little didactic, it was telling me something I already know. HOWEVER, as I was reading it I was thinking to myself, that it would make a brilliant short film. Would the author consider converting it into a screenplay?

Story 7:
Very strong characterisation here. It was perfectly evocative of that time of life when a couple are comfortable with each other. Too comfortable! I do think the narrator would have been more hurt or angry or irrational. She seemed a bit passive to me. It hurts to feel like you’re being betrayed, and I wanted to feel that with her. I also thought that Philip might feel hurt that she thought him capable. I nicely rounded out short story, I enjoyed it.

Story 10:
I am completely in love with the narrator in this one (the narrator, trout, calm down!!). What a great and unusual voice. It only missed my top list due to the fact that I got a little bit lost at times. The language is top class, perfect for the subject matter. And it was brilliant energetic fun. If I’m ever put in a zoo, I’m sharing my nanas with nobody. Got it!?



Mine was number 9, and in my normal fashion, my story came out of my own dirty mind. My first idea was all about a misunderstanding about a guy's dick being a snake, and I couldn't fully let it go, hence the opening. :pac:

echo beach

Story 8: Nothing Matters When We're Dancing

redser7 wrote: »

The first draft came in at around 3000 words and did have more descriptive writing but I had to make a decision and strip it out from the actual interview. I'd love if we could remove the word limit altogether. I think a story just wants to be the length it is rather than restricting it to a target word count.

I agree that a story may have its own ideal length but there are all sort of limits in life, not least that of readers' patience and attention span. Can you honestly say that the original was 50% better than the final version? The skill is in knowing what to cut and you certainly managed to keep the essence of the story.

Das Kitty

Story 8: Nothing Matters When We're Dancing

echo beach wrote: »

I agree that a story may have its own ideal length but there are all sort of limits in life, not least that of readers' patience and attention span. Can you honestly say that the original was 50% better than the final version? The skill is in knowing what to cut and you certainly managed to keep the essence of the story.

Writing to a word count is something you'll always have to do. It's a skill and it's worth working on. The vast majority of short story submission guidlines have a cap of 2,000. It's not just arbitrary, it's a nice satisfying length for a short story.

Now I have plenty of stories that went off into the realm of no-man's land between short story and novella. And I do stand by them being the right length for the stories they are, but I can see why someone wouldn't be bothered sitting down to read them when they see the word count.

Sci-fi short stories can be good and long. In fact the feckers don't tend to like them under 5k words.

FWIW, redser, I think your story was the perfect length. It fit its bones. If there was more description at the start I may have switched off as a reader. The real real meat was in the dialogue, and it was such a joy.

When it's here, it's hard to ask readers to read and vote on huge big stories. I know the last arena challenge, it was tough to get time in the 24 hour period to read, process and vote on the two stories. We'll be keeping the word limits here.

trout

Story 5: Grand Canyon

I'm just flummoxed that no-one got my latin joke, after all the effort it took to work it into the story ...