Embarassing yourself in public

One More Toy

Is it just me or does everyone seem to embarrass themselves publicly at least once a week?

I find in conversation with people i dont know well i make a tít out of myself somehow.

And my brain tends to randomly remind me of these instances at silly times, like walking to work or falling asleep

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I always make a fool of myself when it comes to car things. Sometimes I wonder if they ask complicated questions for fun but the reality is I'm just a simpleton.
I called up to get an insurance quote once and the guy on the phone asked me what size the engine was. Taking it literally, I explain I have absolutely no idea, I've never seen it. He very patiently explained that usually it would be 1.4/1.6 etc while I could hear him stifling a laugh.

Another time I had to go get new tyres. Parked outside the tyre shop. I need two tyres please, I said. He asked me what size tyres did I need. Em, just the regular size, thanks. He looked at me as if I had ten heads, said nothing but just walked out to look at them himself.
Awkward.

smash

I didn't trip, I just decided to start running...

Speedwell

I think everyone embarrasses themselves regularly, and the worst offenders have no idea they are even doing it.

Just popped in to say that I'm a computer tech support "guru", and I don't consider ANY question silly or stupid. If you need to ask, you need an answer. Of course it would often help if you'd, you know, write down the answer so I don't have to dig you out of a hole the twentieth time, but hell, it's job security if you don't write it down, so win-win.

endacl

I'm unembarrasable.

Boom_Bap

Calling your teacher 'Mammy'.

Worst sh*t that could happen to you.

Professey Chin

Speedwell wrote: »

I think everyone embarrasses themselves regularly, and the worst offenders have no idea they are even doing it.

Just popped in to say that I'm a computer tech support "guru", and I don't consider ANY question silly or stupid. If you need to ask, you need an answer. Of course it would often help if you'd, you know, write down the answer so I don't have to dig you out of a hole the twentieth time, but hell, it's job security if you don't write it down, so win-win.

Then you really haven't been doing tech support long enough :pac:

MilesMorales1

I was in the supermarket there today, and I messed up at the self service, and then I messed up again, and then again, and there was a super big line and everyone was looking at me and I wanted to melt into the floor.

Speedwell

Professey Chin wrote: »

Then you really haven't been doing tech support long enough :pac:

No, I've been doing it for 15+ years, lol. I'm just more of a trainer type that got drafted in, I suppose

jimgoose

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Calling your teacher 'Mammy'.

Worst sh*t that could happen to you.

Mmm. 'Specially in 3rd year Comp. Sci. :pac:

smash

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Calling your teacher 'Mammy'.

Worst sh*t that could happen to you.

Or saying love you as you hang up on some random girl from a call centre.

Das Kitty

One More Toy wrote: »

I find in conversation with people i dont know well i make a tít out of myself somehow.

And my brain tends to randomly remind me of these instances at silly times, like walking to work or falling asleep

I'd put money on the people you talk to not agreeing that you made a tit of yourself. I'll bet they're all standing there worried about how you perceive them as much as you worry about what they think of you.

I get this too, it comes with Anxiety. The second part especially, if my brain starts reminding me how stupid and horrible I am I know I'm in a bad enough way.

Be kind to yourself OP.

Boom_Bap

smash wrote: »

Or saying love you as you hang up on some random girl from a call centre.

or saying 'howya' so someone as they say 'see ya' to you.

love you

smash

How are you?
Great, you?
I'm good, you?

Shit...

Optimalprimerib

smash wrote: »

How are you?
Great, you?
I'm good, you?

Shit...

Or similar

"Hello"
"Not too bad, yourself?"

razorblunt

My mind goes a hundred miles an hour usually, sometimes you'd walk past someone away in your own world and they'd ask "how are you?" or some other form of small talk. My mouth then engages before my mind slows down and end up just talkingreallyfastatthemaboutimgrandreallybutonthewaytoameetingasoneoftheladsisoutsickandimsteppinginlastminuteandthefckerdroppedmeintitbybyebyebye.

LDN_Irish

Optimalprimerib wrote: »

Or similar

"Hello"
"Not too bad, yourself?"

When I was about 15 getting in to a scrap at school. He says "I'll knock you out!" I reply "or what?!"

Adventagious

Going to the counter at a coffee shop, order a hot drink.

Barista brews it up, lashes into a takeaway cup and leans forward to hand me the drink.

I reach out to take the cup out of their hand and...just....mash my fingers into the cup, knocking it onto the counter and spilling hot coffee everywhere. Barista is immediately confused and angry because it looked VERY like i intentionally slapped the coffee out of their hands and onto the counter.

Stammer out a "oh god i don't know how I did that i'm so sorry!" and barista says "it's fine, it's fine, i'll make you another no charge".

Mortified but grateful i wait for the new coffee to be done. Eventually barista gives me a smile and a nod and places the cup down on the counter so i can take it myself.

Flustered and nervous at this stage i say "thanks so much", try to maintain eye contact with barista and while reaching for the new coffee manage to mash my stupid fingers into the lid and knock it over. Coffee all over the still damp counter.

Face was very red. Don't even remember what i said at that stage, just had to scurry out of the shop and into a cave to die in shame forever.

I can never go back.

redbel05

LDN_Irish wrote: »

When I was about 15 getting in to a scrap at school. He says "I'll knock you out!" I reply "or what?!"

Best
Comeback
Ever

Confuses your opponent into submission

captbarnacles

Coffee dock at DART station. Was handed coffee and was paying for it with other hand when out of nowhere I feel a MASSIVE sneeze coming.
Snap decision is I can't sneeze on my coffee and I can't sneeze on the change I'm handing her or the glass display so ast last second I turn my head and sneeze down and to the right. All over the trouser leg of the man wearing a suit queuing behind me. ARGHHHHH. It was green gloop covering most of his leg. I handed him some tissues and mumbled some unintelligible apologies and got out of there. I should have offered him some money towards dry-cleaning his suit but I was too shocked.

Turtyturd

Optimalprimerib wrote: »

Or similar

"Hello"
"Not too bad, yourself?"

Along the same lines.

*Person at till hands you your food.

"Enjoy your meal."

"Yeah, you too."

8 Bit Girl

Once on a very wet miserable day like today I was walking out of a shop, one with a door you have to open yourself, none of those fancy automatic ones, when there was a lovely chap walking in.

He saw me coming out and very kindly held the door open for me. He was fairly good looking so I had planned on flashing him a big smile and say 'thank you!'

What actually happend was before I could even get the word 'thank' out, I slipped on the wet mat at the door and went flying! I ended up in some weird yoga/lunge/marriage proposal position in front of him on the ground
His smile had long disappeared at that stage and I ran back to the car and got the hell out of there!

Anytime I'm in that pub where that barman works I make an eejit out of myself. Shudder and cringe.

I finally got his name from having a bit of a chat on the way in. So we shake hands. Says I "oh your hands are lovely and warm".
Not the worst thing in the world but just ugh.

So I decided to add him on twitter even though I never use it and he doesn't seem to either. I just happened to find him. I wasn't stalking or anything!

Still. It's nice to feel like I'm 18 again

redbel05

Travelling by bus eireann to a part of the country I had never been before so asked the driver to give me a shout when my stop came.
Bus was fairly empty-ish so put up my knees on the back of the seat in front to get more comfy. Must have dosed off because i jump-woke with a snort to find the driver calling my stop and the bus jampacked. The guy who is now sitting beside me gets up to let me out, except somehow the buckle of my left boot has gotten caught up in the elastic netting on the back of the seat.
Ended up basically ripping the netting to get out, but when I thought I was free my foot caught in the strap of my bag sending me sprawling along the aisle. Just as the driver prepared to pull out since he thought nobody was getting off.


I also have the habit of giving people my left hand to shake. Shouldn't be let out in public ;D

Menas

Back in december I was at dublin airport. Went to the gents and all the urinals were busy so I took a cubicle. Closed the door behind me.
Dropped my jeans and boxers to my ankles and had a piddle standing up.

Just as I finished I realised that the lock on the door was not working and the door had swung open and I had been standing there with my bare ass exposed to the world.

Got some looks of absolute disgust from a few fellas as I left the bathroom.

messy tessy

Turtyturd wrote: »

Along the same lines.

*Person at till hands you your food.

"Enjoy your meal."

"Yeah, you too."

I have done that when leaving on holidays... "enjoy your break!" "same to yourself!" Its an automatic niceness response!!

esforum

All the time, most recently while having dinner with friends that includes a blind couple. The blibd husband remarked that they sometimes have a few joints before going out. Everyone looked at me and I for some stupid reason asked him if he drives afterwards!

Menas

Menas wrote: »

Back in december I was at dublin airport. Went to the gents and all the urinals were busy so I took a cubicle. Closed the door behind me.
Dropped my jeans and boxers to my ankles and had a piddle standing up.

Just as I finished I realised that the lock on the door was not working and the door had swung open and I had been standing there with my bare ass exposed to the world.

Got some looks of absolute disgust from a few fellas as I left the bathroom.

you know in some town pubs that's called a glory hole!!!

cowboyBuilder

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Calling your teacher 'Mammy'.

Worst sh*t that could happen to you.

That happened to me in F*CKING 6th YEAR !!!

It was my French teacher and I guess it was the M for Miss and I just said "Ma"

I just dropped my head down and waited for the eruption of laughter,
by some miracle nobody noticed it !!

I was lucky that it was noisy enough in the classroom and even though I pretty much shouted it, no one registered it ..

:o:o:o

cowboyBuilder

Adventagious wrote: »

Going to the counter at a coffee shop, order a hot drink.

Barista brews it up, lashes into a takeaway cup and leans forward to hand me the drink.

I reach out to take the cup out of their hand and...just....mash my fingers into the cup, knocking it onto the counter and spilling hot coffee everywhere. Barista is immediately confused and angry because it looked VERY like i intentionally slapped the coffee out of their hands and onto the counter.

Stammer out a "oh god i don't know how I did that i'm so sorry!" and barista says "it's fine, it's fine, i'll make you another no charge".

Mortified but grateful i wait for the new coffee to be done. Eventually barista gives me a smile and a nod and places the cup down on the counter so i can take it myself.

Flustered and nervous at this stage i say "thanks so much", try to maintain eye contact with barista and while reaching for the new coffee manage to mash my stupid fingers into the lid and knock it over. Coffee all over the still damp counter.

Face was very red. Don't even remember what i said at that stage, just had to scurry out of the shop and into a cave to die in shame forever.

I can never go back.

Ah Jaysus!!

I wanna see CCTV on that !

cowboyBuilder

smash wrote: »

Or saying love you as you hang up on some random girl from a call centre.

- but at least you can instantly escape from that one !!

Car99

I was at work doing a job in a large facilty and two people who I didn't know were having a conversation right beside me and I couldn't help but overhear it , anyways I was doing a tricky bit of my job and missed a bit of their conservation so turned around and said sorry I missed that bit....... The two of them just stared at me , all I could say was sorry don't mind me . I couldn't even leave I had to finish what I was doing.

Menas

Menas wrote: »

Back in december I was at dublin airport. Went to the gents and all the urinals were busy so I took a cubicle. Closed the door behind me.
Dropped my jeans and boxers to my ankles and had a piddle standing up.

Just as I finished I realised that the lock on the door was not working and the door had swung open and I had been standing there with my bare ass exposed to the world.

Got some looks of absolute disgust from a few fellas as I left the bathroom.

You're lucky you didn't get the hole lashed off you!

castletownman

On the toilet theme, I was at a wedding a few years ago and walked into the toilet straight to the first empty cubicle and started "the evacuation procedure". Job done and in the process of washing my hands I was wondering why there were no urinals in the spot. At that moment a woman emerges from the other cubicle and gets the fright of her life seeing a strange man using the women's WC.

Of course, the place started filling up as I was leaving, allowing more women to see the spectacle.

The soap was unlike anything I have experienced in the male jacks though

discus

castletownman wrote: »

On the toilet theme, I was at a wedding a few years ago and walked into the toilet straight to the first empty cubicle and started "the evacuation procedure". Job done and in the process of washing my hands I was wondering why there were no urinals in the spot. At that moment a woman emerges from the other cubicle and gets the fright of her life seeing a strange man using the women's WC.

Of course, the place started filling up as I was leaving, allowing more women to see the spectacle.

The soap was unlike anything I have experienced in the male jacks though

Did that at a pub in England before. Thing was, all the women were queuing up to get into the mens toilet and were acting like total idiots, so I decided to use their instead. No queue

BrianBoru00

West of Ireland funeral. . . Old woman died, Im friendly with the family of her only child "John". Head into funeral home, meet a couple of neighbours on the way out and engage in the awkward handshake of 6 or 7 people sitting that I don't know before arriving at who appeared to be the chief mourner standing with no one after her save maybe 5-6 grandchildren........

So to ensure I don't merely feel like an idiot, I blurt out so that everyone can hear "Wheres John" . . .She looks at me like I've two heads while still shaking my hand, then it dawns on her . "Oh you mean John Doe - They're having the removal from the house! . .
Cue groans of laughter from the grandkids while I hightailed out of their.
MORTO.

This funeral was of another woman from the same general area who I didn't know but hence the neighbours that I recognised.

To be fair, "John" doubled over laughing for about 5 minutes after I told him the story.

Cupcake_Crisis

I'm a master at putting my foot in my gob. Just last week I did it so badly that I made someone cry.

I have a friend who has two ferrets. She's mad about them, loves them to bits. One of them got very sick and was rushed to the vets. I heard no more about it. So she's over in mine for drinks and I go 'how's your ferret?' She looks at me with the saddest expression and tells me he died and starts crying, I feel feckin awful!!

About 30 minutes later another friends dog is chewing something he picked up off the floor, piece of paper of something, and my friend didn't grab it off him on time. So I blurt out 'ah if it didn't kill him it'll make him stronger'. Ferret friend looks at me and just says 'that wasn't really the right thing to say....'

Moral of the story is I'm a spa and canadians don't have a sense of humor.

Stheno

I was doing a presentation to some IT guys, and rather unusually there was a HR person also attending.

As part of the presentation I was talking about how some parts of the business are more important than others, so I used Finance as an example of an important business unit, and without thinking then said "Compare finance to HR, you could do without HR in most places for six months and you wouldn't miss them"

The entire room burst out laughing and I belatedly remembered I had a HR person in the room

And I'd to stay there another two hours and finish up the presentation.

Morto!

AnonoBoy

"Did you hear about Kevin's Mam?"
- Wha? That she's a sore hole from the riding I have her last night!???? :pac:
*Stunned silence*
"......she passed away this morning."


- So my cheeks would you say they're puce or violent red right now?

Stheno

Hmmm, this thread is proving a distraction from my studies and I was reminiscing on many presenting related booboos.

There was the time when I decided to plonk my ass down on the table my stuff was on, not realising it was a collapsible table, which did promptly collapse.

Then I've had numerous clothing mishaps

mfceiling

Sydney 2000, Macy Gray concert. First date with the now Mrs MF.

Paid top dollar for seated balcony seats. Concert starts and 2 gay lads in front instantly stand up and start whooping and dancing, blocking me and herself from seeing anything. After 3 songs it's obvious they're not for sitting. Up I get and tap the 2 lads on the shoulders. "Lads, it's seating only, i paid a fortune for these tickets and all I can see is the back of your heads. If you want to dance just go down to the dancing area downstairs"
Few people behind agree and I hear one "well said"

Just to add emphasis I let out a large "now".

What I forgot was that the seats were the old style cinema seats which went upright when you got up. I sat down and went head over shìte on to the floor!! Missus said she had to almost bite her cheek to stop laughing in my face.

rameire

walking into a church, for the funeral of an extended family member.
walk up to son of the deceased at the door, shake his hand and say
"Good to see you"

AnonoBoy

rameire wrote: »

walking into a church, for the funeral of an extended family member.
walk up to son of the deceased at the door, shake his hand and say
"Good to see you"

I've asked a recently bereaved person "How are you getting on?" at their own parents funeral on more than one occasion.

smash

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I've asked a recently bereaved person "How are you getting on?" at their own parents funeral on more than one occasion.

I'm guilty of something similar myself. Walk up to the top of the church, shake hands and say "hey, nice to see you again"

esforum

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I've asked a recently bereaved person "How are you getting on?" at their own parents funeral on more than one occasion.

"Ah yeah, hows it going?" to a person who is buryng their mother / father / etc. Think we have all been down that road.

I also found myself dragged into the front row at a funeral for a neighbour before, not even dressed remotely respectable for such a position and I was wearing a 24 blood pressure monitor. Every 15 minutes time for a random beeping sound from me followed by my sleeve inflating and deflating (always during a lull in the service of course). After the second beep I just walked down the aisle and out the door, couldnt take a 3rd one.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/0c/33/d5/0c33d545fbb1207b7dadc15832afa5a2.jpg

I've never embarrassed myself in public.

I certainly never called my boss daddy in a crowded meeting.

>_>
<_<

Peregrine

I embarrass easily but I haven't been in that many embarrassing situations that I can remember, touch wood.

Stheno

I'd a colleauge whose wife had the same name as me, but slightly different spelling.

Every time I rang him, it was "yes love"?

Dante

I have a knack for saying stupid things at the worst time possible, my worst was definitely while on J1 in Califonia a few years ago.

We got chatting to a group of German lads in the hostel on our first day and got onto the topic of Oktoberfest. I was telling them how I wanted to buy a pair of proper lederhosen and head over to Munich for it later that year. Unfortunately for me however I rather cleverly managed to mix up the word 'lederhosen' with 'lebenstraum' which, if you don't already know, was the code name for the Nazi invasion and butchery of Russia during WWII.

The most painfully awkward silence in the history of mankind quite quickly ensued...needless to say we didn't see much of ze Germans again.

cruais

While on teaching placement some years back, they had a walk on wednesday initiative, basically encouraging parents to leave the car at home and walk the kids to school. This extended to the teachers also. I always walked anyway.

Upon arriving to the school on a Wednesday morning, two of the teachers were standing at the gate with stickers to hand out to children who walked. The first teacher said
"Oh you walked cruais! Here, have a sticker!" She peeled it off.

I dunno what possessed me, I thought she was joking,started laughing and just walked off leaving her holding the sticker. Mortified for the rest of my placement.