NEW LONG TERM ILLNESS CHARTER (Discussion Thread)

Black Swan

Given that Long Term Illness has only one mod (robinph) when it should have 3, as category Cmod I've been asked to help until those vacancies have been filled.

Yesterday Boards Community Manager Dav closed our long running depression/anxiety thread due to a post that discussed self-harm or suicide by one of our members. Please see Dav's new thread stating the reasons why he acted, which also invites questions and comments: "The Depression/Anxiety Thread must change." I'd like to see the anxiety/depression thread continue, but with a few guidelines for posting that we can create here together.

A post like the one Dav acted upon was cause for me to review the existing Long Term Illness charter to see if it provided all the necessary guidelines for posting by members and visitors, as well as specifics for forum moderation. The purpose of the LTI forum appeared to be somewhat unclear, as well as missing detailed guidelines for some of the LTI threads, including, but not limited to depression/anxiety.

In this New LTI Charter discussion thread you have an opportunity to collaborate with each other and mod robinph towards creating a new LTI charter that covers the needs of our LTI community of members (while at the same time falling within the general site guidelines). I'll be your scribe, and help draft up the contents, style, format, etc., of the new charter for your review, comments, and revisions. I've written dozens of charters, some of which have lasted for years on boards across several categories, so hopefully you will find me useful in this process.

Where do we begin? How about "What is the purpose of the LTI forum?" It may appear at first obvious by the forum name, but how about a few details to aid our forum new members and visitors? Anyone want to write a line or two or three for the Purpose?

What are the forum do's and don't in terms of posting? I will offer an easy one for your consideration (below), but in addition to this, what else should be used as guidelines for the forum? Don't worry about your wording, grammar, sentence structure, spelling, etc., just throw some ideas out for us to think about and discuss. You can also comment on what others write too, as well as suggested revisions.

Here is one for your review:

Long Term Illness is subject to all the policies, practices, and guidelines contained within boards.ie FAQ and Terms of Use. These are the guidelines you agreed to when joining boards.ie.

getaroom

When your in a deep hole - your in a deep hole.
The need or the desire to vent can be every bit as important as the medication one takes for their mental illness. Its not easy to talk to a loved one, its not easy to phone the Samaritans etc. I found that if you can articulate how your feeling with others who have been or are going through a crisis (semi anonymously) it can lift your spirits or offer a little respite.

I have walked the garden, day and night fast pacing, chain smoking, jumping from thinking things in my head to shouting at my self. I have self harmed and considered suicide. I expressed as much on boards. Simply stating on boards that ones intention is to "end it all" does not necessarily mean that one intends carrying it out. Deleting a post from someone in distress is, in my opinion, the wrong thing to do. By doing this the Moderator is further isolating the Poster when all that's required is the support of their peers.

In summing up, I think its safe to say that I would be in a completely different place if it were not for this Forum.

Joya

Simply put, this forum needs a thread on depression and Anxiety, one way or another.

If Boards.ie cannot moderate the certain topics such as suicidal thoughts and self-harm then just write your rules and let people write on their other troubles.

"Every little helps"...

getaroom

getaroom wrote: »

When your in a deep hole - your in a deep hole.
The need or the desire to vent can be every bit as important as the medication one takes for their mental illness. Its not easy to talk to a loved one, its not easy to phone the Samaritans etc. I found that if you can articulate how your feeling with others who have been or are going through a crisis (semi anonymously) it can lift your spirits or offer a little respite.

I have self harmed and considered suicide. I expressed as much on boards. Simply stating on boards that ones intention is to "end it all" does not necessarily mean that one intends carrying it out. Deleting a post from someone in distress is, in my opinion, the wrong thing to do.

But how do the other poster's and mods know that you have no intention of carrying it out? Also think for a bit about how such an expression may leave other people feeling.

I see where you are coming from regarding the deletion of posts. But again think about the thread as a whole and the other poster's.

Hugo Stiglitz

For myself, I found the previous depression/anxiety thread a great place to discuss the illness as well as the fallout it can have on our lives. Sometimes I liked to just have a good moan on the thread.

Penny Tration

As a lurker, I thought the depression/anxiety thread was great for people to vent, but the suicidal ideation and self harm posts really got to me for two reasons -

1. Nobody here is qualified to help people who are suicidal. I've made no secret of my own mental health struggles on boards, and I totally understand the need to get these thoughts off one's chest because I've had these issues myself in the past, but people on boards can't help.

If someone posts and is suicidal or self harming, there's a very real risk that anything I or another user says in response could be the thing that triggers the ill person to do even more damage to themselves. We can listen, but if someone is so fragile that they're harming or suicidal, our responses can do much more harm than good. It's not safe for the members or the person seeking to talk.

2. Triggers. Any kind of graphic talk about self harm or suicidal ideation runs the risk of triggering other users who are struggling with self harm or suicidal ideation.

In short, I think posts about self injury or suicidal feelings are a danger for both the person posting and the people reading.


Aside from that, I think the charter is fine, more mods needed but Black Swan says that's being worked on.

trixychic

So.... is this the new thread??? I am all for the new rules by the way.

Just really want to start the discussion again.

Tell me how

trixychic wrote: »

So.... is this the new thread??? I am all for the new rules by the way.

Just really want to start the discussion again.

Don think that this is the new A&D Thread.

It's a discussion thread about what type of charter such a thread should be governed by.

trixychic

Tell me how wrote: »

Don think that this is the new A&D Thread.

It's a discussion thread about what type of charter such a thread should be governed by.

Ok thanks.

Joya

As I understood the OP, this is the thread in which we can suggest the rules for the new Depression and Anxiety thread that would be eventually opened, so that we may have it again, but within the abilities of Board's forum moderation e.g. professional skills to moderate topics that are on a higher health /life risk scale that do require a professional expertise and intervention.

She posed a question to formulate the purpose of the such newly opened thread.

So I have googled just that and found loads of useful information online from the professional organizations who do have this kind of forums so we may reuse some of their formulation such as:

• To talk openly about mental health and sharing stories of hope and recovery in order to help to reduce stigma and also to encourage people to seek professional support
• To promote good mental health and help create change to protect everyone’s mental health and improve the lives of individuals and their families and communities that are affected by anxiety and depression
• To (try to?) reduce the impact of depression and anxiety by supporting people to protect their mental health and to recover when they are unwell...

etc. just as for a start.

Joya

Also, just found this Disclaimer, that sounded very good to me so perhaps we can have here (in addition to general terms of use) a similarly formulated disclaimer (that could be along those lines):
http://www.depression-chat-rooms.org/depression-disclaimer.htm

Depression Disclaimer

DISCLAIMER AND TERMS OF SERVICE

If you are in crisis, or feeling suicidal, we strongly recommend you get in contact with a crisis line such as the Samaritans***, your doctor, therapist or a hospital immediately. You may also try searching our database for contact details in your Local Area, or, use a search engine to find emergency phone numbers by Clicking Here.

Depression Chat Rooms only promotes positive mental health. We cannot however be held liable as to how anyone reacts to any content found within this site, or to that of any external links this website hosts.

The website is moderated by a team that works diligently to ensure only suitable and appropriate material or conversation appears within the website or in our chat rooms. The moderation team are however only human – if something that is generally considered unacceptable (and contravenes our guidelines), appears briefly overlooked, please accept our apologies. We request that everyone reads all our guidelines in their entirety.

Depression Chat Rooms is not run by professionals, but is dependent on volunteers drawing solely upon their own personal experiences.

All sections of this website are used by you (as the user), at your own risk and without liability to us (the provider), in any manner.

If you would like to report any misuse of this site please Contact Us.

*** or link to this short list thread: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057178293

Joya

if that would be re-written to something like:

Depression & Anxiety Thread Disclaimer

DISCLAIMER AND TERMS OF SERVICE

If you are in crisis, or feeling suicidal, we strongly recommend you get in contact with some of the crisis lines such are listed here: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057178293, your doctor, therapist or a hospital immediately.

Depression & Anxiety Thread only promotes positive mental health.
We cannot however be held liable as to how anyone reacts to any content found within this thread, or to that of any external links this website hosts.

This thread is moderated by a team that works diligently to ensure only suitable and appropriate material or conversation appears within the website or in our chat rooms. The moderation team are however only human – if something that is generally considered unacceptable (and contravenes our guidelines), appears briefly overlooked, please accept our apologies. We do request that everyone reads all our guidelines in their entirety.

Please note that Depression & Anxiety thread is not run by professionals, but is dependent on volunteers drawing solely upon their own personal experiences.

All sections of this website are used by you (as the user), at your own risk and without liability to us (the provider), in any manner.

If you would like to report any misuse of this site please feel free to Contact Us.

I believe having a thread like this one would be beneficial for so many people and it would be missed and pity not to have it or to forbid having it.
Statistics of depression and suicide in a country as small as this one are devastating, imo.. it "hurts" to even think that almost 2 people take their own life every single day on this island..

S I hope we will not let close our eyes for this, and accept that we (as in Boards.ie - mods and users) can do maybe little, but please lets do as much as we can, no matter how small. I hope to see the thread with clear guidelines reopened any time soon. and thanks....

Black Swan

trixychic wrote: »

So.... is this the new thread??? I am all for the new rules by the way.

Just really want to start the discussion again.

This is not the new depression/anxiety thread, rather it is for discussing the creation of a new Long Term Illness charter that will include more specific guidelines for such threads that may occur in the forum, including the depression/anxiety thread. Without more specific guidelines which we can collaboratively make here together, Admin may not allow the depression/anxiety thread to continue. I would like to see the depression/anxiety thread continue, and am here to help in any way that I can. So let's continue to discuss specific charter guidelines like Joya has thus far, and in a bit we will have a new charter.

Hugo Stiglitz

Good work, Joya!

Gremlinertia

Ok i've just been pointed to this and i agree it has been rough at times. With my current course of treatment in the group part we are extremely careful not to be graphic about things that will hurt or trigger others, mainly this comes down to various forms of self harm that would be upsetting for others.. Personally i don't agree with discussing the ins and outs of it as (remember, my opinion) discussing it can make others curious and/or normalise it enough for others..

Without doubt i would not be where i am were it not for the threads over the years, from lurking to gathering the bravery to post to becoming a sometime support to others here while often bursting in with a whinge or rant..

Suggestion - if editing existing charter remind posters that if they feel like something needs a trigger warning, don't post it, think about it for a while. Some of us just boil over and type what spills out of our heads. If there was a possibility of making a sticky that appears at the top of each page like the DRP forum as a reminder for a while perhaps?the sake of us regulars that the thread remains and i'll always be available to give input.

I hope for

Gremlinertia

Ok i've just been pointed to this and i agree it has been rough at times. With my current course of treatment in the group part we are extremely careful not to be graphic about things that will hurt or trigger others, mainly this comes down to various forms of self harm that would be upsetting for others.. Personally i don't agree with discussing the ins and outs of it as (remember, my opinion) discussing it can make others curious and/or normalise it enough for others..

Without doubt i would not be where i am were it not for the threads over the years, from lurking to gathering the bravery to post to becoming a sometime support to others here while often bursting in with a whinge or rant..

Suggestion - if editing existing charter remind posters that if they feel like something needs a trigger warning, don't post it, think about it for a while. Some of us just boil over and type what spills out of our heads. If there was a possibility of making a sticky that appears at the top of each page like the DRP forum as a reminder for a while perhaps? I hope for the sake of us regulars that the thread remains and i'll always be available to give input.

bridgettedon

I suppose it could be that the thread encourages people to talk about their feelings rather than the behaviour. I don't self harm so I'm just throwing that out there. However I was reading the thread during a low time and did consider maybe this self harm thing may have its uses. My behaviour is my responsibility so I'm not blaming other posters or boards. I didnt self harm but there's two sides to every story and that just is my side. Vulnerable people do post in this thread who may not self harm but seeing talk about it can be difficult to ignore. Spoliers could be used but then I think boards users aren't equipped to deal with another person's self harm or suicidal urges. I know I'm not.

Gremlinertia

It's a very delicate subjest within the wider remit of depression and anxiety, it's incredibly difficult to mention, let alone discuss. Generally if i've had any issues that i feel would make others uncomfortable or trigger them i just use a catch all term like 'this last week was difficult' or something similar. Logic doesn't always apply when a boardsie is distressed, hence my previous suggestion of a brief run through of the rules stickied to the top of each page if that's possible.. I for one would be lost without my little community here..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I for one would be lost without my little community here..

Me too, Grem. I'd imagine every single poster in the thread would feel exactly the same.

Black Swan

Grand suggestions for our new charter guys. Please keep them coming!

bridgettedon

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It's a very delicate subjest within the wider remit of depression and anxiety, it's incredibly difficult to mention, let alone discuss. Generally if i've had any issues that i feel would make others uncomfortable or trigger them i just use a catch all term like 'this last week was difficult' or something similar. Logic doesn't always apply when a boardsie is distressed, hence my previous suggestion of a brief run through of the rules stickied to the top of each page if that's possible.. I for one would be lost without my little community here..

A brief run through would be useful actually.

I don't want to come across as saying no self harm or suicidal talk should be discussed. It's easy for me to say that as I don't suffer from it.

However, this is just speaking generally, from that thread I and others could spend numerous attempts trying to distract a person from self harm. For all I know my posts may actually be making the situation worse. I can see where the mods think it could be counterproductive.

I have no problem with a person saying that they had a difficult week as that is a blanket term and can mean a number of things. I also have no issue mentioing they self harmed yesterday or last week. It's more when they are in a current crises and they want to do it, I think they could get more help elsewhere.

I probably even discuss death myself and wish my life is over. I will also reconsider saying such things.

This thread did help me loads in my worst moments.

mynameis905

Is there anything to be said for making a separate depression/anxiety forum and allowing access only by request, like the online dating forum for example?

For what it's worth though, suicide and self-harm are common enough with depression. Shutting down all discussion on these topics comes across as a bit of a cop out from Boards. It's a fine line and a tough one to moderate but if someone mentions that they've self harmed or considered suicide they shouldn't have their posts deleted or edited. I also don't believe that people should have to self-censor their posts or that we should shy away from discussing difficult and painful topics. I would agree that discussing the details of the self-harming or the likes of suicide methods should not be tolerated.

The long running joke on other forums is that the Boards tagline should be changed from "Now ye're talking" to "shut up that's too controversial". Might sound a little over the top but at times like this I do find myself wondering if it's not a million miles away from the truth.

Juxtapose

mynameis905 wrote: »

Is there anything to be said for making a separate depression/anxiety forum and allowing access only by request, like the online dating forum for example?

For what it's worth though, suicide and self-harm are common enough with depression. Shutting down all discussion on these topics comes across as a bit of a cop out from Boards. It's a fine line and a tough one to moderate but if someone mentions that they've self harmed or considered suicide they shouldn't have their posts deleted or edited. I also don't believe that people should have to self-censor their posts or that we should shy away from discussing difficult and painful topics. I would agree that discussing the details of the self-harming or the likes of suicide methods should not be tolerated.

The long running joke on other forums is that the Boards tagline should be changed from "Now ye're talking" to "shut up that's too controversial". Might sound a little over the top but at times like this I do find myself wondering if it's not a million miles away from the truth.

Well said.

getaroom

Someone with no experience of selfharm /suicide idealizations censoring some one whos going through a rough patch is wrong.
If you havent been there you wont understand the thought process behind it.

If you dont understand the process behind it, how can you judgmental about it?

getaroom

Someone with no experience of selfharm /suicide idealizations censoring some one whos going through a rough patch is wrong.
If you havent been there you wont understand the thought process behind it.

If you dont understand the process behind it, how can you judgmental about it?

Tell me how

getaroom wrote:

Someone with no experience of selfharm /suicide idealizations censoring some one whos going through a rough patch is wrong. If you havent been there you wont understand the thought process behind it.

getaroom wrote:

If you dont understand the process behind it, how can you judgmental about it?

Yes but unless mods have experiences then this will likely be the case. Unless maybe a professional in the field who hasn't personal issues which might be stoked by having to get involved in that capacity.

A forum without mods will not work.

To be fair to Boards they have consulted with professionals to try to ascertain the best method to have such a forum but with adequate guidelines and monitoring.

Those of us who are sufferers can't dictate to those that provide a free forum that it has to be our way.

bridgettedon

getaroom wrote: »

Someone with no experience of selfharm /suicide idealizations censoring some one whos going through a rough patch is wrong.
If you havent been there you wont understand the thought process behind it.

If you dont understand the process behind it, how can you judgmental about it?

Is it possible to talk about the thought processes without talking about the behaviour which is self harm/suicide in this case.

getaroom

getaroom wrote: »

Someone with no experience of selfharm /suicide idealizations censoring some one whos going through a rough patch is wrong.
If you havent been there you wont understand the thought process behind it.

If you dont understand the process behind it, how can you judgmental about it?

I disagree. Empathy is a very human trait. Not everyone possesses the same degree of it but going by the posts of the admins and mods on this discussion they appear to be at the upper end of the scale.

Never assume. It is possible that those who have the final say on the thread and the people who will mod it know exactly what it's like to feel as you describe.

Also I don't believe anyone is being judgemental. Instead people are trying to keep not only you safe, but also readers of the thread and boards as a private company.

getaroom

I'll just pose two situations , thinking out loud as it were..

Poster posts " Im in a bad place I know what I have to do and Im going to do it" then closes their account.


Poster posts "Im in a bad place so I'm going to scratch myself until I bleed"

How would a prospective moderator deal with the above in a "new and improved thread"

getaroom

'

getaroom

getaroom wrote: »

I'll just pose two situations , thinking out loud as it were..

Poster posts " Im in a bad place I know what I have to do and Im going to do it" then closes their account.


Poster posts "Im in a bad place so I'm going to scratch myself until I bleed"

How would a prospective moderator deal with the above in a "new and improved thread"

Firstly I think it needs to clearly state in the charter that posts of suicidal ideation and/or attempts as well as instances of self-harm are out of bounds.

If a poster still posts on the subject then a mod should step in and in a compassionate manner explain that it is beyond the resources of boards to handle such a situation and that it may also prove triggering for other poster's. They should also direct the poster to the supports which could be a help, Samaritans for example.

Tell me how

I think this is where a lot of the posters feel they benefit from being able to discuss ideation, to some degree. It's difficult to discuss this without personal experience contribution.

I do think that discussions about attempts, historical or intended should be curtailed as much as possible.

A thread on the topic where you can't discuss the limits of it would be heavily diluted in effectiveness. In my opinion.

Tell me how

Tell me how wrote: »

I think this is where a lot of the posters feel they benefit from being able to discuss ideation, to some degree. It's difficult to discuss this without personal experience contribution.

I do think that discussions about attempts, historical or intended should not be curtailed as much as possible.

A thread on the topic where you can't discuss the limits of it would be heavily diluted in effectiveness. In my opinion.

Personally I understand the need to post about what you're going through. All of it. To just get it out of you even if it's just on to a screen.
Professionally I believe boards would be acting irresponsibly if they allowed posts of that nature. Again it is a discussion forum. Not a mental health provider.

There is to much potential for triggering to happen or for posters to not engage with their services because it's far easier to post on a thread. Then you have those who will manipulate others feelings. Also attention seekers. How will you decipher those different types of individuals from each other?

Tell me how

Deleted User wrote:

They should also direct the poster to the supports which could be a help, Samaritans for example.

Can I just comment on this.

I turned to the A&D thread after feeling I had exhausted what services the Samaritans could offer. On their website where they have testimonies they list several examples of success all (at that time) of people who hadn't turned to anyone and once they made the call things started to improve. There was no testimony from anyone who had been suffering "and" getting treatment for several years. I had used them previously but in that moment I just couldn't listen to someone asking "how long did I feel this way" or telling me "I wasn't alone" I knew all that. The thread is the only place where I find people speak the language of Depression as I know it. I don't sayvtgat lightly.

Services like the Samaritans have a hugely important place but so too does a thread such as this.

Sorry for bringing my personal story in to this to this extent but I felt I needed to explain that for some, being told to go contact the Samaritans is like being told "you'll be grand".

Tell me how

Deleted User wrote:

Again it is a discussion forum. Not a mental health provider.

Again. No one is suggesting it is a mental health provider.

Penny Tration

getaroom wrote: »

Someone with no experience of selfharm /suicide idealizations censoring some one whos going through a rough patch is wrong.
If you havent been there you wont understand the thought process behind it.

If you dont understand the process behind it, how can you judgmental about it?

How do you know the people censoring the posts haven't had any experience with it, though?

I've agreed with the decision to not allow these posts and I have plenty of experience of both suicidal ideation and self harm, and have the scars to prove it.

But it's about protecting ALL members.

When someone is suicidal, they're not thinking totally rationally and are likely to be triggered by any small thing they perceive as a slight. People that aren't professionals responding to this is dangerous to the suicidal person, seriously dangerous.

That aside, other members need to be protected. A person even commented that they considered harming after reading that thread, despite having never done it before. I first harmed after reading loads of posts about it on another site years and years ago. The discussion of the feelings that come after self harm (I'm being deliberately vague here) can make other vulnerable people see it as an option to feel better temporarily.

It's dangerous to allow discussion on suicide and self harm, to those posting and those responding and reading.

the thread is a wonderful source of support and it should definitely continue, but without the risk of harming people.

Kurtosis

As an outside observer, this forum is undoubtedly a very valuable resource and I think it's a great idea to more clearly outline what this forum is for and to give some guidance on how to participate in the community here. The current charter was probably written at a time when the forum was a bit of a different beast and to address different challenges.

As posed by Black Swan, my suggestion of a purpose for the LTI forum would be to allow posters to engage with others, to share information and experiences about Long Term Illnesses in a supportive environment. It should play a complementary role in helping people manage and treat their conditions.

Like others have suggested, I think it should be made clear in the charter that the forum should not be a substitute to health providers.

With regards to a few do/don't points which may be helpful to incorporate in some form -

Do:
Post constructively, respectfully and be mindful of other posters.
Report any posts which you feel may contravene the charter.

Don't:
Ask for or impart medical advice.

All of the above I feel would apply to the forum in general i.e. encompassing all types of long term illnesses the forum caters for. Specifically on the Depression/anxiety thread, I would agree with others that discussion of suicide and self-harm should not be permitted. No one is qualified to manage such situations effectively on boards as a platform. Considering the pros and cons of permitting such discussion. It may provide a benefit for the poster involved in terms of venting, however this isn't a vacuum - posts have an impact and potentially may cause harm to other users on the forum, through normalising such behaviour or triggering ideation in others. It also has potential to harm the user posting as they may resort to relying on the thread instead of seeking professional assistance.

I agree with the suggestion to state in the charter how such posts will be dealt with (i.e. edited and replaced with supportive information) so that if this does happen a poster does not feel victimised.

Gremlinertia

My two cent - i have a long history when it comes to self harm of various types. Open discussion of some types can make it too normal/acceptable to me and i have battled hard to overcome some of the more dangerous things i have engaged in over the years. There are sites that allow for this sort of conversation and i have looked in some of my darker times, i can see how easily i'd go over the edge again.
However this is still incredibly tricky as terminology is key. Everyone should be able to share their struggle, the thread is a rant, discussion and support space that has been virtually without moderation intervention over the years. Not having witnessed whatever went on to get the thread deleted i can't really say much other than it must have been very severe to warrant the action it did. I hope the thread is re-instated as soon as possible as i miss it already. I think it's a very worthwhile thread and this incident just needs to serve as a reminder to people to be sensitive to others.. Hugs to all having a hard time with this, from the mods who are trying to figure out what to do to those who are feeling a bit homeless without the thread..

Gremlinertia

My two cent - i have a long history when it comes to self harm of various types. Open discussion of some types can make it too normal/acceptable to me and i have battled hard to overcome some of the more dangerous things i have engaged in over the years. There are sites that allow for this sort of conversation and i have looked in some of my darker times, i can see how easily i'd go over the edge again.
However this is still incredibly tricky as terminology is key. Everyone should be able to share their struggle, the thread is a rant, discussion and support space that has been virtually without moderation intervention over the years. Not having witnessed whatever went on to get the thread deleted i can't really say much other than it must have been very severe to warrant the action it did. I hope the thread is re-instated as soon as possible as i miss it already. I think it's a very worthwhile thread and this incident just needs to serve as a reminder to people to be sensitive to others.. Hugs to all having a hard time with this, from the mods who are trying to figure out what to do to those who are feeling a bit homeless without the thread..

Tell me how

Tell me how wrote: »

Sorry for bringing my personal story in to this to this extent but I felt I needed to explain that for some, being told to go contact the Samaritans is like being told "you'll be grand".

I take your point Tmh. Perhaps I can expand a little on my post. So if a mod were to step in their response may go a little like this:

Hi Xxxx
It is obvious from your post that you are in distress. I can imagine this is a very difficult time for you. If you would take a look at our charter we have stated that any mention of intending to commit suicide or engage in self harm is not allowed.

I do appreciate the position you are in at this time however for the safety of you and our other users I must ask you to refrain from posting about the above issues. In the sticky at the top of the page you will find a number of supports and services which are in a better position to help you than we are. This list includes turn2me.org and Pieta House.

Best of luck to you Xxxx

Penny Tration

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I take your point Tmh. Perhaps I can expand a little on my post. So if a mod were to step in their response may go a little like this:

Hi Xxxx
It is obvious from your post that you are in distress. I can imagine this is a very difficult time for you. If you would take a look at our charter we have stated that any mention of intending to commit suicide or engage in self harm is not allowed. This isn't to upset anyone, it's to protect you.

I do appreciate the position you are in at this time however for the safety of you and our other users I must ask you to refrain from posting about the above issues. In the sticky at the top of the page you will find a number of supports and services which are in a better position to help you than we are. This list includes turn2me.org and Pieta House.

Best of luck to you Xxxx

I'd add in the bit I've put in bold, so it doesn't sound like a reprimand

Penny Tration

Penny Tration wrote: »

I'd add in the bit I've put in bold, so it doesn't sound like a reprimand

That's a good idea Penny. It was a bit reprimand like alright.

Penny Tration

[Deleted User] wrote: »

That's a good idea Penny. It was a bit reprimand like alright.

I don't think it was at all, I was just trying to imagine how it'd read to me if I were still in a bad frame of mind, and I'd probably take it the wrong way.

Penny Tration

Penny Tration wrote: »

I don't think it was at all, I was just trying to imagine how it'd read to me if I were still in a bad frame of mind, and I'd probably take it the wrong way.

Absolutely. We are often at our most sensitive when we are in a bad place. Particularly if a poster has huge issues around rejection and abandonment.

trixychic

I must say I can totally see where the mods are coming from. While they can be empathetic and sypathetic they may have never been in the situation themselves and it can be difficult to know what way to go.

Even for myself (who was in those situations years back) can find it scary and worrying to see someones post about their thoughts of suicide or sf. It's hard to tell the right way to go with what to say and how to support the person.

I don't think this is a cop out but more protection for all involved. If (God forbid) a poster came on talkog about suicide and didn't get the correct support on the thread and went ahead with it, it could do more harm then good to everyone.

Penny Tration

trixychic wrote: »

I must say I can totally see where the mods are coming from. While they can be empathetic and sypathetic they may have never been in the situation themselves and it can be difficult to know what way to go.

Even for myself (who was in those situations years back) can find it scary and worrying to see someones post about their thoughts of suicide or sf. It's hard to tell the right way to go with what to say and how to support the person.

I don't think this is a cop out but more protection for all involved. If (God forbid) a poster came on talkog about suicide and didn't get the correct support on the thread and went ahead with it, it could do more harm then good to everyone.

tbh, I think even those of us, like me, who have been there would struggle massively to know what to say.

It's a hugely delicate topic and the smallest perceived slight can have devastating consequences, which is why we have professionals to talk with.

I think if someone is depressed but not harming or contemplating suicide, talking here is fantastic. I know in my bad moments, having my sister or boyfriend to talk to helps me as much as any therapist. but when I was in my worst stage, talking didn't help, I needed intensive therapy with someone who knew what to say, and I think even if we've been in that position, we simply aren't in the position to know what to say because we don't all feel the same way at that stage.

La.de.da

Can totally see where mods have issues here.

A person ranting about suicidal thoughts/ self harm ect may be off loading for them but to another vulnerable soul can be highly triggering.

In general terms I think it's fine to talk about how you're feeling but there needs to be a cut off point where professional help is needed not an on line forum.

getaroom

It was good while it lasted

La.de.da

More moderators ( which I am aware is being worked on)

Possibly setting LTI to a private category? ?? I feel this would be a good option. There maybe it would be easier for mods to oversee.

Just two ideas.

Joya

thumbs up for more mods for a topic as important as this.

Tell me how

getaroom wrote:

It was good while it lasted

Does feel like it's gone now. Back to Google search and 10 ways to beat depression.