Living with MIL - Tensions rising

loveisdivine

So we had to move back in with my MIL. We were renting but the landlord decided to sell and we thought we would use the opportunity to add to our savings and live with MIL for a while then buy our own house. We have been here 6 months and hope to only be here another 6 months.

We knew it would be a big change and not exactly fun but to be honest it's not been quite as bad as we expected (well until recently). Yes, she does things that drive us bonkers, she can be very rude and sometimes we want to scream into our pillows but we keep it to ourselves. We know that it's only temporary so we just try and get on with it.

MIL however seems to be struggling more than us! I should note that when we first lived with her 6 years ago (before renting) she threw a tantrum when we said we were moving out and desperately didn't want us to leave. She was always very welcoming about us coming back.

The conditions are that we don't need to pay her rent but we buy all the food and do the cooking. That's fine. However, lately, she has started making lots of negative comments about our presence and has ceased doing any of the chores she was originally doing.

She keeps moaning at us that she's not used to "living like this" which I believe is in reference to us taking up one of the spare rooms with our stuff and also our cat! She criticizes and makes sarcastic comments about everything we do. I sewed a santa jacket for our cat (:o) and she called me pathetic. She makes negative comments about my appearance all the time, either I look scruffy or I need to comb/cut my hair! (I'm 29 and my husband is 30, we decide how to wear our hair!) I could turn round and say " We'll you're obese and need to improve your hygiene" but I don't because I'm not mean.

She used to do the washing up after we cooked dinner, but now she has stopped bothering. She doesn't hoover or clean the bathroom or do any housework of any kind. The only job she does is put the clothes washing on and every time she does it she makes a point of saying "I did all your washing" like it's some kind of achievement.

I appreciate that she is letting us live in her house and that it is difficult for her. But it's also difficult for us too, we aren't used to living out of a bedroom and generally living in someone else's house. But the difference is we just get on with it, I guess I think it's a bit mean for her to say these things. We can't really do a lot to change them and she was more than happy to have us back.

ibarelycare

Move out.

I think moving out is your only option here OP, life is too short for this.

silverharp

Just have a talk with her at a quiet time and open with ...it seems like you don't want us here or can't cope with us being here anymore, would you like us to move out?
And see what she says. It might come down to simple things like letting her have the living room free at certain times. You can always do your laundry out or other things to reduce the amount of tripping over each other.

HelgaWard

You are living in her house rent free and you have brought your pet and are taking up more than just one room. Cooking & cleaning is the least you should be doing for her!! It's her house, she's the boss, if you don't like it move out.

loveisdivine

agh I know! The whole point of us being there is to save as much as possible. We don't want to move back out and start paying €1000 or more again, plus the hassle of moving for what would only be a few months.

To be honest I can cope with all the annoying things, it's the comments I can't stand. I just found it really upsetting that she couldn't see how its hard for us to. I would never complain to her about how difficult it is living with her!

To be honest she has a tendency to say whatever she want's and then forget about it, without realising that words have consequences. She does it a lot but this time it just feels worse, not sure why.

Edit - We spend most free time in our room, so we don't intrude on her living space. She also knew all these things when she welcomed us with open arms.
I don;t really mind doing all the chores, but I'm not gonna do everything and then still have to listen to her complain about us being there.

loveisdivine

HelgaWard wrote: »

You are living in her house rent free and you have brought your pet and are taking up more than just one room. Cooking & cleaning is the least you should be doing for her!! It's her house, she's the boss, if you don't like it move out.

So just because somebody lives under your roof, its ok to criticise their appearance, call them pathetic and complain about them being there?

HelgaWard

loveisdivine wrote: »

So just because somebody lives under your roof, its ok to criticise their appearance, call them pathetic and complain about them being there?

No it's not ok for her to speak to them badly, but it is ok for her to expect them to do the cooking & cleaning.

LegacyUser

The whole point of us being there is to save as much as possible. We don't want to move back out and start paying €1000 or more again, plus the hassle of moving for what would only be a few months.

So the whole point of you being there is to benefit yourselves. You don't have to be there. You want to be there because you don't want the hassle of moving out and you don't want to pay rent. Your mother-in-law is rude to you. But you are taking advantage of her house for your own gain.

The arrangements is no longer working. Move out, or bite your tongue for however long more you stay there, and risk irreparably destroying the relationship between you all.

Neyite

You know, I'd be inclined to say that while you are there and she is saving you a fortune in rent, that as a thank you to her, she should not have to lift a finger for housework. Cooking dinner is a one-man job. Dishes can be a two-man job. So why are two of you cooking, leaving the washing and drying of dishes all to her? You both are getting a great deal out of this arrangement, and saving a heap of money, but what is she getting out of this? Maybe she feels her home has been taken over and she's got no personal space any more and misses that.

Once the division of benefits of this arrangements is fairer, then you can address her comments, which I do agree are not nice to hear. All you have to do is nicely point out to her that what she said was not very nice, and that you don't criticise her, even though you could.

SAMTALK

HelgaWard wrote: »

No it's not ok for her to speak to them badly, but it is ok for her to expect them to do the cooking & cleaning.

To be fair OP doesnt have a problem with cooking & cleaning as such. Its more about the way she speaks to them and rent free or not she shouldnt speak to them that way

loveisdivine

We could move out right now, but to be honest we can't afford anywhere in the area we work. Plus MIL was one of the people that agreed it made more sense to stay with her and save some money.

I think it's unfair to say that she is getting nothing out of this arrangement. She lives on her own in a 4 bedroom house and had always said she would be glad to have the company of us being there. She doesn't drive so she also now has 2 cars and drivers at her disposal and believe me we are used as a taxi service most of the time. If we dare say we can't drive her somewhere she throws a tantrum.

She absolutely loathes cooking, that's why she would rather us buy food and cook than pay rent. So that's a pretty big plus on her side too. Like I said we do about 90% of all the household chores. When she comes home from work, she has her dinner handed to her and doesn't have to move from the sofa. The only thing she did was wash some pots, but it's clear that most people think she shouldn't even have to do that.

We do the shopping, cook, hoover, dust, mop, clean the bathrooms, clean the kitchen and make her bed. I don't think we are taking advantage at all. I appreciate what she is doing for us, I just think we don't need to be reminded of her sacrifice constantly in the form of complaints and nasty comments.

I don't really know what else we can do! We could rent a larger storage unit and move the stuff out of the spare room, so that she has 2 spare rooms at her disposal. But to be honest I hadn't realised having multiple spare rooms available was such an issue.

Sunny Dayz

OP have you started house hunting yet? I know you are saving but have you made any queries in relation to getting a mortgage or gone to view houses? Mortgage approval takes time. Viewing houses, finding the right one and even getting to the sale agreed stage takes time and all the legalities after can again take more time. If you are planning on moving out in only a few months, you would really want to be in the buying process by now.


OP I'm guessing your MIL lived on her own before ye moved in. She probably had her own routine, her own ways. As much as it is still her home, I'd imagine she just can't relax as she used to and I'm guessing it's taking its toll on her now. Also please bear in mind that she has gone from (I'm assuming) a 1 person household to a 3 person household. There's a lot more cleaning involved there. Also OP I'm assuming that even though you are not paying rent, you are contributing towards the bills.

Neyite

Ah ok, bit of a martyr thing going on too then. She could be having a bit of a moan and losing the run of herself.

People who live alone tend to get set in their ways. I know one and she loves to see all the family landing in on top of her, always saying she loves company and gets lonely, but after a couple of weeks you can see it start to grate, because she is thrown out of her little routine that is by default a selfish one.

Could your partner talk to her about her comments or would that inflame the situation? What if he told her that you both are finding it just as difficult, with comments and so on and that it doesn't seem to be working so you are going to work on moving out earlier than you had planned for the sake of maintaining family harmony. You might find that if she's just being a moaner and on balance she does like having your company in the house, that she'll cop on.

But I think it needs to be him as her son primarily to tackle her rather than you. If you do it, chances are it will never be forgotten or forgiven, whereas if he does it, it will blow over in time.

SAMTALK

loveisdivine wrote: »

We could move out right now, but to be honest we can't afford anywhere in the area we work. Plus MIL was one of the people that agreed it made more sense to stay with her and save some money.

I think it's unfair to say that she is getting nothing out of this arrangement. She lives on her own in a 4 bedroom house and had always said she would be glad to have the company of us being there. She doesn't drive so she also now has 2 cars and drivers at her disposal and believe me we are used as a taxi service most of the time. If we dare say we can't drive her somewhere she throws a tantrum.

She absolutely loathes cooking, that's why she would rather us buy food and cook than pay rent. So that's a pretty big plus on her side too. Like I said we do about 90% of all the household chores. When she comes home from work, she has her dinner handed to her and doesn't have to move from the sofa. The only thing she did was wash some pots, but it's clear that most people think she shouldn't even have to do that.

We do the shopping, cook, hoover, dust, mop, clean the bathrooms, clean the kitchen and make her bed. I don't think we are taking advantage at all. I appreciate what she is doing for us, I just think we don't need to be reminded of her sacrifice constantly in the form of complaints and nasty comments.

I don't really know what else we can do! We could rent a larger storage unit and move the stuff out of the spare room, so that she has 2 spare rooms at her disposal. But to be honest I hadn't realised having multiple spare rooms available was such an issue.

Ah come on.............. You make her bed??? Surely she's taking the mick at this stage.

loveisdivine

To answer a few questions,

Sunny dayz - My partner took a very handsome redundancy and then got another job, we have to wait 6 months for him to be in the job before we can apply for a mortgage, so we another 4 months to wait. Trust me, if we could get the ball rolling sooner we would.
I realise it's a lot more cleaning, that's why I do it all! Although to be honest she's never really cleaned her house properly at all. The new hoover she bought 2 years ago has sat in the box ever since and when she does wash pots she uses cold water and they are always still dirty! So maybe it's a good thing she stopped doing them after all

I do understand that she's lost her routine and has 2 "imposters" so to speak, which is why I'd never complain to her about the things that annoy me. But it's also very hard for us to go from living in our own house, to basically living in one room. My point is that its hard for everyone involved so I don't think there's a need for comments, I thought she realised that but obviously not.

Apparently she doesn't like putting the quilt cover on, so my husband does it all for her.

I think when she made the complaints about us being there my husband was a bit taken a back so didn't really say anything to her at the time. She isn't really the sort of person you can sit down and have a chat with, she takes it very personally and throws tantrums. She actually cried once when my husband wouldn't help her with something on her phone!

What I might do is tell her that I'm going to enquire about paying for a bigger storage locker so we can move the stuff out of the spare room. See if that makes any difference. That will at least let her know that we are taking her complaints seriously.

I suppose all else we can really do is grin and bear it.

CaraMay

Let your husband do all the talking. Maybe does annoyed because you spend do much time in your room. She probably expected you to keep her company.

crkball6

You move into someone else home, put them out don't pay any rent and complain about them?

Right at 29 you can wear your hair any way you want and make all the coats for the cats you want. Move out pay rent in your own house and do everything you want and leave the poor woman alone.

Idle Passerby

Id read it thats shes become frustrated with the arrangement and is being passive agressive rather than just ask you to move out. Its not nice or the right way fof her to handle it, but at the end of the day its her house, she owes you nothing.
Id be wary that she's getting used to being tidied up after and cooked for and when you do finally move out shel complain that shes being neglected.
Its frustrating for everyone. Regardless of whose right and whose wrong tensions will only continue to rise until you have a place of your own.

loveisdivine

crkball6 wrote: »

You move into someone else home, put them out don't pay any rent and complain about them?

Right at 29 you can wear your hair any way you want and make all the coats for the cats you want. Move out pay rent in your own house and do everything you want and leave the poor woman alone.

Did you actually read any of my subsequent posts? The ones detailing everything we do in return for living there? I can't imagine you did otherwise you wouldn't have said something so far off the mark.

loveisdivine

Idle Passerby wrote: »

Id read it thats shes become frustrated with the arrangement and is being passive agressive rather than just ask you to move out. Its not nice or the right way fof her to handle it, but at the end of the day its her house, she owes you nothing.
Id be wary that she's getting used to being tidied up after and cooked for and when you do finally move out shel complain that shes being neglected.
Its frustrating for everyone. Regardless of whose right and whose wrong tensions will only continue to rise until you have a place of your own.

Yes I think you're right. I totally didn't expect it though. When I first moved to Ireland I lived with my husband at MIL's for about a year and when we told her we were going to move out she was distraught. She cried numerous times over the course of the next week and accused my husband of abandoning her. She was so welcoming when we asked if we could come back for a bit, she thought it was the best idea and made sense and was looking forward to having us there. So I totally wasn't expecting her to feel this way.

crkball6

loveisdivine wrote: »

Did you actually read any of my subsequent posts? The ones detailing everything we do in return for living there? I can't imagine you did otherwise you wouldn't have said something so far off the mark.

I read it, It's irrelevant. It's not your home, it's not rented accommodation.

If you don't like it, Move out and you can make all the cat coats you like without any judgment.

CaraMay

loveisdivine wrote: »

Did you actually read any of my subsequent posts? The ones detailing everything we do in return for living there? I can't imagine you did otherwise you wouldn't have said something so far off the mark.

But what quality time do ye spend with her? I suspect she wanted ye there got company and is annoyed because she's nit getting that.

iusedtoknow

This is a tough one.

But bluntly...suck it up or move out. You are the ones that are winning out of this arrangement. Saving a ton every month (on rent and utilities) is nothing to be sniffed at. Your MIL in the meantime has had her house and life disrupted because it was a convenient for you to move in (and it will be convenient for you to move out in 6 months). If anything, I kind of think that you are the ones taking advantage of her and not the other way round

In the meantime, make some changes - cooking and washing up is literally a one person job. So is cleaning if you're being honest. And when you have your own place, you'll be doing 100% of it. Perhaps stop making her bed - and take care of all the common areas as you (being 2/3 of the occupants) are the ones that are taking up the most space.

If this was a flatmate situation, then obviously everything should be split...but it's not. If you can't deal with it then you'll have to move out.

MissFlitworth

Do you spend time with her as well as in your room? Like to hang out with her and act like housemates/friends as well as cooking & cleaning then getting out of her way as soon as possible. Otherwise it could feel a little like you're just taking advantage of her for a free place to stay. I know some people in a similar situation and through trying to stay out from under the homeowners feet they ended up making them feel a bit used & rubbish.

Apart from that, ask her what you can do to make things easier for her. 6 years is a long, long time and people can change a lot so she might have thought she'd enjoy having you in the house more than she does.

Being super nice to her might help too, she's saving you an utter fortune so could cheer her up if you turned some of that into a holiday or some gifts.

HelgaWard

She sounds like a creature of habit. Initially she was used to living with people (your other half and then you both) she was upset at the thoughts of this changing when you moved out the first time. She then probably got used to living on her own, and now is finding it hard to adjust to having people in her house again? She is wrong to talk rudely to you and behave the way she is behaving, but really the only way to deal with this is by either talking to her about it. Asking her if she is finding it hard to adjust, or if ye have done something to annoy or, or just moving out. Although maybe she is just in the 'getting used to it stage' and when she adjusts again she'll be happy. You could be on here again in 4 months because she is so upset ye are moving out!!

fatherted1969

It's simple really, move put !!!

About 15 years ago we were converting out cottage into a dormer and moved in with my wife's sister. It ended horrendously and If I had it all over again I'd put money aside and rent somewhere local. Don't think we'll ever get back to where we were before we moved in. There's nothing worth the possible fallout you're about to have. She probably felt it was something she could deal with but now realises she can't cope with someone on her floor. Move out !

coolcat63

If you can't move out (or more to the point don't want to which seems to be the case) then buy her a dishwasher - it's a small price to pay compared to the cost and hassle of moving.

pgj2015

she called me pathetic. She makes negative comments about my appearance all the time, either I look scruffy or I need to comb/cut my hair! (I'm 29 and my husband is 30, we decide how to wear our hair!) I could turn round and say " We'll you're obese and need to improve your hygiene" but I don't because I'm not mean.



I can not believe you can talk about your MIL like this, such thanks you have for someone who is doing so much for you. you sound like a self entitled teenager, complaining that your MIL does nothing around the house, its her house so she can do what she likes, I bet when you get your own place you wouldn't even want her to visit you. And I am 100% sure you wouldn't return the favour to her if she was in need.

theredletter

Jesus Christ is PI being moderated at ALL these days? Some of the comments directed at the OP are absolutely unfair and OTT. The OP is looking to vent and looking for perspective, cut her a break she's in a tough situation.

Ellie2008

OP you are suffering from serious delusions! You say she never takes into account how difficult it is for you to live rent & utility free in her house?! You acknowledge it is saving you significant cash, & yet keep moaning oh but it s hard for us to live for free (pretty much) in someone else's house.
The only other place you can live for peanuts is in a hostel so you could always try that.

I feel sorry for the poor woman.

Ellie2008

theredletter wrote: »

Jesus Christ is PI being moderated at ALL these days? Some of the comments directed at the OP are absolutely unfair and OTT. The OP is looking to vent and looking for perspective, cut her a break she's in a tough situation.

In a tough situation living for free in someone else s house for free is not a "tough situation". Being on the housing list for 11 years, raising your kids in a hotel room those are tough accommodation situations, this is just being ungrateful for somebody else's gift which in this case is market rent & utilities for 2 people plus utilities for six months and counting, in other words a lot of money.

theredletter

Ellie2008 wrote: »

In a tough situation living for free in someone else s house for free is not a "tough situation". Being on the housing list for 11 years, raising your kids in a hotel room those are tough accommodation situations, this is just being ungrateful for somebody else's gift which in this case is market rent & utilities for 2 people plus utilities for six months and counting, in other words a lot of money.

.... Are you honestly going to bring extreme situation like homelessness into this? People can annoy you in circumstances like that - simple as that. I lived with my mum during my PhD and I nearly killed her and she nearly killed me. From what I gather both she and her OH are paying their gratitude and then some through chores and through financially chipping in through food shop. The paid make the MIL's feckin bed!!!! What more do you want from her? She's just getting fed up and looking for a place to vent and doesn't need exaggerated comments comparing her ingratitude to those on housing lists. I hope you are all your dinner tonight, after all there are people dying in Africa

Taltos

Mod Note
If posters can't stay civil then per our charter don't post.
theredletter please take some time to read our charter but don't post in this thread again.


Ellie - I've removed your latest post.
That poster has been asked not to post on this thread again or risk a ban, replying to them now will only invite the inevitable and that isn't really fair. Thanks.

Ellie2008

Taltos wrote: »

Mod Note
If posters can't stay civil then per our charter don't post.
theredletter please take some time to read our charter but don't post in this thread again.


Ellie - I've removed your latest post.
That poster has been asked not to post on this thread again or risk a ban, replying to them now will only invite the inevitable and that isn't really fair. Thanks.

Ok thanks

deseil

loveisdivine wrote: »

So we had to move back in with my MIL. We were renting but the landlord decided to sell and we thought we would use the opportunity to add to our savings and live with MIL for a while then buy our own house. We have been here 6 months and hope to only be here another 6 months.

We knew it would be a big change and not exactly fun but to be honest it's not been quite as bad as we expected (well until recently). Yes, she does things that drive us bonkers, she can be very rude and sometimes we want to scream into our pillows but we keep it to ourselves. We know that it's only temporary so we just try and get on with it.

MIL however seems to be struggling more than us! I should note that when we first lived with her 6 years ago (before renting) she threw a tantrum when we said we were moving out and desperately didn't want us to leave. She was always very welcoming about us coming back.

The conditions are that we don't need to pay her rent but we buy all the food and do the cooking. That's fine. However, lately, she has started making lots of negative comments about our presence and has ceased doing any of the chores she was originally doing.

She keeps moaning at us that she's not used to "living like this" which I believe is in reference to us taking up one of the spare rooms with our stuff and also our cat! She criticizes and makes sarcastic comments about everything we do. I sewed a santa jacket for our cat (:o) and she called me pathetic. She makes negative comments about my appearance all the time, either I look scruffy or I need to comb/cut my hair! (I'm 29 and my husband is 30, we decide how to wear our hair!) I could turn round and say " We'll you're obese and need to improve your hygiene" but I don't because I'm not mean.

She used to do the washing up after we cooked dinner, but now she has stopped bothering. She doesn't hoover or clean the bathroom or do any housework of any kind. The only job she does is put the clothes washing on and every time she does it she makes a point of saying "I did all your washing" like it's some kind of achievement.

I appreciate that she is letting us live in her house and that it is difficult for her. But it's also difficult for us too, we aren't used to living out of a bedroom and generally living in someone else's house. But the difference is we just get on with it, I guess I think it's a bit mean for her to say these things. We can't really do a lot to change them and she was more than happy to have us back.

My worst nightmare is raring my kids and them moving back in with family in tow, Im sorry, but leave the poor woman her peace in her final years.

CaraMay

Questions for the op -

Why do you need to live where you work?

Why, seeing as your husband got a very 'handsome' redundancy package plus you've saved more than €6k already can you not afford to move anywhere you want?

It's not adding up.

gothic_doll

OP- You mentioned you are saving €1,000 a month by living with your MIL.

You mention that you are doing 90% of the chores, and you do the cooking. You provide company for her in the house.

Would you consider what you offer her to have a market value of €1,000 per month? If you hired someone to do the chores for a couple hours and cook every night- say a nanny, what would their wage be? An Au Pair usually does the work for free in exchange for the board. She might get a small allowance. In the circumstance of an Au Pair, they are also providing childcare, which you are not, yet they still earn significantly less than €1,000 per month. In fact, if you look at https://www.findaupair.com/salaries, an au pair working in Ireland can expect to earn 50-75 a week.

Consider that she is essentially handing you the money on a platter by gracefully allowing you to stay on her personal property. It's her land, her house, her choice. She wants to help you.

If her comments are detracting from your life to the value of €1,000 per month, then move out. If not, please appreciate the help she is kindly offering you both.

SAMTALK

OP I think some people are being a bit harsh to you to be honest.
We moved in with my mother for a while (with kids) and no way would she take rent from us so we did like you. Cleaned, cooked and tried to help as much as we could. It was tough at times but no way did she ever speak to me like you MIL.
Most parents would help out their children when trying to buy a home whether putting you up for a while or financially but it doesnt give her the right to speak to you the way she does.
She knows it only short term so I cant really see what her problem is and if she works she is out of the house for a few hours and when she gets home there is a meal ready for her and a clean house. You even make her bed!!!

pookie82

SAMTALK wrote: »

OP I think some people are being a bit harsh to you to be honest.
We moved in with my mother for a while (with kids) and no way would she take rent from us so we did like you. Cleaned, cooked and tried to help as much as we could. It was tough at times but no way did she ever speak to me like you MIL.
Most parents would help out their children when trying to buy a home whether putting you up for a while or financially but it doesnt give her the right to speak to you the way she does.
She knows it only short term so I cant really see what her problem is and if she works she is out of the house for a few hours and when she gets home there is a meal ready for her and a clean house. You even make her bed!!!

Agreed. I've never been in this situation but many parents would be happy to help out their son/DIL in such circumstances without making them feel like slaves/a nuisance.

There are always bound to be some tensions in such a new living arrangement but she knows as well as you two do that it's short term.

I don't think that expecting you to cover house work, cooking and cleaning is too much, given you're taking up most of the house and she IS doing you a serious financial favour here. But giving someone a place to live and refusing to take rent does not give you the right to criticise their appearance and behaviour day in, day out. If a man paid the mortgage and all bills in his home, would he have a "right" to speak to his wife like that?

If she's finding it too difficult I'm sure she'll suggest as much and advise you to seek alternative means until you can buy your own place. But I suspect there's a part of her that enjoys acting the martyr, all the while not having to lift a finger.

Maybe next time she starts moaning, ask her straight out "is this all becoming a bit too much for you? Would you prefer to have the place back to yourself?" I'd say she likes giving out but doesn't actually want you to go anywhere, she just enjoys the ability to feel put out.

LegacyUser

loveisdivine wrote: »

I would never complain to her about how difficult it is living with her!

Nor should you! You should move out first rather than complain to her that you find living with her difficult! You say yourself this is only a recent thing. 6 months is a long time to be living on top of people if you're not used to it. You've said yourself you're finding it difficult. Some people are just blunter than others. You even made an embarrassed face yourself about the jacket for your cat! Yet when you're mother in law thought similar you took offense.

A year is not a short time to be living with someone else. There probably is a bit of the mother enjoying having a moan - some people are like that. But at the end of the day you don't need to be there. You have a sizeable redundancy payment, you are saving a good chunk every month. If you wanted to you could rent a one bedroom flat somewhere, or get a house share somewhere else, but that would mean not saving as much as you do at the moment.

So you need to sacrifice something - you either sacrifice a bit of cash, or you sacrifice the freedom to live as you please, without interference from a mother-in-law. People can post as much as they like about she shouldn't say this that or the other, but she does! So you either challenge that (calmly!), you put up with it, or you move out.

magicmushroom

OP I can see this from your side and the MIL's.
I have stayed with people before and felt like I was walking on eggshells and it's not a nice feeling.

From the other point of view, I recently had someone living with me (they move out tomorrow - hurrah!!) so I know what it's like to have my personal space invaded after living alone for a long time.
He didn't do much wrong to be honest, it was just his presence in my home and the disruption of my routine that got to me.

The only thing that got me through having him in the house was the weekly rent money.

So maybe you should insist on giving your MIL a little something each week?
If she won't take cash there are other things you could do, such as book a meal out for the 3 of you each Friday night or every fortnight.
Have a good catch up about the week etc, relax with a glass of wine together.
Bring home flowers for her now and again.
Or get her a voucher for a massage, to get her hair done etc...
If you treated her to a blow dry or manicure every Saturday for example, that's only €30 a week max! A small amount to take out of your €1000 that you're saving but might perk her up enormously.

It might ease tensions a little? And show her how much you appreciate her letting you stay in her home.

On the flip side, I would stop making her bed. That's just bloody lazy of her!!!

Edited to add that Samtalk and Pookie make excellent points - some people in this thread are being very hard on you!
After all, the MIL did offer to have you there - all you've done is take her up on that offer! She is not a landlord, she's your Husband's Mother and many people need a little assistance from parents now and again.
She sounds very immature - if she has an issue she needs to talk to you instead of making snide comments and sulking.