Trying to Conceive 2016 onwards Chat Thread

GaGa21

phi3 wrote:

I really don't understand how so many people seem to get pregnant accidentally. I mean if there is only a few days a month you can conceive, and they say you only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month, what are the odds of someone having unprotected sex as a one off and getting pregnant... yet it seems to happen so often. Sorry if this post is off topic or incorrect. I am still trying to get my head around the logistics of all this. Maybe a statistical approach to conceiving is the wrong way to approach it lol. But I suppose it just makes you question all the things that never crossed your mind before.

And it usually is happening to people having regular sex. Not necessarily with the same person, but you are more likely to "get caught" having sex all through your cycle rather than just in fertile window....even 1 or 2 days can throw off timing ovulation right.

Toots

I have to admit that when my husband and I first moved in together (before we got married) I wasn't on the pill and we'd only use condoms if we were having sex in the middle of the month. Even at that, we were pretty careless about it, and never had any 'accidents'. We only were really fastidious about birth control once we'd booked the wedding and my dress was ordered because if I got pregnant it would have put a spanner in the works of wedding planning. But the fact that we'd been YEARS of being careless and never got pregnant, I was worried that we'd have trouble conceiving when the time came. We didn't the first time around, but for this pregnancy we were almost 2 years trying.

xDisneyDivax

To be honest this would be my concern too because we have been together for over 10 years and never got pregnant by accident while few of my close friends got pregnant unintentionally. Somehow in saying that we were very careful never going for withdrawal method until last year and that's with avoiding fertile window. Before that we always used the pill or condom. I know it is easier said than done but perhaps the best way is not to think about it- believe me I know that is hard and we only started trying properly last month.

Toots

I think just regular sex in general boosts your chances. It can be a lot of pressure to make sure you do it on the right days etc, and I found that the fun went out of it quite quickly. My cycles were so irregular it was difficult to figure out which days to be doing it at all, so what we ended up deciding was that if we just tried to have sex every second day we'd have a better chance of catching the right days.

GaGa21

Toots wrote:

so what we ended up deciding was that if we just tried to have sex every second day we'd have a better chance of catching the right days.

Great in theory but hard to put into practice when long term trying 1yr+ or issues like low sex drive/ painful sex are involved.

Toots

That's true. It was difficult for us - we were nearly 2 years trying - but because my cycles were so irregular and ovulation sticks didn't work properly because of me having PCOS, it was pretty much the best chance we had.

hollymartins

I hope everyone is doing well. I posted 4 weeks ago when I had an early miscarriage (5 weeks) so I'm wondering when will AF arrive? Pre-miscarriage I had a regular 28 day cycle but I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced delays in their cycles or when should I expect my first period after a miscarriage?

brokensoul

hollymartins wrote: »

I hope everyone is doing well. I posted 4 weeks ago when I had an early miscarriage (5 weeks) so I'm wondering when will AF arrive? Pre-miscarriage I had a regular 28 day cycle but I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced delays in their cycles or when should I expect my first period after a miscarriage?

I had a D&C after mine and AF arrived 6 weeks after that.

hollymartins

That's good to know, I figured it would be delayed while my body recovers. I'll just wait and see over the next few weeks.

Neyite

I think mine were a week or so delayed.

shortstuff!

I returned to a 28day cycle after my 1st mc. No period after the 2nd mc but ovulated when I would have expected, due NYE. Hope you are doing ok x

lunamoon

HI all, new around these parts. I've just started ttc (31). I had my bloods done about a year ago and my amh was 18.8 (I have no idea if this is good or bad).

There's a history of issues ttc in my family including my mother which took 7 years to conceive at a younger age than I currently am.

I've been on the pill for most of my adult life and came off it last October and have started taking folic acid. I've been tracking my cycles using P tracker and I'm usually bang on (apart from last month when I was a day late).

Currently tracking my cycle using the Clear Blue fertility monitor which has shown me 'high' since I started using it on day 5.

Hermia

lunamoon wrote: »

HI all, new around these parts. I've just started ttc (31). I had my bloods done about a year ago and my amh was 18.8 (I have no idea if this is good or bad).

There's a history of issues ttc in my family including my mother which took 7 years to conceive at a younger age than I currently am.

I've been on the pill for most of my adult life and came off it last October and have started taking folic acid. I've been tracking my cycles using P tracker and I'm usually bang on (apart from last month when I was a day late).

Currently tracking my cycle using the Clear Blue fertility monitor which has shown me 'high' since I started using it on day 5.

I could have written this! Same age as you, same kind of situation and have just started this month. Had my amh tested last year and it was low, think it was 10? But to be honest, I'm not worrying too much about that at the moment, it only lets you know about how many eggs you have left as far as I know, not the quality etc and sure you only need one lucky one! Been tracking etc but just got married so starting in earnest quietly now, I've no idea how it's gonna play out tbh!

Hermia

First month actively trying this month, we were away so I wasn't checking for ovulation but knew around and about when it was happening. Felt really weird the past week with nausea and back pain, period due tomorrow so wasn't sure if it was usual pms symptoms or not.... Took a pregnancy test this morning, negative and then got af about 2 hours later! Waste of a feckin test!

hollymartins

Hermia wrote: »

First month actively trying this month, we were away so I wasn't checking for ovulation but knew around and about when it was happening. Felt really weird the past week with nausea and back pain, period due tomorrow so wasn't sure if it was usual pms symptoms or not.... Took a pregnancy test this morning, negative and then got af about 2 hours later! Waste of a feckin test!

Oh how annoying, that's happened to me a few times and I always curse my timing!

Well I thought AF would come this morning but instead there's been it's been some dark spotting without the usual abdominal cramps. I had light spotting earlier in the week and I thought it would arrive today in full force so I'm getting a bit impatient

I'm usually very regular, I don't know how any of you hold your nerves if you have irregular cycles, it's so unpredictable! With the mc last month it's hard to tell when AF will arrive. I guess there is a possibility that I could have fallen pregnant but with my hopes coming to nought last month I'm being more pessimistic than usual.

If it doesn't arrive tomorrow or Monday then I may just chance a test, although I'll probably repeat Hermia's experience and waste a test just before AF arrives

Neyite

lunamoon wrote: »

HI all, new around these parts. I've just started ttc (31). I had my bloods done about a year ago and my amh was 18.8 (I have no idea if this is good or bad).

There's a history of issues ttc in my family including my mother which took 7 years to conceive at a younger age than I currently am.

I've been on the pill for most of my adult life and came off it last October and have started taking folic acid. I've been tracking my cycles using P tracker and I'm usually bang on (apart from last month when I was a day late).

Currently tracking my cycle using the Clear Blue fertility monitor which has shown me 'high' since I started using it on day 5.

AMH declines gradually with age but I think you fall into a 'satisfactory' grade.

I got 16 a few years back which correlated with my age range and the clinic thought it was fine. Optimal for them is 20 but they've seen successes (assisted and natural pregnancies) with much lower scores according to my nurse.

The AMH will test a hormone that's released, but contrary to popular belief, it doesn't tell you how many eggs you have or the quality of those eggs. So a woman might have a brilliant AMH score, but poor quality eggs, or a mediocre AMH but those eggs are top quality. An egg's quality can only be tested in a petri dish.

The history of the family has a small bearing, but I've seen from my own family - sisters and also my aunts/ mum that every one of them have a varied reproduction story. I had difficulties yet my sister is ridiculously fertile. Ditto with my Aunt - TTC for years and years yet my mammy got pregnant very easily.

Have you been TTC since October? I hear the Clearblue monitor is brilliant.

lunamoon

Neyite wrote: »

Have you been TTC since October? I hear the Clearblue monitor is brilliant.

Not actively trying. Been using the withdrawal method.

I was bored at home last night and used one of the boots OPKs. It showed the LH charge. The Clearblue monitor says to only use first-morning urine but apparently, this isn't ideal as it means you could miss a day.

Anyway, the CBM showed a 'peak' day today. Just out of curiosity I did another one of the Boots tests later in the evening and it was negative.

I BD on Wed, Friday and today. I was going to hold off today and go tomorrow instead but panicked when I saw the negative test. I really need to pick a lane and just rely on one test method so I stop confusing myself. I've heard that I should be BD every other day but then others say every day. It's hard to know what advice to follow.

The other thing is, and I feel so stupid about this is. Every time I've BD I feel really anxious afterwards thinking "omg, what if I actually get pregnant, am I ready for this?"

Toots

Don't worry, I think most people get the positive pregnancy test and are still thinking "Oh my god, am I ready for this??" Sure it took me almost 2 years to get preggers this time around, and still when I took the test I had a "sweet jesus, there's no going back now!" moment when it came up positive.

Does the clear blue monitor do your temperature?

I found the fertility friend app good - I used that in conjunction with temping, but the thing about temping is it confirms when you have ovulated, but doesn't necessarily tell you when you're about to ovulate. It's handy to use in conjunction with OPK strips/tests - the tests tell you when you're having your LH surge, and then a day or two later your temperature should drop to confirm if you've ovulated.

lunamoon

Toots wrote: »

Don't worry, I think most people get the positive pregnancy test and are still thinking "Oh my god, am I ready for this??" Sure it took me almost 2 years to get preggers this time around, and still when I took the test I had a "sweet jesus, there's no going back now!" moment when it came up positive.

That's reassuring. I suppose I'm being very optimistic thinking I'm going to get pregnant straight away!

Toots wrote: »

Does the clear blue monitor do your temperature?

No it tests for LH and estrogen AFAIK. I think I'll pick up one of the thermometers as well.

Toots wrote: »

I found the fertility friend app good.

I'll try this one as well. Thank you.

Neyite

Yeah, the "am I ready for this" feeling lasts about...ohhh until they are about 18 I think. After years of rolling my eyes at FB statuses of montessori graduations, there was I when it was our turn videoing the whole thing with damp eyeballs because I'm barely ready for my baby to go off to Big School and he's Growing Up So Fast. <clich

We were a year TTC then got referred to a clinic. A few months of tweaking my hormones and whatnot it was a full 2 yrs after beginning TTC, 29 cycles and on the third round of Clomid I finally got duffed. And even then when the line appeared I felt my heart start to thump and think OhSh!twhathavewedone!!! for a moment or two.

We still look at each other and can't believe we have this kid. That someone let us have a kid. When we are not doing that, we are in disbelief that 6 years ago our lives just Got Real.

And even though we were half terrified and most of the time are winging it, it's been an absolute blast. The best I can describe it is that we didn't know we had a kid-shaped hole in our lives until he came along.

I'll end the sop now. :pac:

hollymartins

If everyone waited til they were ready I don't think anyone I know would have children

I was waiting all week for AF to arrive, I had some dark spotting after my last post but still no sign or symptoms of the imminent arrival of my period. All very similar to last month so I decided to take a test this morning and it was BFP!

I'm terrified and reluctant to get my hopes up, especially as I'm spotting. I can't believe quite believe it

shortstuff!

hollymartins wrote: »

If everyone waited til they were ready I don't think anyone I know would have children

I was waiting all week for AF to arrive, I had some dark spotting after my last post but still no sign or symptoms of the imminent arrival of my period. All very similar to last month so I decided to take a test this morning and it was BFP!

I'm terrified and reluctant to get my hopes up, especially as I'm spotting. I can't believe quite believe it

Congratulations!! I hope it all goes well for you this time round x

catrionanic

Ah congratulations, holly. Going to be an understandably nervous few weeks for you but wishing you all the best.

hollymartins

catrionanic wrote: »

Ah congratulations, holly. Going to be an understandably nervous few weeks for you but wishing you all the best.

Thanks ladies. Yes it's going to be an anxious time for me. When I told my husband I was pregnant last month we were both so excited. This time around it's different, I don't think we're going to talk about it much or make plans until we have a scan.

rainbow kirby

hollymartins wrote: »

I hope everyone is doing well. I posted 4 weeks ago when I had an early miscarriage (5 weeks) so I'm wondering when will AF arrive? Pre-miscarriage I had a regular 28 day cycle but I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced delays in their cycles or when should I expect my first period after a miscarriage?

I had an early loss at the start of this year, first cycle after was 42 days but it settled back to 30-32 days quickly after that.

Congrats on the BFP

xDisneyDivax

Congrats Helen! Fingers crossed it goes well this time!x

Does everyone try to do the deed every day during their fertile window? :rolleyes:

Newlymrs

Evening ladies, sorry to hijack the chat but I'm frazzled and looking for advice, it's our third month ttc, I done ovulation test every day since my period finished last month to make sure I got the right time, turns out my (2) apps predicted ovulation a few days before I got positive on the kit, got my positive 19 days aft period began, dtd that morn, skipped a day and went again, now my period is late,well 2 days late which isn't unusual for me however I seem to have some spotting which is very unusual for me, usually I get very heavy periods for 4 days and light for the 5th......I also had why felt like period pains up til the spotting started, is this just all wishful thinking on my behalf or does it sound like there is a chance I'm possibly pregnant.

catrionanic

Newlymrs wrote: »

Evening ladies, sorry to hijack the chat but I'm frazzled and looking for advice, it's our third month ttc, I done ovulation test every day since my period finished last month to make sure I got the right time, turns out my (2) apps predicted ovulation a few days before I got positive on the kit, got my positive 19 days aft period began, dtd that morn, skipped a day and went again, now my period is late,well 2 days late which isn't unusual for me however I seem to have some spotting which is very unusual for me, usually I get very heavy periods for 4 days and light for the 5th......I also had why felt like period pains up til the spotting started, is this just all wishful thinking on my behalf or does it sound like there is a chance I'm possibly pregnant.

It's certainly possible. If you do a first response test on your first urine of the morning, it should be accurate at this stage.

Neyite

Yeah, it's a possibility Some women get implantation bleeding - I never did so I can't describe it for you though.

One thing I did notice though is that I paid a LOT more attention to each twinge and sensation when ttc. In all likelihood they would come and go during my cycles but I was paying more attention to them when TTC.

Anyway, try a pregnancy test with first morning urine and you'll know for sure.

Best of luck!

Toots

Definitely do a test, if you're 2 days late it should be enough to show as positive if you're pregnant. I had implantation bleeding this time around, but didn't have it on my first baby. Both times I felt quite "period-y" in the days before I took the test - apparently early pregnancy symptoms and PMS are quite similar (just to mess with your head even more!)

Best of luck and hope you get a BFP!