Dating websites - are they worth it?

galwayhooker

In mid thirties, single, have good job and very independent.Dont mean to blow my trumpet but have been told am very pretty and very fit run marathons and do lots of weight training.Single over 4 years so would be nice to meet someone but find it's not happening - don't drink but that doesn't stop me heading out but find not meeting any guys.
Deciided to bite the bullet and join POF and elite single last week - didn't put pics up first but when I did messages came flooding in.Find though esp on POF that a lot of male pen pals!!! Guys just seem to message - they have asked for my mob number so gave it to one or two guys that seem to be nice. They want to meet up but just have this gut feeling that if they do meet me I'm just another girl slotted into their diary for date.
Just wonder what are other girls experiences on dating sites - know prob should have this post maybe in another forum so apologies.

Diamond Doll

You can request access to the Online Dating Forum here.

Personally I always much preferred OKC to POF.

mckar

First and only person I meet up from that site about 5 and half years ago is sitting beside me right now 3 kids later and happiest I have ever been in my life. Now that's a long time ago it mute be different now. I suppose I was lucky

LeeLooLee

I did it a bit and I didn't like it. It actually made me quite miserable for a time. Like you, I felt like I was just one more date in the diary. I also think the format brings out the worst in a lot of men - either they're like a kid in a candy shop and loving all the choice of women, or they're bitter about not getting much attention and verging on misogynistic. I may give it a try again in the future, but no, I didn't like it much.

Addle

Well they're definitely not worth it if you don't take up any offers of dates!
Give a few guys a chance.
Don't have unrealistic expectations.

Buddly

IMO, It's worth keeping the option open, you never know, but I would always rank the old fashioned ways of meeting people ahead. Worth a bit of time but not a huge amount (male perspective)

castaway_lady

18 months with my OH having been a lifetime single so Im all in favour of online dating. But I cant say I've been consistently like this but I learned a few lessons along the way and with the value of hindsight Im of the opinion that theyre definitely worth it. For a start think of it like this- do you shop online? bank online? probably...so why not date online?

Just do it from a wise position....
- Dont rely on one website, try match & POF & okcupid. In my experience you'll find a lot more messers on POF. But do all three.
- Dont only message one person at a time or allow yourself to think "this is the one" early on. Expect that they're dating and messaging in multiples.
- Be honest and open in your profile- state what you're not interested in up front, it'll eliminate a proportion of timewasters and probably pee off a few but sure anyway.
- Test their interest with a fortnight of emails before meeting up, try out their interest unless you're sure you're REALLY interested.
- Aim to avoid "going for a drink/coffee" dates, at least after the first date. Do something active/ interesting- it'll give you the chance to shine and take the pressure off keeping up face to face conversation.
- Anyone you're messaging, google search them (&their online name)- you never know what you'd find! Worth the effort.
- Don't become solely reliant on online dating, just see it as another option.

- Keep the faith. There are some lovely people on there (me and my OH!).
Best of luck.

lisasimpson

you need to be thick skinned with it at times....last serious relationship I had was 8 years ago. ive started using it the last couple of years as my social life isn't a hetic as it was so limited in ways to met someone.. you need an open mind. ive had mixed experiences with it from one guy who didn't take it too well when I would go on a second take to becoming good pals with a guy I met on it. I just wasn't attracted to him but we have a great laugh taking the p*** out of each other. I could have "settled" with him wouldn't be fair on him and he is now going out with a lovely women

The one thing that annoys me about it, is the "penpal" element one poster already mentioned. one of my friends has a rule If they don't mention meeting up after about two weeks of messaging she forgets about them

stevveyg

I think you have to make them worth it, if that makes sense, accept rejection, dont take it personal, chin up and move on to the next profile!
I joined pof probably 4 years ago at this stage, and met some wonderful girls on there, many of them i am still great friends with today, now of course there are a few "weirdos" on it but that is to be expected!
Today i am engaged to one of those "weirdos" lol (only joking), we are getting married next june,bought a house together 1year ago and have a beautiful 8month baby girl today, life is good!

La.de.da

I agree with some posters you do need to have quite a thick skin for those online dating sites. There's a fair bit of rejection that comes with them I personally wasn't tough enough to handle it all.

That said I've chatted with a few nice people whom I still swap messages with.
But no romantic connections. Though I think I wasn't ready for that tbh

Justin1982

On-line dating.......Worst invention ever!

The amount of wierdo's and time wasters on there is unreal. Both male and female. I've had plenty of dates and a few girlfriends from online dating. All nutters. The people I've meet on those sites have about as much dept to them as a puddle after a light shower on the hottest day of the year. And its so frustrating trying to get to know anyone on those sites because they are probably talking to about 50 other people, only half arsed anyway, their profile picture is always much better than the reality you get when you meet them and first dates are pretty dreadful. High chance that you meet them and they're much more different to how they seem online.

Its pretty hard to beat finding a good pub and developing a routine for meeting people or approaching people.

castaway_lady

castaway_lady wrote: »

- Test their interest with a fortnight of emails before meeting up, try out their interest unless you're sure you're REALLY interested. .

lisasimpson wrote: »

The one thing that annoys me about it, is the "penpal" element one poster already mentioned. one of my friends has a rule If they don't mention meeting up after about two weeks of messaging she forgets about them

I would call 2 weeks too long, nearly...