You Bought my 6 year old a WHAT???

wolfpawnat

Okay, I am being told I am being irrational, I need other people's opinion on this.

My son is after being gifted an ipad for Christmas from his godfather. The boy is 6 years old. His father and I are livid this was bought at all without our being asked. As far as we are concerned, it is far too expensive and in all, a ridiculous thing to get a child. An ipad is for business professionals; sales reps, doctors, IT specialists, not for 6 year olds to play Angry Birds. And the added hilarity, we only have an internet dongle, no broadband router in our house, so it is doubly useless IMO.

There is another factor here, I have a daughter too, and though she is only 2, I don't think it is fair that there is such a drastic discrepancy in their treatment. I know she does not understand, but I do, and her father and I do not want a situation arising where we try and make up the differences in non financial ways and cause my son to become separated from the family unit because of jealousy.

I intend talking to his godfather in the morning and politely thanking him for his generous gift, but explaining to him it is far too much and to please not do such things, even though I understand it was all done with the best intentions because

1 - it is too much, it is far too expensive a gift for a 6 year old.
2 - it is not age appropriate - I have no issue with him purchasing him a child specific device if he likes.
3 - it is not fair his sister is so second fiddle to him. In years to come she will resent the differences and I wish to not cause rifts in my children, I cannot force them to be close, but I can prevent unnecessary reasons for them not to be.

We also thinking of asking all family and friends to consult us for any gifts that they wish to get our children in excess of 50e, for the simple fact we do not want them over spoiled, but presents seem to be getting out of hand, more frequent and more extravagant and we do not wish for our children to be too spoiled.

Am I being irrational?

Gaygooner

Yes.

I bought my God daughter an iPad

They can be very child friendly given the correct apps

Lisha

I don't think you are being irrational but it's difficult to refuse the gift without seeming irrational.

But tbh he was silly to buy it without even considering the Internet/broadband issues.

Could you talk to the godfather and agree a spending limit for presents?

Tbh I'd be very put out too. I like to be able to but 'wow' gifts fir my child myself... IMHO the godfather has taken this from you.

But is it worth falling out over it. At the end of the day you probably chose him as godfather because you felt he would take an interest in the child. That us what he us trying to do. It's just slightly over the top. No malice was meant, possible he was just trying to be too good.

topmanamillion

It's a tough one. The child's godfather shouldn't have given him the Ipad without running it by you first in the same way you would before gifting a young child a phone.

As far as Ipads being only for professional goes, that's just not true. I would say the vast majority of people that own them are playing angry bird on them and doing light browsing of the Internet.
The fact you don't have wireless Internet may well work in your favour as it will make it easier to closely monitor his activity on it.
You could put some educational apps on it/TV programmes if you can manage it on your dongle ect. I'd see it as a good opportunity.

wolfpawnat

Gaygooner wrote: »

Yes.

I bought my God daughter an iPad

They can be very child friendly given the correct apps

Can I ask how old is she?

We don't have internet access in the house, so we cannot even get said apps. Also our finances are terrible at present and it seems as though an ipad for a child in a house where the parents are struggling seems a tad mad.

Gaygooner

11.

so they can't have something nice because of that??? That seems unfair on the child

ted1

An iPad is abut much. Santa is bringing out girls an Amazon Fire kids tablet each. Just under a 100 euro each with a 2 years no question asked warranty. And 1 year sub to kids prime.

An iPad is wasted on kids, they don't mind slow tablets, but the main thing is that they are too fragile.

If your sibling is like any of mine they may have gotten the iPad for free through work or very cheap and are just passing it on

wolfpawnat

Lisha wrote: »

I don't think you are being irrational but it's difficult to refuse the gift without seeming irrational.

But tbh he was silly to buy it without even considering the Internet/broadband issues.

Could you talk to the godfather and agree a spending limit for presents?

Tbh I'd be very put out too. I like to be able to but 'wow' gifts fir my child myself... IMHO the godfather has taken this from you.

But is it worth falling out over it. At the end of the day you probably chose him as godfather because you felt he would take an interest in the child. That us what he us trying to do. It's just slightly over the top. No malice was meant, possible he was just trying to be too good.

Oddly, I had not thought of the taking the "wow" factor, until you mentioned it. This Christmas is a hard one for us. Santa is being good, practical and fun here this year, but also very cost conscious. My partner and I could not afford santa and presents from us, so we now have given nothing, and even santa has been out done.

It would not be a fall out, I would simply (and of course very politely) thank him and explain perhaps a more cost friendly device would be better. Top of the range does not equate only thing in the range.

topmanamillion wrote: »

It's a tough one. The child's godfather shouldn't have given him the Ipad without running it by you first in the same way you would before gifting a young child a phone.

As far as Ipads being only for professional goes, that's just not true. I would say the vast majority of people that own them are playing angry bird on them and doing light browsing of the Internet.
The fact you don't have wireless Internet may well work in your favour as it will make it easier to closely monitor his activity on it.
You could put some educational apps on it/TV programmes if you can manage it on your dongle ect. I'd see it as a good opportunity.

My dongle is the cheapest I could get with very little download ability, in all, I cannot afford to put games on it. Times are tight for us at present, so effectively, it would be an expensive ornament.

My son is also VERY boisterous with little concept of calm and gentle (he's 6, what can you do) so I see it being broken in a few days, and honestly, that would gall me after his godfather being so good as to spend so much on him in the first place. Ipad's are not really for the boisterous (well not if they are like ipods and iphones)

ted1

Gaygooner wrote: »

11.

so they can't have something nice because of that??? That seems unfair on the child

They never said that.stop putting words in their mouth

unkel

wolfpawnat wrote: »

An ipad is for business professionals; sales reps, doctors, IT specialists

LOL, will you join us in the real world?

iPads are really nice toys for kids, they are pretty obsolete for business professionals at this stage

Go and thank the godfather of your child for giving him such a generous gift!

And do yourself and your kid a favour and get broadband in your house. You seem to live in the 1980s?

ted1

Gaygooner wrote: »

Yes.

I bought my God daughter an iPad

They can be very child friendly given the correct apps

They don't handle drops well.

wolfpawnat

ted1 wrote: »

An iPad is abut much. Santa is bringing out girls an Amazon Fire kids tablet each. Just under a 100 euro each with a 2 years no question asked warranty. And 1 year sub to kids prime.

An iPad is wasted on kids, they don't mind slow tablets, but the main thing is that they are too fragile.

If your sibling is like any of mine they may have gotten the iPad for free through work or very cheap and are just passing it on

Nope, actually went to the apple store, got an assistant and paid top euro for it. I have the receipt here. If it was a work hand-me-down, then it is one thing, but this is big money for effectively nothing.

Gaygooner wrote: »

11.

so they can't have something nice because of that??? That seems unfair on the child

There is a huge difference between 6 and 11 and I am not saying he cannot have a tablet, but a more child appropriate one maybe. I mean extravagance within reason is surely not a big ask.

Gaygooner

ted1 wrote: »

They don't handle drops well. It's easy to spot someone who doesn't have kids..,,

There are great cases that prevent that- guess who bought one of those also!!!

Oh throw the "I'm a parent, ergo I inow best" card

drunkmonkey

My 3yr old nephew loves playing educational games on it.

Yes your being a bit nuts and don't really understand it.

A phone is a no no but the pad will be good for the kid.

Buy a bomb proof case like an otterbox for it, seen as you got it for free.

wolfpawnat

unkel wrote: »

LOL, will you join us in the real world?

iPads are really nice toys for kids, they are pretty obsolete for business professionals at this stage

Go and thank the godfather of your child for giving him such a generous gift!

And do yourself and your kid a favour and get broadband in your house. You seem to live in the 1980s?

Well would me not knowing who has them tell you what sort of state our finances are in that as an adult, it never even occurred to me to get it.

Also, my SIX year old is not allowed on the internet, he does not need broadband, and I cannot afford it at present.

ted1

unkel wrote: »

LOL, will you join us in the real world?

iPads are really nice toys for kids, they are pretty obsolete for business professionals at this stage

Go and thank the godfather of your child for giving him such a generous gift!

And do yourself and your kid a favour and get broadband in your house. You seem to live in the 1980s?

Maybe for kids in the double digits, but pointless for kids any younger, they are bound to drop them, spill drinks in them, etc.

VG31

6 years old is far too young for a tablet, phone, iPod etc.

6 year olds should be get toys for Christmas. As far as I'm concerned getting kids gadgets at such a young she is overestimating their maturity. Gadgets will inevitably come when they are older. Let them enjoy toys while they can.

.G.

Sell it on adverts, quids in. Thank the buyer.

drunkmonkey

How did you get to the internet, your phone? You can tether the pad to your phone to download apps and use them for fun and education offline.

gctest50

ted1 wrote: »

Maybe for kids in the double digits, but pointless for kids any younger, they are bound to drop them, spill drinks in them, etc.

you'd never know sure

wolfpawnat

drunkmonkey wrote: »

My 3yr old nephew loves playing educational games on it.

Yes your being a bit nuts and don't really understand it.

A phone is a no no but the pad will be good for the kid.

Buy a bomb proof case like an otterbox for it, seen as you got it for free.

But is it one specifically bought for him and only for him to use? I mean yes, if it was to be a family gadget it would be one thing, this is supposed to be JUST for him, not to be shared with his sister.

superg wrote: »

Sell it on adverts, quids in. Thank the buyer.

He bought it on request from the 6yo in front of him. How do I explain that away?

Gaygooner

wolfpawnat wrote: »

But is it one specifically bought for him and only for him to use? I mean yes, if it was to be a family gadget it would be one thing, this is supposed to be JUST for him, not to be shared with his sister.



He bought it on request from the 6yo in front of him. How do I explain that away?

He should be tought to share tbf

drunkmonkey

ted1 wrote: »

Maybe for kids in the double digits, but pointless for kids any younger, they are bound to drop them, spill drinks in them, etc.

You don't understand the benefits or the product a decent case fixes the breakage problem.

wolfpawnat

drunkmonkey wrote: »

How did you get to the internet, your phone? You can tether the pad to your phone to download apps and use them for fun and education offline.

My phone is 60e from Tesco, my internet is a dongle I can only afford to top up once a month. My son has a better device than the rest of the house can afford. I am typing this on a 9 year old laptop.

gctest50 wrote: »

you'd never know sure

I love my son, but no. He is VERY clumsy, VERY rough and VERY lackadaisical with his toys.

Gaygooner

I sense a bit of green eyed monster here

DivingDuck

You have a few options here:

1. Thank the godfather and accept the gift.
2. Thank the godfather, return the gift as it doesn't suit your circumstances and parenting choices, and ask him to exchange it for something else.
3. Thank the godfather, sell the gift, and use it to buy what you consider to be suitable items for both children.

I personally would go for option one, but I'm not you and it's not my child. You are quite wrong about the intended and actual market for iPads, but that doesn't mean you have to allow your child to have one if you don't feel it's appropriate. You could explain to the godfather that you don't want to create a situation where one child gets better presents than the other-- I'm assuming the other child's godparents aren't such generous gift-givers? (Unless it's the same guy, and he's playing favourites, it's not really his fault, but you can still explain the situation to him.)

If you really don't want the child to have the iPad but don't feel you can broach this topic with the godfather, you could always sell it, redistribute the funds between the children, and then tell the godfather that your son "lost" his iPad. That would put paid to further expensive gifts, I'm betting. It's a bit underhand, but if you really think he would take it poorly and really can't stomach the thought of the boy having the tablet, it's an option.

drunkmonkey

wolfpawnat wrote: »

But is it one specifically bought for him and only for him to use? I mean yes, if it was to be a family gadget it would be one thing, this is supposed to be JUST for him, not to be shared with his sister.



He bought it on request from the 6yo in front of him. How do I explain that away?

I've a 3yr old and 6yr old nephew and they share it, the 3yr old loves hammers and generally throwing stuff around, the 6yr old loves building Lego, neither of them are addicted to the iPad it's just another toy that they use for number games, jigsaws, join the dots that kind of thing.
This is a really good present your after getting be thankful and put a proper case on it and keep it safe and not let it get broken and end up in the bin as you don't want to spend €150 fixing the screen.

ted1

Gaygooner wrote: »

There are great cases that prevent that- guess who bought one of those also!!!

Oh throw the "I'm a parent, ergo I inow best" card

Oh no ..., I throw a card at you.., shock horror....
Honestly I had 10 nieces and nephews before I had my own kids and you really do not realise how destructive they are I till you have your own.
Enjoy living in your bubble .

Moonbeam

Gaygooner wrote: »

I sense a bit of green eyed monster here

Please can we be civil and not jump to such conclusions on thread.

wolfpawnat

Gaygooner wrote: »

He should be tought to share tbf

There is a deeper issue than this, and it derives from an issue with my MIL who has my son utterly convinced he is more important than any other human being on this planet, especially. I force him to share, and trust me, it is hell dealing with it. He breaks things rather than share. His grandmother has taught him his sister is not for sharing with, and to have him share it (which we would enforce) will cause the whole of Christmas to become an utter farce.

Gaygooner

ted1 wrote: »

Oh no ..., I throw a card at you.., shock horror....
Honestly I had 10 nieces and nephews before I had my own kids and you really do not realise how destructive they are I till you have your own.
Enjoy living in your bubble .

I live in a house, some parents seem to want to put their children in a bubble.

Are only parents views allowed in the parenting forum- abs steering non parents is acceptable???

ted1

drunkmonkey wrote: »

You don't understand the benefits or the product a decent case fixes the breakage problem.

You put to much trust in cases. I have yet to see a case that can protect a screen that is stood on, or lands on a object mid screen.

drunkmonkey

wolfpawnat wrote: »

My phone is 60e from Tesco, my internet is a dongle I can only afford to top up once a month. My son has a better device than the rest of the house can afford. I am typing this on a 9 year old laptop.



I love my son, but no. He is VERY clumsy, VERY rough and VERY lackadaisical with his toys.

You can share your internet connection with the iPad your already paying for, and you will be using this more than any of them, you really should get your head around this, it will be a benefit to you and the kids.

Gaygooner

Moonbeam wrote: »

Please can we be civil and not jump to such conclusions on thread.

Civil???

Mourinho

Sorry to hear your having a tough time financially.

It's tough cause you can't really give it back without causing offence and I must say its great to see a god parent so involved, majority I've ever known it's just a title and they barely even spend time with the child.

First things first, if it's to be kept with kids that young get a case like an otter box, however given money is tight the Unicorn Beetle series by Supcase I would swear by.

A tempered glass screen protector is a must again with a child go for CaseBase the only ones I'd recommend and you get two if he manages to wreck one haha

An iPad is more a personal device now for all sorts it's not professional really anymore, kids to the elderly use them for lots of stuff! You may be thinking of the iPad Pro which is aimed at business.

If your download limit via the dongle is very low do you have a family member or friend who you could call into for an half hour for tea and download them? Or maybe is there a place near you like Starbucks, Costa Cofee or a MacDonalds that give free wifi?

Yes tho I would agree that it should be shared with his sister. I know it's for him and if the god father says anything just say in a friendly way your teaching him to share and you don't want the 2 year old to feel left out, frankly I can't see any reasonable person objecting to that.

Gaygooner

ted1 wrote: »

You put to much trust in cases. I have yet to see a case that can protect a screen that is stood on, or lands on a object mid screen.

A raised case with a protective screen

BreadnBuddha

Jaysus lads, would you lay off the OP.

A 6 year old boy should be given toys, not technology. Lego would have been a better choice.

The level of expenditure is embarrassing, for the giver. The parents shouldn't be embarrassed for a moment, and the OP is right to think that it's totally nuts to have a little boy own such a device when they're having to watch their pennies everywhere else.

The Godparent should have told the boy that he had a present already, bought him and his little sister a toy each and put a few quid in a card towards some christmas clobber or Santas parcel.

What he did was plain wrong.

ted1

Gaygooner wrote: »

I live in a house, some parents seem to want to put their children in a bubble.

Are only parents views allowed in the parenting forum- abs steering non parents is acceptable???

Well I suppose it's the difference between a electrician and a DIY guy posting in the electrical forum ...


Kids can't live in bubbles, they'll burst them...

Gaygooner

BreadnBuddha wrote: »

Jaysus lads, would you lay off the OP.

A 6 year old boy should be given toys, not technology. Lego would have been a better choice.

The level of expenditure is embarrassing, for the giver. The parents shouldn't be embarrassed for a moment, and the OP is right to think that it's totally nuts to have a little boy own such a device when they're having to watch their pennies everywhere else.

Technology should be embraced

drunkmonkey

ted1 wrote: »

You put to much trust in cases. I have yet to see a case that can protect a screen that is stood on, or lands on a object mid screen.

An otterbox defender should be tough enough for most households.
It's expensive but as the pad is free it should be bought by op.

0ph0rce0

My 6 year old has an ipad, I bought an older generation second hand but she loves it.

Obviously she's not on it all day and night. But comes in handy for the rainy days where she can't go out and play and jump in the muck.

Great when your travelling too. For movies and what not.

When she's not using one of the family always picks it up to browse on, read on, watch TV, listen to music.

I find it very hard to believe you and your husband won't get any use out of it because "it's his only" I guarentee you'll be on it more the the child :-)

Great present in my opinion

theteal

Any tablet would be good for a 6 yr old. The ipad is overkill but people fall for the marketing so what can you do? OP, it's a nice gift, I think you need to look beyond the cost of it and just see it as a gift. A tablet is a tablet to kids that age. I think you're looking too much into the potential jealousy aspect.

Also our finances are terrible at present and it seems as though an ipad for a child in a house where the parents are struggling seems a tad mad.

Nobody needs to know about your finances. It was a gift, it was a prize, it fell off a truck, we saved up to get it. . . .who cares? Nobody's business.

coolbeans

Gaygooner wrote: »

I sense a bit of green eyed monster here

Mean spirited comment tbh.

ted1

Gaygooner wrote: »

Technology should be embraced

*relevant and suitable * technology should be embraced

Gaygooner

ted1 wrote: »

Well I suppose it's the difference between a electrician and a DIY guy posting in the electrical forum ...


Kids can't live in bubbles, they'll burst them...

You don't need any qualifications to have a child, and giving birth alone doesn't make you an expert - there are lots of very bad parents

Moonbeam

We have a lot of technology around the house,phones, laptops,ipad,samsung galaxy tab.
They all belong to us and not the kids.
Other then my phone none of them are in rugged cases and they have lasted that last few years.
We let the kids play with them sometimes,the 6,4 and 2 year olds are well able to use them and the one year old is not far off.
The 2 older ones use ipads in school sometimes and the 6 year old does computers after school.
Even though they are well able to use them and do get educational value out of them the only device that any of them have been allowed to get is a Kindle.
I personally think that they are too young and that their time on them should be very limited.

Gaygooner

coolbeans wrote: »

Mean spirited comment tbh.

It was frank not mean spirited - I got from her tone that they felt they child shouldn't have nice things if they don't have them

ted1

Gaygooner wrote: »

You don't need any qualifications to have a child, and giving birth alone doesn't make you an expert - their are lots of very bad parents

That's why most companies look at people's experiences rather than qualifications when there employing them. And unless you have your own kids then your experience is limited .

drunkmonkey

Gaygooner wrote: »

You don't need any qualifications to have a child, and giving birth alone doesn't make you an expert - their are lots of very bad parents

And a huge amount of technophobes especially mammys

Del2005

wolfpawnat wrote: »

He bought it on request from the 6yo in front of him. How do I explain that away?

Did the 6 year old ask his Godfather for get it? You can't really blame him for getting something that was requested.

The only good thing is that because you have no Internet he'll be sick of it in 10 minutes so the chances of it being broken are low.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.