What will you definitely *not* miss? aka Rants about where you live now

Tom Dunne

It's interesting what both of you say about making friends and the importance of it - I couldn't agree more.

Here in the Middle East, it is a little different. Expats tend to stick together quite a bit, especially given the cultural differences (let's not beat about the bush here: drinking). When we moved here 7 years ago, we were extremely lucky in many ways that a large number (70) started work on the same day as me. While a majority of them are now gone, a core number have stayed and I would class them as good friends now. I believe it made a significant difference when we got here first - we were all in the same boat, most of us had generally the same outlook and essentially had strength in numbers.



That's not to say we haven't mixed with the locals, either. I have been to a local funeral (sadly), my wife has been to two weddings and we have been in many homes of locals. But having peer group does make a difference.

In other news - my countdown has begun. Not long now, roll on the summer. We spent last week back in Ireland making preparations in our house. No luck on the job front yet, though. I'm not panicking.

Yet.

CelticRambler

turnikett1 wrote: »

I don't know, maybe it's just the city I'm in. Maybe if I was in a different city things would've been different, better. Yet for some reason I doubt it.

I've just seen that you were planning to do an Erasmus course in Poitiers. Is that where you are? That'd explain a lot - Poitiers is a real student town, so chances are most of the people you meet are just as "out of their depth" as you are. Also, French students are renowned for not being very sociable - they rate each other as the worst possible room-mates out of all nationalities. :pac:

But I also saw (yeah, I checked out your posts ... :rolleyes: ) that you like Klezmer music. Pity you didn't say so before (well, you did, but you know what I mean) because I could have pointed you in the right direction. But if you *are* in Poitiers, before you go and so as not to leave France on a complete downer, get yourself to this event next Saturday: https://agendatrad.org/e_2016-04/poitou-night_11875.html (20km south of Poitiers)

If you happen to see a really tall young fellow (21-ish) there, by the name of Alexi, usually wears a kind of pale-coloured bowler hat, tell him Diarmaid's dad sent you! It's not Klezmer, but a good substitute. :cool:

Suaimhneach

CelticRambler, you are the BEST dude ever

universe777

Melbourne, Australia

Manners - they don't seem to exist here at all. They would rather try walk through you, push you off a train platform or push you onto the road than say excuse me and/or walk on the left.

Retail staff - probably the rudest I have ever encountered anywhere in the world. They all seem to have a rotten attitude and outwardly display an attitude of not wanting to bother/not wanting to serve you.

Australians - I can only speak for Melbourne having lived here for 6 years. Deep down they don't like foreigners. You can get to know them but that is only surface deep. You will always be another foreigner regardless of your skin colour or native speaking English. They stick together, very clannish. Them combined with a good % of the population not speaking English makes for a not great place to live.

I do love the weather here, lack of crime, cleanliness but the above points make my blood boil.

turnikett1

CelticRambler wrote: »

I've just seen that you were planning to do an Erasmus course in Poitiers. Is that where you are? That'd explain a lot - Poitiers is a real student town, so chances are most of the people you meet are just as "out of their depth" as you are. Also, French students are renowned for not being very sociable - they rate each other as the worst possible room-mates out of all nationalities.

But I also saw (yeah, I checked out your posts ... ) that you like Klezmer music. Pity you didn't say so before (well, you did, but you know what I mean) because I could have pointed you in the right direction. But if you *are* in Poitiers, before you go and so as not to leave France on a complete downer, get yourself to this event next Saturday: https://agendatrad.org/e_2016-04/poitou-night_11875.html (20km south of Poitiers)

If you happen to see a really tall young fellow (21-ish) there, by the name of Alexi, usually wears a kind of pale-coloured bowler hat, tell him Diarmaid's dad sent you! It's not Klezmer, but a good substitute.

Merci bien! Unfortunately Ive seen this post after the event took place... Thanks all the same. Yes I love klezmer and trad music in general, I was told that France has a great trad/folk scene but Ive met zero musicians here. Or well, musicians that want to play with me, rather

Yeah, I understand its probably due to Poitiers and not the rest of France. Im trying really hard to not make all the negative associations to do with France as a whole. Just a shame that I have to constantly remind myself that I dont hate French people I have some friends that I met outside of France who I get on great with, and I have met tons of lovely French people throughout my travels, but at the moment this city is clouding my perception of France a little bit.

To be honest I think Im a bit annoyed at my university too. I dont really like how I had zero say in the matter of where I was to study, and also how they repeatedly told us that its gonna be one of the best year of our lives, a real eye opening experience, etc etc all this load of waffle to get us excited. Ok, no point in telling us that its going to be a tough lonely boring year abroad but hey some acknowledgement that its not as rosy as its made out to be, perhaps! I had real high hopes. Also, they explicitly told us to try really hard to make friends with French speakers, and to not "fall into the trap" of befriending Anglophones and regularly English all the time. I tried to do exactly that, and intentionally distanced myself from the other Irish and English students here so I could focus on befriending French people, and well, in the end Ive been friends with neither All the other Anglophones have gotten to know each other really well and forged a nice close group of friends, I feel like I missed out and squandered an opportunity to befriend some people because our lecturers warned us to not do that...

Im probably just looking for excuses to be annoyed to be honest. As you can all tell, I am very frustrated And well, disappointed. More so the latter than anything. I didnt visit other cities while I was here, which is actually a real regret. All those weekends I spent drinking by myself in my room I couldve gotten to know OTHER places in France, where OTHER people live! Anyways, I am liberated in 2 weeks, and perhaps then I can reflect more clearly and will come to appreciate things about life here that I wont have in Ireland.

CelticRambler

turnikett1 wrote: »

Merci bien! Unfortunately Ive seen this post after the event took place... Thanks all the same. Yes I love klezmer and trad music in general, I was told that France has a great trad/folk scene but Ive met zero musicians here. Or well, musicians that want to play with me, rather

Second time lucky? Not as good a band as Ciac Boum, but not too bad all the same: https://agendatrad.org/e_2016-04/vendeuvre-fete-catalpa_12319.html (just north of Poitiers this time).

turnikett1 wrote: »

Also, they explicitly told us to try really hard to make friends with French speakers, and to not "fall into the trap" of befriending Anglophones and regularly English all the time. I tried to do exactly that, and intentionally distanced myself from the other Irish and English students here so I could focus on befriending French people, and well, in the end Ive been friends with neither All the other Anglophones have gotten to know each other really well and forged a nice close group of friends, I feel like I missed out and squandered an opportunity to befriend some people because our lecturers warned us to not do that...

To be fair to the university, I would have said exactly the same. What they obviously didn't tell you is that the French are not naturally friendly (not compared to the Irish) and neither are they any good at giving you information that you *need* if you don't ask for it ... which you won't, because you don't know that you need it because they haven't told you ... :rolleyes: In the early days, you have to work **really** hard, and make a nusiance of yourself, until people start to think of including you in the bouche-à-l'oreille network.

turnikett1 wrote: »

Anyways, I am liberated in 2 weeks, and perhaps then I can reflect more clearly and will come to appreciate things about life here that I wont have in Ireland.

It's a real shame that you've managed to miss out on the whole (unpromoted, practically invisible) trad music scene, which is pretty vibrant around Poitiers. (Note the use of the word "around" - all the best trad in France is to be found in pokey little villages, rarely in the towns).

Are you obliged to go home tout de suite? Any chance you could come back? Specifically for mid-July? I can give you a week's work as a volunteer in one of our great trad festivals - free food and all the music your ears can bear

turnikett1

CelticRambler wrote: »

Second time lucky? Not as good a band as Ciac Boum, but not too bad all the same: https://agendatrad.org/e_2016-04/vendeuvre-fete-catalpa_12319.html (just north of Poitiers this time).

Interesting, I'll look into it! Just need to find a way to and from is all!

CelticRambler wrote: »

It's a real shame that you've managed to miss out on the whole (unpromoted, practically invisible) trad music scene, which is pretty vibrant around Poitiers. (Note the use of the word "around" - all the best trad in France is to be found in pokey little villages, rarely in the towns).

Are you obliged to go home tout de suite? Any chance you could come back? Specifically for mid-July? I can give you a week's work as a volunteer in one of our great trad festivals - free food and all the music your ears can bear

That sounds fantastic and I would really love to, however when I go home in 2 weeks I plan on spending the entire summer there! I'm gonna need some "cool off" time, I don't see myself coming back to France in the forseeable future :P What festival is that by the way? I definitely need to check out some trad festivals in France, I've heard there's some bloody great ones! Alas, there is plenty in Ireland I must also attend to... (Fleadh Ceoil is on in my hometown this year!)

Tipperary Fairy

universe777 wrote: »

Melbourne, Australia

Manners - they don't seem to exist here at all. They would rather try walk through you, push you off a train platform or push you onto the road than say excuse me and/or walk on the left.

Retail staff - probably the rudest I have ever encountered anywhere in the world. They all seem to have a rotten attitude and outwardly display an attitude of not wanting to bother/not wanting to serve you.

It's funny, my experience of Melbourne has been the exact opposite on these two matters. Just recently got to Sydney and the comparison is mind blowing. Road users are so nice and courteous in Melbourne, but here they don't give a ****, in fact some see you as a target.
And customer service there is beyond belief, suffocatingly nice.