Completely ashamed of my appalling eating habits!

LegacyUser

Awww, thanks guys.

So, I've been doing alright I think!

Yesterday I was with my boyfriend and we went for our usual burger-and-chips lunch in a restaurant, so not particularly healthy, but a meal nonetheless - then in the eveningtime, I made myself a smoothie in the blender (apple, carrot, banana and spinach like a previous poster advised! Not bad at all tbh, the taste of the banana is so overpowering you wouldn't even know there was spinach or carrot in it!) and then I made my own dinner - a chicken noodle stirfry thing. Literally just fried some chicken, fried some mushrooms, cooked some of those 4 minute noodles and chucked it all together with a cheapo premade sauce. I was really nervous and totally mucked up all the timings and undercooked the mushrooms and overcooked the chicken but... it was edible and I ate it. And I kind of know what to improve for next time

Today has been a chicken fillet roll from the shop, another one of those fruit and vegetable smoothies and I think I'll make some rice with chicken and a pre-made sauce for dinner. Cooking chicken makes me quite nervous but I suppose the only way I'll get over that is to keep doing it.

Thanks for all the replies. Reading through them all has made me really hungry actually - I actually want pasta pesto and homemade soup now, if only I had the ingredients! I'll get them in my weekend shop

Just in case anyone was counting... no sweets/chocolate in 2 days! I'm not even trying to go cold turkey or anything, I just suppose this thread has been inspiring!

Anyway, I won't bore you all by turning this into some sort of daily food diary or anything, I just wanted to let you know that I have listened to your advice!

Makapakka

Well done, you should be proud of yourself.

Shrap

disgusting345 wrote: »

Anyway, I won't bore you all by turning this into some sort of daily food diary or anything, I just wanted to let you know that I have listened to your advice!

Wouldn't kill us to hear what you eat tomorrow though! I certainly enjoyed hearing about your smoothy and stir-fry .....well done you! What you going to eat in the morning?

LegacyUser

I'm torn between a fruit + vegetable smoothie, a bowl of Cheerios with milk, or toast with some mushed avocados... even though I'm not sure if my avocados have gone bad or not!

Ah, my riveting life.

I'm AWFUL for skipping breakfast (I skipped it today) so I'll have to REALLY force myself to get something into me, but motivation is at a high at the moment so I'm feeling like I can do it! If I utterly fail I'll just bring a banana into work or something, but I'm hoping I'll manage something more substantial!

I already feel physically healthier although I know it's 100% the placebo effect at this point :P

coolcat63

So glad you gave the smoothies a go

Avocados (fine even if they've gone a bit mushy) make smoothies really creamy and if you don't like the taste of veggies initially just chuck in a fruit yoghurt as a disguise! I hated beetroot with a passion for 50 years but now gulp them down as they are a real super food and are actually nice once you've mixed them with apple. Just a note of caution though, don't buy ready made smoothies as they are loaded with extra sugar and preservatives. As you've found - home made is easy so start experimenting. I did 18 months ago after getting fed up with a lack of energy on a diet very similar to yours and it took less than a week to feel the benefits.

Good luck lovie.

How Strange

Op, I haven't read all the replies but you've gotten some excellent advice. One of the posters said you're self harming and I think I'd agree with that. I think you'd benefit from counselling. You don't need to be referred by your gp, just google counsellors in your area. I think you've very low self esteem and that won't go away until you address it directly.

As for your diet, I see you're taking small steps and that's fantastic. One of the things about low self esteem is that you expect perfection from yourself and anything less makes you a failure, in your own eyes. So stop striving for perfection in anything in your life. Do the best you can at the time and feel proud of what you've done. So if one day you manage to get through the day with a breakfast and a dinner but skipped lunch then congratulate yourself for that. If you sit down and eat crap later that day draw a line under it and move on to tomorrow.

I used to be a secret binge eater too and people who know me now would be shocked as they think I'm super healthy. I'm not as I'm still a demon for crisps and jellies but I don't eat them so much anymore. Baby steps of moving towards a better diet will make you feel physically better and that improvement will encourage you to eat healthier foods in general. Changing your diet is a long process and it's not about being faddy and eating the latest trendy health foods. It's about finding a diet that works for you 80% of the time.

I really think you've two big things going on for you and addressing your daily eating habits will help your self esteem and confidence. However I think you've a pattern of negative thinking and self loathing that needs to be addressed through counselling. You mightn't be ready to do counselling just yet but you may consider it in the future.

stop animal cruelty

This is a really good thread... I'm quiet similar to u op...but its in the last few weeks iv really let myself go ....I find what makes me worse if I'm at home all day with nothing to do or if there's a pack of biscuits in the house of tear into them even tho I'm not hungry....this thread has opened my eyes big time about this being a self harm/ self esteem issue. As long as the crap food isn't in the house, get into good habits and realise u are only damaging yourself ...its a big step forward

HelgaWard

I think YouTube might help you. You can search for 'how to cook an egg' in YouTube you'll get simple tutorials on how to boil/fry/scramble etc an egg. People put up tutorials on how to do everything, I find it a really useful resource for everything from cooking to diy to hairstyles!!

A tip for trying to reduce your chocolate intake is to still allow yourself some. At one point in my life I was trying to loose weight and cut down the sweet stuff so every evening I would go for a walk, I usually would take the long way to the shop, buy a curly wurly or a chomp or a Freddo sized bar and then walk home, and have a cup of Tea and my treat. I did not have the will power to buy a packet of curly wurlys with my shopping and have one every day (I Would have eaten all of them in one sitting). Throughout the day if I was tempted to buy chocolate I'd just remind myself that I could have my bar later after my walk with my cup of tea. Anyway it really worked for me.

Wishing you the best of luck OP, it is not easy to change the habits of a lifetime, but it sounds like you have reached the point where you know you need to do it for yourself. It might be no harm to get a set of bloods done with the GP/Nurse just to see if you are lacking in anything. And also a dental check might be worth while.

Lux23

I think going to see your GP will be a step in the right direction, really you just need to start eating proper meals as your diet is going to catch up with you now that you're getting a little older. I had a similar issue when I was younger and going to a dieting group helped me to see the value in eating a proper meal. I still eat crap from time to time and I am by no means slim, but I learned how to eat a proper meal.

kylith

Just so you know OP. It's not just the placebo effect making you feel good. Your diet would have been seriously deficient in nutrients and now you're eating better your body is rewarding you for it. Enjoy! The more good-for-you stuff you eat the better you'll feel.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,
Fair play to you for coming on here and voicing your concerns - thats half the battle.
I have had history with eating problems.. It was a long road - but the point is, I have learnt a lot while trying to deal with them.
There are a lot of dimensions to your issue - physical, nutritional, psychological, sociological, emotional - this is not just about diet.
I do not want to scare you - but apart from the sugar addiction - which is up there with nicotine, there is a psychological connection to your eating habits. And the fact that you are beating yourself up about it, is another matter. You are not just worried about your health, or the hungry - it seems you feel disgust with yourself. And I can see from your replies on here - and your general way of communicating - that you are a perfectionist.. so I can pretty much imagine how you are being hard on yourself - but this is at the cost of your self esteem.

While you are making changes and that is fantastic - you will still need to deal with the underlying issues. I would really advise you to go to a good GP. I really think that you need to talk this through with the correct professional.

I do not want to scare you - but you have been so sincere here, I feel I owe the same to you.

be good to you,..

colossus-x

Just on the sugar thing and echoing what seamus and other have said but from a personal perspective:

I have a sweet tooth and I would easily scoff down a pack of wagon wheels or a packet of biscuits in one sitting. A lot more than that sometimes too. Fortunately I've been keeping fit besides so weight gains were under control somewhat but not to the body-fat percentage I wanted.

I decided to go on a low-carb diet for a while so wasn't specifically giving sugar up per-se but as sugar is a carb like pasta or bread I had to cut out ALL the sweet stuff for the low carb diet to work. What happened was that my craving for sugar completely disappeared in about 2 to 3 weeks. This made me realise how addictive sugar is. I recall my legs would take me to the supermarket to buy usually 3 items of junk as if they had a life of their own despite my head saying I don't want to do this. THAT'S how addictive sugar is and the funny thing is you don't think your are addicted at the time or realise how it effects your conciousness making you do things you don't really want to do. When you realise this you should also realise that your being way too hard on yourself OP.

Six months later I've lost a lot of weight and it's so nice to eat a meal without the sugar craving kicking in afterwards. IMO the only ppl who can eat junk food occasionally are the people who only ever ate it occasionally and never got addicted to it in the first place. I am not one of those people so I intend to stay off it forever. I really really don't miss it. I will only ever allow myself to eat some home baked cake my mum makes and not that supermarket garbage with it's dizzily high sugar content and hydrogenated vegetable fat found in chocolate bars that's sooo bad for you.

I'm not saying it's easy. I had to find things to nibble on after meals like nuts but in time I found I didn't need those either. Good luck.