"Useless man" criticism from women

BrianD3

I touched on this a few years ago in this thread
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056130594

It really, really annoys me if a woman describes me as (or implies that I am) "useless". I think many men will know what I'm talking about. Often this alleged uselessness is in relation to relatively unimportant DIY tasks or housework.

Sometimes, the task is something the accuser can't do herself. Other times she could do it better/faster but asks you to do it - then criticises when you don't meet her standard. If you predict that this will happen and refuse to do the task, you get criticised anyway as useless. A form of sh*t test? Related to hypergamy?

I rarely hear men describing women in these sort of terms. Does this pattern backup the viewpoint that a man's utility value rather than his other qualities is what is important to many women.

From dictionary.com

utility
"the state or quality of being useful; usefulness"
"something useful; a useful thing"

So it does seem that if we're using the terms useful or useless, we are talking about utility value.

It's also annoying when I hear other men being criticised in this way behind their backs. A good recent example would be from a girl I know, I noticed that the tyres on her car were badly worn so pointed it out. She thanks me and tells me that her husband is "completely useless" when it comes to cars. Yet here was a 40 year old woman with her own job, money and car and driving for over 20 years - yet not bothering/able to check her own tyres - then telling another man that her husband is useless because he didn't do it. If I were her husband, I'd be livid.

I actually have less interaction with women than many men - I'm not married or in a relationship and don't have many female friends or acquaintances and don't have to put up with much of this crap. It's one reason why I am averse to marriage.

When I was growing up I clearly remember that my mother was very critical of both me and my father. On many occasions while growing up I would hear my father say in a downtrodden way, "I can do nothing right", this may be where my sensitivity to this sort of criticism comes from.

How much of a role does the media and advertising play in this. Many ads portray men as morons and women as competent and efficient. I've often thought about whether the ads are reflecting attitudes or whether the ads are influencing attitudes (i.e. are women who spend every evening watching bullsh*t on TV being brainwashed by it) or both.

Ave Sodalis

I definitely think your past is skewing your view now. As a woman, I've heard something similar from both genders and more towards women than men. However, I know this is only my experience so I'm not starting threads about how men expect women to be in kitchens, and expect them to be useless at mechanical things etc. I also don't think it's just a female to male thing but also a male to male thing. Taking your car example, if you saw a woman trying to change a tyre, how many people do you think would stop to help as opposed to if a man was changing a tyre?

smash

In the past I've disagreed with someone who then told me to "just be a man about it" and I swiftly told her to go fcuk herself. But that was her, not all women.

ongarboy

BrianD3 wrote: »

I
I actually have less interaction with women than many men - I'm not married or in a relationship and don't have many female friends or acquaintances and don't have to put up with much of this crap. It's one reason why I am averse to marriage.

When I was growing up I clearly remember that my mother was very critical of both me and my father. On many occasions while growing up I would hear my father say in a downtrodden way, "I can do nothing right", this may be where my sensitivity to this sort of criticism comes from.

How much of a role does the media and advertising play in this.

As a guy, I can say media influence has some very small role but the parts of your post I quoted above are the real reason you have this very unhealthy attitude towards women. I'm actually surprised you have any female friends based on your attitude. Yes, some women can say very derogatory things about men and ridicule men by mocking their lack of traditional masculine traits and ideals because they know that can be a sore point for many guys. However, you seem to be avoiding the fact that some men can equally make many derogatory and sexist comments about women in equal measure. Why aren't you upset about those injustices?

You've acknowledged that you are sensitive to this type of criticism based on your upbringing and lack of female role models in your life or even getting to know women as people or friends rather than just of a different gender. I suggest you focus on resolving your root cause for this hang up as it seems that by tarnishing women in general like this does you no favours and makes you come across as an angry, frustrated individual which is no fun for you or anyone around you I would think. Such misplaced anger is so unnecessary and life is too short to be wound up like that.

tashiusclay

If they think they can do it better than you, then shake off the burden of expectation and permanently drop tools and leave them to it, attitudes may change somewhat for the better then.

smash

ongarboy wrote: »

Yes, some women can say very derogatory things about men and ridicule men by mocking their lack of traditional masculine traits and ideals because they know that can be a sore point for many guys.

I honestly don't think that a lot of women know it's a sore point for some guys. I think it's their genuine expectation of men. More so in women coming from the country where they were raised with fathers and brothers who worked on farms etc.

silverharp

Adverts routinely show men as idiots which is annoying . and somehow arguing that it makes up for sexist adverts against women in the past doesn't make sense. Isn't one of the rabbo adverts "any bank" the man is the idiot with his money and the punch line is that the wife tuns off with the gardiner or the guy that can't so much as hold on to his last pringles when the 2 girls distract him.
In real life I haven't seen the behaviour too much but oddly did hear a comment last week where the wife said that her husband would climb over a mess in the kitchen to get to the fridge and we were all expected to laugh. Yet the thought of demeaning my wife in public wouldn't happen ever. And also in the same conversation another woman made a joke about his wife checking his shirt for lipstick because he got back late in the evening from a foreign business trip. Come to think of it maybe I tune this sh1t out more than I think....

Second Toughest in_the Freshers

guy that can't so much as hold on to his last pringles when the 2 girls distract him.

yer clutching at straws there... :rolleyes:

silverharp

Second Toughest in_the Freshers wrote: »

yer clutching at straws there... :rolleyes:

Sorry I don't keep a note in my diary , I'm not outraged enough . I'm sure someone has put a list together.
But you would agree the rabbo advert is pretty sexist especially when more credit card debt is held by women.

fits

Ah come on. I often hear guys slagging off their wives in their absence. It's not nice behaviour from anyone Imo.

silverharp

fits wrote: »

Ah come on. I often hear guys slagging off their wives in their absence. It's not nice behaviour from anyone Imo.

My example was the husband there to hear it as well. Lord knows what goes on in those evil covens called book clubs......

ancapailldorcha

fits wrote: »

Ah come on. I often hear guys slagging off their wives in their absence. It's not nice behaviour from anyone Imo.

I've heard women come out with nonsense like "men can't multitask, they're useless, etc..." while men will often espouse drivel like "the master, she who must be obeyed, etc...".

silverharp

this is a hoot of an advert, I think the "banned" just means they got complaints and stopped showing it. I'd imagine the advert would have been fine if they reversed the sexes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BL3Hs0G1jbM

fits

yeah not seeing the humour there to be honest with you.

Littlehorny

I have worked in construction and maintenance jobs all my life and have to say i agree with the OP. The amount of times i have gone into strangers and friends houses to do something and have the wife call her husband useless while he is standing there is staggering.
Just cause i am "handy" and have all the tools needed for a certain job doesn't make your man any lesser, I left college after two years and never went back, instead worked on building sites. Would this not make me foolish or useless?
Anyway i just don't like seeing men put down in this way, a man would be considered an ignorant pig if he done that to his wife in front of others. A neighbour of mine who works in I.T and has no DIY experience got me to do a couple of jobs and the wife done the same thing, oh such and such is "useless", here is a guy with a degree and i know from talking to him gets paid 65 euro an hour as an I.T consultant, hardly "useless", is he?

fits

I would never never do that to my lovely husband. Not least because he is very handy but also I believe in presenting a united front to the world. Because we are in it together.

I would also be extremely disappointed if he spoke like that about me, either in my presence or otherwise.

doctorchopper

"If the women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy" Quote from the red green show (Canadian show)

Fukuyama

Nothing worse than hearing somebody put down their husband/wife/girlfriend etc.... We could pour over the details of the OP's point when it comes to gender etc... but I think you'd end up looking for something to get offended about.

My mates ex used to put him down in front of our "group" a lot. Definite red flag anytime I see that kind of behaviour. It shows a ****ty attitude and a bad personality. These same types are normally the ones who have never gained a single skill in their entire life. And it's a good policy to not let them know you're a DIYer/good with computers/good with cars etc... or they'll be calling you every time there's a problem instead of improving themselves.

FortySeven

tashiusclay wrote: »

If they think they can do it better than you, then shake off the burden of expectation and permanently drop tools and leave them to it, attitudes may change somewhat for the better then.

Tried this a few weeks ago after becoming sick of the comments. The final straw was when she had a go about having to cook dinner. I was working full time and spending every other waking hour renovating our house.

Resulting in an argument where she called me all the scumbags under the sun. I moved to another room to get away from it and now have the in laws living here against my wishes and she has been to court to get a barring order! She won't get one but she has certainly stopped me from having any response due to the preliminary protection order.

My relationship is now over, kids are going mad, she holds all the cards and I'm paying a mortgage on a house where I am essentially hiding in a bedroom to keep out of it.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057446634

That is just a small record of some of the work I was doing, it in no way reflects the amount of learning, researching, buying tools and supplies and countless other small tasks I was doing at the time. Useless, not quick enough, not doing it right etc.

Being a man is not funny atm.:(

I guess I can do little more than be thankful for the fact that nothing of what the OP or Littlehorny describe is recognisable in the world I live in. My partnered or married friends and relatives simply do not act like the OP describes. Of either sex. Not doubting it happens of course - do not get me wrong - I just do not see it or recognise it.

I built a house for example. Essentially just me - myself - on my land. An insane project that was a steep learning curve for me in terms of things like wiring - plumbing and all sorts. My friends and family - again both sexes - made lots of congratulatory comments during and after the project. Not once did I hear one of them say anything along the lines of "Jaysus well done - maybe teach himself/herself a bit of that will ya - useless thing can not even change a lightbulb........." or any of the other such comments you might expect reading this thread.

My girlfriends can not cook an omelette or even oven pizza without burning it or damaging the kitchen in some way. So I do all the cooking. We mutually joke about this some time but I have never seen fit to describe them as useless at it. Let alone describe THEM as "useless" in general. They have their strengths above and beyond mine. I have some above and beyond them. It is the joy of being individual. We have never derided each other for those things. We celebrate instead the strengths and how we are made stronger by bringing them together as a unit.

So I guess anecdotes are just that - anecdotal. The OP should watch for the risk of extrapolating a paltry quantity of anecdotes (and the OP quite clearly describes his direct experiences of the opposite sex are low) to any generalisation here.

The word "abuse" is so often over used too easily these days. And the OPs second last paragraph is MUCH too short to diagnose or assume anything. But if the mother figure was deriding and putting down her husband and child(ren?) to an excessive degree - to the point they were literally "downtrodden" in the face of it - it is quite likely the OP is a victim of what was essentially quite long term emotional abuse. And his attitudes and conclusions and relationships with women are a consequence of this.

There are few people who could endure much - let alone systematic and long term - derision and erosion of our self confidence in our self worth and capabilities - from someone that close to us or that important to us as a parent or spouse - without something going awry in our mind. I can only say if the OP wants to talk it through we are here - as are professionals if he requires something more private.

smash

FortySeven wrote: »

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057446634

That is just a small record of some of the work I was doing, it in no way reflects the amount of learning, researching, buying tools and supplies and countless other small tasks I was doing at the time. Useless, not quick enough, not doing it right etc.

What an epic thread. Well done man! no matter what she or anyone else says to you, you can rest assured that you are anything but useless!

Yea sorry to hear it FortySeven! I know the quantity of work I put in so I know exactly what you have done. For me I did it mostly for the pleasure and personal challenge. It was a second house on my land I built - not something we required or needed. It was a personal project.

Yet while it was FOR ME as a project - the praise and appreciation and general feeling of well being and happiness that comes when your partner acknowledges what you are doing - and even shows genuine interest in your project and wanting to know about it, be involved in it, and enjoy it along with you - it was icing on the cake. It puts you on top of the world.

So to be in a situation where - not only was I not doing it for me but for US - because I had to not because I wanted to - and getting not just no appreciation - but the exact polar opposite of it. I can only imagine what that would be like to be going through. Ouch.

But it sounds like it has - in your case - nothing at all with "Being a man is not funny atm." - and everything to do with you being unlucky enough to have married someone that has - in this regard at least as I do not know the person - apparently simply turned out to be an awful person. It is likely not your fault. Nor is there much chance it is the fault of your sex.

Hope it works out in the end. Keep us informed!

dandyelevan

My good wife constantly does this 'put down' stuff.
My most recent 'failing,' is that, apparently, and all of a sudden I'm the worst driver in Ireland...this from someone who never learned to drive at all.
I've been declared 'incompetent' because I refuse to mess with the house electric wiring system (I readily admit to knowing eff all about the mysteries of electricity)
And...God forbid she meets someone in town that might say something good about me !
'I met Mary in Dunne's today Dandy...you remember her...you fixed her bicycle last year?'..
.'Well anyway, she said you were a genius with your hands..but I soon set her straight'

To be honest - and I struggle not to sound judgemental in saying this but I mean to only sound genuinely unable to understand it - I do not even know how you can stay in a relationship like that. Of course I get ending a relationship is not easy - and even without kids, let alone with them - it is one of the hardest choices any of us may have to make. But in the face of that kind of lack of respect I would either be working very very hard to get to the root cause of it - perhaps with the third party assistance of a professional - because hurtful yet baseless criticism of this sort does tend more often than you would think to be caused by something entirely different the person is trying but failing to express - or I would be laying out the smoothest possible exist strategy from the relationship that I could.

Wizard!

When one is calling (derogatory) names the other, in any relationship, there are deeper problems to be solved. Usually, this happens late, and you should talk about and resolve the issues earlier, but maybe it is not too late. Relationship lucks respect, which is the fundamental element of a good relationship.

FortySeven

Deleted User wrote: »

To be honest - and I struggle not to sound judgemental in saying this but I mean to only sound genuinely unable to understand it - I do not even know how you can stay in a relationship like that. Of course I get ending a relationship is not easy - and even without kids, let alone with them - it is one of the hardest choices any of us may have to make. But in the face of that kind of lack of respect I would either be working very very hard to get to the root cause of it - perhaps with the third party assistance of a professional - because hurtful yet baseless criticism of this sort does tend more often than you would think to be caused by something entirely different the person is trying but failing to express - or I would be laying out the smoothest possible exist strategy from the relationship that I could.

In my own case, I have tried to keep this relationship going for the sake of the children, I have made drastic changes to my former self but it was never enough, I realise now that it never will be. I have suggested third party counselling but she refuses. I know well that I could fix this for a while if I just breakdown and take the blame, I have played this game before but I have had enough. It is now rental room and Saturday dad for me, it breaks my ****ing heart if I'm honest.

She has actually told me that she 'thought she could change me' yet seems incapable of realising that I don't want to be that man. I am happy being me.

Wizard!

I don't know if it's silly or sad for a woman, trying to change a man, who originally fall in love with...

FortySeven

FortySeven wrote: »

In my own case, I have tried to keep this relationship going for the sake of the children, I have made drastic changes to my former self but it was never enough

Again - sorry to hear it. I guess there is no loftier reason to stick it out is there? For the sake of the children - what reason could be better?

And in many cases it is the right decision and reason too. But for many others too I think they lose sight of the fact that keeping a miserable relationship together - for the sake of the children - is actually harmful to the children. Because being in that environment has all levels of impact on them intellectually and emotionally. And of course children pick up on more aspects and signs and signals of it than you think. Look at the OP for example and the "I can do nothing right" comment from his father.

And I think - and in a couple of cases I have seen myself - there are times where the children are not just better off - but genuinely happier - after the relationship has ended and restructured. But of course the success of THAT is dependant on all kinds of variables. I certainly wish you well and hope you are one of those cases! As I say - if you wish - keep us informed.

I can do little but hope it is never a decision I ever have to face. With 2 of a 4 planned children - there are not too many futures I can imagine I would like to avoid more than the break down of the relationship.

Littlehorny

FortySeven wrote: »

In my own case, I have tried to keep this relationship going for the sake of the children, I have made drastic changes to my former self but it was never enough, I realise now that it never will be. I have suggested third party counselling but she refuses. I know well that I could fix this for a while if I just breakdown and take the blame, I have played this game before but I have had enough. It is now rental room and Saturday dad for me, it breaks my ****ing heart if I'm honest.

She has actually told me that she 'thought she could change me' yet seems incapable of realising that I don't want to be that man. I am happy being me.

So sorry to read this FortySeven, in my own post earlier some of the women done it teasing and slagging their men but some you could see meant the criticism and were nasty. As you said you can't change people, you can't and shouldn't have to change and you aren't going to change your ex either.
Try to see the long game, it will be for the best for you in the end. Chin up and best of luck.:)

smash

FortySeven wrote: »

In my own case, I have tried to keep this relationship going for the sake of the children, I have made drastic changes to my former self but it was never enough, I realise now that it never will be.

There's too many miserable men out there who try and makes things work for the sake of their children. It's never worth it. If you want your children to grow up to know the real you, then you have to become the real you again and be happy with or without her.

And don't fall for the Saturday dad thing. The children are as much yours as they are hers. You have more rights given that you're married too. Do not let her dictate that you're going to be a part time father.

tomatofruit

DONAL !!!!!

FortySeven

Thanks guys. I don't want to hijack this thread into a 'poor me'. Just came across this thread on the front page and it jumped out at me, this is where that behavior can lead.

To be fair, I had my issues in the past. She put up with it so I won't slate her, there are always two sides. I sorted those issues years ago though and now realise the relationship was flawed from day 1. This behavior has just hastened the demise.

I won't post more, it is not really relevant to the subject topic.

FortySeven

smash wrote: »

There's too many miserable men out there who try and makes things work for the sake of their children. It's never worth it. If you want your children to grow up to know the real you, then you have to become the real you again and be happy with or without her.

And don't fall for the Saturday dad thing. The children are as much yours as they are hers. You have more rights given that you're married too. Do not let her dictate that you're going to be a part time father.

Not married, she will dictate.

Sorry, said I wasn't going to post but this was already up.

Potatoeman

dandyelevan wrote: »

My good wife constantly does this 'put down' stuff.
My most recent 'failing,' is that, apparently, and all of a sudden I'm the worst driver in Ireland...this from someone who never learned to drive at all.
I've been declared 'incompetent' because I refuse to mess with the house electric wiring system (I readily admit to knowing eff all about the mysteries of electricity)
And...God forbid she meets someone in town that might say something good about me !
'I met Mary in Dunne's today Dandy...you remember her...you fixed her bicycle last year?'..
.'Well anyway, she said you were a genius with your hands..but I soon set her straight'

Next time she talks about your driving just say "Yes miss Daisy".

the evasion_kid

FortySeven wrote: »

Tried this a few weeks ago after becoming sick of the comments. The final straw was when she had a go about having to cook dinner. I was working full time and spending every other waking hour renovating our house.

Resulting in an argument where she called me all the scumbags under the sun. I moved to another room to get away from it and now have the in laws living here against my wishes and she has been to court to get a barring order! She won't get one but she has certainly stopped me from having any response due to the preliminary protection order.

My relationship is now over, kids are going mad, she holds all the cards and I'm paying a mortgage on a house where I am essentially hiding in a bedroom to keep out of it.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057446634

That is just a small record of some of the work I was doing, it in no way reflects the amount of learning, researching, buying tools and supplies and countless other small tasks I was doing at the time. Useless, not quick enough, not doing it right etc.

Being a man is not funny atm.:(

"It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house."

chin up man

hatchman

FortySeven wrote:

Sorry, said I wasn't going to post but this was already up.

FortySeven I will miss your posts on your house renovation followed it with great interest. I am gutted for you so much hard work ! As said in other post chin up things will get better and get sorted. U are far from useless man

Wibbs

hatchman wrote: »

U are far from useless man

Aye, I'd be fairly handy, but compared to 47 I'm an effin amoeba crawling on a B&Q sign.

jimgoose

Putting up with bullying and abuse "for the sake of the children" is a fool's errand and immensely damaging for everyone involved, most particularly the children. 47, and everyone else trapped thus: blow the canopy and eject. Now. Leave it to the mad fcuker and the in-laws. It's vastly better in the long run.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Fair play FortySeven, from reading that other thread you're well handy to say the least!

As for your attitude, I admire it. Take care.

cantdecide

I'm kind of going off on a tangent with this but IMO it's related to this idea of never being good enough or the capability to do something worthwhile.

When I think about my most recent relationship I remember me trying my damnedest to please her despite being under intense pressure elsewhere in my life. Rather than being understanding or encouraging or even just giving me a little leeway to be a bit disappointing, I found myself apologising for my shortcomings. In my case, I believe she just felt entitled to the perfect bf regardless of how many hands were tied behind how many backs.

professore

I think that you get this kind of criticism if you put up with it or try to "be better". I used to be like that. Now I just call her out on it, and she actually apologises. If she was genuinely a bitch about it I wouldn't put up with it, nor would I expect her to put up with putdowns from me. It's about RESPECT. It's a 2 way street.

smacl

FortySeven wrote: »

She has actually told me that she 'thought she could change me' yet seems incapable of realising that I don't want to be that man. I am happy being me.

Some women do seem to have the crazy notion that men are there to be domesticated. Delighted to hear you're happy in your own skin, haven't succumbed to the bullying, and won't be changing anytime soon. Keep it up and keep happy.

Plenty of things I do badly, including DIY, enthusiastic and all as I am. Plenty of stuff OH is crap at too so it evens out. Usually if OH is getting pissy about things she's having a bad time about something else, which is usually a good time for the pair of us to down tools and get shítfaced. Pretty much same with me, if I'm stressed, I'm a moody cnut and pretty much anything will set me off, so it is an indicator to take some time out. All too easy to forget to let off a bit of steam every now and again. Problem with being a couple or a family is that the OH is the nearest person to point the finger at if thinks aren't going well.

Lemming

o_0 It would appear that the dead are rising from their graves on Hallowe'en. Oh, phew, it's just a necro thread.

brickmauser

Heavy labour will always require brute strength.
Mining construction ship building oil drilling demolition agriculture etc required manpower and always will.
To overpower criminals and protect society will always require brute physical force to put on cuffs and force a thug into a prison van or cell.
Defending a country technology aside requires foot sloggers who dig in or march in full kit and often fight hand to hand with the enemy.
For those crucial jobs - you need men.
Women can do most other jobs just as good but simply put without men in the crucial areas I have described it ain't possible.

gctest50

brickmauser wrote: »

Heavy labour will always require brute strength.
Mining construction ship building oil drilling demolition agriculture etc required manpower and always will.
To overpower criminals and protect society will always require brute physical force to put on cuffs and force a thug into a prison van or cell.
Defending a country technology aside requires foot sloggers who dig in or march in full kit and often fight hand to hand with the enemy.
For those crucial jobs - you need men.
Women can do most other jobs just as good but simply put without men in the crucial areas I have described it ain't possible.

brickmauser wrote: »

Heavy labour will always require brute strength.

Mining ........

Jan_de_Bakker

Agree with you OP 100%, it is extremely annoying and degrading - Im lucky though I don't get it myself, but have witnessed it.
I guess it's because straight men are the last group that is still socially acceptable to ridicule without breaking the PC barrier.

I learned to drive by taking lessons from this 70 year old driving instructor (mad fella in Barcelona) who could be retired yet he continued working to be away from his wife, who always had him working errands like a slave, sitting in a car doing lessons was the only break he got.
He used to be always whining about the jobs she'd have him doing - not easy even for a young man.

Poor guy, but yeah men in society - viewed as utilities.

Jan_de_Bakker

Funny, just after posting I was watching some telly with my young son and Peppa Pig was on - jesus the way Daddy Pig is portrayed !!

Useless, clumsy, stupid .. "silly daddy" .. he is always the butt of the joke and portrayed as a bumbling moron.

What message is that sending out to young kids ?

And again, I think it's just the lazy option for the creators, they don't want to get into trouble with the PC crowd if they
slag off any other member - the representative adult male is the cheap & easy target.

lazybones32

Jan_de_Bakker wrote: »

Funny, just after posting I was watching some telly with my young son and Peppa Pig was on - jesus the way Daddy Pig is portrayed !!

Useless, clumsy, stupid .. "silly daddy" .. he is always the butt of the joke and portrayed as a bumbling moron.

What message is that sending out to young kids ?

And again, I think it's just the lazy option for the creators, they don't want to get into trouble with the PC crowd if they
slag off any other member - the representative adult male is the cheap & easy target.

Some Cork lad did a voiceover of Peppa Pig to rebalance the poor view that Daddy Pig is given

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=584193468433786&id=272798126239990&_rdr

Might watch it yourself first before watching it with your kid...

Jimmy Bottlehead

Jan_de_Bakker wrote: »

Funny, just after posting I was watching some telly with my young son and Peppa Pig was on - jesus the way Daddy Pig is portrayed !!

Useless, clumsy, stupid .. "silly daddy" .. he is always the butt of the joke and portrayed as a bumbling moron.

What message is that sending out to young kids ?

And again, I think it's just the lazy option for the creators, they don't want to get into trouble with the PC crowd if they
slag off any other member - the representative adult male is the cheap & easy target.

This is something that annoys me alright - it's prominent across countless ads, TV shows, movies and other media.

As for the useless thing, part of the problem I notice from reading previous posts is the willingness to take this nonsense.
I won't be spoken down to by a partner, whether it's on our own or in front of others. Respect is a two way street and a lack of it isn't acceptable. Now, there's joking which is different... But if something went wrong with plumbing or electrical that was beyond my level, and I got actual abuse over it, there'd be war.

Wibbs

Jimmy Bottlehead wrote: »

As for the useless thing, part of the problem I notice from reading previous posts is the willingness to take this nonsense./Respect is a two way street and a lack of it isn't acceptable. Now, there's joking which is different... But if something went wrong with plumbing or electrical that was beyond my level, and I got actual abuse over it, there'd be war.

This. So much this.