Being kind/nice - worth it?

Stheno

So I've made an effort recently to be nicer to people day to day, be it allowing a car through a jam, through to interacting more with colleagues, (I work in a place where we are all contractors working together to build a company)


So this week I made a bit more of an effort than normal, and my god that small bit of interaction has had huge returns

I did a few small things in my estimation that my colleagues really appreciated, and have now made a note to do so in future.

Have you ever experienced the same?

NachoBusiness

Any chance you lend me €100 via PayPal?

colm_mcm

Problem now is you have to keep it up or they'll notice.

jamesbere

You do know everyone you work with is probably freaked out because your acting so nice.

The Sidewards Man

Stheno wrote: »

through to interacting more with colleagues, (I work in a place where we are all contractors working together to build a company)

Ye should go on a spa day altogether.

Stheno

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Any chance you lend me €100 via PayPal?

Feck off and learn how to phish

colm_mcm wrote: »

Problem now is you have to keep it up or they'll notice.

Nah I think they are still in shock

jamesbere wrote: »

You do know everyone you work with is probably freaked out because your acting so nice.

They are, completely freaked out and wondering when I will return to my normal mental state.

Jim Bob Scratcher

Don't be to kind or nice OP. Some people will think you are weak and will try and take advantage.

The Sidewards Man

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Don't be to kind or nice OP. Some people will think you are weak and will try and take advantage.

Don't let them drop the hand Jim Bob.

Stheno

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Don't be to kind or nice OP. Some people will think you are weak and will try and take advantage.

Most people I work with think I am truly evil

jamesbere

Stheno wrote: »

Most people I work with think I am truly evil

Is that why your a Mod

Stheno

jamesbere wrote: »

Is that why your a Mod

No if you look at the forums I mod, it seems I'm a sucker

the evasion_kid

Not worth it,only setting yourself up to be steamrolled...

The Backwards Man

It costs just the same to be nice as it does to be hateful.

The Sidewards Man

Stheno wrote: »

No if you look at the forums I mod, it seems I'm a sucker

Do you still get to retain your social welfare entitlements?

Buona Fortuna

Stheno wrote: »

So I've made an effort recently to be nicer to people day to day, be it allowing a car through a jam, through to interacting more with colleagues, (I work in a place where we are all contractors working together to build a company)

I always think (OK not always ) do unto others as ....

On the driving thing the number of people that insist on "crossing the T" on a narrow junction near me so we're both blocked. Really get my fcuking goat.

Thank you I feel better already

OldGoat

Stheno wrote: »

So I've made an effort recently to be nicer to people day to day...

I only hope that you are playing a long game and that in a years time when you have them all lulled into a false sense of security and fuzzyness you'll pounce with the punchline and an evil laugh. Bwahahahahahaha

kfallon

I got a lift home from football last night, I get dropped about a 5 min walk from home. Had a gear bag with me to hold the ball, bibs etc in it. Anyway I got out of the car, crossed the road, threw the bag on my back and turned on the music on my phone.

About 5 seconds later a guy comes up behind me, taps me on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, you dropped this!".....it was my wallet

Apparently I'd not closed the front pocket of my bag and it fell out. I sincerely thanked him, it would have been a disaster to lose it. No access to Apartment block, bank card would have to be cancelled and re-issued, no access to work building or our section of the office. Plus about €40 gone in cash.

So it is worth it to do a kind deed, that guy could have just walked on by and left my wallet where it was (my keys were also in it and they prob would have been lost along the way too).

Anyway, if the guy who picked up my wallet is a boardsie or even a lurker.....thank you so much for doing the decent thing, it's saved me an awful lot of hassle for such a small, kind act. I appreciate it

Penn

For work a few years ago I had to park in a hotel car park. I knew I'd be there for 4, maybe 5 hours, and parking was €3 per hour so I took a fiver and a tenner.

While working, a guy came up to me and started talking to me. After a minute or two, he said he was going through a rough time and asked me for money to get some food. I gave him the fiver. While thanking me, he said he hoped it would come back double to me in the future.

After finishing what I was doing, went in to pay for my parking (only having the tenner on me, and my debit card). The parking was €15. I gave her the debit card, and she said it was okay, she'd give me the parking for free.

So by me being kind to the guy and giving him a fiver, I ended up with a tenner (like he said, he hoped it would come back double on me in the future). Whereas if I'd kept the fiver, I would have paid for the parking, as the receptionist wouldn't have needed to show kindness to me as I'd have had the cash to pay for the parking.

Obviously, things won't always happen in that sort of way, and I don't believe in karma or anything like that, but there's no real reason not to be kind/nice, even if there are no apparent rewards.

I like this (paraphrased) quote from Angel:
In the greater scheme or the big picture, nothing we do matters. There's no grand plan, no big win. If there is no great glorious end to all this, if - nothing we do matters, - then all that matters is what we do. 'cause that's all there is. What we do, now, today. All I wanna do is help. I wanna help because - I don't think people should suffer, as they do. Because, if there is no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness - is the greatest thing in the world.

Being nice/kind/generally not a cnut means that most people you interact with with be nice/kind/generally not a cnut in return. Definitely worth it.

P. Breathnach

It's even better if you do a good thing without thinking about whether it is worth something to you.

Harry Palmr

It cost nothing to be nice rather than nasty. Self worth is also boosted so you feel a bit better about things generally. I think its down to serotonin I think

gimmick

Of course it is worth it. Even from a purely selfish point if view.

If you have a dark cloud over your head and are acting the dick to people it will get you down. Being nice costs nothing and generally allows you have a cheerier disposition as a result of it.

ALiasEX

Except giving a woman your seat on a bus of course being kind is worth it.

Stheno

Stheno wrote: »

Being kind/nice - worth it?

I suppose it comes down to how you view the cost-benefit side of things. What it is you are doing to "be nice" and how you are valuing what you get from it.

So yes - I find it is worth it - purely because internally, before anything else comes into consideration - the feeling I get about myself and my actions is _already enough_ to pay any investment I have made in "being nice".

Any other benefits that come externally from it therefore are just icing on the cake and make it "more than worth it".

It appears in many cases to be scalable too. I have done some massively "nice" things in the past - which I somewhat blogged about on this forum - and some small things. And the return on investment has always been the same - internally and externally.

But there are limits of course

Whitewinged

Yes you should always be nice and respectful towards other people. It usually comes naturally. You can be nice without being a pushover.

Sometimes I guess people can take advantage or see someone as weaker if they are super nice but it's up to you to learn how to be assertive without being overbearing/mean.

Aongus Von Bismarck

While I don’t believe in karma, I do think that being kind and considerate to others is a great way to live your life.

In work I’ll often take a promising and hard-working young graduate or early professional under my wing and mentor them. Give up some of the vast knowledge I’ve gathered in my years working in banking. A number of these people have approached me and told me that I was the single biggest influence on their career. I didn’t have to do it, but it’s good to see a greenhorn develop into a formidable and astute banking professional.

I’m equally as kind with my family. I do believe that most other people would have written off my brother as a bad investment years back. Yet I still believe I can help him turn his life around, even as he hits 30. I’m always there with help and advice should he need it.

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

Pac1Man

Aongus I sincerely hope you are a real person and not a character.

fizzypish

I try to be nice (not sure how successfully) just so I can look at the man in the mirror and not be disgusted by him. What goes around does not come around but there's no point in making other peoples life a bit more difficult by being cnutish.

Pac1Man

Pac1Man wrote: »

Aongus I sincerely hope you are a real person and not a character.

Haha funny I have often found myself hoping the exact opposite.

But perhaps it is both. Sure are we all not a sensational and distilled caricature of ourselves on here

It's always worth being kind, as long as it's kindness for it's own sake. Anyone being kind in hope of something in return will eventually be disappointed.

People warm to considerate people, even something as simple as a wave of thanks to someone letting you out in traffic is usually received with a smile of appreciation. Life is more pleasant when you make the effort to make life more pleasant.

I can only imagine the bitterest of malcontents considering it not worth the effort to be nice.

Akrasia

Stheno wrote: »

Most people I work with think I am truly evil

You're not Killgrave by any chance?

whiskeyman

It's nice to be nice.

Although, I prefer to be nice to other nice people.
If you're not nice, you won't get any of my niceness!

If I see a dick of a driver going up a bus lane wanting to cut in front of me, they get funk right off if I'm going to let them in!
That and anyone driving a beemer...

Generally I'm "nice", getting a bit sick of dealing with arseholes though.

ChippingSodbury

whiskeyman wrote: »

Although, I prefer to be nice to other nice people.
If you're not nice, you won't get any of my niceness!

Try and be nice to everyone, especially those who may seem to be not so nice: sometimes all they're looking for is a bit encouragement. Don't let their miserableness(?) drag you down to their level...

whiskeyman

ChippingSodbury wrote: »

Try and be nice to everyone, especially those who may seem to be not so nice: sometimes all they're looking for is a bit encouragement. Don't let their miserableness(?) drag you down to their level...

Tried it.
Doesn't work.
Some people are just inherently dicks.

Buona Fortuna

whiskeyman wrote: »

Tried it.
Doesn't work.
Some people are just inherently dicks.

No that's just AH - irl people are grand so

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

eviltwin

I always try to be nice to people, it's the little things that make the difference. I find if you are a nice person you meet nice people.

fatknacker

I think most people are nice and kind for much of the time.

The ones who sing about doing something nice are the cvnts to look out for.

Hitchens

Stheno wrote: »

So I've made an effort recently to be nicer to people day to day, be it allowing a car through a jam, through to interacting more with colleagues, (I work in a place where we are all contractors working together to build a company)


So this week I made a bit more of an effort than normal, and my god that small bit of interaction has had huge returns

I did a few small things in my estimation that my colleagues really appreciated, and have now made a note to do so in future.

Have you ever experienced the same?

be yourself mate, just be yourself

dissed doc

Stheno wrote: »

So I've made an effort recently to be nicer to people day to day, be it allowing a car through a jam, through to interacting more with colleagues, (I work in a place where we are all contractors working together to build a company)


So this week I made a bit more of an effort than normal, and my god that small bit of interaction has had huge returns

I did a few small things in my estimation that my colleagues really appreciated, and have now made a note to do so in future.

Have you ever experienced the same?

Being nice is worth it, but that does not mean, not having the confidence to punch an asshole in the face when the situation calls for it.

To Elland Back

When you are nice to others, because that is the person you want to be, that's when you get the best reward. It's not important that the people affected by your good actions acknowledge it or not

Azalea

To Elland Back wrote: »

When you are nice to others, because that is the person you want to be, that's when you get the best reward. It's not important that the people affected by your good actions acknowledge it or not

To a point I guess. Sometimes people can be so ungracious - especially when driving, but most of the time people are gracious. Not saying they have to be falling over themselves with gratitude of course, but just not blatantly rude.

Other people's behaviour shouldn't stop you behaving like the best version of yourself. It is appreciated when they acknowledge a courtesy though.

cantdecide

I work in a large office where lots of people don't know each others names and the interactions are very strained a lot of the time. IMO, most 'kindness' is aimed at people like me, my friends and anybody I generally deem to be neat and excludes anyone I generally regard as a bit jerky based on my perceptions. There is little true kindness, IMO, but when you see it, it's unmistakable. There's a difference, IMO between being kind and being a kind person.

ToRamona

A kind word can make someones day, be nice and life will be good to you.

Riverireland

cantdecide wrote: »

I work in a large office where lots of people don't know each others names and the interactions are very strained a lot of the time. IMO, most 'kindness' is aimed at people like me, my friends and anybody I generally deem to be neat and excludes anyone I generally regard as a bit jerky based on my perceptions. There is little true kindness, IMO, but when you see it, it's unmistakable. There's a difference, IMO between being kind and being a kind person.

Totally. Would always encourage people to put the effort in though, fake it til you make it n all that.

sonny.knowles

It's nice to be nice. Good manners cost you nothing.

B.A._Baracus

The whole being nice / being a absolutely c word is a grey area.

I believe, which I reckon some people can relate too as well, is that you should be courteous and friendly to people unless you have a reason not to (ie, they're rude etc) It's just basic manners and it doesn't take much.

However and this is the grey area is that life is dog eat dog. People are selfish and self-involved. People are users. People dont care if everyone gets a slice of the pie as long as they get a big ol' fat piece for themselves.

Sure black friday is this week and for one example we will all see the crazy videos of people fighting over tv's in the united states. While saying "those bloody americans!" - But truth is... It aint the americans. That's life. That's people - "As long as i'm alright, jack"

So while on one hand you want to be kind but on the other.... why not be like the rest. Thats the grey area.

Mam of 4

ToRamona wrote: »

A kind word can make someones day, be nice and life will be good to you.

+100

It might be the only nice thing that happens to you , me , or anyone during that day.