People who are nearly always only positive are selfish.

paleoperson

They know people will react better when they're positive, that they'll get on their good side and stuff.

Then when some negativity comes along they're like "jesus christ, wtf how dare you".

A subsection of this scenario, is that some people are used to people always sucking up to them, and then they can't handle a bit of dissent and criticism and go medieval on the person giving it as if it's all their fault.

The_Valeyard

paleoperson wrote: »

They know people will react better when they're positive, that they'll get on their good side and stuff.

Then when some negativity comes along they're like "jesus christ, wtf how dare you".

A subsection of this scenario, is that some people are used to people always sucking up to them, and then they can't handle a bit of dissent and criticism and go medieval on the person giving it as if it's all their fault.

So.......Your saying you are a grumpy git???

sonny.knowles

I'm very selfish and am also fairly negative. Your theory of a load of balls.

Nothing worse than positivity and enthusiasm. Particularly in the workplace.

paleoperson

The_Valeyard wrote: »

So.......Your saying you are a grumpy git???

Sometimes I am, when it's warranted. I like to look at everything objectively. I think looking on the positive is silly, positivity is almost like a drug... makes you feel good for a while but ultimately superficial and flawed because it's biased.

Some people are positive optimists, it's hard to regard that as a negative character trait.

I'd rather be stuck in an elevator with someone with a positive frame of mind and belief in themselves and others, than some negative doom-monger who thinks everyone is out to get them.

sonny.knowles

Candie wrote: »

Some people are positive optimists, it's hard to regard that as a negative character trait.

I'd rather be stuck in an elevator with someone with a positive frame of mind and belief in themselves and others, than some negative doom-monger who thinks everyone is out to get them.

There's more than positive and negative. Positive people are hard work. I generally find that enthusiastic people are poor on delivering, something else new and shiny often catches their eye before the finish the current task.

sonny.knowles

sonny.knowles wrote: »

There's more than positive and negative. Positive people are hard work. I generally find that enthusiastic people are poor on delivering, something else new and shiny often catches their eye before the finish the current task.

There's a difference between positive and hyperactive.

The positive people that I work with always deliver, they're proactive. The negative ones are barely bothered to do anything, and they do it with maximum misery and drama. There's nothing more draining than a misery guts, they suck the life out of everyone around them with their gloom. They also tend to be lazy malcontents, complaining much more than positive people do, since they see only the worst side or scenario in any given situation.

Samaris

What a weird way to look at things.

It's better for you, and healthier, to be positive rather than negative, but overall, there's a happy medium (sorry, should I say a terrible, dark, depressing medium?) where one isn't positive to insane levels, but one also isn't a moody git.

RDM_83 again

sonny.knowles wrote: »

There's more than positive and negative. Positive people are hard work. I generally find that enthusiastic people are poor on delivering, something else new and shiny often catches their eye before the finish the current task.

Overly positive people in my experience tend to be pretty negative when you get down to it, they just internalize all the grump, worries and stresses rather than let it all out.

The Backwards Man

Dee doo, Dee doo, Dee doo De doo De doo

PARlance

A lot of the really positive people I know are the most depressed.

sonny.knowles

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Overly positive people in my experience tend to be pretty negative when you get down to it, they just internalize all the grump, worries and stresses rather than let it all out.

It's like fat people being jolly.

Azalea

Spot-on Samaris.

sonny.knowles wrote: »

Nothing worse than positivity and enthusiasm.

There's definitely definitely things worse.

Being extremely negative all the time is self absorbed and draining for others. Ditto being robotically chirpy and incapable of uttering anything negative or even just realistic.

Thankfully there's a middle ground.

Drumpot

sonny.knowles wrote: »

Nothing worse than positivity and enthusiasm. Particularly in the workplace.

What about People moaning about other people being positive and enthusiastic... In the workplace.

paleoperson

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Overly positive people in my experience tend to be pretty negative when you get down to it, they just internalize all the grump, worries and stresses rather than let it all out.

yeah, it's like how comedians are so often extremely depressed and suicidal.

finglashoop

Im a cynical realist.

sonny.knowles

Drumpot wrote: »

What about People moaning about other people being positive and enthusiastic... In the workplace.

As long as they aren't being too negative it's fine.

XR3i

paleoperson wrote: »

They know people will react better when they're positive, that they'll get on their good side and stuff.

Then when some negativity comes along they're like "jesus christ, wtf how dare you".

A subsection of this scenario, is that some people are used to people always sucking up to them, and then they can't handle a bit of dissent and criticism and go medieval on the person giving it as if it's all their fault.

tldr

Fluffy Cat 88

sonny.knowles wrote: »

It's like fat people being jolly.

I'm not always positive. I am always fat though :pac:‚

PTH2009

when my mother was dying i knew she was gong to die by my sister kept staying positive which annoyed me a little bit as it would just give me false hope.

when people are too positive there not being realistic and just dont want to hurt your feelings. a really positive person will say to an ugly person they will find love and they are good looking but the mr positive knws in there heads there bull****ting this person but doesnt want to tell the truth.

Id perfer if people be honest with one another rather than lying to each other

sonny.knowles

Fluffy Cat 88 wrote: »

I'm not always positive. I am always fat though 😂

Are you also always fluffy?

Fluffy Cat 88

sonny.knowles wrote: »

Are you also always fluffy?

No. I'm not even a cat...

XR3i

the world is ****ed the world is ****ed

Fleawuss

No. They're just bad electricians.

sonny.knowles

Fluffy Cat 88 wrote: »

No. I'm not even a cat...

But you are either 88 or were born in 1988?

Fluffy Cat 88

sonny.knowles wrote: »

But you are either 88 or were born in 1988?

No - I'm a 70's kid! My username is all lies!

Really positive people do my head in to be honest. Worked with several of them over the years, all an act imo.

However I think it's a sort of survival mechanism. Usually these people have plenty of sh1t in their lives and try to keep it under wraps by drawing attention to your own negatives.

It's like the girl in work with anorexia/bulimia who looks at your lunch and everyone elses - criticises "oh I wouldn't eat THAT!" ... "what are you having - OH NO!" to the lad with the salad -"being good today are ya John". As she shovels down 4 baked beans and half a slice of toast then disappears to the jacks to regurgitate it all.

People. Just let it in one ear and out the other. As you get older you give less of a sh1t about people in general.

Samaris

Crikey, I think I'd prefer to work with a bunch of cheerful pleasant people I can have a laugh with than doom-and-gloom positive-people-are-awful types.

Electric Sheep

You are suffering from Paddyitis - the belief that negativity and whingebagging are normal. Emigrate.

Sunnyisland

I like positive realistic people,


Like someone saying realies you going to die soon, but saying it with a happy face as its no big deal.sure it will happen to all of us :-)

Kev W

sonny.knowles wrote: »

But you are either 88 or were born in 1988?

Or a nazi. :pac:

Edited to add: Just so we're clear, I'm DEFINITELY kidding.

Whitewinged

I don't know if I relate the two, selfish and positivity. I've known very negative and very positive people who are both very self absorbed too.

I don't think anyone can be "only positive" and if they seem that way then it is usually obvious that they are acting. I would relate someone being mostly or abnormally positive to passive aggression. They usually find some roundabout way to show their negative side. Like a person who can't say "no" or finds it hard to express negative feelings or get into any conflict.

myshirt

The particularly annoying people are those who blame the government fo absolutely all their problems, or go around every day believing they are a victim of some elaborate conspiracy.

wakka12

I think your theory holds up for me. Cant say I know if its true for most though.

allibastor

People who are overly positive cant take criticism or people knowing more on a subject than them. Have seen it happen loads of times

Hammer89

Too much positivity is a bit silly, and very, very false. Facebook is a great place for this.

A 45-stone woman could upload a picture of herself in the bath, with lipstick where her mascara should be, mascara where her lipstick should be, and dogsh*t used as a fake tan substitute - and people will still say 'ah you look great Trish x'.

Well I am very much a sunshine and rainbows type, when something serious happened to me it did stand to me having the more positive view of the situation.

I find worst are the negatives with no insight the moaners drive you insane but they redeemed themselves if they occasionally laugh at themselves and realise their life is a constant pity party. Woe is me and Woe is my life combined with everyone is out for themselves is very draining.

A well know journalist wrote an article about his daughter who has Down syndrome and what jumped out at me was how he was undone at reviving goodness kindness and even love from state provided services, his inner cynicism would only allow him to believe that everyone is only out for themselves and only in it for the money. What a terrible way to live you life.

Fluffy Cat 88

Kev W wrote: »

Or a nazi. :pac:

Edited to add: Just so we're clear, I'm DEFINITELY kidding.

Jaysis! Just googled "88 Nazi!" I never knew that!

1988 was the year I finished school :S

seamus

I'm an optimistic realist. I plan for the most likely outcome and hope for the best.

For the OP and anyone else complaining about positive people, your experiences don't make a trend.

There are many different kinds of people who can be positive and negative. Lots of positive people use it cynically to manipulate people, lots of negative people use it to drag others down or to gather sympathy.

Likewise there are lots of people who are positive just because they are positive and people who are negative just because they're negative.

In fact the title is likely written by a negative person who cannot understand positivity and therefore assumes there must be something underhanded or cynical. Likewise when I encounter a negative person I usually just write them off as an annoying attention-seeking whinger, even though I know that's not the case for many.

seamus

seamus wrote: »

I'm an optimistic realist. I plan for the most likely outcome and hope for the best.

For the OP and anyone else complaining about positive people, your experiences don't make a trend.

There are many different kinds of people who can be positive and negative. Lots of positive people use it cynically to manipulate people, lots of negative people use it to drag others down or to gather sympathy.

Likewise there are lots of people who are positive just because they are positive and people who are negative just because they're negative.

In fact the title is likely written by a negative person who cannot understand positivity and therefore assumes there must be something underhanded or cynical. Likewise when I encounter a negative person I usually just write them off as an annoying attention-seeking whinger, even though I know that's not the case for many.

I positively like this post and would like to give it a positive 1 so.... +1.

Figbiscuithead

My view is that it's pretty selfish to be negative and constantly complaining, unless the person has mental health problems and genuinely can't help it. I deal with people all day long in my job and terminally negative people suck the fun out of everything for everyone - there's absolutely no need whatsoever to verbalise every gripe you have and to have such a lack of self-awareness not to realise how draining your behaviour is for those around you is very self-centred. Some people have an incredible "ability" to find the negative in every fooking thing. Chirpy, false positivity does my head in too but I'd much rather spend time with a person who at least attempts to see the positive in something and can remain reasonably rational about everyday stuff and tries to deal with their negative feelings like a mature adult instead of a bratty 5 year-old. There IS a middle ground. Fact of the matter is, we have to live alongside one another whether you like it or not so a certain effort is expected in how your conduct yourself.

Jaysus I feel stronger about this than I thought! Rant-arama!

Edit: Yes, yes, the irony is not lost on me that this post is chock-a-block with complaining!

paleoperson

mariaalice wrote: »

A well know journalist wrote an article about his daughter who has Down syndrome and what jumped out at me was how he was undone at reviving goodness kindness and even love from state provided services, his inner cynicism would only allow him to believe that everyone is only out for themselves and only in it for the money. What a terrible way to live you life.

I think it's below the belt of you to come in here throwing conditions like down syndrome around, trying to imply as if there's something wrong with someone for suspecting ulterior motives.

He might have been right or he might not. Just because your wishful thinking might cause you to think otherwise doesn't make it true.

All your example does is prove that you're biased to begin with, your opinions are totally coloured and you're even proud of this fact. That overly positive people are a fraud, you end up fooling yourselves and causing who knows how much damage.

Since you and others have gone ahead and took the gloves off I'd even go so far as to say overly positive people who refuse to look at the bad side of things are ruining the world. It's the old stick-in-the-muds who care about the actual environment, about nuclear disaster, starving children that we don't see and all sorts of other things that are the only reason why we're not already finished. Putting a positive bias on things is stupid and dangerous. While the selfish people go around in bliss.

paleoperson

paleoperson wrote: »

I think it's below the belt of you to come in here throwing conditions like down syndrome around, trying to imply as if there's something wrong with someone for suspecting ulterior motives.

He might have been right or he might not. Just because your wishful thinking might cause you to think otherwise doesn't make it true.

All your example does is prove that you're biased to begin with, your opinions are totally coloured and you're even proud of this fact. That overly positive people are a fraud, you end up fooling yourselves and causing who knows how much damage.

Since you and others have gone ahead and took the gloves off I'd even go so far as to say overly positive people who refuse to look at the bad side of things are ruining the world. It's the old stick-in-the-muds who care about the actual environment, about nuclear disaster, starving children that we don't see and all sorts of other things that are the only reason why we're not already finished. Putting a positive bias on things is stupid and dangerous. While the selfish people go around in bliss.

What in the fcuk was that?

Penny Tration

I don't see anything wrong with being positive or happy most of the time.

For me, it's a great coping mechanism. I've got anxiety among other things, so basically I'm always worried, always panicking, feel awful quite a lot - and it's poxy. I hate feeling like that.

So instead of sitting in a moany funk like the OP seems to be doing, I think about the situation that's making me stressy and miserable, make myself find something good in it, and focus on the good.

It might make me come across as overly happy or too positive, but I'd rather find good in every situation and be relaxed and happy, than allow myself to be a depressed wreck.

paleoperson

Penny Tration wrote: »

I don't see anything wrong with being positive or happy most of the time.

For me, it's a great coping mechanism. I've got anxiety among other things, so basically I'm always worried, always panicking, feel awful quite a lot - and it's poxy. I hate feeling like that.

So instead of sitting in a moany funk like the OP seems to be doing, I think about the situation that's making me stressy and miserable, make myself find something good in it, and focus on the good.

It might make me come across as overly happy or too positive, but I'd rather find good in every situation and be relaxed and happy, than allow myself to be a depressed wreck.

I am never or rarely a depressed wreck.

As already established, it's often people who are overly-positive who are highly depressed.

paleoperson

paleoperson wrote: »

I am never or rarely a depressed wreck.

As already established, it's often people who are overly-positive who are highly depressed.

Established, because you and a couple of posters said so - allllrighty then.

No.

Penny Tration

paleoperson wrote: »

I am never or rarely a depressed wreck.

As already established, it's often people who are overly-positive who are highly depressed.

Well no.

Me finding something positive in everything PREVENTS me from getting 'highly depressed.'

seamus

paleoperson wrote: »

Since you and others have gone ahead and took the gloves off I'd even go so far as to say overly positive people who refuse to look at the bad side of things are ruining the world. It's the old stick-in-the-muds who care about the actual environment, about nuclear disaster, starving children that we don't see and all sorts of other things that are the only reason why we're not already finished. Putting a positive bias on things is stupid and dangerous. While the selfish people go around in bliss.

Nonsense. It's in the mixture of people that things improve. You have the positive people who see what can be and aren't afraid to make changes, and negative people who are there to advise caution and recognise the potential pitfalls.
Without positive people, negative people would still be stuck in the stone age refusing to do anything differently.

seamus

paleoperson wrote: »

I am never or rarely a depressed wreck.

As already established, it's often people who are overly-positive who are highly depressed.

Actually the current thinking on depression is that it's highly correlated with negative thinking and there are suggestions that it's even possible to "fake it till you make it", and just thinking positively can help bring someone out of depression.

seamus

seamus wrote: »

Nonsense. It's in the mixture of people that things improve. You have the positive people who see what can be and aren't afraid to make changes, and negative people who are there to advise caution and recognise the potential pitfalls.
Without positive people, negative people would still be stuck in the stone age refusing to do anything differently.

You have actuality described the relationship between my husband and I to a tee. I would be all lets do it now, happy clappy enthusiasm and he would be the more cautious type, would want to look at issuers form every angle and proceed slowly. It is a very good combination for a relationship. He is not a negative person though just errs on the side of caution.

If you ask him is the glass half full or half empty he will say the glass was twice as big as it need to be.

paleoperson

seamus wrote: »

Actually the current thinking on depression is that it's highly correlated with negative thinking and there are suggestions that it's even possible to "fake it till you make it", and just thinking positively can help bring someone out of depression.

Says who, the positivity brigade? Don't tell me you actually believe all those psychology studies, half of them contradict the other... "the current thinking" my ass.

It has nothing to do with forcing yourself to think happy, and in fact a lot of depressed people take huge offence if you say that. If there's a progression in how we think about it, it's that all of that kind of "think positive" stuff rarely works for depression.

Besides, there's a big difference between trying to think positively as a means of getting through the day (which everyone does from time to time) and trying to think positively "just cause" in principle you think it's always better.

seamus

paleoperson wrote: »

Says who, the positivity brigade? Don't tell me you actually believe all those psychology studies, half of them contradict the other... "the current thinking" my ass.

OK, I'll just take your word for it, Dr. Paleoperson.

Hey everyone, no need for anyone to do any more studies, this guy over here has it all sussed out!