BPAD(Bi-Polar Affective Disorder)

NASHSE1

Hi there .

I recently had a relative who was diagnosed with the above disorder .

My question is . What can i do going forward with him . How can i support him guide him in trying to live as normally as possible .

Are there other high functioning people here with BPAD how have you been since you were diagnosed ? Did it change your life did it restrict it in any way ? Did people start treating you differently once they knew ?

What can i do to support him ? Im trying to be very sensitive but not condesending with him im trying to include but not overwhlem him with family life . Im trying to engage and push him and not let this become him if that makes sense.

I want him to feel loved but not trying to treat him any different now he's been diagnosed. I believe im not treating him any differently im just more aware of his limits and capabilities of certain elements within family life , work ,relationships .

Thanks in advance

Acara

NASHSE1 wrote: »

Hi there .

I recently had a relative who was diagnosed with the above disorder .

My question is . What can i do going forward with him . How can i support him guide him in trying to live as normally as possible .

Are there other high functioning people here with BPAD how have you been since you were diagnosed ? Did it change your life did it restrict it in any way ? Did people start treating you differently once they knew ?

What can i do to support him ? Im trying to be very sensitive but not condesending with him im trying to include but not overwhlem him with family life . Im trying to engage and push him and not let this become him if that makes sense.

I want him to feel loved but not trying to treat him any different now he's been diagnosed. I believe im not treating him any differently im just more aware of his limits and capabilities of certain elements within family life , work ,relationships .

Thanks in advance

He is very lucky to have your support but remember to look after yourself too. It would help if you could say what relation this person is to you. My husband was diagnosed with the same condition 10 years ago and he is only coming right now. All I can say is that the services were a complete joke and we have been to hell and back .

JuliusCaesar

It would help if you would talk with the psychologist on the team. They'll be able to give you and your relative detailed information on how best to go forward. Remember, he is a person first and foremost - the diagnosis is only part of who he is.

There are support groups available, and self-help groups that might be useful too.

Mental Health Reform has a section of links on its website, and there might be some in our stickies - here and here - some of which might be useful to you.

NASHSE1

Hi guys .

Its my brother . Its been a difficult time of it . Im trying my very best . It is a struggle at times as he is or has been up to recently a private guy and our relationship up to now has been strained his partner has tried her best to do it all and regardless of our relationship at the end of the day he's family . If i can get permission ill speak with his psychologist with him there or not . I am making sure that i dont fall apart yes i heard that the best thing we can do as a family is look after us to . I guess im just concerned as to what lys ahead for him for life . Tough stuff eh

Many thanks for your input it is appreciated

Acara

NASHSE1 wrote: »

Hi guys .

Its my brother . Its been a difficult time of it . Im trying my very best . It is a struggle at times as he is or has been up to recently a private guy and our relationship up to now has been strained his partner has tried her best to do it all and regardless of our relationship at the end of the day he's family . If i can get permission ill speak with his psychologist with him there or not . I am making sure that i dont fall apart yes i heard that the best thing we can do as a family is look after us to . I guess im just concerned as to what lys ahead for him for life . Tough stuff eh

Many thanks for your input it is appreciated

Your brother needs to take responsibility for his recovery and by the sound if is putting a lot of strain on you and expecting his partner to do everything. No pills or docs can make ur brother grow up it's a long hard road but there are programs designed to help him do just that that his team will suggest.

Labarbapostiza

Acara wrote: »

Your brother needs to take responsibility for his recovery and by the sound if is putting a lot of strain on you and expecting his partner to do everything.

Really. You know, when I hear the "oh they've been a terrible strain on the family" line, alarm bells go off for me. Especially when it's joined by a statement such as the strain being a very private person. That would indicate to me the "strain", is a person who distances themselves from their family, because their family is toxic.

I have a toxic family and from the perspective of my family, I am a very "private" person. I have no contact with them, and I also have no contact with anyone they might influence. Because they are very bad and harmful people. My brother once made up a story that I went mad for no reason and attacked him with a scissors....it never happened. And "oh be de jaysus, he's a wicked strain on de family"...I've had a lot of that too. My family playing the victims. It's very often that someone has mental health problems because of the strain their toxic family has placed on them.

Now, if I had a psychologist, and they were approached by a member of my family, who I would be sure would state their reasons for imparting or requesting any information would be out of the utmost concern for my well being. I would be absolutely certain they were up to no good. It could be a subtle drop of poison, to toxify the client therapist relationship. It could be to make the therapist distrust their client. I do know of one instance where a therapist believed "Oh be the de Jaysus, she's a wicked strain on de family...she's always making up stories aboush being sexually abused", as it turns out, all the crazy stories the girl was telling about her family were true.

If I had a therapist, and they made any contact with my family, or my family made any contact with them, either without my knowledge or permission. It would be a very serious issue. The therapist might make the mistake through good intentions, it would still be a terrible mistake.

No pills or docs can make ur brother grow up it's a long hard road but there are programs designed to help him do just that that his team will suggest.

Grow up?........Okay, I'm going to let you have both barrels, not for your benefit; I'm very doubtful anything could help you. But for the benefit of anyone who might read this. I hope to God you have no role in the mental health services, but I have heard your kind do find ways in. You have no place making that comment on pills and doctors, unless you are a qualified medical professional with expertise in psychiatric medicine. And if you were, you wouldn't make that comment. Bi-polar disorder has nothing to do with either being grown up, or grown down, or grown in any particular direction. I have my radar tuned for people like you; bad people. Most people don't, and they'll read me as the bad guy in my attack on you, because you seem "caring". But you are not a caring person. You're concern strikes me as the same "concern" my most toxic family members have for me.

My family are devious and slimy. They rely on the fact that when you tell a horrible story about someone to another person, that person is unlikely to repeat the story back to the subject of the story. And that really is a problem for the victim; people become unwitting tools in the attack, the victim is completely unaware how their relationships are being soured . But some people are wise to what's going on, they have their radar switched on for bad people too. And they tell the victim what's happening. And one story that got back to me, is a toxic family member, imagine a fat Paddy Whack with popped out eyes , shaking their head in exasperation and rolling their popped out eyes to heaven, saying "Oh be de jaysus, he's a wickish strain on the de family...cracked in de head, awl we do fer him, he has er hearts broke, and he won't growsh up".

My experience is not unique. I know of people literally having to put thousands of miles of distance between their family and themselves to get better. They have to get far away, even members of their toxic family who are not toxic have been turned against them.

All rats are kind of alike, which is why Acara, I can sense something rodent like in your aroma. And I'm just trying to point this out to people.

On the point of should family members have any contact with the therapist at all. It could be a reason therapy fails so much, especially for young people, where there is parental involvement. The therapist may disclose information that is used for further harm. A toxic family who have made a member sick, do not want to see their handy work undone. Though they'll give the impression to the outside world how much they "care". Why they want to cause that harm, I'm really not sure.

JuliusCaesar

As psychologists, we are (like other MH professionals) governed by rules of confidentiality. We do not invite family members in unless the client gives permission. We do not give any information about the client, unless the client gives explicit permission for that particular information to be shared.

The rules are very strict and very explicit in the HSE and other health care organisations.

If clients do not want their families involved, we will not engage with the family, except to give them advice regarding managing their own stress.

People with severe and enduring MH problems are not always able to "take responsibility for themselves". That's why we have a system to support and advocate for them.


OP, if you are looking for information from other people with BPD, you could check out either Long Term Illness or Personal Issues.

Acara

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

As psychologists, we are (like other MH professionals) governed by rules of confidentiality. We do not invite family members in unless the client gives permission. We do not give any information about the client, unless the client gives explicit permission for that particular information to be shared.

The rules are very strict and very explicit in the HSE and other health care organisations.

If clients do not want their families involved, we will not engage with the family, except to give them advice regarding managing their own stress.

People with severe and enduring MH problems are not always able to "take responsibility for themselves". That's why we have a system to support and advocate for them.


OP, if you are looking for information from other people with BPD, you could check out either Long Term Illness or Personal Issues.

And what about if your client has a wife and four children. Who supports and advocates for them.

Labarbapostiza

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

If clients do not want their families involved, we will not engage with the family, except to give them advice regarding managing their own stress.

Are you saying the HSE will violate patient confidentiality to advise a client's family on how to manage their stress?

I am aware there are protocols concerning children being in danger of abuse, or people being at risk of violence from a client, or the client committing self harm, but I was not aware of a protocol for advising a clients family on how to deal with their stress.

People with severe and enduring MH problems are not always able to "take responsibility for themselves". That's why we have a system to support and advocate for them.

If that were absolutely true, we wouldn't have a fraction of the number of rough sleepers that we do.

Acara

Labarbapostiza wrote: »

Are you saying the HSE will violate patient confidentiality to advise a client's family on how to manage their stress?

I am aware there are protocols concerning children being in danger of abuse, or people being at risk of violence from a client, or the client committing self harm, but I was not aware of a protocol for advising a clients family on how to deal with their stress.



If that were absolutely true, we wouldn't have a fraction of the number of rough sleepers that we do.

What are the protocols concerning children of now violent clients???

Arbiter of Good Taste

Labarbapostiza wrote: »

Are you saying the HSE will violate patient confidentiality to advise a client's family on how to manage their stress?

I am aware there are protocols concerning children being in danger of abuse, or people being at risk of violence from a client, or the client committing self harm, but I was not aware of a protocol for advising a clients family on how to deal with their stress.



If that were absolutely true, we wouldn't have a fraction of the number of rough sleepers that we do.

If I go to a therapist to deal with my own stress arising from a situation, how is that breaking another patient's confidentiality.

To be honest your previous post was not nice - accusing the OP of being toxic. Have you ever lived with someone bipolar? I have, and let me tell you it was exhausting. They literally take, take, take. They turn on you at a moment's notice because what's going on in their head bears no resemblance to reality. You become afraid to open your mouth because there is a good chance your words of support would be misconstrued. In our case, there was only one toxic person in the house, and that was the person suffering from BP.

Acara

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

If I go to a therapist to deal with my own stress arising from a situation, how is that breaking another patient's confidentiality.

To be honest your previous post was not nice - accusing the OP of being toxic. Have you ever lived with someone bipolar? I have, and let me tell you it was exhausting. They literally take, take, take. They turn on you at a moment's notice because what's going on in their head bears no resemblance to reality. You become afraid to open your mouth because there is a good chance your words of support would be misconstrued. In our case, there was only one toxic person in the house, and that was the person suffering from BP.

Thank you but this crazy anger seems to be part and parcel of this disorder and I do not take it personally neither do I expect any apologies because that would involve self reflection something alien to these people. Their only goal in life seems to be destruction because life hasn't quite turned out the way they wanted. It is akin to a 2 year old having a tantrum because they can't have that cookie NOW. I still hold onto the belief that they had parents who gave into their tantrums took the easy road all their lives and now as ADULTS have a tantrum when they hear NO and go crazy when their selfish demands are not met. Hard work and commitment and responsibility are foreign notions that healthy ADULTS understand but not them. To me they are 2 year olds emotionally dressed up as adults and we must all pander to THEIR childish needs.

Acara

Labarbapostiza wrote: »

Really. You know, when I hear the "oh they've been a terrible strain on the family" line, alarm bells go off for me. Especially when it's joined by a statement such as the strain being a very private person. That would indicate to me the "strain", is a person who distances themselves from their family, because their family is toxic.

I have a toxic family and from the perspective of my family, I am a very "private" person. I have no contact with them, and I also have no contact with anyone they might influence. Because they are very bad and harmful people. My brother once made up a story that I went mad for no reason and attacked him with a scissors....it never happened. And "oh be de jaysus, he's a wicked strain on de family"...I've had a lot of that too. My family playing the victims. It's very often that someone has mental health problems because of the strain their toxic family has placed on them.

Now, if I had a psychologist, and they were approached by a member of my family, who I would be sure would state their reasons for imparting or requesting any information would be out of the utmost concern for my well being. I would be absolutely certain they were up to no good. It could be a subtle drop of poison, to toxify the client therapist relationship. It could be to make the therapist distrust their client. I do know of one instance where a therapist believed "Oh be the de Jaysus, she's a wicked strain on de family...she's always making up stories aboush being sexually abused", as it turns out, all the crazy stories the girl was telling about her family were true.

If I had a therapist, and they made any contact with my family, or my family made any contact with them, either without my knowledge or permission. It would be a very serious issue. The therapist might make the mistake through good intentions, it would still be a terrible mistake.




Grow up?........Okay, I'm going to let you have both barrels, not for your benefit; I'm very doubtful anything could help you. But for the benefit of anyone who might read this. I hope to God you have no role in the mental health services, but I have heard your kind do find ways in. You have no place making that comment on pills and doctors, unless you are a qualified medical professional with expertise in psychiatric medicine. And if you were, you wouldn't make that comment. Bi-polar disorder has nothing to do with either being grown up, or grown down, or grown in any particular direction. I have my radar tuned for people like you; bad people. Most people don't, and they'll read me as the bad guy in my attack on you, because you seem "caring". But you are not a caring person. You're concern strikes me as the same "concern" my most toxic family members have for me.

My family are devious and slimy. They rely on the fact that when you tell a horrible story about someone to another person, that person is unlikely to repeat the story back to the subject of the story. And that really is a problem for the victim; people become unwitting tools in the attack, the victim is completely unaware how their relationships are being soured . But some people are wise to what's going on, they have their radar switched on for bad people too. And they tell the victim what's happening. And one story that got back to me, is a toxic family member, imagine a fat Paddy Whack with popped out eyes , shaking their head in exasperation and rolling their popped out eyes to heaven, saying "Oh be de jaysus, he's a wickish strain on the de family...cracked in de head, awl we do fer him, he has er hearts broke, and he won't growsh up".

My experience is not unique. I know of people literally having to put thousands of miles of distance between their family and themselves to get better. They have to get far away, even members of their toxic family who are not toxic have been turned against them.

All rats are kind of alike, which is why Acara, I can sense something rodent like in your aroma. And I'm just trying to point this out to people.

On the point of should family members have any contact with the therapist at all. It could be a reason therapy fails so much, especially for young people, where there is parental involvement. The therapist may disclose information that is used for further harm. A toxic family who have made a member sick, do not want to see their handy work undone. Though they'll give the impression to the outside world how much they "care". Why they want to cause that harm, I'm really not sure.

Healthy people start to learn around 2 years of age a sad FACT that life does NOT REVOLVE around THEM and they learn HEALTHY ways to get these needs met. Guessing you are way beyond 2 now but still negotiating life as one and throwing crazy tantrums which are really scary when you are an adult. Blaming family friends me ( who you don't know) won't help but looking inward just might. Hope life gets better for you.

Labarbapostiza

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

If I go to a therapist to deal with my own stress arising from a situation, how is that breaking another patient's confidentiality.

In that situation you're not breaking anyone's confidentiality. What we're talking about here is the confidentiality there would be between you and the therapist.

Imagine a situation where you are seeing a therapist, because you are in a family situation where you are being abused by one or more members of the family. Imagine if those abusive family members could speak to the therapist, lie to them and convince them of a completely different version of events.

To be honest your previous post was not nice - accusing the OP of being toxic.

I have very good reasons to believe they are toxic.

Have you ever lived with someone bipolar? I have, and let me tell you it was exhausting.

Yes, I grew up in a household where there was serious mental health issues. I experienced a great deal of violence, and psychological torture.

They literally take, take, take. They turn on you at a moment's notice because what's going on in their head bears no resemblance to reality.

Well, my whole family would have said that about me. (They may even be saying it now....adding and embellishing other stories)

You become afraid to open your mouth because there is a good chance your words of support would be misconstrued. In our case, there was only one toxic person in the house, and that was the person suffering from BP.

That sounds like something my mother would say.

I'll tell you about my mother. I spent most of my childhood in a constant state of anxiety trying to avoid her beatings, and her rages. She'd always insist it was something I had done to provoke her, but it was all coming from inside her. I had to pay very close attention to her moods, I might get lucky and spot the rage just before it happened, have enough time to get away. But I would always be careful not to stand within striking distance of her, or have my back turned on her (creeping up behind me and unleashing some shocking surprise violence was one of her favourite tactics....I spent my childhood constantly looking over my shoulder, very literally).

About by the time I was 12, I was a little bigger and stronger. One day she was in one of her usual rages and she physically attacks me. I'm able to block most of her blows with my arm (this still hurts, but nothing like getting hit in the face...or having her sharp nails dig into my face, which is covered in scars because her), She throws one punch, and I catch it in my hand. She's very surprised, this has never happened before, I'm just strong enough to hold it, and when she tries to break free, I'm able to twist it a little. I've been waiting for this day for a long time, and I say calmly, never hit me again, and release her hand. She's a little stunned, it's sinking in that her days of dishing out beatings without resistance are over. She walks to the phone and very calmly calls my father at work. As soon as he comes on the phone, she bursts into hysterics; a complete act. She tells my father I have just attacked her. When she hangs up the phone she bursts into laughter, like a witch. She goads me, and I don't even try to run. When my father arrives he gives me a savage beating. I'd just take it like a rag doll. I don't remember how many times this happened again, I've tried to block it out, it literally happened more times than I'd like to remember.

It wasn't the end of violence from my mother either. A number of times she attacked me with either knifes or scissors. And of course I let her beat me sometimes, because she wasn't as strong as my father, if I let her get it out of her system, I wouldn't have to deal with him.

You have no need to lecture me on how stressful it can be to live with a crazy person. The other thing is bad crazy people lie, and in their versions of the story, they're the ones who are sane and innocent, being attacked by the crazy person.

Acara

Labarbapostiza wrote: »

In that situation you're not breaking anyone's confidentiality. What we're talking about here is the confidentiality there would be between you and the therapist.

Imagine a situation where you are seeing a therapist, because you are in a family situation where you are being abused by one or more members of the family. Imagine if those abusive family members could speak to the therapist, lie to them and convince them of a completely different version of events.




I have very good reasons to believe they are toxic.




Yes, I grew up in a household where there was serious mental health issues. I experienced a great deal of violence, and psychological torture.




Well, my whole family would have said that about me. (They may even be saying it now....adding and embellishing other stories)



That sounds like something my mother would say.

I'll tell you about my mother. I spent most of my childhood in a constant state of anxiety trying to avoid her beatings, and her rages. She'd always insist it was something I had done to provoke her, but it was all coming from inside her. I had to pay very close attention to her moods, I might get lucky and spot the rage just before it happened, have enough time to get away. But I would always be careful not to stand within striking distance of her, or have my back turned on her (creeping up behind me and unleashing some shocking surprise violence was one of her favourite tactics....I spent my childhood constantly looking over my shoulder, very literally).

About by the time I was 12, I was a little bigger and stronger. One day she was in one of her usual rages and she physically attacks me. I'm able to block most of her blows with my arm (this still hurts, but nothing like getting hit in the face...or having her sharp nails dig into my face, which is covered in scars because her), She throws one punch, and I catch it in my hand. She's very surprised, this has never happened before, I'm just strong enough to hold it, and when she tries to break free, I'm able to twist it a little. I've been waiting for this day for a long time, and I say calmly, never hit me again, and release her hand. She's a little stunned, it's sinking in that her days of dishing out beatings without resistance are over. She walks to the phone and very calmly calls my father at work. As soon as he comes on the phone, she bursts into hysterics; a complete act. She tells my father I have just attacked her. When she hangs up the phone she bursts into laughter, like a witch. She goads me, and I don't even try to run. When my father arrives he gives me a savage beating. I'd just take it like a rag doll. I don't remember how many times this happened again, I've tried to block it out, it literally happened more times than I'd like to remember.

It wasn't the end of violence from my mother either. A number of times she attacked me with either knifes or scissors. And of course I let her beat me sometimes, because she wasn't as strong as my father, if I let her get it out of her system, I wouldn't have to deal with him.

You have no need to lecture me on how stressful it can be to live with a crazy person. The other thing is bad crazy people lie, and in their versions of the story, they're the ones who are sane and innocent, being attacked by the crazy person.

God that is horrific abuse at the hands of the very people whose job it was to protect and love you. Could you report this abuse and take legal action for the damage caused.

Acara

Acara wrote: »

God that is horrific abuse at the hands of the very people whose job it was to protect and love you. Could you report this abuse and take legal action for the damage caused.

Did you have brothers or sisters and if so were they subjected to the same abuse?

Acara

Acara wrote: »

Did you have brothers or sisters and if so were they subjected to the same abuse?

This abuse is the reason MH problems are intergenerational. You are filled with rage as anyone would be by platent injustice. Should the MH professionals not be exposing this cruelty and getting justice for their client who is traumatised by this horrific abuse.

Arbiter of Good Taste

Labarbapostiza wrote: »

In that situation you're not breaking anyone's confidentiality. What we're talking about here is the confidentiality there would be between you and the therapist.

Imagine a situation where you are seeing a therapist, because you are in a family situation where you are being abused by one or more members of the family. Imagine if those abusive family members could speak to the therapist, lie to them and convince them of a completely different version of events.




I have very good reasons to believe they are toxic.




Yes, I grew up in a household where there was serious mental health issues. I experienced a great deal of violence, and psychological torture.




Well, my whole family would have said that about me. (They may even be saying it now....adding and embellishing other stories)



That sounds like something my mother would say.

I'll tell you about my mother. I spent most of my childhood in a constant state of anxiety trying to avoid her beatings, and her rages. She'd always insist it was something I had done to provoke her, but it was all coming from inside her. I had to pay very close attention to her moods, I might get lucky and spot the rage just before it happened, have enough time to get away. But I would always be careful not to stand within striking distance of her, or have my back turned on her (creeping up behind me and unleashing some shocking surprise violence was one of her favourite tactics....I spent my childhood constantly looking over my shoulder, very literally).

About by the time I was 12, I was a little bigger and stronger. One day she was in one of her usual rages and she physically attacks me. I'm able to block most of her blows with my arm (this still hurts, but nothing like getting hit in the face...or having her sharp nails dig into my face, which is covered in scars because her), She throws one punch, and I catch it in my hand. She's very surprised, this has never happened before, I'm just strong enough to hold it, and when she tries to break free, I'm able to twist it a little. I've been waiting for this day for a long time, and I say calmly, never hit me again, and release her hand. She's a little stunned, it's sinking in that her days of dishing out beatings without resistance are over. She walks to the phone and very calmly calls my father at work. As soon as he comes on the phone, she bursts into hysterics; a complete act. She tells my father I have just attacked her. When she hangs up the phone she bursts into laughter, like a witch. She goads me, and I don't even try to run. When my father arrives he gives me a savage beating. I'd just take it like a rag doll. I don't remember how many times this happened again, I've tried to block it out, it literally happened more times than I'd like to remember.

It wasn't the end of violence from my mother either. A number of times she attacked me with either knifes or scissors. And of course I let her beat me sometimes, because she wasn't as strong as my father, if I let her get it out of her system, I wouldn't have to deal with him.

You have no need to lecture me on how stressful it can be to live with a crazy person. The other thing is bad crazy people lie, and in their versions of the story, they're the ones who are sane and innocent, being attacked by the crazy person.

Please do not accuse me of lecturing. The only person lecturing here is you. If what you are saying is true, then that is very unfortunate and I feel sorry for you. But you have also come on here and accused another poster - a complete stranger - of being a rat and toxic. And then you proceed to try and discount my personal experiences because they don't correspond with your viewpoint.

I lived with a BP person and it was horrible. I would work until 9pm most nights just to avoid going home. If I was away for the weekend, I would cry in anticipation of having to go back to it for the week. Why, what kind of moronic adult does that? Because I felt as a good friend, it was my responsibility to support her and not give up on her like a lot of others did. Yet, if you asked her, it was me and anyone else who stuck around - friends, family, work colleagues - who were the monsters, and she was the complete victim in all this.

Needless to say, my life improved exponentially when she finally moved out,

Acara

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

Please do not accuse me of lecturing. The only person lecturing here is you. If what you are saying is true, then that is very unfortunate and I feel sorry for you. But you have also come on here and accused another poster - a complete stranger - of being a rat and toxic. And then you proceed to try and discount my personal experiences because they don't correspond with your viewpoint.

I lived with a BP person and it was horrible. I would work until 9pm most nights just to avoid going home. If I was away for the weekend, I would cry in anticipation of having to go back to it for the week. Why, what kind of moronic adult does that? Because I felt as a good friend, it was my responsibility to support her and not give up on her like a lot of others did. Yet, if you asked her, it was me and anyone else who stuck around - friends, family, work colleagues - who were the monsters, and she was the complete victim in all this.

Needless to say, my life improved exponentially when she finally moved out,

Thank you for that I don't take being a rat or toxic personally. How could this person not be full of rage if what he says is true. I actually feel so sorry for him and reminds me that childhood does set the stage for our future mental health. I hope he gets the help he needs to come to terms with the monsters he had as parents.

Acara

Acara wrote: »

Thank you for that I don't take being a rat or toxic personally. How could this person not be full of rage if what he says is true. I actually feel so sorry for him and reminds me that childhood does set the stage for our future mental health. I hope he gets the help he needs to come to terms with the monsters he had as parents.

I also lived with a BP person and I agree with you 100% it was horrible. It was all about him really and finally turned on the people who tried to help him. Like the poster that described me in such vile terms when he doesn't know me from Adam. Common thread is that they love their misery and you better not try and take that off them. What a black mind the poster has maybe the stuff about his childhood is untrue just like the vile stuff he said about me.

Acara

Acara wrote: »

I also lived with a BP person and I agree with you 100% it was horrible. It was all about him really and finally turned on the people who tried to help him. Like the poster that described me in such vile terms when he doesn't know me from Adam. Common thread is that they love their misery and you better not try and take that off them. What a black mind the poster has maybe the stuff about his childhood is untrue just like the vile stuff he said about me.

So my advice to the original poster is sadly there is nothing really you can do except look after yourself. You grew up with your brother I take it and shared the same childhood. You grew up clearly and for some reason your brother remained a child emotionally and that is why he will expect his poor partner ( slave) to serve him.

JuliusCaesar

I'm closing this thread as it has gone entirely off topic and is not a rational discussion of psychology issues. It is not at this point suited for this forum. JC