Dating Etiquette.

eternal

This is something I would like to get both genders' opinions on.
When you're going on dates or seeing someone or in a relationship that's still slightly new, what is the best perceived way to deal with paying for things? Ok so on a first date, is it expected for the guy to just keep buying rounds if in a bar or tickets and munch if at the cinema? Would a man expect a woman to pay for everything? What about if you two go for a meal, do you decide who pays or is it gentlemanly to offer to pay.
Is it easier to just go halves on everything until you know the person well enough to feel like it's not a deal breaker? Are there women who genuinely expect to be fed and watered constantly with no chance of them ever offering to buy anything. I don't think I'm talking about married people here, more so those who are dating or seeing someone.

johnny osbourne

eternal wrote: »

This is something I would like to get both genders' opinions on.
When you're going on dates or seeing someone or in a relationship that's still slightly new, what is the best perceived way to deal with paying for things? Ok so on a first date, is it expected for the guy to just keep buying rounds if in a bar or tickets and munch if at the cinema? Would a man expect a woman to pay for everything? What about if you two go for a meal, do you decide who pays or is it gentlemanly to offer to pay.
Is it easier to just go halves on everything until you know the person well enough to feel like it's not a deal breaker? Are there women who genuinely expect to be fed and watered constantly with no chance of them ever offering to buy anything. I don't think I'm talking about married people here, more so those who are dating or seeing someone.

the lady always pays

One buys tickets other buys snacks

Dinner I duno, halves or dinner vs drinks

The Backwards Man

I only date rich widows with bad coughs

The Backwards Man

And their own pub

darkpagandeath

don't wear a leather jacket and don't get poo on yer face.

MEGA BRO WOLF 5000

If I pay I expect to bash her back door in.

Just Another Girl

I always offer to go halves. If the man insists on paying, then I make sure I get it back next time or make it up somehow.

johnny osbourne

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I only date rich widows with bad coughs

ha ha bad craic

johnny osbourne

The Backwards Man wrote: »

And their own pub

aha

Mad4simmental

Don't fart untill the turd date!

One eyed Jack

eternal wrote: »

This is something I would like to get both genders' opinions on.
When you're going on dates or seeing someone or in a relationship that's still slightly new, what is the best perceived way to deal with paying for things? Ok so on a first date, is it expected for the guy to just keep buying rounds if in a bar or tickets and munch if at the cinema? Would a man expect a woman to pay for everything? What about if you two go for a meal, do you decide who pays or is it gentlemanly to offer to pay.
Is it easier to just go halves on everything until you know the person well enough to feel like it's not a deal breaker? Are there women who genuinely expect to be fed and watered constantly with no chance of them ever offering to buy anything. I don't think I'm talking about married people here, more so those who are dating or seeing someone.

Suss 'em out really, I usually go with if I'm the person doing the asking, I'll pay for whatever we're doing, usually dinner and drinks, or coffee, whatever. If a woman wants to pay for herself, I'll be put out by it since tbh, no, I don't like to have a woman feel she is under any obligation to pay for anything. The pleasure of her company has more than paid for itself.

You'll understand that last sentence if you've ever gone on a date and regretted it from the moment you laid eyes on the person, in person. It becomes a very long and drawn out effort, and the last thing you want to do is pay for being tortured...

(well, that is, unless you're into that sort of thing! )

eternal

I bought a man a drink once and he went mental, saying did I not think he could pay? Maybe it was a cultural thing, I've never seen an Irish man refuse a free drink.

KERSPLAT!

bluewolf wrote: »

One buys tickets other buys snacks

Dinner I duno, halves or dinner vs drinks

This for cinema and shows.

If out for a meal I think I'd pay the whole lot but it'd be nice to get a drink in return or even the offer to go halves. Thankfully any girl I've been with has never been stingy and although I'd normally pay there were definitely times they would insist so that was nice

KERSPLAT!

eternal wrote: »

I bought a man a drink once and he went mental, saying did I not think he could pay? Maybe it was a cultural thing, I've never seen an Irish man refuse a free drink.

Always nice to be bought a drink, whether you're a man or woman I'd imagine

siblers

If it's drinks, just do rounds. Wouldn't do dinner till like a third or fourth date, same with cinema. So I'd buy the tickets/meal (and hope she would buy the first drinks afterwards or snacks). If we were to go for dinner/cinema again, would split it. I don't mind paying for dinner if I offer to take them out or it's for a special occasion etc but if it's like a mutual thing then I think it's only fair to splt it or pay in turns.

One eyed Jack

eternal wrote: »

I bought a man a drink once and he went mental, saying did I not think he could pay? Maybe it was a cultural thing, I've never seen an Irish man refuse a free drink.

Ahh, I wouldn't worry too much about that sort of a chap. Tbh it sounds like there was more going on with him than just you buying him a drink. I'd say he just wanted to piss and moan because he felt like you were taking pity on him and bought him a drink. You were never going to get on with him anyway

eternal

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Always nice to be bought a drink, whether you're a man or woman I'd imagine

Oh yeah I didn't mean it like it sounded there. It was the reaction from the guy in question that shocked me. I don't think I've ever refused a free drink either

LETHAL LADY

Never.....ever....lick the butter off the knife :eek:

Teafor two12345

Paying for dinner is nice from a guy ....but it will not make an asshole datable.

Dial Hard

First date - whoever did the asking pays for the first few drinks. Take turns thereafter.

Subsequent dates - take turns, split the bill or one buys dinner, one buys the drinks.

Having said that, I generally tend to get there first when I'm meeting someone for the first time and would always text them to ask what their poison is when I do, so actually, I nearly always end up buying the first round.

eternal

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Ahh, I wouldn't worry too much about that sort of a chap. Tbh it sounds like there was more going on with him than just you buying him a drink. I'd say he just wanted to piss and moan because he felt like you were taking pity on him and bought him a drink. You were never going to get on with him anyway

He was lucky in that he was incredibly good looking.

johnny osbourne

look your date in the eyes, for therein see you the soul, hallelujah

johnny osbourne

ya man fire

Richard Hillman

A gentleman should always remove his hat when first greeting the lady.

During the Summer, a lady should always adhere to Royal Ascot standard dress rules with the hat being optional depending on the situation. A lady should dress appropriately if it is the Winter.

A gentleman should offer a coat to a lady if it rains.

A gentleman should carry an umbrella, as well as a hat.

A gentleman should pay on the first date. With it being 2015, a lady should probably offer to pay.

Personal financial problems should be declared before the first date.


I have learned all of my dating etiquette from Downton Abbey.

NachoBusiness

One eyed Jack wrote: »

If a woman wants to pay for herself, I'll be put out by it since tbh, no, I don't like to have a woman feel she is under any obligation to pay for anything.

'Want' and 'obligation' are two different things. If you offer to pay (and I usually do) but the woman still wants to pay for herself, well then let her.

The pleasure of her company has more than paid for itself.

The pleasure of her company has paid for itself? What? We're talking about dating here, not prostitution.

KERSPLAT!

NachoBusiness wrote: »

'Want' and 'obligation' are two different things. If you offer to pay (and I usually do) but the woman still wants to pay for herself, well then let her.



The pleasure of her company has paid for itself? What? We're talking about dating here, not prostitution.

And what about the pleasure of my flippin company, is that worth nothing!?

But yeah, if a lady friend insists I'd eventually give I'm sure but as before, I like paying for the most part. They can get some drinks in after if they want

Teafor two12345

Don't date issue solved.

eternal

Teafor two12345 wrote: »

Don't date issue solved.

How the hell do you get laid then. I don't subscribe to your newsletter.

KERSPLAT!

eternal wrote: »

How the hell do you get laid then. I don't subscribe to your newsletter.

You don't need to date to get laid. Probably helps but it's not a must.

eternal

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

You don't need to date to get laid. Probably helps but it's not a must.

I know that standing around in bars looking coy helps but it's nice to actually have a connection with a person.

TrustedApple

It all really depends on the girl to me for some strange reason. I have been on dates with girls that i would try anything to get make sure we pay 1/2 and 1/2 EG i am not that interested in her really.

But i had a date there yesterday and she is everything i wont in a girl + more so i had no problem trowing down 40 euros to pay for the meal but i kind of told her order from the early bird its better valve ...... To be fair mains where 20 euros normal and they where doing a starter and a main for 18.

But if where going for drinks i would always pay for the 1st round and expect the same back and keep it going on to where pissed more or less. There at the start of the year i was on a date with a girl and she wouldn't let me pay for drinks and i was getting mad as i really don't like people paying for me or owning money or anything like that just the way i was brought up.

As a lad myself i fell guilty if a girl pays for me on a 1st date as i believe that the lad should be paying for the girl.

One eyed Jack

NachoBusiness wrote: »

'Want' and 'obligation' are two different things. If you offer to pay (and I usually do) but the woman still wants to pay for herself, well then let her.

Only if she absolutely insists on doing so, but otherwise, no, and like I said, I'd be put out if she thought she had to, especially after I'd made the invitation.

The pleasure of her company has paid for itself? What? We're talking about dating here, not prostitution.

Yes? I enjoy interesting dinner company, and if I find a woman interesting, then I consider her time worth paying for. You may see that as prostitution if you like, but I would associate prostitution more with the procurement of sexual services myself. Quite distinct from interesting dinner company.

eternal

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Yes? I enjoy interesting dinner company, and if I find a woman interesting, then I consider her time worth paying for. You may see that as prostitution if you like, but I would associate prostitution more with the procurement of sexual services myself. Quite distinct from interesting dinner company.

I honestly believe you. I would say the only reason I ever ended up with anyone was by making them laugh. It wasn't looks anyway. Personality goes a long way.

johnny osbourne

eternal wrote: »

I honestly believe you. I would say the only reason I ever ended up with anyone was by making them laugh. It wasn't looks anyway. Personality goes a long way.

free cigareytte papres

eternal

johnny osbourne wrote: »

free cigareytte papres

Take your awkward French linguistics elsewhere

johnny osbourne

eternal wrote: »

Take your awkward French linguistics elsewhere

pour quoi me regardes?

Teafor two12345

I think a lot of things come into it.

It's nice if the guy pays. But If he is a student or not earning I am going to meet him half way etc.



If he is earning more than me then I would think it was bad if he didn't pay...really really bad quite frankly. If he was bitter about it I am better off without him.

It's still a factor that a lot of the time the guy earns more than the girl. Not always but some of the time. And so YES he should be paying then.

R.D. aka MR.D

In this day and age, if a women doesn't offer to go halves then you have to question what kind of person she is.

I agree, buy the first and then do rounds. If you are at the cinema, then offer to pay by all means but if you buy the ticket she should buy the snacks.

If it's dinner, I always just say 'let's split the bill'. There is no way that I would want to pay for someone else's dinner. I'm with my OH nearly 4 years and I don't think either of us have paid for the other's dinner ever!

Teafor two12345

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

In this day and age, if a women doesn't offer to go halves then you have to question what kind of person she is.

I'm a goldigging bitch.

stefanovich

First of all since when do Irish people go on dates??

Anyways, man should pay. Woman should probably offer to avoid looking like she expects it but the man should pay.

Nichard Dixon

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

If it's dinner, I always just say 'let's split the bill'. There is no way that I would want to pay for someone else's dinner. I'm with my OH nearly 4 years and I don't think either of us have paid for the other's dinner ever!

I think if a relationship is ongoing in some sense that paying alternately or the like is fair enough, rather than doing calculations on each bill.

Whitewinged

On my first date with my husband, i was a student. Rarely had any money.

We went out for drinks. Im not very organised. Im not one of those women that has her cards all neatly arranged in her purse, i wish i was. I usually fling stuff like cards in the zip pockets of my handbag including money. I went to pay for the first round and realised id lost the 50 euro note (which was all i had). I was really embaressed but he was grand about it. Neither one of us had much money then so after that, whichever one had money was going to share so both of us could go out.

If i was dating now, id just pay half. If someone had the expectation that i was to pay for everything then i think it would annoy me a bit. A friend of mine is like that where she has a rule that the man always pays and it just doesnt come off nice. She has a good job and earns good money. Then again shes usually angry at him for some odd reason before shes even met the bloke so maybe thats why she has it in her head that he has to pay.

Stranger Danger

Just Another Girl wrote: »

If the man insists on paying, then I make sure I get it back next time or make it up somehow.

Nice.

R.D. aka MR.D

Nichard Dixon wrote: »

I think if a relationship is ongoing in some sense that paying alternately or the like is fair enough, rather than doing calculations on each bill.

I agree that it's fair enough as long as it works out in the long run.

My Oh is tight enough with money which suits me down to the ground because I've been messed about in the past by people who let me pay for lunch and then they would buy one drink and think that that's even when lunch cost 11 or 12 euros.

The older I get, the more I realise others weren't brought up with the same ideas about honesty, fairness etc. Some people take the piss and early in a relationship is the best time to spot it and put an end to it.

One eyed Jack

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

In this day and age, if a women doesn't offer to go halves then you have to question what kind of person she is.

Isn't that why you've invited them on a date in the first place? To actually get to know them better? I personally wouldn't give it a second thought if a woman didn't offer to pay, it's less of a headache for me personally arguing over who pays and how we split it and all the rest of it.

Actually the one time I got pissed off and I was relieved I hadn't paid, was when a girl invited me to the cinema, and then throughout the film if she so much as heard me breathing - "Shhhhhh!"... :eek:

Waste of both my time and her time and I made a mental note never to go on a date to the cinema because I like to get to know my dates and the film is just a distraction

Chain Smoker

First date, if I'm the one to suggest it and pick whatever the activity is, I've no problem whatsoever being expected to pay for whatever.

Otherwise, it doesn't matter too much. I definitely would be quite put off by someone who seems to have not paying for anything as an objective though. It's never happened to me but if they're that bloody certain that I should be paying to have the honour of their presence, we're not going to hit it off.

Lau2976

I'll always pay half. I don't like having someone else foot my bill. My boyfriend and I now usually alternate as I've known him nearly all my life. He insisted on our first date that he pay everything and I ended up paying it all!

OneOfThem

Man should always pay and woman should always get her knickers off at the end of the night. Then everyone's happy.

Penny Tration

First date, I always offered to pay or split, or would do rounds.

After that, take it in turns.

Usually, most men haven't allowed me to pay my share on a first date. so when there's been a second, I've insisted on getting it.

When I was a higher earner than my boyfriend, I'd pay most of the time. He's now on about 3 times my wage, so insists on paying all of the time. To make myself feel a bit better, I bring us out for dinner or buy drinks now and then. Works for us though.

superfurry1

I usually bring a menu of the restaurant with me when she goes to the bathroom after all the food she has eaten ice cream and cake and coffee? I mark off what she has eaten calculate the price and make her pay her share she then thinks I'm rain man for calculating the bill to the last penny including tip then we go to play roulette after dinner and its then without doubt she knows for certain I am a complete retard