Good way to get rid of these rats?

Fukuyama

I came home today to some bad news. Barely in the front door was I, when I was ushered into the kitchen where a hushed conversation was had. Followed by an expeditionary trip to the back garden.

In the evening sunlight their tunnels were pointed out to me. This is where they would dig in, set up camp, right there under the decking, I was told.

The education continued.

"They breed and eat, and breed and eat".

I was no expert on rats but by golly I soon became one:

Before you know it you’re over run with the fcukers. They’re in the house then. Crawling on you when you sleep. Eating the food in the kitchen. Bringing all kinds of diseases with them - not to mention little baby rats that soon grow up, breed with one another and take over.

We kept our voices low for fear of neighbours hearing of the “problem” besieging our once all-human back yard. What would they think of us?

“They must leave rubbish lying around the place”, they’d say.

No. We must nip this in the bud before it spirals out of control.

We’re all taken aback by this uninvited, unexpected invasion of rodents. Where have they come from? Why our back garden? Our back garden is no nicer than any other. Nor does it have any rodent bounty such as food or easy access to a sewer. We did nothing to deserve this. We just want to live in peace.

I suppose the why is irrelevant now. They’re here. We know that. No point closing the stable door after the horse has bolted, as they say.

But something must be done. They can’t get inside. That’s where I sleep and watch TV for god’s sake. A man’s home is his castle. They can’t cross over that dividing wall.

Lockdown.

All doors to remain shut. That’s the new policy in our house. Lower ground floor windows to the rear of the house too. There’s talk of purchasing cement. We need to close the gaps. Plug the holes in our perimeter. Build mini rat sized walls if necessary. Enclose them.

"You let one in and they’re all in."

Even the animal lovers would never argue against this.

Sure a mouse gets in. That's one thing. I mean, they're like hamsters really. And they're easily dealt with. I don't mind mice, really, I suppose. They're just hungry little feckers in for the winter. But the rats get in with them you see. They use there same holes and burrows. That's when you're in trouble.

Area secured anyways. Like I said - Lockdown.

But then, that’s not enough. Sure they’ll be out there breeding, planning plotting with all the time in the world to watch, wait and observe. Leave the door open for a second and they're in.

We discuss methods. Preventive measures are proposed. “Maybe they’ll move on if we don’t allow them any possible food source”, it’s proposed. Hmm... we could play the long game. Defeat them with their own sense of living. On an idealogical battlefield if you will.

“But this is all in heindsight” it’s espoused. He’s right, I thought. They’re here NOW, not in two months time. We need action.

I won’t be held hostage by them.

No...

I won’t wait for them to come in here, to MY home. I’m taking the fight out there to them.

We need the fcuking ringleaders. The baby makers. The fat rats. We need to ****ing desimate the supports of their society to the point that they scatter in the wind like a sandstorm.

A rat trap is produced, baited and set. Right next to one of their little tunnels. So small those holes are in the soil. So big that rat trap is, sitting innocently adjacent to it. “Free Cheese” is says.

Back inside we go. Night falls.

Might as well be a different time zone, us and them. We sleep while they play (or should I say ‘plot’ - the fiendish bastards). They were out there. We knew it. But where?

The hours tick by and the evening becomes a normal one. We almost forget the rats as we become engrossed in the TV. The soaps. The Simpsons. Sky News.

Eventually it’s suggested that we check the trap. It’s dark now. This was around 10pm tonight. A smartphone torch is used to guide our path. Hushed voices again as we stalk through the pitch black garden. We find the tunnel. The light bounces around and angry directions are barked to “shine it here for fecks sake!!”.

“We got one!”.

Screams, squeels break the silence. Several members of our party run back into the house and shut the door. Confusion reigns and the light bounces around.

Calm is restored. The few remaining bend over the tunnel.

The light is focused once more and we focus our eyes. There he is. Laying still. Neck surely snapped under the force of the spring loaded bar that flung down and sealed his fate.

All for a balled up corner of EasySingle.

He’s removed from this medieval device and thrown down on the grass for public display. Morbidly, a few pictures were taken of the deceased. Snapchats and Whatsapp messages were sent. “Say cheese” was taunted at the body, it was reported. Although I can neither confirm nor deny this as I was getting a bin liner at the time, you see.

His black beady eyes showed no emotion. No insight to his world, his plight or his being. Just a void, impossible to stare into, merely at.

Bagged and binned, he was discussed briefly. Mission success we thought. But we cannot get complacent. No. That's what they want. We have to get lucky all the time, they only have to get lucky once.

“If you catch one then there’s ten more” says a voice of reason. The trap is hastily reset.

This may be a long, drawn out affair indeed.


Does anyone know a good way to catch rats? There’s a few under my decking I think.

Cheers,

Fukuyama

316

Petrol and a match and take it handy on the typewriter.

Brian from Bray

Wha ?

316

Brian from Bray wrote: »

Wha ?

Are you deaf from listening to the kettle boiling all night?

For Forks Sake

Fire, and lots of it.

emo72

jaysus, that was an epic read. loved it.

Brian from Bray

316 wrote: »

Are you deaf from listening to the kettle boiling all night?

No, are you moody because you didn't get any tonight ?

Buona Fortuna

Get some cats or a couple of Jack Russells

rodge68

Just get a lend of the shotgun off Pat Shortt off Fr Ted and wait up all night with that demonic grin on your face and blow the living ****e out of anything that dare move...take no prisoners boy !

Go all out now, if they set up a trail and get into the house it's very hard to stop them. Rats will gnaw through cement and get through the ubend in a toilet, have heard of people having to fill gaps with concrete mixed with broken glass and nails to stop them.

Rackstar

They'll fight back now. You have to take them all in one go, they'll be in the house before first light.

Yellowblackbird

Where do they come from? ...there's a food source in the area. Bins not properly closed sealed, food left out for birds or pets.


Go to your local hardware store and get rat bait.

emigrate2012

Brian from Bray wrote: »

No, are you moody because you didn't get any tonight ?

No tae......

As for the rats..... A cat, a jack Russell,or a shovel and bait followed by a long wait(and quick reflexes) or fire, fire is always good, cleanses all.

tom_k

Sounds like the OP is dangerously close to a serious infestation. Decisive action must be taken immediately. Ensure all possible food sources are removed to discourage them. Then enlist professional help to exterminate them.

Alternatively, if you feel up to it lay high quality rodenticide to kill them yourself. Storm block bait is good, thread a wire through a few cubes of it and suspend inside 4'' or 6'' short lengths of pipe. This way they'll consume poison in situ rather than bringing it all around the area.

NachoBusiness

Rags soaked in Ammonia scattered around, as they will do anything to get away from the smell, apparently.

The Backwards Man

A good dog, or failing that a good cat, dogs are excellent ratters.

beertons

Larianne wrote: »

Rentokill or petrol, they hate petrol.

I'm pretty sure you'll find none that like rentokill either.

Fiskar

if you are as creative with your hands as you are at storytelling you'll be fine.

Direct kill is best, trap set, discard and reload. Might take a few weeks.

Then that decking ...........

Massimo Cassagrande

Worse than ISIS, them Rats, or the same as. You'd want to be careful they don't get even a slight foothold on your garden - water tends to deter them but not stop them. Dig a moat, or a pond, or buy a cat - Rats hate cats. Give them an inch and you'll be over-run.

Junkyard Tom

I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Fukuyama

Fiskar wrote: »

if you are as creative with your hands as you are at storytelling you'll be fine.

Direct kill is best, trap set, discard and reload. Might take a few weeks.

Then that decking ...........

Hmmm.... I've seen these things online. You can do it yourself. You put peanut butter all around a bottle with a coat hanger through it lengthwise and put it across a bucket filled with water. A little bit of wood so the rat can climb up onto the bottle.

But the minute the rat walks onto the bottle to eat some PB, it turns and he falls into the water. They drown to death. Says you can rack up a good kill count this way. No need to reset.

But then some say it's cruel to inflict a slow downing on the rat. They says it's like torture.

What do you guys think?

Might go B&Q tomorrow. Get some rat killing gear.

stimpson

Give them drugged onions. They'll be dead down the drain.

shamrock55

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

Get some cats or a couple of Jack Russells

This is the best solution

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

That's absolutely disgusting. Rats. How are you even staying there? Going out into the garden when you know they're there?? Time to call rentokil, put down traps, put down poison, fill the holes and smother them with cement, set fire to your house. I will not get a wink of sleep after reading this thread. My worst nightmare

Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius!

I have nothing constructive to offer...I just really enjoyed that read!

Fukuyama

LexieOnRale wrote: »

That's absolutely disgusting. Rats. How are you even staying there? Going out into the garden when you know they're there?? Time to call rentokil, put down traps, put down poison, fill the holes and smother them with cement, set fire to your house. I will not get a wink of sleep after reading this thread. My worst nightmare

No surrender! :mad:

Yellowblackbird

The Backwards Man wrote: »

A good dog, or failing that a good cat, dogs are excellent ratters.

A cat would be no good against a rat.
A young female cat would be good for hunting mice.
A domestic cat - full grown rat would eat the head off it.

Dogs (terriers are good) are good ratters but to eliminate the problem you need to focus on putting down bait and eliminating any food source.

Mongfinder General

Yellowblackbird wrote: »

A cat would be no good against a rat.
A young female cat would be good for hunting mice.
A domestic cat - full grown rat would eat the head off it.

Deadly. What about sharks?

DEFTLEFTHAND

The Backwards Man wrote: »

A good dog, or failing that a good cat, dogs are excellent ratters.

Jack Russells especially when it comes to dealing with rats. Cats are better at mousing.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I'm not messing when I tell this story but one morning I was driving to work, and there was a school bus in front of me that suddenly braked as a big cat ran across the road, being chased by a rat. No word of a lie, the rat chased the cat.

Fukuyama

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Jack Russells especially when it comes to dealing with rats. Cats are better at mousing.

I've a Cairne Terrior but the fight has long since left her. She's old now. 13. She sits in the sun and is friends with the pigeons. She'll have to sit this one out.

I was thinking of stringing up a dead rat as a message to the others. But then I read that they eat other dead rats so that'd probably look like a big kebab spit roast to them.

Hmm...

I wish I knew someone with a big fcuking snake that I could give the run of my back garden for a few days.

sheesh

Mongfinder General wrote: »

Deadly. What about sharks?

they tried that but he couldn't get under the decking.

serious answer get rat poison you lay it in bits of piping to stop other animals eating it.

take apart the decking?

Hammer89

I'd like to advise against getting a cat in to solve the problem. Our family cat brought home a mouse years ago. He scratches at the letterbox, which is basically his door bell, and then he'd just drop the mouse - a live mouse, I should add - in the hall and cause chaos. It was like Tremors. I'd be stood on the couch, while my mam and sister would be stood on two separate chairs. F*ck being on the floor when a little mouse is running around. The cat caught it a number of times and just released it straight away, which suggests that he thought it was a game. So no, cats won't do anything. Plus, rats are much bigger than mice.

Yellowblackbird

Mongfinder General wrote: »

Deadly. What about sharks?

Attack their self esteem to sink them.
A few will aimed offensive put-downs and insults will sort em out.

bpb101

i dont know if the op is asking how do i get rid of rats , or is writing a poem. If its the former go to your neighbor for a lend of their cat. Introduce the rat and the cat. leave them alone for a while. Rat gone, cat fatter . Simple really.

eternal

Keep drinking.

endacl

Apparently they're inevitable...

suicide_circus

I find a golf club is best

pixbyjohn

Go to your nearest Farmers co-op and buy a drum of poison (€50 approx.) put down plenty under the decking in plastic piping, put some light wire through the blocks of poison so as they have to eat it and not take it away to store it. Rats have to gnaw on wood to keep their teeth short so get rid of any timber you have stored about the garden and also get rid of the decking asap. Rats are never more than a few meters away from humans normally so it is good practise to always have rat bait laid all year round. And yes they love peanut butter so spread that on the storm blocks.

Junkyard Tom

Yellowblackbird wrote: »

A cat would be no good against a rat.

That's quite wrong. My Brother sent me a pic of a rat that his rather small female cat had murdered and the thing must have been about two thirds the weight of the cat. Cats are absolutely vicious creatures when their murder instinct kicks in.

Edit: Just put 'cat kills huge rat' into the youtube.com search bar and you'll see plenty of evidence of cats killing huge rats.

Mongfinder General

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

That's quite wrong. My Brother sent me a pic of a rat that his rather small female cat had murdered and the thing must have been about two thirds the weight of the cat. Cats are absolutely vicious creatures when their murder instinct kicks in.

Not as vicious as friggin sharks with laser beams.

siblers

What you need to do is to dig a big hole, fill it with rats. Let the rats starve and they will then turn on each other and start to eat each other, when one rat is left, let it out. It will be addicted to rat and will chase all neighbouring rats and kill every last one of them stone dead.

Mother Brain

You need to launch an aggressive propaganda campaign, followed by a covert operation to fund and train anti rat forces in the area.

If the stoat or perhaps hedgehog populations can be sufficiently agitated against the local rat forces, you may be able to install a friendly power into the government of your back yard leaving your own hands bloodless.

It will be ensured then that your economic interests in the garden are protected through the exclusive awarding of the contracts to rebuild the shattered rat infrastructure go to you!

Yellowblackbird

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

That's quite wrong. My Brother sent me a pic of a rat that his rather small female cat had murdered and the thing must have been about two thirds the weight of the cat. Cats are absolutely vicious creatures when their murder instinct kicks in.

No doubt there is other individual cases like that but the majority of time domestic cats across the board won't take out rats. Obviously there is a spectrum of temperament for any given animal. Most animals are vicious in a life or death scenario, hence the expression never corner a rat.

RDM_83 again

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I will not get a wink of sleep after reading this thread. My worst nightmare

No sorry to tell you its not, this is your worst nightmare

From 1.30
NSFPWDLR (Not Safe For People Who Don't Like Rats).
Great film though.

NachoBusiness

eternal wrote: »

Keep drinking.

Nobody could write that well, drunk.

Well, apart from Bruce Robinson.

donegaLroad

siblers wrote: »

What you need to do is to dig a big hole, fill it with rats. Let the rats starve and they will then turn on each other and start to eat each other, when one rat is left, let it out. It will be addicted to rat and will chase all neighbouring rats and kill every last one of them stone dead.

I was about to suggest this method. It was a common way locally to get rid of them years ago. If they turn cannibal, they will kill each other.

Cold War Kid

RDM_83 again wrote: »

No sorry to tell you its not, this is your worst nightmare

From 1.30
NSFPWDLR (Not Safe For People Who Don't Like Rats).
Great film though.

I see your 1984 rat section... and I raise you... the American Psycho rat section! :eek:

Junkyard Tom

Yellowblackbird wrote: »

No doubt there is other individual cases like that but the majority of time domestic cats across the board won't take out rats.

Far from being individual cases I would have thought cats are essentially hard-wired to kill rats.

Day Lewin

Put some flaked chillies or hot chilli powder on a spade - you may rest it on some greaseproof paper etc
Set fire to it: stand well clear and work fast, the smoke is acrid and will make you cough and eyes weep.
Push this under the decking: it damages their lungs and they will leave. Repeat a week later to be sure they get the message.

Cats will kill young rats but not good size adult ones. My cat, a large neuter tom, often brings in mice, once a shrew, and regularly enough, baby rats.

Cold War Kid

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

Far from being individual cases I would have thought cats are essentially hard-wired to kill rats.

And there's a theory that cats don't bother to kill rats unless they're really hungry. My mother's cat is definitely an exception anyway, as she was a fattie! :pac: