Sex won't work for me..

LegacyUser

So this is pretty embarrassing and I felt I'd to go anon for this one but I'm a bit stuck so if anyone has experienced anything similar some words of wisdom would be great!

I'm 20 and I like sex a lot..only problem is that it won't really work for me. As in, down <i> there </i> is too tight..

I've probably had sex about 10 times, although I honestly would say none of the times were amazing due to my issue.. the first 9 or so times were with my long term boyfriend when I was 18 (we went out from 14-19). I loved him a lot, was so comfortable with him, he never pressured me into anything or anything like that.. he pretty much always let me initiate any sexual action so it's nothing to do with me being uncomfortable etc. We lost our virginity to each other and probably because he hadn't much experience with sex either he may not have noticed the sex not working as much.. or if he did he wouldn't have been the type to have said anything to me about it as he was shy and probably didn't want to upset me or anything. Basically what I'm trying to say is, anytime I've done it only the tip or half can go in, no more than that. Tried once with lube and things improved slightly but not all that much.

Had sex again this year with another guy I was seeing who I really liked, again I was comfortable with him and really wanted to do it. We did it and the same issue arose again.. this time it was noticed and he talked to me about it, when it wasn't really working he asked if I was too nervous or uncomfortable and that it was ok if I wanted to stop. I didn't want to stop and I wanted to do it so we tried but it still didn't fully go in..

It's really bugging me, I love sex and am great with oral sex if I say so myself.. it's just a really tight feeling like it's too sore whenever it goes in. When it comes to masturbating, I only really get off from clitoral stimulation. I don't use tampons, I tried when I was 13/14 and I couldn't get it to work so I've just used pads ever since. The first time I had sex I was expecting the thing to happen where the bit of skin breaks and some blood can come out but it never did and now I'm wondering is that still the problem. Should I start trying to use tampons and open things up a little?

I spoke to a close friend and she said I could subconsciously be nervous about it. That doesn't seem to add up to me though as I've only ever gone there with guys I really like and trust, and I've never had any bad/traumatic experiences with sex or romance etc. I looked up about vaginismus and wonder could that be what it is, but if that's what it is I have no idea to solve it. Please help, really embarassed and frustrated here haha. Thanks

Lucyfur

MOD

As always, no medical advise. Feel free to share experiences.

Das Kitty

A friend of mine had this same issue. Her hymen was thicker than the norm. She had a small operation that sorted it out straight away.

Try to get a gynae referral from your GP.

corkgsxr

On your own Why don't you try small dildoes and work your way up in sizes till you get to a average size.

When your with someone then you know it will fit.

If it doesn't work you know it might be a medical issue

SillyBeans

Das Kitty wrote: »

A friend of mine had this same issue. Her hymen was thicker than the norm. She had a small operation that sorted it out straight away.

Try to get a gynae referral from your GP.

I had this done years ago. Really quick and easy. Worst bit was having to fast the night before the op!

Speak to your GP and get them to have a look. That could rule out anything medical.

Day Lewin

How would you get along with a very small-size tampon, well lubricated with Vaseline or similar, (or with a special gel such as KY jelly?)
or a mere tiny fingertip to start with?
I'm thinking in terms of slow and gradual widening out by stretching a tiny bit at a time.
But maybe a quick look by a GP or gynae would reveal something simple that can quickly be solved so that is a good idea for sure.
Best of luck, and well done for plucking up the courage to post at all, LOL