Going to hell

Cody montana

Your reasons?

I once couldn't be bothered using the upstairs toilet in a pub.
The disabled toilet was on the bottom floor so I decided to use that instead.

As I was coming out the manager approached me so I put on a limp to justify my actions and limped past him.

I am not proud of this.

Buona Fortuna

Cody montana wrote: »

As I was coming out the manager approached me so I put on a limp to justify my actions and limped past him.

I am not proud of this.

Any port in a storm.

darkpagandeath

Being a None Christian, I won't be going to Hell.

the evasion_kid

I shoved a vending machine after it robbed a 50c on me and it spat out 2 euro and a kit kat.....I always knew crime would pay

The Randy Riverbeast

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Being a None Christian, I won't be going to Hell.

Or to a christian thats exactly why you'll be going to hell!

ElleEm

Cody montana wrote: »

Your reasons?

I once couldn't be bothered using the upstairs toilet in a pub.
The disabled toilet was on the bottom floor so I decided to use that instead.

As I was coming out the manager approached me so I put on a limp to justify my actions and limped past him.

I am not proud of this.

I have MS, and on a bad day, I have a limp. If I am using a disabled parking spot or a disabled toilet and I feel like people are judging me, I sometimes ham my limp up!

Buona Fortuna

The Randy Riverbeast wrote: »

Or to a christian thats exactly why you'll be going to hell!

Yeah but - whether he is or isn't, he till won't be going to hell, will he?

kneemos

ElleEm wrote: »

I have MS, and on a bad day, I have a limp. If I am using a disabled parking spot or a disabled toilet and I feel like people are judging me, I sometimes ham my limp up!

Why do you have a disabled sticker if all you have at worst is a limp?

Tigger

blahhahahahahahahhhahhahahhha
yeah i'm not telling

Digital Solitude

I must have committed mass genocide in a past life to end up in Leitrim. I'll be good this time

One eyed Jack

kneemos wrote: »

Why do you have a disabled sticker if all you have at worst is a limp?

Because they have MS? I'd have thought that one was obvious.

I already have my seat pre-booked in Hell, right beside Mila Kunis, for many more things than I'd actually care to confess tbh

jimmycrackcorm

I've been to Connaught so clearly I'm ok.

Bongalongherb

Does any-one have a location or degrees of this so-called Hell ?. If not, then it does not exist, but in saying this, many people are already in Hell, and it's called earth.

ElleEm

kneemos wrote: »

Why do you have a disabled sticker if all you have at worst is a limp?

Do a bit of research on MS! The limp isn't the only thing that affects me. I use a walking aid but no- one can see it under my clothes. Somedays I am so affected that the walking aid doesn't work fully, and I limp.

GerB40

Like Mark Twain said "I'd go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company".

Littlehorny

Cody montana wrote: »

Your reasons?

I once couldn't be bothered using the upstairs toilet in a pub.
The disabled toilet was on the bottom floor so I decided to use that instead.

As I was coming out the manager approached me so I put on a limp to justify my actions and limped past him.

I am not proud of this.

It's still a public toilet, its not for the exclusive use of disabled people. Just modified to make it easier if a disabled person needs to use it.

hatrickpatrick

I will admit to occasionally shrugging in the squat rack. I know, I know, this is what happens when you abolish the threat of public floggings...

indioblack

Cody montana wrote: »

Your reasons?

I once couldn't be bothered using the upstairs toilet in a pub.
The disabled toilet was on the bottom floor so I decided to use that instead.

As I was coming out the manager approached me so I put on a limp to justify my actions and limped past him.

I am not proud of this.

Only in Ireland.

Because I'm not a member of every religion and some of those say that if I'm not part of them, then I'm going to Hell.

conorhal

ElleEm wrote: »

I have MS, and on a bad day, I have a limp. If I am using a disabled parking spot or a disabled toilet and I feel like people are judging me, I sometimes ham my limp up!

I think I've booked my place in hell after pissing myself laughing at his comment. :pac:

Nominated for comment of the week!

The_Valeyard

I plan on running the place once I get there.

It's a big bustling place, filled with loose women, beer, casinos, and always warm.

Sure there's a highway to hell but only a stairway to heaven

kneemos

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Because I'm not a member of every religion and some of those say that if I'm not part of them, then I'm going to Hell.

Doesn't matter if you're a member or not,if they're right you're still going to hell.

Dunno about you, but with the number of people going there, Hell seems like it'd be so much fun.

Sometimes, I make a new mug of tea without rinsing the mug of the remaining drops of the old one. Other times, I throw small pieces of packaging in the bin, when it should be in the recycling bag. Once I put an old duvet in the clothes recycling bin, and last week a rude lady served me in the chemist, so when she handed me my stuff, I didn't even say thanks.

It's like I was born a natural bad ass.

indioblack

Candie wrote: »

Sometimes, I make a new mug of tea without rinsing the mug of the remaining drops of the old one. Other times, I throw small pieces of packaging in the bin, when it should be in the recycling bag. Once I put an old duvet in the clothes recycling bin, and last week a rude lady served me in the chemist, so when she handed me my stuff, I didn't even say thanks.

It's like I was born a natural bad ass.

There's no hope for you.

Very Bored

Heaven is the most popular place to go to, but I like unpopular old mens pubs in the south-east, where I come from, because they have large bottles of Guinness, decidedly the less popular of the two Guinness options so maybe the less popular option of Hell would suit me.

Why will I end up there?

Well, because I w****d profusely as a teenager and I'm not adverse to the odd visit to Mrs. Collins and her five fine daughters even now despite being married for years and thoroughly enjoying *ahem* another option. I haven't been to mass since I turned 18 and was able to make the choice for myself instead of my parents forcing me to go but I do remember the priests, who from what I could tell must have done the same thing even more profusely than I because I never saw a wife that belonged to any of them , regularly saying "down with that sort of thing".

indioblack

Very Bored wrote: »

Heaven is the most popular place to go to, but I like unpopular old mens pubs in the south-east, where I come from, because they have large bottles of Guinness, decidedly the less popular of the two Guinness options so maybe the less popular option of Hell would suit me.

Why will I end up there?

Well, because I w****d profusely as a teenager and I'm not adverse to the odd visit to Mrs. Collins and her five fine daughters even now despite being married for years and thoroughly enjoying *ahem* another option. I haven't been to mass since I turned 18 and was able to make the choice for myself instead of my parents forcing me to go but I do remember the priests, who from what I could tell must have done the same thing even more profusely than I because I never saw a wife that belonged to any of them , regularly saying "down with that sort of thing".

There's definitely no hope for you.

Very Bored

indioblack wrote: »

There's definitely no hope for you.

Good, House of the Large Bottle here I come .

Candie

Candie wrote: »

Sometimes, I make a new mug of tea without rinsing the mug of the remaining drops of the old one. Other times, I throw small pieces of packaging in the bin, when it should be in the recycling bag. Once I put an old duvet in the clothes recycling bin, and last week a rude lady served me in the chemist, so when she handed me my stuff, I didn't even say thanks.

It's like I was born a natural bad ass.

Heathen!!!!

nullzero

Candie wrote: »

Sometimes, I make a new mug of tea without rinsing the mug of the remaining drops of the old one. Other times, I throw small pieces of packaging in the bin, when it should be in the recycling bag. Once I put an old duvet in the clothes recycling bin, and last week a rude lady served me in the chemist, so when she handed me my stuff, I didn't even say thanks.

It's like I was born a natural bad ass.

Sounds like "I'm evil" by Ryk Mayall ; "I don't wipe my bottom, when I go to the loo..."

nullzero

nullzero wrote: »

Sounds like "I'm evil" by Ryk Mayall ; "I don't wipe my bottom, when I go to the loo..."

My bottom is a sparling temple of cleanliness. A peach of a thing!

When I say I'm a bad ass, that's not what I mean!!!

Bongalongherb

All of you funny people make me laugh. You don't understand that you are in hell already, it's just tarted up to make you think you're living the free life. Can you travel comfortably outside of this round ball of a prison ? of course not, this is because you are all in hell obviously.

You are quarantined on this planet with no way of individual escape as gravity is your hell keeping you down so that you cannot free yourself like a bird even to rise up above a cloud (even an aeroplane has to come back down) Sure, you can build a spaceship and move out further from this planet and feel the radiation and anomalies of its own hell for you while you cry and dread deep space and want to come home to your hell of a prison planet.

Hell covered in colourful treats of visual niceties to keep folk occupied to believe they are free while stuck on the crust of a rock-ball. Folk think they are going to hell ? > you're already in it, wake up for devils sake.

Bongalongherb

Bongalongherb wrote: »

All of you funny people make me laugh. You don't understand that you are in hell already, it's just tarted up to make you think you're living the free life. Can you travel comfortably outside of this round ball of a prison ? of course not, this is because you are all in hell obviously.

You are quarantined on this planet with no way of individual escape as gravity is your hell keeping you down so that you cannot free yourself like a bird even to rise up above a cloud (even an aeroplane has to come back down) Sure, you can build a spaceship and move out further from this planet and feel the radiation and anomalies of its own hell for you while you cry and dread deep space and want to come home to your hell of a prison planet.

Hell covered in colourful treats of visual niceties to keep folk occupied to believe they are free while stuck on the crust of a rock-ball. Folk think they are going to hell ? > you're already in it, wake up for devils sake.

Have a drink and watch a few comedies.

Very Bored

Bongalongherb wrote: »

All of you funny people make me laugh. You don't understand that you are in hell already, it's just tarted up to make you think you're living the free life. Can you travel comfortably outside of this round ball of a prison ? of course not, this is because you are all in hell obviously.

You are quarantined on this planet with no way of individual escape as gravity is your hell keeping you down so that you cannot free yourself like a bird even to rise up above a cloud (even an aeroplane has to come back down) Sure, you can build a spaceship and move out further from this planet and feel the radiation and anomalies of its own hell for you while you cry and dread deep space and want to come home to your hell of a prison planet.

Hell covered in colourful treats of visual niceties to keep folk occupied to believe they are free while stuck on the crust of a rock-ball. Folk think they are going to hell ? > you're already in it, wake up for devils sake.

Sounds like you've been drinking a few large bottles of Guinness yourself .

the evasion_kid

Bongalongherb wrote: »

All of you funny people make me laugh. You don't understand that you are in hell already, it's just tarted up to make you think you're living the free life. Can you travel comfortably outside of this round ball of a prison ? of course not, this is because you are all in hell obviously.

You are quarantined on this planet with no way of individual escape as gravity is your hell keeping you down so that you cannot free yourself like a bird even to rise up above a cloud (even an aeroplane has to come back down) Sure, you can build a spaceship and move out further from this planet and feel the radiation and anomalies of its own hell for you while you cry and dread deep space and want to come home to your hell of a prison planet.

Hell covered in colourful treats of visual niceties to keep folk occupied to believe they are free while stuck on the crust of a rock-ball. Folk think they are going to hell ? > you're already in it, wake up for devils sake.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ONlH9ieqgc

nullzero

Candie wrote: »

My bottom is a sparling temple of cleanliness. A peach of a thing!

When I say I'm a bad ass, that's not what I mean!!!

If you've never heard the song in question I highly recommend youtubing it

challengemaster

http://files.explosm.net/comics/Rob/hell.png

Onlibby

Cody montana wrote: »

Your reasons?

I once couldn't be bothered using the upstairs toilet in a pub.
The disabled toilet was on the bottom floor so I decided to use that instead.

As I was coming out the manager approached me so I put on a limp to justify my actions and limped past him.

I am not proud of this.

********
Lol I told bouncers I would leave the pub (it was waaaay past closing time!) if they could find my wheelchair! It was a downstairs bar and I was perched on a high stool, wanted to finish my drink (u know how it is...?) and after a 30
Min hunt for my "chair" another bouncer came along and said "didn't I see u dancing earlier" so I gave up and announced "it's a miracle!!!" And headed up the stairs leaving a lot of stunned faces behind me so if ur going to hell for using the disabled loo, I'll definitely see u there!!!! ;-)

nullzero

nullzero wrote: »

If you've never heard the song in question I highly recommend youtubing it

Oh.....:)

Pherekydes

Does anyone in AH seriously believe in Hell?

efb

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrgpZ0fUixs

Wright

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Being a None Christian, I won't be going to Hell.

Surely you mean non-christian.

And I'm not sure that's how it works. Who would opt in to a religion with a 50/50 gamble? 'Hell' isn't unique to whatever religion is interpreting it, nor are believers the only ones at risk, according to their creed.

Pherekydes wrote: »

Does anyone in AH seriously believe in Hell?

The christian forums on boards are quite active ( and can be pretty scary places at times, IMO).

Bongalongherb

Candie wrote: »

Have a drink and watch a few comedies.

I just did, it was all funny, but then when the curtain closed I realised I was back in hell

Cody montana

I once found a fiver on the ground at a charity event and instead of donating it, I bought a pint.

Beanntraigheach

Hell doesn't look too bad a place to me.
I might visit some day.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Norway

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bb/Hell2.jpg

DarkyHughes

nullzero wrote: »

Sounds like "I'm evil" by Ryk Mayall ; "I don't wipe my bottom, when I go to the loo..."

Or that Tom Green song from the 90's. "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips. It's a lot of fun to put you're bum on a man"

anncoates

Maybe it's just me, but I think it seems possible to enter into the spirit of the thread without spotty undergraduate dissertations about the validity of hell?

Bongalongherb

The word Heaven means space/above, If I cannot get out of here I am indeed in hell stuck here like the rest of you suckers. When we can all move freely within this galaxy and visit many thousands of different planets that can sustain us life-support then we will be closer to this so-called heaven than this hell of capture on a crust of rock rotating around this sun for eternity.

conorh91

I have met some people who I feel sure are going to Hell, if it exists.

I don't even know whether I believe in Hell, by the way. But these people were so depraved they make my flesh crawl, just thinking about them. I would rather spend 24 hours in a confined space with hungry rats.

I'm sure most people have met someone like that. Someone you just know is deeply evil, with no redeeming characteristics.

Using a disabled person's toilet is not even on that scale, OP. The fact that you even felt guilty about such a petty issue shows that you have a fairly robust conscience

Grandeeod

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Being a None Christian, I won't be going to Hell.

And what if Christianity turns out to be the real deal? How will you feel in hell, getting the arsed burned and ****ed off you by Satan and his minnions? (and I'm not talking about those cute yellow lads in dungarees.)

Grandeeod

anncoates wrote: »

Maybe it's just me, but I think it's seems possible to enter into the spirit of the thread without spotty undergraduate dissertations about the validity of hell?

On Boards? Spirit?

Absolutely not.

(Im not a spotty undergraduate.)