WILL I EVER WORK AGAIN

LegacyUser

Im being totally honest here ive not worked since i was 22 and ive Ive just turned thirty... i worked full time for 3 years and i hated every minute of it the early morning the terrible wages dealing with customers ive very bad social anxiety cant talk to anyone i dont know without going red or stuttering..i got a job last year and i walked out after a few weeks just could not handle it. now myself and my boyfriend want to get a flat or rent a room and im only on 188 a week and cant afford to move out with him but i still cant bring myself to work as i know any job i do i will hate and will be miserable and dread every day going in no matter what job it is

LegacyUser

I'm in a similar position, I also have social anxiety and haven't a great employment history. I would really urge you to seek help for the anxiety, it is a real condition which can be treated using medication and most importantly therapy. Seeing your GP would be a good way to start this - explain the impact the social anxiety is having on your life.

There are also ways to get back into working through Solas, such as employment schemes, training courses and internships, which could help you gain more confidence with working - so I would advice you to call into your local office. Admitting to the real issue is a good first step, now seek help. It will probably be tough but you can do it.

dd972

I'm somewhat older, as the username hints, and haven't worked for three years and I've been happier than any time I've been employed. Like yourself I'm an introvert albeit one who forced themselves to do fish-out-of-water customer facing jobs for years and hated it.

It isn't worth the aggravation to try and fit in among that world, It makes me laugh when society regards people like as as misfits or oddballs, what sort of frigging lunatic or weirdo wants to spend 40+ hours a week with a bunch of strangers? I'd watch these 'worko's' schmoozing about the place and they genuinely loved being there, leave 'em to it I say.

athtrasna

Sounds like you're in the wrong kind of job. If you don't want a customer facing job, put yourself in a position to be more qualified to work in a non public environment. The dole really isn't supposed to be a long term support, especially when you're on it because it's easier than working.

Pawwed Rig

Is there anything you like to do or are good at? Most people couldn't do a job they hate in the long term.

The DSP will often allow you get qualifications without losing benefits.

5rtytry56

I'm an introvert myself and also 40+ and not in the best place carreer wise either.

zoobizoo

I used to suffer badly from social anxiety and hated a lot of jobs that I did.

I actually ended up running my own little business where it was all about meeting and greeting people - it really changed me for the better.

You can get over your shyness / anxiety - search out some ways online or go talk to someone. You don't have to turn in to an extrovert - but it will help you in the long run.

There are plenty of jobs out there where you don't deal with the public. Office work, backroom staff, a chef, etc etc...

miamee

It sounds like you have only had one job for the three years and then another one for a few weeks?
There are thousands of careers out there and there are bound to be one or two at the very least that don't make you break out in a cold sweat on a Sunday evening at the thoughts of going in on Monday morning (cos that is no way to live at all). Aside from working on your social anxiety, start reading up about different jobs and careers. I'm sure there are questionnaires and things online you could try to see what type of job you would be suited to. Maybe you like helping people or you love animals or you enjoy making things or cooking or baking or driving...whatever it is you enjoy there is going to be a job out there to do it. All jobs are not even remotely the same so don't write off your entire future career based on two jobs that were not suitable for you. Good luck

eviltwin

Try volunteering. It's great for boredom, will give your cv a boost, is a safe way of exploring different career areas and will help get you out of your shell. It could also lead to paid employment. Don't give up. Your only 30, you still have time to find your career path.

power pants

Can you address your issues that are stopping you from working? To be on benefits for 8 years is pretty staggering.

If you dont wish to do this, you need to accept that you will not be able to afford most things in life people take for granted.

Most people dont like the thought of work, I dont but at the same time relying on state handouts would appeal to me even less

Permabear

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LegacyUser

girl2212 wrote: »

i know any job i do i will hate and will be miserable and dread every day going in no matter what job it is

No you don't know this OP as you can't possible have experience of every possible job out there. You've had two job experiences and have decided you didn't like them and are assuming (wrongly) that all jobs are the same.

What have you done to address your anxiety issues? Have you spoken to your GP?

What have you done to look at other employment options? If your not suited to front of house/customer facing roles then why not look at other options. Do you want to work out doors or indoors, with computers or machinery etc etc….the reality is no career is perfect but you find what you enjoy and make it work. Don't like early mornings then find shift work that has a later start….not all jobs are 9 to 5. The idea of traditional 9 to 5 rat race jobs are becoming very out dated, most companies are more flexible. The reality is though you've no skills as I assume while not working you've also not done any courses or training so you are going to have to face some negatives with starting a job, being bottom of the ladder and all.

I suffer awful social anxiety but with counselling have a good handle on it. I have a very flexible career that allows me to work from home most days. I only have to go into an office for a day every other week but I couldn't do that to start I had to work in the office. I knew I could get to the point I'm at now so I set that as my goal and it made the negative things manageable. There is no quick each fix here OP you'll need to face you issues and maybe it will suck for a year or two but your other option is to sit where you are now, never move forward with your life and find yourself at a point were it's no longer possible.

wdmfapq4zs83hv

Sorry but if your getting €188 a week then sounds like you are on Jobseekers, aren't you supposed to be job seeking?? Doesn't sound at all like you are. Not many of us like getting up early & doing crappy jobs but have to. If you have social anxiety what are you doing to address it? I've done jobs I've absolutely hated that's life! Try up skilling & thinking about what you really want to do.

LegacyUser

i am being honest in saying im not looking for work because work is not for me i hate everything about it i have tried working in different jobs everything was the same ... the social anxiety is something ive learned to deal with i was on tablets for years and they did not work so i just have to stay away from crowds and situations i will find awkward.. ok i get down sitting around the house all day but most of the time i try to be busy and maybe once or twice a week i have a day were i actually do nothing the money side is the worst bit tho its hard to try have nice things clothes etc go on holidays on 188 a week its usually gone 4 days after i get it and i could go 2 to 3 days with no cash. also living at home at my age is not the best situation as all my siblings have moved out are married have jobs and nice houses and are not that much older then me them kind of things make me wish i had a good income but i cannot see myself getting full time work it scares me to even think about it

Wanderer2010

OP, how did you meet a boyfriend when you have such bad social anxiety? Im just curious. I have had it in the past where social occasions scare me and worsen my anxiety and i have found people are completely put off by this behavior not out of meanness but it makes them uncomfortable to be around people who are not confident and social like them. I certainly had no chance to meet a partner in that mindset.

5rtytry56

Does your partner accept you in your current state OP?

LegacyUser

my social anxiety is only around people i dont know im fine with close friends my boyfriend and my family no1 really knows i suffer from it ....but when it comes to talking to strangers people ive just met or bosses in a job i would just melt and not have a clue what to say im a nervous type of person and i over think everything...my last job i left because my boss made me feel really stupid in front of a customer...i left that day in tears and i was so nervous about returning to work the next day incase this happened again so i never went back. my boyfriend understands me and knows im very social awkward at times but other times im fine depending on who im around

wdmfapq4zs83hv

girl2212 wrote: »

i am being honest in saying im not looking for work because work is not for me i hate everything about it i have tried working in different jobs everything was the same ... the social anxiety is something ive learned to deal with i was on tablets for years and they did not work so i just have to stay away from crowds and situations i will find awkward.. ok i get down sitting around the house all day but most of the time i try to be busy and maybe once or twice a week i have a day were i actually do nothing the money side is the worst bit tho its hard to try have nice things clothes etc go on holidays on 188 a week its usually gone 4 days after i get it and i could go 2 to 3 days with no cash. also living at home at my age is not the best situation as all my siblings have moved out are married have jobs and nice houses and are not that much older then me them kind of things make me wish i had a good income but i cannot see myself getting full time work it scares me to even think about it

Sorry but your commiting benefit fraud & not many people are going to be sympathetic to that just because "work isnt for you". Your siblings all have these nice things because they work for them! How are you getting away with claiming jobseekers? You have to attend a lot of interviews proving you are looking for work dont you, surely thats worse for your social anxiety to be lying to the social services people all the time...?

Penny Tration

Caleb Tart Word wrote: »

Sorry but your commiting benefit fraud & not many people are going to be sympathetic to that just because "work isnt for you". Your siblings all have these nice things because they work for them! How are you getting away with claiming jobseekers? You have to attend a lot of interviews proving you are looking for work dont you, surely thats worse for your social anxiety to be lying to the social services people all the time...?

Once you're long term unemployed, social welfare generally don't bother hounding you to prove you're looking for work. My boyfriend's brother hasn't worked for seven or eight years and never hears a word from them.

Op, if you don't want to work, that's your decision and that's fine. What's NOT fine is defrauding the state and letting taxpayers pay for you. You can't go on holidays on 188 euro per week and have no money after four days? I'll be blunt - I'm working and I have had ONE holiday in twelve years, only because my parents paid for it. I'm broke the day after I get paid. I currently have ninety two cents to my name. So, you're doing better than most.

You cant expect to be able to move out and be independent while you refuse to work.

If your social anxiety is so bad that you can't work, how did you manage to meet your boyfriend and speak to him before you got together?

With regards to your anxiety - see a doctor. I have anxiety and it can be crippling, it's very tough. A doctor can sort out a treatment plan to help with this.

I think you're using it as an excuse somewhat, though. You have mentioned your anxiety but you've also mentioned how you just simply don't want to work, won't be happy in any job and hate the idea of working.

None of us WANT to work. We do it so we can afford our lives, not because it's enjoyable!

If your anxiety truly prevents you from being able to work, and you see your doctor and start being treated, you can be signed onto illness benefit if he thinks it's bad enough to prevent you from working.

As an aside - if your boyfriend is working or on the dole, your benefits will likely be reduced if you move in with him (if you don't plan to defraud the state some more and go cohabitant!).

LegacyUser

girl2212 wrote: »

i am being honest in saying im not looking for work because work is not for me i hate everything about it i have tried working in different jobs everything was the same ... the social anxiety is something ive learned to deal with i was on tablets for years and they did not work so i just have to stay away from crowds and situations i will find awkward.. ok i get down sitting around the house all day but most of the time i try to be busy and maybe once or twice a week i have a day were i actually do nothing the money side is the worst bit tho its hard to try have nice things clothes etc go on holidays on 188 a week its usually gone 4 days after i get it and i could go 2 to 3 days with no cash. also living at home at my age is not the best situation as all my siblings have moved out are married have jobs and nice houses and are not that much older then me them kind of things make me wish i had a good income but i cannot see myself getting full time work it scares me to even think about it

You've decided that work isn't for you but you've only had 2 jobs, if I've read correctly? Isn't there anything you would love to do, e.g. work with children, help others, make scientific discoveries, run a business? You don't have to work in dead end jobs for the rest of your life, you could find something that you're really passionate about and which suits your personality. You might just have to start at the bottom of the ladder again, as most people have to do for a while. Have you thought about going back to college?

You were on tablets, but have you tried therapy? There are treatments like CBT, and psychotherapy as well. The thought of work scares you, but I think you realise that your life won't be great if you keep on doing the same thing.

LegacyUser

I am a very shy and introverted person. I also used to go incredibly red when I spoke to anyone I didn't know. But its never stopped me working, during the worst time of me going red I able to find a job that had very little interaction with people. There has to be something out there for you. I'm sorry if I come across as insensitive but I think you need to stop using it as an excuse and just get out there and find some work. You're letting your anxiety hold you back in life. Stop letting it control you.

Pawwed Rig

So what advice do you want? The thread title is 'Will I ever work again' yet your posts seem adamant that you do not want to work again. A few people have offered good advice all of which you have ignored so far! Not sure what you're looking for here.

CaraMay

What work are you doing on yourself to help with this social anxiety. You just have a lot of hope of overcoming it given you get on so well with friends and family. Have you been to counselling or cbt to overcome this? It's time to move into the real world op and try to figure a way through this. You can't live at home forever. If nothing else your parents are entitled to have their home back to themselves.

Being on benefits for life really isn't what you want for yourself.

Permabear

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tomwaterford

OP...I believe you want to work!!

Though I get why you wouldn't want to work in a customer facing job (I couldn't do it/find it v.hard...despite being fairly good at what I do!)

It's no way to live dreading work everyday and it appears your last boss was v.unprofessional to make you look thick in front of customers

Would you try factory work...give it a go for a few weeks anyway....not great but factories usually tend to pay quite well


As for curing social anxiety....while touch wood I've never been too bad....If it's as bad as you say...maybe go see your gp for proper help

As its a lot easier said than done to go out trying chit chat/going in the deep end of conversations when even asking for the simplest thing off someone you know takes 10 mins to build up the courage/calm yourself down from talking too fast....you'll soon learn kinda coping mechanisms if you have to

LegacyUser

benefit fraud i dont think think so im mentally afraid to work im afraid of interacting with customers talking to strangers etc if i went back to my doctor i know for a fact he would sign me over to illness benefit for serious social anxiety.. how i met my boyfriend has nothing to do with this i still go out to the cinema nights out concerts etc with my boyfriend and my friends i dont have to talk to strangers or interact with them in those situations.. and feel fine when im around the ones i love i dont just sit in the house all day....... ive just got so used to not working the taught of working makes me feel sick to my stomach the reason i came on here is to find out how to overcome the fear of working i DO want to work but im AFRAID to work that is all

Zaph

girl2212 wrote: »

i am being honest in saying im not looking for work because work is not for me i hate everything about it

If everyone had that attitude none of us would ever get out of bed in the morning. Do you honestly think that everyone else loves their jobs? I have only ever come across a handful of people who I could say loved their job, the rest of us just get on with it because a) we have bills to pay; and b) we don't want to be a perpetual burden on society. Other people have posted on here that they too have suffered from social anxiety and they have gotten on with their lives despite it being very tough for them to do so, and while I hate being the bad guy here you're really going to have to toughen up and follow their example. You've been given advice and your only comeback is that "work isn't for you". You say that you took tablets once for the social anxiety. Is that all you've done to try and address the problem? If your GP isn't offering you more than tablets as treatment, then go to another GP. This really needs to be your starting point, your life isn't going to magically turn itself around without you taking steps to help yourself. I'm sorry if I'm not coming across as being super-sympathetic because I genuinely am towards your condition, it must be an awful thing to live with. But at the same time I'm also seeing someone who is essentially stealing the tax I work bloody hard for the privilege of paying and who doesn't appear to want to help herself, and it's very hard to have much sympathy for that.

LegacyUser

girl2212 wrote: »

i am being honest in saying im not looking for work because work is not for me i hate everything about it i have tried working in different jobs everything was the same ... the social anxiety is something ive learned to deal with i was on tablets for years and they did not work so i just have to stay away from crowds and situations i will find awkward.. ok i get down sitting around the house all day but most of the time i try to be busy and maybe once or twice a week i have a day were i actually do nothing the money side is the worst bit tho its hard to try have nice things clothes etc go on holidays on 188 a week its usually gone 4 days after i get it and i could go 2 to 3 days with no cash. also living at home at my age is not the best situation as all my siblings have moved out are married have jobs and nice houses and are not that much older then me them kind of things make me wish i had a good income but i cannot see myself getting full time work it scares me to even think about it

So to answer your question OP will you ever work again....No not with that attitude. You say you hate everything about work but by your own omission have only had two jobs. Then here you claim you tired working other jobs but be honest you haven't, your just trying to excuse peoples advice to you to try different fields. You claim you took tablets for social anxiety to avoid addressing what people have posted asking about dealing with the anxiety. I've suffered from crippling anxiety and I dealt with it through counseling not medication. It took ages to find someone that worked for me but I didn't just throw in the towel.

Be honest OP what exactly do you want to get from starting this thread if your not willing to take the advice offered? You clearly have some small bit of drive left because you started the thread but your posts are so full of excuses and defensive attitude. Either you want to change or you don't. not changing is easy and comfortable but all the things your not happy with - no money, living at home over 30 doesn't change. Making an effort is going to be scary, it will take you out of your comfort zone and will require effort on your part but it's the only way anything is going to change

mg1982

You have my sympathy OP. I think when you have social anxiety it makes work and especially jobs dealing with the public very challenging. I have had to leave a number of college courses and jobs in the last few years down to bad anxiety. Its not that i dont want to work or to further my education. Its just having this condition makes it incredibley hard.

Stheno

girl2212 wrote: »

Im being totally honest here ive not worked since i was 22 and ive Ive just turned thirty... i worked full time for 3 years and i hated every minute of it the early morning the terrible wages dealing with customers ive very bad social anxiety cant talk to anyone i dont know without going red or stuttering..i got a job last year and i walked out after a few weeks just could not handle it. now myself and my boyfriend want to get a flat or rent a room and im only on 188 a week and cant afford to move out with him but i still cant bring myself to work as i know any job i do i will hate and will be miserable and dread every day going in no matter what job it is

Are you on jobseekers or disability allowance? If your anxiety is so bad that you cannot interact with strangers then it should be disability allowance.

Have you ever considered any particular roles that you would enjoy?

Or is the thought of ever working something you dread?

Your benefits on €188 a week for the last eight years total almost €80 thousand euro in social welfare alone, what have you done to deal with your issues, put a programme in place to deal with your anxiety and start to contribute to society?

Or do you plan on spending the rest of your life on benefits?

Barely There

Have you actually been diagnosed with 'social anxiety' by a professional or is it a label you've decided to attach to yourself to justify not working?

There are people who genuinely need state support. Nothing you've posted would lead me to believe you are one of them.

Given the finite recourses we have to provide State services to those truly in need, for you to be hovering up €200odd a week because you've decided that 'work just isn't for you' is pretty morally repugnant behaviour.

tomwaterford

Barely There wrote: »

Have you actually been diagnosed with 'social anxiety' by a professional or is it a label you've decided to attach to yourself to justify not working?

There are people who genuinely need state support. Nothing you've posted would lead me to believe you are one of them.

Given the finite recourses we have to provide State services to those truly in need, for you to be hovering up €200odd a week because you've decided that 'work just isn't for you' is pretty morally repugnant behaviour.

This is helpful....how??


Of course the op wants to work...no one would ever not want to...

Op....there are some roles out there that would suit somebody with social anxiety better than others
Warehouse/factories etc....once you settle in...not great jobs....but at least some money etc...which she appears to at least want

dudara

Posters - I feel that there have been enough dole-related comments. Let's try to give some specific advice to the OP.

dudara

Penny Tration

OP, if you want to overcome your anxiety, you need to to back to your doctor.

If he only offers you meds, request a referral to a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist will give you a correct diganosis (GPs are supposed to refer you on to a psych for an official diagnosis), and set up a treatment plan to suit you. That may be meds, counselling, behavioural therapy or a combination.

Anxiety is a bitch. I have it, and Christ it's been bad. I'm being treated for it. I had a meeting yesterday. Without treatment, I wouldn't have gone. I'd have panicked too much and gone to bed tbh! However, now I'm receiving treatment that helps me, I went. Yes, I shook and I sweated and I dreaded it - but it was fine. I did it.

I work facing the public. When I have complaints or issues, I panic. I still deal with it, though.

This thread, while talking about your anxiety, also mentions that you do not want to work. Be honest with yourself (you don't have to answer us here) - are you using your anxiety partly as an excuse? Because it seems that way.

If you believe you'll get illness benefit if you go to your doctor (you said you would?), then go to your doctor.
You said pills didn't work. Did you only try them once? It took me a good seven or eight meds before finding the one that suited me, and a few different types of therapy. It takes time.

Ultimately, this isn't what you want from life, is it? To be on the dole long term, no money to buy anything nice, no money to move out, living with your folks in your thirties? Surely you want more? To settle down, maybe marry, get a home, have kids?

If you want all of these things, you have to get up, fight your anxiety and go get help. And stick with it til the correct treatment for you is found.

drunkmonkey

OK you've an 8 year gap in your cv and no mention of educating yourself in that time, no I don't think you'll work again your pretty much unemployable as you are. Most employers wouldn't look twice at your cv.

Your only hope now is get back into education, take it seriously and maybe in 4/5 years time your in a lot better position in life both mentally and financially.

Your anxiety should start to disappear once you start interacting with the world again in a non confrontional environment, there's a lot of students just as terrified as you about going into the workplace.

Forget the doctor route unless you want to wallow in depression and anxiety for the next 50 years.
Go get careers advice, get off the dole, stop being afraid of people we don't bite.

Penny Tration

drunkmonkey wrote: »

OK you've an 8 year gap in your cv and no mention of educating yourself in that time, no I don't think you'll work again your pretty much unemployable as you are. Most employers wouldn't look twice at your cv.

Your only hope now is get back into education, take it seriously and maybe in 4/5 years time your in a lot better position in life both mentally and financially.

Your anxiety should start to disappear once you start interacting with the world again in a non confrontional environment, there's a lot of students just as terrified as you about going into the workplace.

Forget the doctor route unless you want to wallow in depression and anxiety for the next 50 years.
Go get careers advice, get off the dole, stop being afraid of people we don't bite.

Do you understand anxiety at all?

Anxiety isn't being scared about talking to people or going to college. It's an illness. A pretty debilitating one at that.


Telling the op, who has been diagnosed with an illness, not to seek medical help is grossly irresponsible. Would you tell someone with diabetes not to bother with their insulin and to just cut back on sugar? Because that's the sort of advice you're giving with regards to her medical condition. Also, you don't wallow in depression and anxiety for fifty years by seeking help. I'm happier and more stable than I've ever been since seeking help.

I agree with your comments about the gap in her cv. She'll need to go on to further education or volunteer to bulk out the cv and have something recent and relevant on it.

Gordon

It doesn't take social anxiety to hate working in a customer facing role. Working in a shop can turn extroverts into introverts and hippies into maniacal robots. That type of job is simply not for you.

You seem to be able to interact with people online, so how about text based customer service like social media or letters/email etc.

Life is tough, we all have it tough, and it's going to take work on your behalf, but you can still find a great job and even a job you love. It's very possible but it's up to you.

MouseTail

OP, contact NLN, they have expertise in assisting people who have been unemployed a long time, and need help with confidence building, career planning in order to get them employable etc. Only you can take action on this. www.nln.ie

MrWalsh

Forgetting about social anxiety and being on the dole and lack of qualifications and all that for a minute....


In a perfect world, if you were allowed to have any job you wanted, what would you like to do?

I think people are being a bit harsh on the OP.

Have you considered volunteering - it could expose you to work that is not customer facing and give you some more positive experience.

drunkmonkey

Jenny Thalia wrote: »

Telling the op, who has been diagnosed with an illness, not to seek medical help is grossly irresponsible.

They self diagnosed, on jobseekers not disability.

Penny Tration

drunkmonkey wrote: »

They self diagnosed, on jobseekers not disability.

How do you know they self diagnosed? They said they've received treatment for this, from their doctor. They were given medication.

LegacyUser

Jenny Thalia wrote: »

How do you know they self diagnosed? They said they've received treatment for this, from their doctor. They were given medication.

The OP never said they had received treatment only that they took tablets, they never said it was prescription medicine. For all we know it was herbal tablets or over the counter treatments. Medication is not a recommended treatment for social anxiety, some people do take antidepressants to deal with depression resulting from the anxiety but the most effective treatment is Cognitive behavioural therapy. The OP states if they went to their GP they are sure they'd be put on disability so why haven't they done this? What is the advantage of staying on jobs seekers?

mg1982

I think the chances of being put on disability for anxiety are slim. You would need to be in and out of psychiatric hospitals and probably suffering from a psychotic illness to get on it.

lisasimpson

Op there are other options you could consider that dont always involce dealing woith people too much.what part of the country are you in?
Try getting seasonal work depending on ypur location like in argos for xmas..they take on people for areas like out the back to get the customers orders...likewise the post office takes on extra staff at xmas in their sorting offices.
They would only be for a few wks taking baby steps.
Also do any of ur siblings live near u and have kids...why dont u mind them..with the cost of childcare it would be a win win for both you and the parents

LegacyUser

mg1982 wrote: »

I think the chances of being put on disability for anxiety are slim. You would need to be in and out of psychiatric hospitals and probably suffering from a psychotic illness to get on it.

You can get disability of anxiety, it is a recognised chronic mental illness but the OP would have trouble getting it as they would be seen as high functioning with the condition given they are able to maintain a relationship and by their own admission are able to go to the cinema and concerts. To qualify the OP would have to prove the illness stops them from working (and that would be any type of work not just customer service jobs) and they would need to show medical records proving they were trying to treat the illness.

Permabear

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greenfrogs

OP I really do feel for you. I think you have lost your way in life. I have received treatment for social anxiety. It's called cognitive behaviour therapy and it has changed my life. I have been out of work for about year recovering from mental health issues. During that time I received a lot of help from my local mental health services. I was referred to these services through my gp.

Social anxiety is really debilitating. It is so isolating and tears apart your entire life. I doubt you want to spend your entire life on benefits. You can go out there, have a job and enjoy life. You're still so young and have a long future ahead of yourself. Now I am much better and am looking for jobs. In a year my life has changed so much. So can yours. I think you should seek out some support to help you get through this. It's horrible to have to cut off a big part of life because you are afraid.

greenfrogs

Caleb Tart Word wrote: »

Sorry but your commiting benefit fraud & not many people are going to be sympathetic to that just because "work isnt for you". Your siblings all have these nice things because they work for them! How are you getting away with claiming jobseekers? You have to attend a lot of interviews proving you are looking for work dont you, surely thats worse for your social anxiety to be lying to the social services people all the time...?

The OP has mentioned that she avoids work, crowds and some situations due to her anxiety. Social anxiety is a recognised mental health issue. That is why I have sympathy for her. Imagine having to avoid normal regular activities due to anxiety. She also mentions she gets down during the day. Not been able to work is a symptom of severe anxiety. The focus should be on the op getting the help and supports she needs.

I can't believe the number of thanks this post got. It's so ignorant.

Stheno

greenfrogs wrote: »

The OP has mentioned that she avoids work, crowds and some situations due to her anxiety. Social anxiety is a recognised mental health issue. That is why I have sympathy for her. Imagine having to avoid normal regular activities due to anxiety. She also mentions she gets down during the day. Not been able to work is a symptom of severe anxiety. The focus should be on the op getting the help and supports she needs.

I can't believe the number of thanks this post got. It's so ignorant.

I think the main issue people have here is that the OP has taken eight years to essentially do nothing.

I'm an anxious person and an introvert and will worry endlessly about things I've said/done for no reason. I work in a job where I am evaluated every week by strangers, and do well, but still I worry. I've taken plenty of steps in the past eight years, not only to deal with it, but to advance in my career.

Just today I had a meeting with the person who gives me the most work I do, and spent time before stressing that there was an issue. He was then 45 minutes late due to a mis understanding, and I managed to convince myself with no real basis, that it was due to me and something I'd done that he had to deal with.

Yet I waited that time, getting more and more nervous and everything was fine.

OP here appears to be using a condition to avoid progressing her life. She needs to attend an appropriate medical health professional, to enable her to identify how she can move on, work on doing so, and try to identify a job/career she may enjoy.

Instead she has repeatedly stated that she doesn't want to work, then contradicted herself, has refused to take advice on board, and not gotten any value from this thread.

greenfrogs

Stheno wrote: »

I think the main issue people have here is that the OP has taken eight years to essentially do nothing.

I'm an anxious person and an introvert and will worry endlessly about things I've said/done for no reason. I work in a job where I am evaluated every week by strangers, and do well, but still I worry. I've taken plenty of steps in the past eight years, not only to deal with it, but to advance in my career.

Just today I had a meeting with the person who gives me the most work I do, and spent time before stressing that there was an issue. He was then 45 minutes late due to a mis understanding, and I managed to convince myself with no real basis, that it was due to me and something I'd done that he had to deal with.

Yet I waited that time, getting more and more nervous and everything was fine.

OP here appears to be using a condition to avoid progressing her life. She needs to attend an appropriate medical health professional, to enable her to identify how she can move on, work on doing so, and try to identify a job/career she may enjoy.

Instead she has repeatedly stated that she doesn't want to work, then contradicted herself, has refused to take advice on board, and not gotten any value from this thread.

I have seen the op state she is afraid to work. I don't get get the feeling she doesn't want to work, why would she create this thread otherwise. Eight years is a long time. But, that is the past.

Everyone suffers from anxiety at times. A certain level is normal. It's when that social anxiety overtakes everything else in your life then it causes issues. For example, today you handled that stress but, what if you left upset and crying. What would be the consequences of that? I think it is quite concerning that a person has stated she is afraid to work. Most of the advice here is that she is a benefit fraud. Not advice, really. I do agree with you that the op needs to get professional help asap.

Her condition had affected her progression in life.