Would you tell a stranger their partner was cheating on them?

NachoBusiness

Well, that's what some girls at a baseball game in the states did a few days ago and then posted it on Twitter, where it has been retweeted 19,000 times already. Hope they're right so..

Woman busted for sexting another man - by two strangers at baseball game

If you're sending dirty texts to the person you're cheating on your partner with, maybe don't do it in public.

That's the lesson to learn from the two woman at a baseball game who happened to notice the couple in front of them weren't on the same wavelength.

While her male partner was sitting to her right at the game in Lowell, North Carolina, USA, this woman seemed to be sending detailed texts involving fantasies to someone labelled 'Nancy' in her iPhone.

But on closer inspection, the women behind - named Brynn and Delana - realised that it was in fact a man called Mark she was messaging - and he wasn't her husband.

The pair wrote a note to the woman's partner: "Your wife is cheating on you. Look at the messages under Nancy!

"It's really a man named Mark Allen. Sorry, just thought you should know!"

https://twitter.com/LUV2BCH_/status/624023588769804289


I think I would do the same if I knew 100% but if there was a doubt in my mind, I wouldn't.

What would you do if you witnessed the same or similar?

J. Marston

Probably, but I wouldn't broadcast it to the world.

Davei141

Don't complain if somebody caves your head in for it though.

tomwaterford

Nothing to do with...so I'd stay outta it

Could they not have told her husband sitting beside her??
Looks desperately like attention seeking and not being helpful

NachoBusiness

tomwaterford wrote: »

Could they not have told her husband sitting beside her??

Might not even be going out. Could be just a friend.

Here's a short video clip they posted also:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKDRSzjmIfM

Mesrine65

Why would I?

Strangers problem, his/her luck out.

PlainP

tomwaterford wrote: »

Nothing to do with...so I'd stay outta it

Could they not have told her husband sitting beside her??
Looks desperately like attention seeking and not being helpful

Did you even read the OP?

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Only if they didn't cave in to my blackmail demands.

KomradeBishop

Probably, yes - if it could be done anonymously, or if I would be gone by the time they are confronting one another over it.

It's funny the lengths people will go to, to try and make the person informing on the cheater look bad - i.e. as if the person deserving judgement is the person informing on the cheater, rather than the cheater.

Samaris

Meeeh. No.

That's one of those cases where interfering right now will only bring the inevitable pain forward for the guy.

Best case scenario (?) - She realises that she's being a dick to her husband, ends the affair, flash in the pan, least said soonest mended and/or she tells him, they talk it out and figure things out from there.
Second best scenario - She realises she's being a dick to her husband, she loves the Mark guy, divorce and they move on with their lives
Pretty **** scenario - He finds out from Ashley Madison.
Really **** situation - Couple of total strangers tell him his wife's cheating on him while he's stuck in the middle of a day out in the midst of thousands of people, and sitting beside her.

One eyed Jack

I think in that particular situation, the "reportees" were only looking for notoriety for themselves. They don't seem at all to have actually considered her husband, but were rather taking some sort of spiteful glee in publically humiliating this woman, a complete stranger to them.

No, I wouldn't do it, not to a friend and certainly not to a complete stranger. I'd gain nothing from it only the knowledge that I were a childish, spiteful bastard. I don't have much regard for anyone who interferes in someone's life like that simply in order to humiliate them.

NachoBusiness

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I don't have much regard for anyone who interferes in someone's life like that simply in order to humiliate them.

Well, I don't have much regard for cheats...

I despise them in fact and hand on heart, has never happened to me but I can't understand how people who would have no problem turning in car thief or a pick pocket or whatever, would draw the line at turning in someone that was cheating?

I'd want to be 100% on it now though. No way I would risk sticking my oar into waters I had no idea about. If I was to tell someone that their girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband was cheating, then I would have to be damn sure of it. But if I was damn sure, fcuk them, they can reap what they sowed

KomradeBishop

The question isn't "would you inform on a cheater to be spiteful and for fun?" though, it is "Would you tell a stranger their partner was cheating on them?", so focusing only on the former, comes across as casting aspersions on all people who would inform on a cheater, not just in this particular circumstance.

The way the people in the OP informed the guy, was wrong and childish in many ways, but the same situation absent the self-promotion of the two in the video, would be fair game really - if they hadn't informed the guy, he might never have found out he was being betrayed.

wylie

Yes i would, Not over the internet. I was cheated on and it hurts. Especially when in the same circle of friends. Bitch...lol

Hammer89

This is kinda like the other d*ckheads in the Danny Ward video. Their motivation stems not from the satisfaction of doing the right thing, but the attention that they'll receive on social media.

zeffabelli

Nope. None of my business.

Idjit

I wouldn't if it was a stranger. Because I don't know them or their situation so something that seems undoubtedly like cheating to me might be a totally different scenerio that I don't understand.

However, if it was a mate where I knew which parties were definitely in a relationship and the boundaries of their situation; that would be a different kettle of fish altogether.

Playboy

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Well, I don't have much regard for cheats...

I despise them in fact and hand on heart, has never happened to me but I can't understand how people who would have no problem turning in car thief or a pick pocket or whatever, would draw the line at turning in someone that was cheating?

I'd want to be 100% on it now though. No way I would risk sticking my oar into waters I had no idea about. If I was to tell someone that their girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband was cheating, then I would have to be damn sure of it. But if I was damn sure, fcuk them, they can reap what they sowed

Its none of your business. No one is breaking the law so stay the hell out of it. I don't understand why people feel the need to involve themselves in the private affairs of people they have no connection to. If it was friend or a relative then maybe but grassing up a stranger? That's out of order imo. You have no idea what kind of relationship they have, what the rules are, has one person cheated before, is one person an abuse victim... there could be a million different reasons but the most important reason is its none of your business and no one is asking for your involvement or opinion.

NachoBusiness

zeffabelli wrote: »

Nope. None of my business.

Out of curiosity, is that just with people you don't know personally, or would you also feel that friend's and work colleagues having affairs would also be none of your business?

zl1whqvjs75cdy

How did the two find out the guys full name when the cheater had the name is as Nancy? They must have been sitting on her shoulder. I'm deeply cynical about this, the two obviously just did it for social media fame and don't really give a ****e who your one sleeps with. This kind of takes away from the "good Samaritan" aspect of it for me.

AS per the question would I tell a stranger their partner is cheating on them. Probably not, they'd never believe you anyway. I once told a (now ex) friend his missus was cheating on him, I was 100 % sure I was right but he didn't believe me. He's still with her and no longer talks to me. If your "mates" aren't going to believe you when you dish the dirt there's no way a stranger would.

One eyed Jack

KomradeBishop wrote: »

The question isn't "would you inform on a cheater to be spiteful and for fun?" though, it is "Would you tell a stranger their partner was cheating on them?", so focusing only on the former, comes across as casting aspersions on all people who would inform on a cheater, not just in this particular circumstance.

The way the people in the OP informed the guy, was wrong and childish in many ways, but the same situation absent the self-promotion of the two in the video, would be fair game really - if they hadn't informed the guy, he might never have found out he was being betrayed.

But you're only supposed to be answering from the perspective of the former if you're putting yourself in the position of the former? The answer is still no, I wouldn't inform a complete stranger that their partner is cheating on them.

What those two women did though, was entirely self-promotional, it's the newest way to spread gossip and get some attention for yourself. They didn't just tell her husband, they told a whole bloody community, I doubt very much that woman's husband followed them on twitter.

They're playing with people's lives and while I obviously don't condone cheating, I don't condone publically humiliating someone for self-promotional reasons either.

KomradeBishop

Playboy wrote: »

Its none of your business. No one is breaking the law so stay the hell out of it. I don't understand why people feel the need to involve themselves in the private affairs of people they have no connection to. If it was friend or a relative then maybe but grassing up a stranger? That's out of order imo. You have no idea what kind of relationship they have, what the rules are, has one person cheated before, is one person an abuse victim... there could be a million different reasons but the most important reason is its none of your business and no one is asking for your involvement or opinion.

If you don't know what kind of relationship they have - e.g. say they are polyamorous - what harm is going to come from informing the guy? He'd just shrug it off, with no harm done (since it's consensual).
In what exact circumstances, can harm be caused, except in cases where cheating is actually going on? (where the 'harm' is to the cheater, having been found out)

I'm pretty sure the guy would be glad to know he's being cheated on (obviously not glad at the fact that he's been cheated on, but that he at least now knows).

How many people here, who have been cheated on, would be glad (or not be glad) to have a stranger give them a tip like this?


You could choose to get involved, simply because you don't like the fact that the person is cheating, and feel bad for the person being cheated on - i.e. just a basic sense of justice and empathy - I can't see how the 'none of your business' stuff here, serves to do anything other than enable cheaters.

Medusa22

I don't think I'd get involved to be honest, I'm sure that a lot of the time the partner being cheated on won't thank you for your interference. In this instance especially it seems that those women were just looking for attention and were not considering the feelings of the husband at all, and how he'd feel about finding out in that way, and having it posted all over twitter is just humiliating for both of the people involved. They shouldn't have been reading texts over that woman's shoulder anyway, and whatever they saw didn't concern them.

KomradeBishop

One eyed Jack wrote: »

But you're only supposed to be answering from the perspective of the former if you're putting yourself in the position of the former? The answer is still no, I wouldn't inform a complete stranger that their partner is cheating on them.

What those two women did though, was entirely self-promotional, it's the newest way to spread gossip and get some attention for yourself. They didn't just tell her husband, they told a whole bloody community, I doubt very much that woman's husband followed them on twitter.

They're playing with people's lives and while I obviously don't condone cheating, I don't condone publically humiliating someone for self-promotional reasons either.

I agree about the womens motives not being good, that they were being self-promotional/childish etc., it's just the way you phrased it (and in the context of the thread title), it came across like you were casting the same aspersions to all people who would inform on cheaters.

If that's not the way you meant it, fair enough - just was ambiguous.

NachoBusiness

donkeyoaty0099 wrote: »

AS per the question would I tell a stranger their partner is cheating on them. Probably not, they'd never believe you anyway. I once told a (now ex) friend his missus was cheating on him, I was 100 % sure I was right but he didn't believe me. He's still with her and no longer talks to me. If your "mates" aren't going to believe you when you dish the dirt there's no way a stranger would.

This guy probably felt that might happen to him and so he recorded it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cf8EeaassAU

One eyed Jack

KomradeBishop wrote: »

I agree about the womens motives not being good, that they were being self-promotional/childish etc., it's just the way you phrased it (and in the context of the thread title), it came across like you were casting the same aspersions to all people who would inform on cheaters.

If that's not the way you meant it, fair enough - just was ambiguous.

Ohh no, geez if other people would inform on someone who they thought was cheating on their partner or whatever, that's their own business, and I'd want no part in that either, but just from my own perspective, if it was me, I wouldn't.

I've often been in that situation where I knew someone was cheating on their partner, and I've had a word with the partner that was cheating. I don't think there's anything to be gained from informing the person being cheated on that their partner is cheating on them, it just adds humiliation to hurt, knowing that not only has their partner been cheating on them, but also that someone else knew about it before they did.

spurious

Only the people involved in a relationship really know what is going on in it. Not my business to interfere.

Two noticeboxes - your one's username (@LUV2BCH_) would tell you as much.

The game must have been sh1te.

The_Valeyard

Well, that proof!!! Right there!!!


Baseball is so boring, people would rather out cheating partners than follow the game.

And to answer the OP, no I wouldn't. I've seen what happens when people get involved in others relationships, it can get very nasty and messy very quickly.

KomradeBishop

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Ohh no, geez if other people would inform on someone who they thought was cheating on their partner or whatever, that's their own business, and I'd want no part in that either, but just from my own perspective, if it was me, I wouldn't.

I've often been in that situation where I knew someone was cheating on their partner, and I've had a word with the partner that was cheating. I don't think there's anything to be gained from informing the person being cheated on that their partner is cheating on them, it just adds humiliation to hurt, knowing that not only has their partner been cheating on them, but also that someone else knew about it before they did.

Okey - but in that situation, how long did the person stay with the cheater since you found out, before they themselves found out they were being cheated on?

You could easily save them a lot of wasted time staying with someone who is betraying them, by letting them know - and if they break it off earlier, then you save him the humiliation, of more people finding out he's being cheated on, before he eventually finds out (assuming he ever does - some people could end up wasting decades staying with a partner who betrayes them, if nobody took the decision to let them know).

LeBash

I've often said it to hotties and followed shortly by, we should get him back. It's surprising how often it works

ALiasEX

KomradeBishop wrote: »

Okey - but in that situation, how long did the person stay with the cheater since you found out, before they themselves found out they were being cheated on?

You could easily save them a lot of wasted time staying with someone who is betraying them, by letting them know - and if they break it off earlier, then you save him the humiliation, of more people finding out he's being cheated on, before he eventually finds out (assuming he ever does - some people could end up wasting decades staying with a partner who betrayes them, if nobody took the decision to let them know).

And may save them having a child with the scumbag.