Time for a seagull cull

Sgt Hartman

http://www.rte.ie/news/2015/0720/716033-seagulls/

They seem to be getting completely out of control where I'm living. They are absolutely everywhere. I was even attacked by one this evening when I walked past it's chicks who were wandering around on the footpath. The bastard thought I was threatening it's chicks so it swooped down and whacked me on the top of the head. Their incessant screeching regularly keeps me awake at night. I have to use earplugs every night now.

Seriously though, I've never seen their numbers gone like this before. I think they should be heavily culled. After culling the dead seagulls can be minced up to be used as multi-purpose gull slurry, exactly like the fish slurry that Mister Burns created in the Simpson :pac:

https://tstoaddicts.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/lisa-slurry.png

"A spoonful of gull slurry will cure what ails ya"
http://static-media.fxx.com/img/FX_Networks_-_FXX/41/111/Simpsons_08_21_P4.jpg?resize=600:*

Sam Kade

What about a senator cull first

Sir Osis of Liver.

Thery're handy for mopping up coastal oil spills in fairness.

RobbingBandit

Pigeons first, trash eating stink birds.

Bio Mech

I am not gullible enough to believe your story.

Buzz Meeks

Well you insist on living on a beach.

NachoBusiness

I was having a bag of chips down at the Liffey, near Bord Gais Theatre, the other night and I gave one a chip. My attention was then distracted for a moment by some clown that nearly crashed turning at the Ferryman pub and as I turned back around the fecker stuck his beak in me chips and tore off with one, near taking my head off with his big flappy wings as he did so. That's a vote for him for the Starry Night chinese I suppose. Pity they wouldn't catch him for me and stick the fcuker in a curry.

jamesbere

I for one welcome our seagull overlords and will s**t on windscreens in their honour

diusmr8a504cvk

Down with this sort of thing!

denismc

Feckin' feathered eejits! Gob****es, the lot of ya!

wendell borton

It's people that are the problem throwing all their crap and excess food around the place attracting them in. In reality sea birds are in decline.

feargale

Sgt Hartman wrote: »

Seriously though, I've never seen their numbers gone like this before. I think they should be heavily culled.

Maybe the seagulls are planning a cull of humans. They must surely never have seen our numbers gone like this.

Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker

I hate seagulls so much. Every summer I lived in Ireland was spent dodging the bastards' swoops.

diusmr8a504cvk

Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker wrote: »

I hate seagulls so much. Every summer I lived in Ireland was spent dodging the bastards' poops.

Fixed that there for ya :pac:

Arsemageddon

Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker wrote: »

I hate seagulls so much. Every summer I lived in Ireland was spent dodging the bastards' swoops.

Serve's you right for smelling like a sardine!

kneemos

They hang around the river around here.No idea what they live on,chips and burgers probably.

the evasion_kid

Living beside the sea I've got about 8 seagulls who are a permanent fixture on my roof,I even feed them,never had any hassle from them,to be honest I'd miss them if they went just for the entertainment of watching there battles with my dog.

5uspect

Like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpwgEk-dj2I

Firefox11

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D15HPy4x73g

Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker

Ian Tiny Guy wrote: »

Fixed that there for ya :pac:

I wish. Poops would've been far less terrifying

Has anyone eaten one before? Are they worth eating?

Only after YEARS of dropping hints I think this year might finally be the year where I get a self-reloading crossbow for my birthday. And if there is any decent eating on them - then I am your man for a mini cull.

I have eaten a lot of (farmed) pigeon in my life and it was nice. So seagull has to have some merits, right?

daveville30

Im not that gull ible seen it on tellitext today.

AngryHippie

I miss seagulls.

All I ever see now is these mangy b**tards aka "bin chicken", "dump chook", "trash vulture", or "tip turkey

They are two feet tall, so don't pretend a little seagull can match it dump for dump.

One of these hits your car, you'd best be cleaning it before it gets an hour or two in the sun

Buzz Meeks

Deleted User wrote: »

Has anyone eaten one before? Are they worth eating?

They do need seasoning.

josip

We need some of this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suYz5SHFHyA

Simply Red

A guy i used to work with was walking down grafton street once eating a breakfast roll, a seagull swooped down and grabbed the whole thing outta his hands and flew off :pac:

Simply Red

Simply Red wrote: »

A guy i used to work with was walking down grafton street once eating a breakfast roll, a seagull swooped down and grabbed the whole thing outta his hands and flew off :pac:

Since I am ripping off ideas from other people on boards.ie tonight I have to express my admiration for another idea I once saw on boards.

There is a guy on boards who has a retirement plan idea whereby he retires - gets a kestrel or other hunting bird - and then trains it to sweep down in this fashion and steal paper money.

I can see it now - him unleashing it at the future version of the electric picnic and people paying for their felafel - or whatever poncey food they are selling there these days - and they guy buying the food suddenly has to explain to the guy handing him the food that "I HAD money here a moment ago but you are not going to believe what just happened......"

The more evil part of my black humor pictures the same guy on the hill with his bird in an era where paper money exists no more. Either way my titillation is complete

Buzz Meeks

Simply Red wrote: »

A guy i used to work with was walking down grafton street once eating a breakfast roll, a seagull swooped down and grabbed the whole thing outta his hands and flew off :pac:

I'm sure your friend had the last laugh after the seagulls next medical and its cholesterol numbers were off the chart.

the evasion_kid

When I worked on the boats,lads I worked with used to tell me they'd be so sick of seagulls out at sea S!itting on them and just being a general nuisance, they would put alka-seltzer tablets in bits of fish and throw them to them,the alka-seltzer would effervescence inside them and they'd blow up in the air...dunno if it's true

Lets work on them hospital beds first

Cienciano

Nicely done by RTE website the picture they used is fúcking brilliant for an article about menacing seagulls terrorising the city.

I like the edit "a danger to children". So senator Denis O'Donovan actually said, seagulls have killed rabbits and lambs and he said he thought they were now actually endangering children. He thinks children will be killed by seagulls?

Senators really do themselves no favours with this shíte. I reckon Fidelma Healy Eames thinks this one is a bit fúcking stupid

Wright

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Thery're handy for mopping up coastal oil spills in fairness.

Ireland had many of them recently?

Capt'n Midnight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIpfWORQWhU

And I ran, I ran so far away
I just ran, I ran all night and day
Couldn't get away

PandaPoo

I live beside the sea and have never noticed them. We walk along the beach twice a week and they're never been an issue. Strange must keep an eye out.

scrimshanker

They're a problem in lots of coastal areas, especially where fcuking twattish day trippers feed the pests. It's at the stage where all the other birds are being forced out of the area and diversity is plummeting. They're noisy, dirty and grossly overpopulated.

It's so funny for people who don't have to deal with the problem of them most of the year, they laugh about it seeming so trivial but the overpopulation is an outright nuisance that benefits nobody. Cull them so the other seabirds have half a chance and local people aren't woken by them using the roof as a crab opener (which only happens because all their natural nesting grounds are at capacity, such as cliffs, because there are too many of them). Cull cull cull!

lizzyman

Cienciano wrote: »

Nicely done by RTE website the picture they used is fúcking brilliant for an article about menacing seagulls terrorising the city.

I like the edit "a danger to children". So senator Denis O'Donovan actually said, seagulls have killed rabbits and lambs and he said he thought they were now actually endangering children. He thinks children will be killed by seagulls?

Senators really do themselves no favours with this shíte. I reckon Fidelma Healy Eames thinks this one is a bit fúcking stupid

To be fair though, a seagull weighs about 1kg, dives at 40 mp/h and has pretty sharp claws and a beak. Wouldn't be enough to kill anyone but you could easily lose an eye to the fúckers.

ahnowbrowncow

Deleted User wrote: »

Lets work on them hospital beds first

I thought we needed more of them, not less?

wendell borton

A seagull ate my baby!:P
The seagull threat is this silly seasons moral panic.

vienne86

They're a menace to gardeners.....and crows and magpies too.

conorhal

We should leave this to the professionals, by which I mean the Happy Monday's. They have experience with this sort of pest control:

kfallon

I thought there was a baby or small child being strangled outside my window at about 5am last week.....turns out it was only one of these seagulls giving me an early morning wake up! It's very, very annoying :mad:

Menas

I would love to be legally allowed to get the old trusty shotgun out and go to Howth Hill and shoot seagulls.

All for the common good, no personal gratification at all.

Dyr

I came home early and found three seagulls trying to jimmy my back door, there was a younger young keeping sketch and they drove off in a white van when he saw me.


I'm assuming "seagull" is now a euphemism for travellers, in much the way the zombie craze allows americans to fantasize about blowing the heads off hordes of unruly blacks

SEPT 23 1989

release a load of bald eagles in the city centre and see how smart they are then

Dyr

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

release a load of bald eagles in the city centre and see how smart they are then

The farmers and pigeon fanciers will poison the eagles though

Dyr

lord bless us and save us, these lads are gallivanting up and down the length and breadth of the country. People are lucky to be coming away with their lives

http://www.thejournal.ie/seagulls-killing-sheep-2231447-Jul2015/

Skylinehead

Bambi wrote: »

lord bless us and save us, these lads are gallivanting up and down the length and breadth of the country. People are lucky to be coming away with their lives

http://www.thejournal.ie/seagulls-killing-sheep-2231447-Jul2015/

Also speaking to Kerry Today, a motorcyclist spoke of a narrow escape from a determined seagull, who had attempted to knock him off his bike near Waterville.
It ”nearly knocked my head off” he said – noting that it had come at him ”like a Second World War Stuka” and that the gull ”knew what he was doing”.

Brilliant :pac:

Wossack

Lol, sounds like something our jimgoose would say

you been winding up journos?

Son Of A Vidic

Bambi wrote: »

I came home early and found three seagulls trying to jimmy my back door, there was a younger young keeping sketch and they drove off in a white van when he saw me.


I'm assuming "seagull" is now a euphemism for travellers, in much the way the zombie craze allows americans to fantasize about blowing the heads off hordes of unruly blacks

http://www.pictureshack.us/images/51581_that-escalated-quickly.jpg

Capt'n Midnight

http://asset-6.soupcdn.com/asset/11803/0082_629c.gif

Vandango

Bambi wrote: »

The farmers and pigeon fanciers will poison the eagles though

That's true. The ignorant fúcks are always doing that.:(