Moving in with herself

yermandan

Beautiful lads and lassies of AH, I'm moving in with herself soon and am here to ask for advice on do's and dont's going forward.

What I have so far;

- bathroom door closed at all times
- no socks and jocks everywhere
- scheduled no tv/technology time

All funny/helpful replies welcome

:-)

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Do: stay where you are.
Don't: Move house.

Links234

No phones/tablets at the table

OneOfThem

Whatever size your bed is, get a duvet that is at least one size up from that.

hatrickpatrick

yermandan wrote: »

- bathroom door closed at all times

This is exactly how one acquires a horrendously smelly bathroom.

darkpagandeath

Don't walk into the bathroom when the other half is showering and take a crap.

Kimbot

Your only allowed 1 drawer and 20% of the hanging space for your clothes.

Eventually you will only be allowed have 15% of the bedspace.

aaronjumper

Don't ever leave the toilet seat up if you value your sanity.

Do flash the willy now and again so she knows you still love her.

Stone Deaf 4evr

don't be having an ould tug while shes laying beside you, regardless of whether or not it "helps you sleep".

hatrickpatrick

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Don't walk into the bathroom when the other half is showering and take a crap.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCzebM-zZzY

jester77

For some reason, the bathroom is the most contentious. Sort out these and you will be ok:

• No skid marks on the toilet (or pubes if you have any)
• Leave the seat down
• Replace toilet roll when finished
• No just throwing tampons in the bin
• Rinse the shower after use
• No leaving mountains of hair around the bathroom after brushing, shaving, waxing, etc
• No getting toothpaste all over the mirror

And no farting under the duvet

Never go to sleep with an argument hanging between you. Even if it's unresolved, have a kiss and a hug and put it aside for the night.

yermandan

aaronjumper wrote: »

Don't ever leave the toilet seat up if you value your sanity.

Do flash the willy now and again so she knows you still love her.

Hahahha

Helicopter dance?

Lucifer MorningStar

The poor OP will be broke by the end of the month

downwesht

Leave one shelf in the fridge for her healthy stuff.Make sure the rest is fully stocked with your favourite tipple!

ScumLord

Don't pee on things to mark them as yours. Apparently that's not how it's done anymore.

aaronjumper

yermandan wrote: »

Hahahha

Helicopter dance?

Only on Valentines day, don't want it becoming a misshapen mess. :pac:

The Backwards Man

Jaysus lads, if any of you did the things listed so far in my house you'd be slinging your hook, what type of squalor do yous live in?

Tombi!

Do: not ask AH for advice
Don't: ask AH for advice.

And the toilet always go down. Not left up.

Menas

Decent of her to let you know she is moving in.

I had an ex who moved her self in after going out with me a few months. Took me a while to notice....

crockholm

Relax the bathroom door rule after about a month-in the future if she wants you to be there for the birth of her children she better be prepared to be around you for the birth of your wee brown babies,the circle of life etc. etc.

To guage her sense of humour,fart up against her leg when you're sleeping together- it might be a joke now,but it will happen unintentionally as you get older.

geosynchronous orbit

Don't replace her tampons with party poppers.... it's not funny and it doesn't make you a 'big man'

ComfortKid

hatrickpatrick wrote:

This is exactly how one acquires a horrendously smelly bathroom.

Windows or extractor fan? Leaving the door open will make the rest of the house smell like crap, so better off to confine it.

downwesht

Buy treble the amount of razor blades and foam......she will use the lot.........

D Trent

Candie wrote: »

Never go to sleep with an argument hanging between you. Even if it's unresolved, have a kiss and a rideand put it aside for the night.

FYP

Alzo90

Chances are there is going to be an arguements seeing as its new situation for both of ye.

WHATEVER happens stand your ground. If you break she will take you to the dogs.

First mark your territory and set your boundaries and hold it. But be compassionate and be a rock to weather the storm of volatile emotions that will happen.

Godspeed dude

Kimbot

1 big important tip..... make sure you have a secret stash of chocolate so when shes in foul mood you produce it and she will love you long time.

banquo

jester77 wrote: »

For some reason, the bathroom is the most contentious. Sort out these and you will be ok:

• No skid marks on the toilet (or pubes if you have any)
• Leave the seat down

What.

razorblunt

Keep your sock drawer under lock and key.
Why the fock she wants to wear size 12 formal socks is beyond me, but she does.

"They're navy and red and I'm wearing navy and red".
'You're also wearing boots so they can't be seen you wagon!'.

Kimbot

banquo wrote: »

What.

She might like the last chicken in tescos look

Menas

banquo wrote: »

What.

Manscaping!

stimpson

Don't listen to any of that. Be yourself. If she can't deal with it then you'll know sooner and save yourself a lot of time. If you pretend to be someone else then you'll soon slip back into your old ways and she'll get the arse.

The toilet seat is left up or down in my house depending on who has used it last. It's called equality.

SEPT 23 1989

get a second television

yermandan

All fcuking golden tips so far

Mister Vain

Make sure you let her know when she leaves the toilet seat down.

Alzo90

Mwwahahaha

demanufactured

Ah soon you'll be building a deck and getting a karcher pressure washer for the back yard...

Get another TV for your games console.
Don't let her take up the whole bed.

Make sure she knows her limits... Women are strange creatures who think they can do anything.

Allow her alone time when she wants it.. You'll pay for this if you don't take heed.

Keep plenty of beer in the fridge for yourself.


Of course none of this applies to me... Mrs Demanufactured is not a crazy.

Junkyard Tom

Make a point of spending time apart.

mailforkev

Never mind all that scheduling lark for a start (phone free time etc.). You can't manufacture fun.

Just be yourselves and it will work out great.

As for leaving socks and jocks all over the place, you're an adult, you shouldn't be doing that anyway.

Rubberlegs

Ooohhh it's a whole different thing going from seeing each other a few times a week, to moving in together. How I didn't murder him for the first year I'll never know. He had an ancient old clock radio on his bedside locker. He couldn't get to sleep without the radio on. I couldn't get to sleep with it on. There was this one on the radio late at night at the time, around 1995, Amelia was her name I think. She did this skit thing speaking in a stupid voice. He thought she was hilarious. I didn't. So I'd wait till I thought he was asleep, and turn it off. He would still be awake and turn it back on. So on and so forth. In the end he saw the error of his ways, and gave it up. There was probably loads of other stuff that wound me up , but that's the one I never forgot.

NicoleW85

I'm coming into the 7th year of my life sentence. I've seen & heard it all - the willy dance, running commentary of the morning dump, countless farts, spontaneous 'moments' im best not sharing. If you love someone you'll put up with them, and if you can't beat them, join them (apart from the willy dance for obvious reasons). Just have fun

Alzo90

Was this before the era of the smartphone/mp3 player?

OneOfThem

73Cat wrote: »

Ooohhh it's a whole different thing going from seeing each other a few times a week, to moving in together. How I didn't murder him for the first year I'll never know. He had an ancient old clock radio on his bedside locker. He couldn't get to sleep without the radio on. I couldn't get to sleep with it on. There was this one on the radio late at night at the time, around 1995, Amelia was her name I think. She did this skit thing speaking in a stupid voice. He thought she was hilarious. I didn't. So I'd wait till I thought he was asleep, and turn it off. He would still be awake and turn it back on. So on and so forth. In the end he saw the error of his ways, and gave it up. There was probably loads of other stuff that wound me up , but that's the one I never forgot.

Are you both part of that weird religious cult that thinks earphones are the devils presence in the world?

lollsangel

jester77 wrote: »

For some reason, the bathroom is the most contentious. Sort out these and you will be ok:

• No skid marks on the toilet (or pubes if you have any)
• Leave the seat down
• Replace toilet roll when finished
• No just throwing tampons in the bin
• Rinse the shower after use
• No leaving mountains of hair around the bathroom after brushing, shaving, waxing, etc
• No getting toothpaste all over the mirror

And no farting under the duvet

Where's he putting the tampon?

downwesht

downwesht wrote: »

Buy treble the amount of razor blades and foam......she will use the lot.........

Conversely, when you're out of razor blades, never shave with hers.

Cut my face to ribbons with that bright idea once.

gutenberg

Totally agree with the tip about buying a much larger duvet than whatever sized bed you have. Consider even investing in one each.

I would say to try and be fair about the division of jobs around the house. Nothing makes someone resentful in a flash than a feeling of being taken advantage of when it comes to housework.

RayM

yermandan wrote:

Beautiful lads and lassies of AH, I'm moving in with herself soon and am here to ask for advice on do's and dont's going forward.

How about not referring to a person whom you presumably love, as 'herself'? Does anyone else find that kind of faux-dismissive language really cringe-worthy, or is it just me?

Rubberlegs

OneOfThem wrote: »

Are you both part of that weird religious cult that thinks earphones are the devils presence in the world?

It was a big old clumpy Hitachi clock radio, it didn't have an earplug thingy on it. Imagine if it did , and turning in the bed , and pulling the whole lot into his face. Bahahaha !!

whiteramekin

RayM wrote: »

How about not referring to a person whom you presumably love, as 'herself'? Does anyone else find that kind of faux-dismissive language really cringe-worthy, or is it just me?

it's just you

OneOfThem

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Conversely, when you're out of razor blades, never shave with hers.

Cut my face to ribbons with that bright idea once.

Why in gods name are women's razors so sh1t? It makes absolutely no sense. They have more to shave than us. Surely they should be better if anything? They are churned out from the same factories by the same companies aren't they? Is it deliberate for some reason?

Mister Vain

NicoleW85 wrote: »

I'm coming into the 7th year of my life sentence. I've seen & heard it all - the willy dance, running commentary of the morning dump, countless farts, spontaneous 'moments' im best not sharing. If you love someone you'll put up with them, and if you can't beat them, join them (apart from the willy dance for obvious reasons). Just have fun

Do guys actually do that?